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OfflineLennyk
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The bitter debate of sex, adoption and abortion
    #14365645 - 04/28/11 07:50 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Observing nature compared to that of human society brings many interesting observations. One of which is that of the cycle of life itself. Many animals are not advanced enough to have true conscious thought that we do in planning when to mate and such, nor do they fall under the same sort of constraints and laws we are bound to.

Their risk is in the end is death, for long term misery cannot be conscionable. Death, the end result whether they breed or do not, as so too our end.

Evolution has created an animal that not only is fully aware of death, but also is aware of the cycle of life of the rest of nature. We observe animals and insects reproduce as if it were nothing more than a normal occurrence. When we have a child though, there are typically two extremes-the traditional romantic view of life forever changed and happiness forever (such a biased view but alas) and that of the unexpected, the unwanted, the kid that should have never been.

Mother nature is only a neutral force, and is not conscious to create an Eden or a fairytale we see in soap operas. To the objective observer, it all makes sense, but to the moralist or the emotional-great grief should result.

Our separation from nature has led to reality hitting us in the face unexpected and we have no solutions. Humans only can 'know' the answer to something by using previous observation or by making mistakes and remembering it was the wrong approach. We are not blessed with a fully loaded google search from birth. The unknowns of life are shrouded in mystery until we live through it. Emergency rooms, surgery, death, life, car accidents, rape, murder, incarceration, war, famine, disease... everything that we think we 'know' we don't know 'know' because we have no experienced it. We have a false reality of what it could be like, but just as Santa Claus fades, these falsehoods fade as the gavel is struck and you are sentenced for a crime for time unknown.


So true is the imprisonment, a physical and mental one to what we least expect. Every unhappy child I knew that wanted to be a parent, said exactly how they would be a better parent. Their memories do not go far enough back, perhaps chronic sleep deprivation and stress changed their parents from a similar view to one too burned out to remember life was once pleasurable? Many issues that one cannot see for their own eyes, because it was before their life began. They will never have that answer, until they live through it-to gain a vague insight. 

I live in an area with an excessively high teen pregnancy rate, which is probably one of the saddest things I can think of in a nation not characterized with otherwise wide spread issues such as some of the nations in Africa.

I commonly see stubborn parents and their pregnant kids cite some religious reason for not doing the right thing and fixing the mistake. Tragic as it is, objectively it is the right choice, and from a moral perspective-consider this. Even if you give a child up to adoption, or to another mother directly-it doesn't matter how loving and perfect the parents could be at raising the child. The infant can sense it is not their real mother, and perhaps one of the greatest voids begins to grow. No matter how much love you give, a subconscious feeling of abandonment can begin to grow like a tumor. Certainly not always the case, but a case enough to not want to play Russian roulette with someone's life (as they may very well decide to later in life).

The pains of infant abandonment far exceed that of being smacked, or yelled out-and many times the desire to band-aid the gaping wounds of abandonment will lead to risky behavior to be punished for the attention.

Not to sound like a eugenicist or of the sort, but the trend for the attitude among those that live in a cycle of parents having multiple children and really not caring as they should, only serves to repeat the same failure. The humanity in them dies at an early age. Male and female alike feel abandoned, and have no idea of what to feel, for they (and their parents) never felt a proper feeling of not being abandoned.

This cruel twist of fate is ripe for problems. If one is willing to do risky behavior to cut the pain, then naturally lust and such should follow to misguide the two empty souls toward each other. Such a shallow feeling though can sometimes be seen through given enough time, but sadly-mistakes can happen the first time. A perfect storm, a newly pregnant mother again. Her options are few, but worried and anxious because no one ever helped her before, continues the pregnancy and has the child. It really matters not so much, the child is already doomed from the start. The proud hands of a medical professional of 20 years brought the child out and safely into this world, but not life is real. If she is abandoned by family for moral reasons, she is only with the child. She may try, or she may just realize she cannot and give the child up.

Which ever route is taken, a high risk of the child feeling abandoned will result. Read many stories of even positive adoption stories. This empty feeling cannot be replaced once missed as an infant. One, by all odds, is likely to live a life with a void that tears them apart and ruins their chances to success and happiness.

If she tries to raise the child alone, not only could she likely break down, but this is what the child will pick up as the nurture element and will also be quite messed up.

Sure, even the 'perfect' scenarios in normal households can breed rapists and murderers, but that is not the focus of this. 

The overall message I suppose is, even as humans with complex conscious thought, we neglect to realize our impact of our actions. It is more than just us we destroy by our actions, but quite likely can set up generations to come to fail.


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: The bitter debate of sex, adoption and abortion [Re: Lennyk]
    #14365666 - 04/28/11 07:56 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

The pains of infant abandonment far exceed that of being smacked, or yelled out-and many times the desire to band-aid the gaping wounds of abandonment will lead to risky behavior to be punished for the attention.




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InvisibleSillyMe
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Re: The bitter debate of sex, adoption and abortion [Re: Lennyk]
    #14365779 - 04/28/11 08:36 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Lennyk said:
Even if you give a child up to adoption, or to another mother directly-it doesn't matter how loving and perfect the parents could be at raising the child. The infant can sense it is not their real mother, and perhaps one of the greatest voids begins to grow. No matter how much love you give, a subconscious feeling of abandonment can begin to grow like a tumor.

The pains of infant abandonment far exceed that of being smacked, or yelled out-and many times the desire to band-aid the gaping wounds of abandonment will lead to risky behavior to be punished for the attention.

Male and female alike feel abandoned, and have no idea of what to feel, for they (and their parents) never felt a proper feeling of not being abandoned.

Which ever route is taken, a high risk of the child feeling abandoned will result. Read many stories of even positive adoption stories. This empty feeling cannot be replaced once missed as an infant. One, by all odds, is likely to live a life with a void that tears them apart and ruins their chances to success and happiness.






Rarely is what you wrote above acknowledged by society. I have lived it. it is my truth.  Thank you for posting this.


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