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OfflineNothingIsReal
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Registered: 03/09/08
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Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst?
    #14355692 - 04/26/11 03:00 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I use to be real big into acid and mushrooms and all about the experience and really felt like i was learning alot, completely comfortable on high doses.

Then.....

I had some real bad shit happen in my life, while i was in the begginning stages of trying opaites, fast forward and i've been addicted for 2 almost 3 years, and before i recently got clean, was using IV heroin daily.

Ever since i got clean about a month ago, i've felt like i have completely rediscovered myself and the way i was before i started using, and feel like i've litterally woken up from a 3 year dream because i wasnt myself at all. Only, i woke up and found out i ruined almost every relationship i had wilst dreaming.

Anyway, i really want to take some acid maybe this weekend, because of how i use to use it, i feel i will benefit from the experience greatly. Could i just be kidding myself tho, maybe rushing into it. I feel very happy with my life right now because im clean and feel alive again, but i cant discount the fact of how very much i have screwed up my life over the last few years.

I dont really know the point of this, but id just like to get some peoples thoughts about this. I remember before i started using and was an active member here and exploring psychedelics when i felt even a bit uncomfortable about something, id post about it.

Keep in mind i really have no one to do it with right now, if i had my old good friends i use to trip with i know they could guide me if things went wrong. I dont know how much confidence i have in myself right now with getting myself out of a hole. Which is so weird to me because i use to be so comfortable and confindent and accepting of my trips, i couldnt imagine a time where i wouldnt be.


Edited by NothingIsReal (04/26/11 03:08 PM)


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InvisibleSynth Ethics
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Registered: 05/18/09
Posts: 5,525
Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: NothingIsReal]
    #14355715 - 04/26/11 03:05 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I'd say wait a little, one clean month is alot and nothing at the same time. you have doubt, wait till they're cleared off.

just my opinion and I hope others will give you theirs.

Peace.


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OfflineAser
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Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: Synth Ethics]
    #14355733 - 04/26/11 03:09 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

You could always start out with a smaller dose if you are apprehensive.


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InvisibleBlindtheeye
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Registered: 10/03/10
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Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: Synth Ethics]
    #14355771 - 04/26/11 03:16 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

You sound much like a friend I have.  For him it was a slippery slope right back into addiction.  It just takes that one little trigger to send you back down the dark road.  So considering the seed of doubt is present in your mind I would keep to the strait and narrow.


--------------------
A great truth cannot be communicated, it must be realized.


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OfflineSoluminia
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Registered: 03/18/11
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Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: Aser]
    #14355779 - 04/26/11 03:18 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I think you should wait a bit till you are more comfortable with what you did for those almost 3 years


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OfflineNothingIsReal
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Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: Blindtheeye]
    #14355832 - 04/26/11 03:27 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Blindtheeye said:
You sound much like a friend I have.  For him it was a slippery slope right back into addiction. 




Do you mind expanding on that at all? I can make sense of it to a degree, but his actual experience interests me


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InvisibleBlindtheeye
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Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: NothingIsReal]
    #14355864 - 04/26/11 03:34 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

He went in to a deep addiction to hairon which he felt the need to keep secret from all of his friends and girlfriend.  Me and a close friend confronted him about it which he of course got defensive and blew up at us but we stayed strong and told him look we know whats up and were not ok with whats been happening lately.

Well after about a month he started to improve physically and mentally.  He later said it was that talk that snapped hi out of his daze. Well sure enough a little while after that he got a hold of some 4-aco-dmt  which alone in itself is fine IMO.  But after that he started in with ketamine, then molly then pills again and finally he's back on the heroin and worse then ever. 

None of us have talked to him in months every attempt to reach him is ignored and I honestly dont know if he's even alive right now.

We've all known this kid forever in my group of friends.  We all grew up together.  It's sad to see it happen.  I mean we've ALL had our problems but IDK if this ones going to have a happy ending.


--------------------
A great truth cannot be communicated, it must be realized.


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OfflineNothingIsReal
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Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: NothingIsReal]
    #14355865 - 04/26/11 03:35 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

One of the main reasons i came and posted this, by the way, is i feel like I am at a turning point and this type of experience and time to look at my life for where i am at and where i want to go but also where i've been and how to change for the better and could help push me in the right direction. Improving my chances of staying clean. I honestly believe in these drugs strongly. I havnt't thought about them in so long that i think doubt may be the wrong word, id call it more fear. A similar fear i felt when i first started tripping. Infact, my first trip was fucking hell, the only real "bad trip" i've ever had, but it was hands down the best trip in what it did for my life.

Something in me knows or atleast really believes i need this, but im experiencing fear about it. A decent amount and its just making me think maybe im making another mistake like i've been doing for along time


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OfflineNothingIsReal
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Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: Blindtheeye]
    #14355873 - 04/26/11 03:37 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Blindtheeye said:
He went in to a deep addiction to hairon which he felt the need to keep secret from all of his friends and girlfriend.  Me and a close friend confronted him about it which he of course got defensive and blew up at us but we stayed strong and told him look we know whats up and were not ok with whats been happening lately.

Well after about a month he started to improve physically and mentally.  He later said it was that talk that snapped hi out of his daze. Well sure enough a little while after that he got a hold of some 4-aco-dmt  which alone in itself is fine IMO.  But after that he started in with ketamine, then molly then pills again and finally he's back on the heroin and worse then ever. 

None of us have talked to him in months every attempt to reach him is ignored and I honestly dont know if he's even alive right now.

We've all known this kid forever in my group of friends.  We all grew up together.  It's sad to see it happen.  I mean we've ALL had our problems but IDK if this ones going to have a happy ending.




wow thank you for posting that. Half way through reading that i had to check your location because i thought one of my old friends had found this site lol


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InvisibleSynth Ethics
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Registered: 05/18/09
Posts: 5,525
Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: NothingIsReal]
    #14355898 - 04/26/11 03:44 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Blindtheeye said:
He went in to a deep addiction to hairon which he felt the need to keep secret from all of his friends and girlfriend.  Me and a close friend confronted him about it which he of course got defensive and blew up at us but we stayed strong and told him look we know whats up and were not ok with whats been happening lately.





you are good people man,
Quote:


NothingIsReal said:
Something in me knows or atleast really believes i need this, but im experiencing fear about it. A decent amount and its just making me think maybe im making another mistake like i've been doing for along time




this is doubt man


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Offlineabica
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Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: Synth Ethics]
    #14355994 - 04/26/11 04:00 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

So...do you or could you consider LSD an intoxicant...or a teacher / ally?

Or rather, how did you feel about acid back in the day?  How often did you trip?  Was it at parties, or on friday nights with friends just for shits n grins?  Did any drug abuse symptoms show themselves with acid?

You say you were "big into acid and mushrooms" so I'd worry it was more partying than exploration, even if some exploration went on during the partying.

Of course, another reason people use drugs, and sometimes psychedelic drugs, is escape from reality...everyone's favorite use for opiates.  I'd be hesitant about dabbling in that behavior pattern.

No easy answer eh? 

Perfect thing would be to have some acid or shrooms with some buddies (that would give you space and support as necessary) out in the woods.  Some fun, some introspection, and closing a few chapters in life all rolled up into one weekend?


--------------------
My first poo tub




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OfflineNothingIsReal
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Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: abica]
    #14356061 - 04/26/11 04:15 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

abica said:
So...do you or could you consider LSD an intoxicant...or a teacher / ally?

Or rather, how did you feel about acid back in the day?  How often did you trip?  Was it at parties, or on friday nights with friends just for shits n grins?  Did any drug abuse symptoms show themselves with acid?

You say you were "big into acid and mushrooms" so I'd worry it was more partying than exploration, even if some exploration went on during the partying.

Of course, another reason people use drugs, and sometimes psychedelic drugs, is escape from reality...everyone's favorite use for opiates.  I'd be hesitant about dabbling in that behavior pattern.

No easy answer eh? 

Perfect thing would be to have some acid or shrooms with some buddies (that would give you space and support as necessary) out in the woods.  Some fun, some introspection, and closing a few chapters in life all rolled up into one weekend?




I thought of and really believed it was a teacher, and still do. I've spend 100X the hours i've spent tripping, thinking about my trips. I would trip maybe 2 times a month. Its interesting to, i use to always see most people go away from tripping when things were going bad. As where i have always used it when in dark times to look at my life and what was going on to keep it going in the right direction. However, through my addiction, i lost touch with acid completely.
I've eaten probably around 300ish hits through my life, from one to about twenty.

And if i had the friends i had before, or any friends for that matter that i knew cared about me, id not hesitate to trip at all. Im just worried about being by myself. I use to be comfortable with pulling myself out when things were turning bad, im just not now for some reason. That is where all of my i admit "doubt" is coming from. Its a matter of trusting im strong enough to be my own guide right now


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Offlinek00laid
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Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: NothingIsReal]
    #14356594 - 04/26/11 05:42 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

ive never tried acid.

but i would not hesitate to eat a large dose of mushrooms in your situation.

it depends on your relationship with the drug.


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Offlineabica
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Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: NothingIsReal]
    #14360316 - 04/27/11 09:56 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

NothingIsReal said:
I thought of and really believed it was a teacher, and still do. I've spend 100X the hours i've spent tripping, thinking about my trips. I would trip maybe 2 times a month. Its interesting to, i use to always see most people go away from tripping when things were going bad. As where i have always used it when in dark times to look at my life and what was going on to keep it going in the right direction. However, through my addiction, i lost touch with acid completely.
I've eaten probably around 300ish hits through my life, from one to about twenty.

And if i had the friends i had before, or any friends for that matter that i knew cared about me, id not hesitate to trip at all. Im just worried about being by myself. I use to be comfortable with pulling myself out when things were turning bad, im just not now for some reason. That is where all of my i admit "doubt" is coming from. Its a matter of trusting im strong enough to be my own guide right now





Huh.  I can kind of relate, although I've never been through a "real" opiate addiction, and I don't "really" have an addictive personality.

I have been in bed with opiates enough that when I knew I needed to quit, I was sick for a week and horribly horribly depressed for a month or two after.  And I am close enough to an addictive personality that I smoke way too much and get kind of wigged out when I don't have buds, but not so close to that personality that I get out of control.

Opiates showed me things about drugs, brains, and control (from both the drugs and the mind).  Cigs too, but the difference was that while I went nuts quitting cigs at one time, I felt wonderful afterwords.  Quitting opiates and sniffin' H- just felt more hollow than I knew a person could feel afterwords, and still get a tinge of it now and again.  And that wasn't even really a "proper" addiction!  Yikes!

Me plus acid- I've done a lot of solo tripping, and I, too, have used it in quite dark times in my life.  Some people would call those trips bad ones...but I don't see them that way.  Difficult, yes, but not classic "bad trips."  Maybe it just takes a hell of a lot to scare people who are predisposed to trip in a bad place in their life. 

OK, all that background is for a reason. 

I think I kind of know where you're coming from as far as your relationship with acid.  And also opiates- H is for "making it all go away" which it does too well.  The only thing the two have in common is that they're both psychoactive substances.

Do you know you are not going to start abusing LSD?  If so, a solo trip might help you go through the mess on your mental desk and file some stuff away.  It might be a horrible experience, but if you've been there and done that, you know what to expect, and you know you don't have to do anything stupid while you're tripping because it will end after several hours.  Just remember that the chemical will probably beat you over the head with a few blunt objects it finds laying around in your mind.

Good luck!  Just don't go off the deep end and start gobbling acid all the time.  That sort of behavior isn't healthy and distracts you from life.  Psychedelics are one of the spices of life, nothing more.


--------------------
My first poo tub




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Offlineabica
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Re: feel likes like the perfect time for a trip but possibly the worst? [Re: abica]
    #14360333 - 04/27/11 09:59 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

NothingIsReal said:
I thought of and really believed it was a teacher, and still do. I've spend 100X the hours i've spent tripping, thinking about my trips. I would trip maybe 2 times a month. Its interesting to, i use to always see most people go away from tripping when things were going bad. As where i have always used it when in dark times to look at my life and what was going on to keep it going in the right direction. However, through my addiction, i lost touch with acid completely.
I've eaten probably around 300ish hits through my life, from one to about twenty.

And if i had the friends i had before, or any friends for that matter that i knew cared about me, id not hesitate to trip at all. Im just worried about being by myself. I use to be comfortable with pulling myself out when things were turning bad, im just not now for some reason. That is where all of my i admit "doubt" is coming from. Its a matter of trusting im strong enough to be my own guide right now





Huh.  I can kind of relate, although I've never been through a "real" opiate addiction, and I don't "really" have an addictive personality.

I have been in bed with opiates enough that when I knew I needed to quit, I was sick for a week and horribly horribly depressed for a month or two after.  And I am close enough to an addictive personality that I smoke way too much and get kind of wigged out when I don't have buds, but not so close to that personality that I get out of control.

Opiates showed me things about drugs, brains, and control (from both the drugs and the mind).  Cigs too, but the difference was that while I went nuts quitting cigs at one time, I felt wonderful afterwords.  Quitting opiates and sniffin' H- just felt more hollow than I knew a person could feel afterwords, and still get a tinge of it now and again.  And that wasn't even really a "proper" addiction!  Yikes!

Me plus acid- I've done a lot of solo tripping, and I, too, have used it in quite dark times in my life.  Some people would call those trips bad ones...but I don't see them that way.  Difficult, yes, but not classic "bad trips."  Maybe it just takes a hell of a lot to scare people who are predisposed to trip in a bad place in their life. 

OK, all that background is for a reason. 

I think I kind of know where you're coming from as far as your relationship with acid.  And also opiates- H is for "making it all go away" which it does too well.  The only thing the two have in common is that they're both psychoactive substances.

Do you know you are not going to start abusing LSD?  If so, a solo trip might help you go through the mess on your mental desk and file some stuff away.  It might be a horrible experience, but if you've been there and done that, you know what to expect, and you know you don't have to do anything stupid while you're tripping because it will end after several hours.  Just remember that the chemical will probably beat you over the head with a few blunt objects it finds laying around in your mind.

Good luck!  Just don't go off the deep end and start gobbling acid all the time.  That sort of behavior isn't healthy and distracts you from life.  Psychedelics are one of the spices of life, nothing more.


PS...you know...mushrooms really do seem to be a more "theraputic" psychedelic than acid, in my opinion.  Any reason you're not considering that route?


--------------------
My first poo tub




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