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clemens
Lover



Registered: 10/22/06
Posts: 4,303
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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i need people to talk to
#14335862 - 04/22/11 10:36 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Check out my post in ODD
One of my blood brothers was arrested for heroin. He is doing time 4 sure.
I say blood brother cause we shared needles.
I have been clean since april 1st but wtf has life thrown me. I get clean and one of my brothers goes to jail. This seriously sucks and i feel like i am to blame. I wasnt there but i got him on smack. I showed him how to shoot up. I feel like i killed him.
Please someone tell me something. I have been turrning around my life on my own. I am actually clean and its a fucking miracle. I even feel blessed because acid has helped me wake up from my drug nightmare. And life throws me some seriously emotionally horrifying shit.
I am alone, and i wish i was in jail with henry.
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 Take it easy dude, but take it!
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14335877 - 04/22/11 10:38 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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The only thing worse than a heroin addict is a recovering heroin addict... just shoot up, you know you want to.
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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4HO-DMT


Registered: 01/11/11
Posts: 5,073
Loc: County Line Road
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14335889 - 04/22/11 10:40 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Don't feel so bad. Maybe he will clean up in jail. He made the decision to slam it. You didn't force him to do it.
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Sleepwalker
Overshoes


Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 5,503
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14335894 - 04/22/11 10:40 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Life is a cascade of dominoes, the blame doesn't lie with you any more than it lies with whoever got YOU into that stuff in the first place. You see? Shitty stuff just happens. It's great that you're clean, don't let this bump you back. and certainly stay of jail yourself if possible.
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InsertName
Stranger


Registered: 04/17/11
Posts: 38
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14335986 - 04/22/11 10:59 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Man thats like really bad news, im sorry to hear that.
I was engaged to cocaine years ago, also tried heroin a couple of times, man those things almost end with me :S thank god a friend of mine gave me some Salvia Divinorum and bam! my addiction was all gone, it was amazing.
Well what can i say? i also landed in jail, and trust me it really really really SUCKS.
If i where you, i would recommend only one thing: stay out of prision!
Think about it: You are more useful outside than inside, just visit him, its awesome to see your REAL friends visit you from time to time
after all, this can help him to stay clean and take some time to be in shape.... but:
Still i think the best for him is also to fight for getting the hell out of there.
Well thats what i would do.
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clemens
Lover



Registered: 10/22/06
Posts: 4,303
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: Sprezzatura]
#14336003 - 04/22/11 11:01 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said: The only thing worse than a heroin addict is a recovering heroin addict... just shoot up, you know you want to.
I seriously hope you realize whatever fucking sickness you have and start the healing. I am thankful my sickness came to me in the form of a disease that has treatment. I can recover and come to be closer to my higher power because my recovery was life or death for me and my sickness was clear as day, drug addiction. So i am now on the journey of healing and it is the most amazing thing ever.
Everyone is just as sick as everyone else. We all have egos that are feeding themselves. It could be heroin like me or it could be posting a fucking stupid post on my topic when i am seriously asking for help like you. but i forgive you cause we are all sick.
Please everyone, take mushrooms and smoke DMT. The only advice i have right now
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 Take it easy dude, but take it!
Edited by Kid_Orgo (04/23/11 09:31 AM)
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sjfrockerdude
Dead Inside




Registered: 04/12/11
Posts: 82
Loc: Hell
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14336015 - 04/22/11 11:03 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Man, I'm sorry to hear that about your friend. I'm sure you will be able to make it through this stuff, you have a long life ahead of you, no point in letting something like this ruin it for you.
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"It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied. Better to be Socrates dissatisfied then a fool satisfied. And if the fool or the pig are of different opinion, it is because they only know their side of the question." John Stuart Mill
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4runner


Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,406
Loc: State of Jefferson
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: Sprezzatura]
#14336024 - 04/22/11 11:04 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said: The only thing worse than a heroin addict is a recovering heroin addict... just shoot up, you know you want to.
 Hope you know something I don't.....
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14336025 - 04/22/11 11:04 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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really? your going to use your friend going to jail to write this post?
shit man. youve been clean for 3 weeks now, dont fuck it up... you didnt put a gun to his head and make him hit the plunger.
comeon man.. you can do better.
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clemens
Lover



Registered: 10/22/06
Posts: 4,303
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: rackem]
#14336110 - 04/22/11 11:18 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Im not going to use i just needed some people to put in some.insight. i have never lost such a close friend. I know people who have ODed and i have know a girl who shot up while pregnant but this man was my brother and i am just so upset. I wish i could switch places with him.
I am not going to use tho, i took my suboxone today and i went to an NA meeting.
One hour at a time i am not going to fail myself. I have shit i want and i cant have any of it shooting up heroin,crack or meth.
Dont worry, no matter what i dont have to use anymore. I just really want to. But my craving is going away
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 Take it easy dude, but take it!
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14336122 - 04/22/11 11:20 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Sorry man, I guess I shouldn't have been so abrasive... I've had bad experiences with several heroin addicts, and something I always had to deal with was this 'touching' and 'heart-felt' "I'm clean now" bullshit which always resulted in relapse and eventual full blown habit again. My friends who had habits were always 'Clean' for 2 weeks and expecting everyone to be all solemn and respectful while we hung by a thread waiting for it to snap and have them go back into a heroin induced stupor again. I watched one friend die and one lose all of his teeth... both very close to me... extremely difficult time in my life... my emotions and sympathy I once had for people suffering from heroin addiction has been transformed, through adversity, into disgust and bitter hatred.
I'm an alcoholic, so I should have more sympathy to people with addictions, but sometimes your disdain reflexes reacts quicker than your reason and logic reflexes.
So, don't read too much into that first post though... I responded out of that natural reaction I have now towards the issue and I apologize for saying that and wish you the best of luck in your efforts to improve your life and stay alive.
Cheers man.
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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dshow
Nomad



Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: Sprezzatura]
#14336157 - 04/22/11 11:26 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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im too an alcoholic. I dont think the drug really matters. Its the addiction to that drug. Keep it away. stay clean. find other things to do.
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clemens
Lover



Registered: 10/22/06
Posts: 4,303
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: Sprezzatura]
#14336173 - 04/22/11 11:32 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said: Sorry man, I guess I shouldn't have been so abrasive... I've had bad experiences with several heroin addicts, and something I always had to deal with was this 'touching' and 'heart-felt' "I'm clean now" bullshit which always resulted in relapse and eventual full blown habit again. My friends who had habits were always 'Clean' for 2 weeks and expecting everyone to be all solemn and respectful while we hung by a thread waiting for it to snap and have them go back into a heroin induced stupor again. I watched one friend die and one lose all of his teeth... both very close to me... extremely difficult time in my life... my emotions and sympathy I once had for people suffering from heroin addiction has been transformed, through adversity, into disgust and bitter hatred.
I'm an alcoholic, so I should have more sympathy to people with addictions, but sometimes your disdain reflexes reacts quicker than your reason and logic reflexes.
So, don't read too much into that first post though... I responded out of that natural reaction I have now towards the issue and I apologize for saying that and wish you the best of luck in your efforts to improve your life and stay alive.
Cheers man.
Thanks man i left you a bad raiting but i will fix that. You did really set me off tho. Im striving so hard to hold myself together and i am now sorry i snapped on you. Let me fix that raiting.
Much love man and i am sorry heroin has taken people from you as well. This life is out of my control and the best thing we can do is accept and not react.
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 Take it easy dude, but take it!
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cacharstar
Strange is good...


Registered: 11/13/08
Posts: 4,014
Loc: The West Coast
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14336209 - 04/22/11 11:42 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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hang in there. I'll have a year real soon. It might be the best thing for your buddy to be in jail. does your area provide methadone to inmates?
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clemens
Lover



Registered: 10/22/06
Posts: 4,303
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: cacharstar]
#14336253 - 04/22/11 11:58 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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He wasnt perscribed methadone before he was arrested but he was perscribed xanax. Think he will get the xanax? How do i find out if they will give him methadone? He will need it too
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 Take it easy dude, but take it!
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14336257 - 04/22/11 11:59 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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research it via google.
it varies from state to state
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candyaddict
absentee

Registered: 01/20/03
Posts: 1,413
Loc: t-rot
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14336270 - 04/23/11 12:02 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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why can't I pm you?
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i95fl
DĄŃC€444LYYF€



Registered: 11/28/08
Posts: 2,271
Loc: RIØ D€JAN€IRO
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14336271 - 04/23/11 12:03 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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hey clemens i feel for you man.
i personally haven't been through addiction with one drug, but with all drugs.
xanax/adderall rc's/yayo/blues/wafers etc.. southflorida talk
i was an addict to all drugs. then i quit recently everything, prescriptions were worthless and fucked me up for the worse. had a month 1/2 sobriety and still feel golden lol
i've taken shrooms like a champ in the 2 years or so. could you give me some insight as to how i would like DMT rather than shrooms?
feel better brotha, keep eating mush keep your veins live and willing to breath for once
-------------------- "You can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug, especially when its waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye." "Bill Clinton does not inhale marijuana, right? You bet. Like I chew on LSD but I don't swallow it." "America should start a war on education, if its anywhere as successful as the war on drugs, everyone would be hooked on phonics."
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clemens
Lover



Registered: 10/22/06
Posts: 4,303
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: i95fl]
#14336343 - 04/23/11 12:19 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I am a firm believer in Terence Mckennas idea of five grams of mushrooms in total darkness and it is the most similar experience i have had to smoking DMT.
AND candyaddict i lost pm privilages cause i was pming about rc vendors or something. Long time ago. I miss being able to pm. I dont even have a PC im using my phone right now. Crack is a hell of a drug
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 Take it easy dude, but take it!
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candyaddict
absentee

Registered: 01/20/03
Posts: 1,413
Loc: t-rot
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14336359 - 04/23/11 12:23 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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bahhhhh. that sucks
I'll email you then, no worries. or is emailing okay right now?
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clemens
Lover



Registered: 10/22/06
Posts: 4,303
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: candyaddict]
#14336382 - 04/23/11 12:26 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Email is fine clemens123456@hotmail.com
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 Take it easy dude, but take it!
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candyaddict
absentee

Registered: 01/20/03
Posts: 1,413
Loc: t-rot
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: clemens]
#14336405 - 04/23/11 12:31 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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sent
be well.
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KillerPicklez



Registered: 12/13/07
Posts: 16,920
Loc:
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Re: i need people to talk to [Re: cacharstar]
#14336660 - 04/23/11 01:20 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
cacharstar said: hang in there. I'll have a year real soon. It might be the best thing for your buddy to be in jail. does your area provide methadone to inmates?
If you are trying to kick heroin, the last thing you want to do is start a methadone maintenance plan. You will end up addicted to that too. And w/d's from that are wayyy worse than from heroin.
Yeah, that's how I tried to put a positive spin on being in/ going back to jail. It's like, ill be forced to be sober for at least a month. I get out and can piss clean for any job that I need.
Court system sucks. I have court at least 5 times before going back in, so that will be a constant reminder of what is coming up. I had a failure to appear on a violating a court order of protection which should get squashed. The judge will read the text message and realize it was the most petty shit at all for her to call the police over.
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