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halo
Tripper



Registered: 11/01/07
Posts: 1,169
Last seen: 3 months, 2 days
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Premature Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety
#14379152 - 04/30/11 07:30 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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So I finally have a girlfriend. We had a thing for a while last year but stopped and now we're back together. She's really sweet and I like her but I feel like our sex is a problem.
I can't seem to last very long in bed. Sometimes I'm able to go upwards of 10 minutes and make her cum but the majority of the time I blow it too soon.
This sucks, because I can tell she's upset. She says she's not and that she likes being with me no matter what but I can tell it's a let down. I just need to know what I can do. Also we aren't having sex that much, maybe a couple of times per week. I can tell if I was better we would have more sex, but how can I convince her to have more sex with me? Practice makes perfect right?
-------------------- All drugs should be legal
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amilibertine
It’s good to be back!



Registered: 06/10/09
Posts: 3,241
Loc: Northern South Midwest
Last seen: 5 months, 16 days
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Re: Premature Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety [Re: halo]
#14379186 - 04/30/11 07:39 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Go again in a couple minutes after you get off the first time. It's not like sex HAS to be over when a guy gets off.
There are other things you can do as well. I'm sure more people will chime in.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Premature Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety [Re: amilibertine]
#14379286 - 04/30/11 08:02 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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...problem is that some women don't feel like continuing once the guy comes.
Good news about the twice-weekly sex is that it will give you some time to get your shit together. You need AstroGlide (NOT the gel, the liquid kind in a bottle) and the hottest porn you can find -- whatever movies and pictures get you riled up.
Now put yourself on a 1-2 x daily masturbation schedule. Your goal is to get to the point where you can go at it full-on for 15+ minutes without stopping to cool down. Make masturbation a job in which you do not allow yourself to cum in less than 15 min. Stopping is your last resort, but you'll be doing it a lot in the early phases. Your tools are deep breathing, relaxation (including muscles you don't think about often, such as your anus), and mental distraction (baseball, hitler and the like), or deep concentration, depending what you prefer to call it. Clenching whatever the heall that stop-peeing muscle is called can also help distract, although I've never been able to prevent ejaculation with it.
If you fuck up blow it in under 15 min., you do it again (and succeed) later that day.
All of this might sound horribly regimented, but you're rlearning about your own body in the process. After a point, you'll realize that you can concentrate in good, sexual feelings in parts of your body other than your dick (deep tingling in back and legs, etc.), which will forestall orgasm. You're also building confidence to take some of the anxiety out of the sexual encounter.
The lube and hot porn is necessary to simulate the arousal of the real deal. ...not quite as good as the real thing, but probably the closest you can get by your lonesome.
Climax control condoms can also take the edge off. I've used them with success.
Good luck!
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halo
Tripper



Registered: 11/01/07
Posts: 1,169
Last seen: 3 months, 2 days
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Re: Premature Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14383193 - 05/01/11 03:20 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hmm thanks for the advice. The thing is I've been able to jack it to porn for a long time. When I'm masturbating I don't have as much of a problem lasting longer compared to when I'm actually having sex.
I think the problem is one of relaxation. Like idk the thing is I'm 19 and I haven't really had much sexual experience aside from her. She's cool and understanding but I just get frustrated. Honestly I think I get way more stressed out about all this than she does, but I still worry ya know.
Basically we'll be having sex and I'll be doing all right but she wants me to go really fast and fuck her hard and good. It's just that if I do that I'll blow my load. Hell sometimes I cum before I even start going fast. It sucks, I get far too aroused really, I think it's all in my head, which does make me feel better. But I also think that with multiple years of masturbation I'm just really not used to the inside of a vagina, it feels really really good. Also she really like to orgasm via dick. She likes to be eaten out and fingered sure but for her it's nowhere near as good as having a dick inside her. And I get that. The problem is that after I come she doesn't really want me to finger her or get her off orally, which makes me feel worse. Yeah sometimes we go again after I come and I usually do last longer, but still sometimes not as long as I should to get her to cum. Idk, I feel like just talking about this on here is helping a lot.
I'll give the masturbation routine a try, probably without porn though.
-------------------- All drugs should be legal
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Premature Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety [Re: halo]
#14383376 - 05/01/11 03:57 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Yeah, the real thing feels real, real good.
You might want to try those climax control condoms. They have a desensitizing liquid inside that takes the edge off. Unless you read the packet very carefully, you wouldn't know that it's 'special.'
If you normally go at it bareback, any old condom will offer you more control.
Relaxation is probably the key. It might pay to visualize the sexual encounter and practice slow, deep breathing. Put your thumb on your navel and inflate your lower stomach, the part you're cradling just above your waist. Come back to your breath when she has you kick it into overdrive.
Another thought is that you might just not give her what she wants when she asks for it hard and fast. The prolonged anticipation just might make her all the hotter. Not to mention that chicks like dudes who take control. So you might try going slow and deep when she asks for it hard and fast. Tease the little bitch...I mean the nice woman about whom you care deeply.
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flameclown
totality is amust



Registered: 04/04/04
Posts: 956
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Re: Premature Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14383617 - 05/01/11 04:40 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Post deleted by flameclownReason for deletion: [this post is damn old]
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,923
Loc: .
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Re: Premature Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety [Re: flameclown]
#14386563 - 05/02/11 01:51 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Oral.
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Joolz


Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 3,614
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: Premature Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety [Re: vandago]
#14386632 - 05/02/11 02:14 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Relax your cock. Don't perma flex it but be sure to flex it often enough to keep blood flow and firmness. If you can masturbate a few hours before sex, do it. You sound like you're super horny and it makes you sensitive.
Switch positions often, don't be afraid to pull out and go down and lick her up a little bit. It will help you lose sensitivity and help you last longer, plus, girls like it when you their clits.
You can also try to precum a little bit. Start sex, and go back and forth until you're close, but stop early enough that you only jizz literally a few drops. That will help take out some of the sensitivity while also letting you stay hard. I've found that if I go in, hump till I feel like I could go, then pull out and squeeze the head I'll generally precum a few drops. Then I would just put it in her (after wiping off the little bits of jizz on a towel or the bed or whatever) and go at it.
I've had times where I've cum a little too much, and started losing sensitivity and firmness. That's not a problem though. That's when you get her on her knees, put it in her from behind, and pound the shit out of her. She'll obviously love it, because you're going hard and fast, but you should also find that you MUST go hard and fast to keep your dick as hard as possible.
There's nothing quite like the feeling of literally humping every second, dripping sweat, screaming her name and listening to her scream yours while you realize that you could do this for hours. Easiest way for me to lose sensitivity is either masturbation a few hours beforehand or a partial precum. Good luck brotha.
Also, put her on her back, lick her up, slide yourself in while on your knees, rub her clit with your thumb, move back and forth slowly, and kiss and lick her toes and feet. If she isn't grossed out by having her feet touched, I bet she'll love it. Especially if her feet are ticklish at all.
-------------------- Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.
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XUL
OTD Janitor



Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
Loc: America
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: Premature Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety [Re: halo]
#14387587 - 05/02/11 09:28 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
halo said: So I finally have a girlfriend. We had a thing for a while last year but stopped and now we're back together. She's really sweet and I like her but I feel like our sex is a problem.
I can't seem to last very long in bed. Sometimes I'm able to go upwards of 10 minutes and make her cum but the majority of the time I blow it too soon.
This sucks, because I can tell she's upset. She says she's not and that she likes being with me no matter what but I can tell it's a let down. I just need to know what I can do. Also we aren't having sex that much, maybe a couple of times per week. I can tell if I was better we would have more sex, but how can I convince her to have more sex with me? Practice makes perfect right?
You can make alot happen in 10 minutes. Do alot of foreplay, get her hot and wet, and then let the good times roll. Maybe it was just this girl, but with my ex I could get her off in a matter of minutes.
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Uzziel
O_o


Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 11,689
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Premature Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety [Re: XUL]
#14392706 - 05/03/11 02:20 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Why does the sex end when you get off?
This is how it goes for me (when I do get laid...)
Lots of foreplay, I give her oral, (if she wants to give me, awesome, if not, fuck it I don't care)
Try and get her off orally first... if you can't, stick it in, go at it, cum, eat her out again for a few minutes to recharge a bit and then start fucking her again. sex doesn't have to end just cause you get off
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