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noticeofeviction
Roller


Registered: 02/06/10
Posts: 2,391
Loc: 818
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
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Loving, breaking up, and then not being able to love
#14330928 - 04/21/11 11:49 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Who's experienced this? I'm currently experiencing this and I don't know how to get out of this fucking cycle . I fell in love once and we broke up years ago and ever since, I just can't be into any girl. I've passed on a couple of great chicks and I feel stupid because they were GREAT girls. But I can't help it, and it's always the same cycle: We start off wonderfully, I'm into them and have that great feeling in your heart when you like a girl, but it slowly subsides... and I start feeling a void. I feel like that liking was just me trying to convince myself that I like them when I don't. Something missing, every time. And eventually I just come to terms with the fact that I don't really like them, and don't have any invested emotion into the relationship.
And now I'm getting close to a chick and the same cycle is starting. I tell myself I'm into it and a part of me believes that I am, but there's always something missing. This time around the girl's personality is truly great but physically she's not as good as this ex of mine... I can't help but compare in my head, or something...
Anyone on my boat? This shit sucks, truly.
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Azure Essence


Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 8,272
Loc:
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Loving, breaking up, and then not being able to love [Re: noticeofeviction]
#14330950 - 04/21/11 11:53 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Maybe you arent fulfilled personally.
If you're getting into a relationship to fill a void thats already there, it's doomed to fail.
Fill the voids without other people, then being with someone is easy
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mentalIMAGE
21st Century Schizoid Man



Registered: 04/29/06
Posts: 836
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: Loving, breaking up, and then not being able to love [Re: noticeofeviction]
#14330959 - 04/21/11 11:54 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I'm with ya, bro. It's been over a year and I can't even seem to land a date.. my confidence has just plummeted recently.
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We are always acting on what has just finished happening. It happened at least 1/30th of a second ago. We think we're in the present, but we aren't. The present we know is only a movie of the past. Ken Kesey
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InvaderShroom
Ganja;)



Registered: 03/09/11
Posts: 377
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
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Re: Loving, breaking up, and then not being able to love [Re: noticeofeviction]
#14330969 - 04/21/11 11:56 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
noticeofeviction said: Who's experienced this? I'm currently experiencing this and I don't know how to get out of this fucking cycle . I fell in love once and we broke up years ago and ever since, I just can't be into any girl. I've passed on a couple of great chicks and I feel stupid because they were GREAT girls. But I can't help it, and it's always the same cycle: We start off wonderfully, I'm into them and have that great feeling in your heart when you like a girl, but it slowly subsides... and I start feeling a void. I feel like that liking was just me trying to convince myself that I like them when I don't. Something missing, every time. And eventually I just come to terms with the fact that I don't really like them, and don't have any invested emotion into the relationship.
And now I'm getting close to a chick and the same cycle is starting. I tell myself I'm into it and a part of me believes that I am, but there's always something missing. This time around the girl's personality is truly great but physically she's not as good as this ex of mine... I can't help but compare in my head, or something...
Anyone on my boat? This shit sucks, truly.
yup yup. only thing u can do is realize that nobody is perfect. you'll know when you're suppose to be with someone when no matter what makes them less than your ex, you still look at only the pros and reasons you're together. u have to stop living in the past. ya know?
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noticeofeviction
Roller


Registered: 02/06/10
Posts: 2,391
Loc: 818
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
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Re: Loving, breaking up, and then not being able to love [Re: InvaderShroom]
#14330985 - 04/21/11 11:58 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
InvaderShroom said: yup yup. only thing u can do is realize that nobody is perfect. you'll know when you're suppose to be with someone when no matter what makes them less than your ex, you still look at only the pros and reasons you're together. u have to stop living in the past. ya know?
I can't seem to do that with anyone though. I hate to admit that they pale in comparison? But that's kind of how it is... Really wish I could commit to this girl and just be with her 
She's an amazing person who I know is good for me, too. She's really great, just physically she's not as attractive and that alone is holding me back and I hate it.
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InvaderShroom
Ganja;)



Registered: 03/09/11
Posts: 377
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
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Re: Loving, breaking up, and then not being able to love [Re: noticeofeviction]
#14331019 - 04/22/11 12:05 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
noticeofeviction said:
Quote:
InvaderShroom said: yup yup. only thing u can do is realize that nobody is perfect. you'll know when you're suppose to be with someone when no matter what makes them less than your ex, you still look at only the pros and reasons you're together. u have to stop living in the past. ya know?
I can't seem to do that with anyone though. I hate to admit that they pale in comparison? But that's kind of how it is... Really wish I could commit to this girl and just be with her 
She's an amazing person who I know is good for me, too. She's really great, just physically she's not as attractive and that alone is holding me back and I hate it.
you're in a pickle man. see some people would say dont judge a book by its cover but we're human and not looking fo a fucking book. this is all on you. you can have 20 people on here say stay with her and another 5 say leave her but if you stay with her because it was unanimous, then thats not YOU making that decision. we dont have to live with the decision you make. you do
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Big Worm
Perf



Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 7,642
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: Loving, breaking up, and then not being able to love [Re: InvaderShroom]
#14331036 - 04/22/11 12:10 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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i'm in the same position. My ex girlfriend and I broke up a couple years ago, and just like you said, ever since I can't develop feelings for anyone. It's like i'm putting up a shield but I can't seem to control it.
I used to start liking people and having crushes, but now......nada.
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InvaderShroom
Ganja;)



Registered: 03/09/11
Posts: 377
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
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Re: Loving, breaking up, and then not being able to love [Re: Big Worm]
#14331058 - 04/22/11 12:15 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Big Worm said: i'm in the same position. My ex girlfriend and I broke up a couple years ago, and just like you said, ever since I can't develop feelings for anyone. It's like i'm putting up a shield but I can't seem to control it.
I used to start liking people and having crushes, but now......nada.
I feel ya. but i think your problem is you're BIG WORM!! haha just kidding. but ya im pretty much in the same position. im actually talking to the girl that put me in this predicament...
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Big Worm
Perf



Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 7,642
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: Loving, breaking up, and then not being able to love [Re: InvaderShroom]
#14331093 - 04/22/11 12:22 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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haaaaaaahaha
Yea i tried talking to her, but I came on too mushy and desperate, thus the fail.
Then she broke up with her boyfriend and then came to my house because she knew my mom and was going to go out with her, and I knew she was coming, but I for some reason didn't drop the girl off that I was hanging out with before she came over, so I walk out on the porch and there she is, and then she see's the girl I was with walk out behind me. 
She was my first love, but I denied it the whole time I was with her, and I didn't realize how much I was into her until we weren't together anymore.
edit: she must have put a spell on me, because i've been fucked up since.
Edited by Big Worm (04/22/11 12:22 AM)
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pouihi
Mary Jane Doe



Registered: 01/04/11
Posts: 2,384
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: Loving, breaking up, and then not being able to love [Re: noticeofeviction]
#14331951 - 04/22/11 06:48 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
noticeofeviction said: Who's experienced this? I'm currently experiencing this and I don't know how to get out of this fucking cycle . I fell in love once and we broke up years ago and ever since, I just can't be into any girl. I've passed on a couple of great chicks and I feel stupid because they were GREAT girls. But I can't help it, and it's always the same cycle: We start off wonderfully, I'm into them and have that great feeling in your heart when you like a girl, but it slowly subsides... and I start feeling a void. I feel like that liking was just me trying to convince myself that I like them when I don't. Something missing, every time. And eventually I just come to terms with the fact that I don't really like them, and don't have any invested emotion into the relationship.
And now I'm getting close to a chick and the same cycle is starting. I tell myself I'm into it and a part of me believes that I am, but there's always something missing. This time around the girl's personality is truly great but physically she's not as good as this ex of mine... I can't help but compare in my head, or something...
Anyone on my boat? This shit sucks, truly.
I've been through that after a really fucked up relationship where I ended up getting hurt.
For some years I just didn't want do get involved with anyone in a deeper level, and I have to say that looking back I don't regret any of it, I wasn't ready/available to develop those kind of feelings for another, eventually that stops with time, I met someone with whom I feel great and things just happened.
Although I think that isn't something you should rationalize much, because if you start thinking too much about how you're gonna fuck it up you're gonna end up not feeling good in the relationship, things get weird.
If you value the person you're with now, and you'd like to get to know them better, try taking things easy for start, don't begin by assuming any type of compromise if that idea might be frightening, explain it to her and take it easy, with no pressures, if things go smoothly everything should work out fine.
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"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite."
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