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OfflinegeokillsA
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Discussion on Relationships and their Transformative Potential (YouTube)
    #14384509 - 05/01/11 07:43 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

This video won't be for everyone, and I'm certain a lot of us have already come to the realizations that are
illuminated throughout the presentation (at times, the hard way, I'm sure!).  But since I'm also pretty sure that
people who are confused or struggle in relationships are more likely to frequent this forum, I think this is worth
the while to share.

There is a fair lot of valid truth being spewed, particularly during the latter half of the discussion (3:45+),
that could be of some use to the more novice (and perhaps not so novice) relationship seekers among us.




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OnlineManianFHS
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Re: Discussion on Relationships and their Transformative Potential (YouTube) [Re: geokills]
    #14386964 - 05/02/11 05:54 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

that was an interesting video geo, his ideas took off much better later on. kind of an interesting thought he brushed on about how becoming centered as an individual doesnt necessarily mean you will be centered in a relationship. I think he dismisses the positive aspects of individuality and having a strong sense of self and their effect on the health of a relationship too quickly however.

I've always firmly believed that humans cannot learn to love others in a healthy way until they learn to unconditionally love and accept themselves. I feel like he kind of leaves that out of the equation, or maybe indirectly implies that it is not necessary; I think it is. However I do agree that there paths for growth as an individual, and paths for growth as a couple.

I would certainly back the argument that the most successful relationships are probably those where both partners have strong individual sides as well as while in a relationship, over any other.


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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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OfflinegeokillsA
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Re: Discussion on Relationships and their Transformative Potential (YouTube) [Re: ManianFH]
    #14387338 - 05/02/11 08:14 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

To place the video in context, I believe it was created with the intention of discussing one potential route to embracing or connecting with one's spirituality; with a focus on interpersonal (and specifically intimate) relationships as a tool for the path.  I take this due to the rather juvenile title given by the author, "Quickest & Realest Way to Grow Spiritually".  In fact, this guy has hundreds of similar videos that are in large part meant to augment his online business where he distributes various Chinese herbs.  Clearly, the man fancies himself a bit of a philosopher, and frankly I think he does a pretty decent job of carrying such perspective without too heavy of a bias throughout his discussion.

Thus, while I don't think he was necessarily doggin' on the positive aspects of individuality, I do understand your point and completely agree that an unconditional acceptance of oneself (and with that the resultant self-security) is in most cases a requisite feature of a relationship that aims to be successful and positive for both parties over any appreciable expanse of time.  There are exceptions for some where dependency and domination may be actively sought after, but in my opinion, those relationships are not particularly healthy, even if they may technically work.  Scratch that, maybe they are healthy for the people who willingly choose to engage them, they just wouldn't be healthy for me!

Thanks for the response mick.  I caught this video being watched by a close friend (over their shoulder), and while I normally am rather quick to dismiss what appear to be preachy or self-indulgent You Tube videos, this one held my attention 'til the end.  Perhaps on account of the author's willingness to present his opinions as just that, rather than as absolutes, or the fact that I myself am transitioning out of a long term relationship and the subject matter clearly hits home.  It's probably a bit of both to be sure.


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