I've tripped about 40-something times on LSD. I can really handle and enjoy a good acid trip, regardless of the intensity. It just seems I'm able to keep my wits about me no matter how tripped out I am. Shrooms, however, are a different story. I've only done them a handful of times, and most of my shroom trips haven't been great... Simply because I seem to have bad trips very easily with shrooms... And even if not, I rarely find the experience to be very enjoyable. That is... Up until yesterday. This is what I wrote as I was coming down from the trip, in my notebook -
Today, I went for a hike. I took shrooms (it was actually 4aco, I don't know how much I took but it looked to me like the equivalent of at least 1/4 if not more) and was feeling the initial trip toward the end but assumed it wouldn't get any more intense than that. I saw some cool things on the way, I wished I had my camera. When I got home... I started to write about the hike when I could tell the trip was intensifying beyond my control. Before I knew it, I couldn't grasp what was happening and knew the trip would just have to run it's course... So to relax and stall time until it was a little less intense, I took a bath. I went into that bath a person whom I wasn't when I emerged. I literally felt like an infant again, all insecure and small and vulnerable.. I just tried to curl into a ball until it ended. I started to confront the problems of my life... But none of it mattered... I just wanted to escape the womb I felt like I was in. I said to myself, "It's like I've been asleep all this time... And I'm finally awake." I knew, without a doubt, I was being reborn. Reborn into the best possible version of myself, ever. None of these petty things mattered... In the sense that they would not hold me back from achieving my goals. I feel happy to be alive, and awake, more than ever. Now, it's up to me to fulfill my own destiny. I was a phoenix and fallen angel, and from those ashes arose something new and wonderful.
Now I've obviously had my fair share of trip experiences, and the reason I've taken acid so many times is precisely for this reason. Which each trip I gained another piece to the puzzle of life, and came to incredible realizations... But still didn't know how to make use of what I learned. Satori. I was given the tools, but only now know how to use them. I tripped on this particular day just to soothe my own nerves, just to have that enlightened clarity I so longed for... I missed tripping, to say the least. I was in no way prepared from what came out of that trip. I was reborn, my spirit awakened. I no longer feel the pains of lifelong suffering I've endured, all of the little insignificant problems that drove me into a depression became exactly that - Insignificant. I wish I could describe all the thoughts that went through my mind at the time, but it's totally indescribable. I'm just happy I finally got to experience something like this... And i don't even feel the need to trip anymore. Or do any drugs for that matter, although they're fun, (and I do luuuuuuv my weed) one of the conclusions I came to yesterday was that I didn't need to alter my mindset to be happy. In fact it would only set me back. After the trip I went out and drove around town all day, going to shopping centers and applying for jobs (another realization i had, was that i needed to get off my stony ass and find work) It was a crazy day. Truly life-changing. ALthough i am the same person inside, I really do feel "awake". Like I said, as if I'd been sleeping my entire life away up until now. I have reached Nirvana, in my opinion. When you feel it, you know it for sure. I guess shrooms aren't so bad after all. But the craziness of the trip also reminds me of why I tried to avoid them all this time, lol.;-; Anyway, that's my experience. Just thought I'd share. Good day~
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