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OfflineTarkovsky
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Registered: 05/02/11
Posts: 2
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
HPPD (...another one :/...)
    #14392078 - 05/02/11 11:13 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

About 7 months ago (~Nov. 22, 2010) SWIM tripped 2ci. SWIM is a very inexperienced tripper, in fact, that was his first experience ever with psychedelics. Moreover, SWIM drank an indeterminate (~12mgs) dose of HCl 2ci dissolved in about a shot of water. Dosing was done by eye (purported 100mg dose divided up into 4 equal piles, then dividing one of the quarters into halves) by someone very close to SWIM who tripped that night as well. Being inexperienced and accompanied by someone with quite a bit of experience with psychedelics,  SWIM thought this was alright.

  The trip itself, according to SWIM, wasn't anything spectacular. In fact it took awhile for him to even start to realize anything was really happening, and when it did he felt he had to play close attention to really notice. No hallucinations beyond minor color shifting. Feelings of euphoria and major time dilation were the primary components of the trip.

  The next day, SWIM woke up with possibly even stronger color distortion (saturated colors) and slight time dilation. Even worse, his thinking was completely disorganized. At first, SWIM considered this similar to that foggy headed feeling a person gets the day after they smoke MJ. These visual distortions and mental disorganization persisted and, by the end of the week SWIM, had become unable to attend classes and was more suicidal than he'd ever been before, convinced he'd destroyed his brain.

  SWIM went to a doctor (for a preexisting breathing condition) and was told this condition  was as symptom of an anxiety disorder (GAD). SWIM was prescribed an SSRI (Lexapro) and Xanax to be taken as needed. These didn't help. Psychiatrist and therapist didn't help much either.

  SWIM began experimenting with ways to cope with his situation and at times he felt he was getting better. However, nothing was permanent and the problems (heaviness in chest; as if there was something foreign inserted in his chest, mental foggyness/disorganization also as if something foreign like a rock was in his head, intrusive thoughts that were to SWIM the WORST symptom, loss of sense of self, drastic decrease in motivation to do things SWIM once enjoyed) seemed to come and go in waves; spiking now, waning then.

  SWIM, once being passionate about his studies, was content doing only what he needed to get a good grade. Reading, which was once a huge part of his life, became/sometimes-is nearly impossible; feelings of frustration and neck pain somehow create some sort of a mental block that is hard for SWIM to describe.

  SWIM is now 7 months past the trip and still unsure of what is going on. SWIM experiences strange sensations: (1) protruding feeling in chest during meditation, as if there is something large protruding out or as if there was a heavy weight placed on a just a small part of his chest. (2) Strange head pressures. (3) mind/body disconnection; thinking and feeling as if his hand is facing palm-up when in fact his palms are facing down etc. Additionally SWIM has noticed a tremendous increase in floaters (though he also noticed an increase of floaters about a 7 or 8 months before dosing as well). Worst of all, SWIM often wonders whether he is on the road to some very serious mental illness as he has battled with intrusive thoughts and delusions; wondering if SWIM has somehow altered his brain chemistry to make him a psycho/sociopath, constantly noticing the frequency the number 6 occurs in his daily doings and attaching a pejorative meaning to it, loss of feelings of empathy that SWIM once considered some of his best qualities and cherished/nourished with his lifestyle.

  Recently, SWIM has been taking vitamins and nootropics. Regarding the latter, SWIM takes ~800mg of aniracetam and 120mg of Ginko. SWIM will be ordering Piracetam within the week and plans on combining 1 gram with slightly modified (lowered) doses of those nootropics already mentioned. SWIM has also began practicing meditation and listening to binaural beats. It's too early to tell if these are actually helpful but SWIM knows he is desperate and will stop at nothing to get past this somehow.

  SWIM is posting this just to see if maybe SWIM might just have some other problems, if it doesn't seem plausible that a single dose of 2ci (which we'll say could not have exceeded 50mg) was able to permanently alter SWIM's brain chemistry and ruin his life. Also, what SWIM might be able to do to help cope with all this.

  Sorry if this is all real long, just trying to get as much info packed in as I can. Thanks for any responses and help.

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OfflineRun
Questioning my existance
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Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 488
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: HPPD (...another one :/...) [Re: Tarkovsky]
    #14392097 - 05/02/11 11:16 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I would continue on ur latter, and see how that works for you .

ps. don't know how it happened to you , all their is now is what your experiencing


--------------------
You, me, this point in existence is undeniably so unique, we take everything for granite ,life , comprehension, feelings, thought, so accustomed to understanding that we've lost the meaning of fully understanding who we are..... we are the extra terrestrial, we are the unknown, we are the mystical...

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OfflineAlmond Flour
...get off my lawn!
Male


Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: HPPD (...another one :/...) [Re: Run]
    #14393203 - 05/03/11 07:27 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Well its a research chemical.....we dont really know much about the long term effects are or the potential it has to change your mind. BUT chances are you are overthinking shit (especially with GAD) and perhaps even a hypocondriac.

This is the problem (or at least mine) with recreational drug use. If something goes wrong and you run to a doctor (especially a psychiatrist) they will be more than willing to give you all kinds of pills. If i had to guess its something to do with the drugs your doc gave you, assuming your still taking them (or at least increasing some of these feelings). Those SSRI's and Xanax are both addicting as fuck. If you took SSRI's and come off them your are going to feel like crap (this goes for any powerful medication). Xanax you should stay away from all together.

I cant tell you what to do, you made your own choices and your gonna have to find your own way out of this if you wanna feel normal (but it is possible, many of us have been there before, including myself). If it were me i would fast EVERYTHING out of my system, and get a healthy diet started.

As for HPPD dont be a baby. Sadly its the nature of our "substance" to produce such effects in some people (and im guessing you knew this before going into it). Many, including myself, have things from floaters, to much worse.

Good luck dude. I hope you find your sanity back. It will take some work


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:

Edited by Almond Flour (05/03/11 07:33 AM)

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OfflineTarkovsky
Stranger
Registered: 05/02/11
Posts: 2
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: HPPD (...another one :/...) [Re: Almond Flour]
    #14399472 - 05/04/11 11:25 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Thanks for the responses fellas. Actually, SWIM started on a very low dose of SSRI (lexapro; 5mg) and moved up for about a month to 10 and just the past week and a half or so SWIM moved back down to 5mg. Xanax was never very bad, it was taken once a day for about a month (0.25mg) and then as needed. SWIM hasn't taken one in maybe a month or two.

  SWIM is on a weight loss diet right now, trying to get bf % down to about 9 or 10 so eating relatively healthy. Got a whole vitamin cocktail (400mg magnesium, 1g Vit.C, 3g Fish Oil, Vit.B Complex, MultiVitamin, and nootropics.) Been cutting meat out of diet as much as can for a year or two now as well (once a week maybe).

  Actually, being so inexperienced, SWIM didn't know anything, at all, about HPPD. Didn't know what a research chemical was, nothing. Never really did any psychedelics and didn't have a huge interest in them, but a lot of people close to SWIM kept talking about how amazing LSD was and how it's made them a better/smarter person. In particular, Karry Mullis' good words about LSD is what made SWIM decide he wanted to try psych's. LSD was hard to come around so someone very close to SWIM got hold of 2ci, told him it was basically the same thing except not explicitly illegal. SWIM was going through a very tough time in his life and the idea of having a drug make you a smarter person (Karry Mullis) was extremely appealing to SWIM and he tried it with those hopes.

  Thanks for the words of encouragement and the advice!

Edited by Tarkovsky (05/04/11 11:26 AM)

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OfflineiPRiSTiNE
Stranger
Registered: 03/05/11
Posts: 29
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: HPPD (...another one :/...) [Re: Tarkovsky]
    #14401566 - 05/04/11 07:24 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Tarkovsky said:
Thanks for the responses fellas. Actually, SWIM started on a very low dose of SSRI (lexapro; 5mg) and moved up for about a month to 10 and just the past week and a half or so SWIM moved back down to 5mg. Xanax was never very bad, it was taken once a day for about a month (0.25mg) and then as needed. SWIM hasn't taken one in maybe a month or two.

  SWIM is on a weight loss diet right now, trying to get bf % down to about 9 or 10 so eating relatively healthy. Got a whole vitamin cocktail (400mg magnesium, 1g Vit.C, 3g Fish Oil, Vit.B Complex, MultiVitamin, and nootropics.) Been cutting meat out of diet as much as can for a year or two now as well (once a week maybe).

  Actually, being so inexperienced, SWIM didn't know anything, at all, about HPPD. Didn't know what a research chemical was, nothing. Never really did any psychedelics and didn't have a huge interest in them, but a lot of people close to SWIM kept talking about how amazing LSD was and how it's made them a better/smarter person. In particular, Karry Mullis' good words about LSD is what made SWIM decide he wanted to try psych's. LSD was hard to come around so someone very close to SWIM got hold of 2ci, told him it was basically the same thing except not explicitly illegal. SWIM was going through a very tough time in his life and the idea of having a drug make you a smarter person (Karry Mullis) was extremely appealing to SWIM and he tried it with those hopes.

  Thanks for the words of encouragement and the advice!




I am currently in a very similar situation and have just been really trying to work my way out of it for about a month now. Some time ago, many months like you i was smoking alot of weed and took acid and was extremely intrigued by it and didn't know what to expect from it being a hallucinogen or what is so good about tripping. After smoking weed i had developed a small psychosis (it was kush) and began to take acid more often and even upped my dose to 3 hits from 1 (bunk, 20mcg street doses usually) and every time i tripped was at night allowing some sleep deprivation every time and so i started to have this permanent trip phenomenon but just sat back and enjoyed it and kept staying high all day long as usual but i also didn't know the whole tripping experience i just knew that i liked it so i thought the point of tripping was to have a ridiculous experience filled with hallucinations in cartoon land. So over time ive had over 30 acid trips and my 3 highest and most damaging doses being 3 white on white hits, 4 WoW hits, and 3 grateful dead blotters (around 60-80 mcg each..). On top of that I've had at least 10 mushroom trips ,with a couple doses of 1 or 2 grams but the rest 8ths, of all very potent shrooms and a multitude of 2ci trips at the 30 mg and 20 mg level and some 10. During this time I also used molly occasionally and cocaine which were attempts to get high cause the dro just wasn't cuttin it. But I've learned alot about psychedelics and how they induce the state of tripping and if you sit and pay attention to the colors (when you do this you bring your body into a still anxiety filled state, which you should know is not healthy and you should catch yourself) and all it will basically burn it or imprint it into your vision by ways of memory so everywhere you look you will carry it with you until you can fight it off enough to pay attention to reality. Im guessing my case is a bit worse than yours but we were both brought into it the same way it sounds like smoking weed by itself and noticing floaters isn't too uncommon if you can't really focus amazingly and if your a little depressed/worried and considering weed is a hallucinogen which causes the floaters which is paying attention to light(where all psychedelic hallucinations revolve around, it just gets weirder as you run deep). Stop smoking weed and focus on everything happening around you and in your life don't get put down by fits of paranoia or unusual thinking you can come back (will take me months..). Also medication will only work if your working on the problem itself while finding its effects useful, i took zoloft it made me suicidal, lexapro it made me very anxious with tremors teeth clenching and unclear thinking, then celexa which harmed me more than any hallcinogen which i basically didn't sleep for a month and lost my mind to an extreme point which you don't want to reach cause it makes things HARDER than anything before it....Currently am taking 1000mg B12, 1000mg L-tyrosine, 1000mg fish oil omega 3 (EAP + DHA) to support concentration, memory, and brain health and fighting my want to smoke weed. You may have psychotic symptoms but if you look all that shit up, think about it all the time and worry then that's just plain stupid trust me. Soon here im gonna get a prescription for a small dose of adderall because it did amazing wonders on my train of thought while i was using i just didn't have a good source. I'm gonna see if this will not worsen my effects at all and hope it will speed up my time being stuck here completely forgot who i ever was or where i have been PM me if you want to know how it goes or just want to keep in contact or have any questions and if you get the time look up the song fuck you lucy by atmosphere. Sorry about the story but its all i have to do with my life atm.

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InvisibletrANce
Male


Registered: 11/20/11
Posts: 6,087
Loc: Florida
Re: HPPD (...another one :/...) [Re: Tarkovsky]
    #16014695 - 03/29/12 04:57 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Tarkovsky said:
Thanks for the responses fellas. Actually, SWIM started on a very low dose of SSRI (lexapro; 5mg) and moved up for about a month to 10 and just the past week and a half or so SWIM moved back down to 5mg. Xanax was never very bad, it was taken once a day for about a month (0.25mg) and then as needed. SWIM hasn't taken one in maybe a month or two.

  SWIM is on a weight loss diet right now, trying to get bf % down to about 9 or 10 so eating relatively healthy. Got a whole vitamin cocktail (400mg magnesium, 1g Vit.C, 3g Fish Oil, Vit.B Complex, MultiVitamin, and nootropics.) Been cutting meat out of diet as much as can for a year or two now as well (once a week maybe).

  Actually, being so inexperienced, SWIM didn't know anything, at all, about HPPD. Didn't know what a research chemical was, nothing. Never really did any psychedelics and didn't have a huge interest in them, but a lot of people close to SWIM kept talking about how amazing LSD was and how it's made them a better/smarter person. In particular, Karry Mullis' good words about LSD is what made SWIM decide he wanted to try psych's. LSD was hard to come around so someone very close to SWIM got hold of 2ci, told him it was basically the same thing except not explicitly illegal. SWIM was going through a very tough time in his life and the idea of having a drug make you a smarter person (Karry Mullis) was extremely appealing to SWIM and he tried it with those hopes.

  Thanks for the words of encouragement and the advice!




where did tarkozsky go?:sad: i want to know how he is doing. yet another person that got fucked up by 2ci. this is atleast the 5th report i have read about 2ci fucking someone up


--------------------

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OfflineMistyMystic
Birdbrain
Male

Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 477
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: HPPD (...another one :/...) [Re: trANce]
    #16016332 - 03/29/12 09:57 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

hey dude, just want to say i love andrei tarkovsky i think he is a genius and makes beautiful films. Also dark and real, which is cool.

My head always feels fucked, so does my lungs , and just about every other organ.

i have mostly stayed away from 2c and i think they are bullshit drugs to begin with.

Sorry someone is feeling this level of pain.

I say get the balls to the wall for a while and see if the mental shit clears up so he can atleast get on with life a little bit.

this must be horrible sorry man :frown:

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