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Notid
Psychonaut

Registered: 06/17/10
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advice for a depressed college guy
#14330101 - 04/21/11 09:08 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Edited by Notid (03/16/13 04:01 PM)
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PeterGriffin467
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Re: advice for a depressed college guy [Re: Notid]
#14330142 - 04/21/11 09:17 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I know how you feel, I thought having a GF would help me too and then I found this girl that I thought I liked, we ended up hanging out together a few times, then I had sex with her and now I have come to the conclusion that she is a shitty fucking person and want nothing to do with her and Im even more depressed. Im starting to think I will never find a girl who is someone I could actualy care about or that cares about me (I know they are out there but I can never seem to find em, always some materialistic bitch that puts on a front and then I get to know her and find out I hate her)
-------------------- "I just need to check inside ya asshole SIR.... Asshole clear!"
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waves


Registered: 04/03/10
Posts: 2,213
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Re: advice for a depressed college guy [Re: Notid]
#14330148 - 04/21/11 09:20 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I strongly recommend that you not try to get into a relationship to deal with your problem. It sounds like you have some deeper personal issues, and it would probably be healthier if you dealt with those before you get into another relationship with anyone. There is an old proverb or something, and I can't remember how it goes, but the jist of it is basically something like: "you can't be the light for somebody else if you haven't found it for yourself".
I have lots of friends that are constantly in a relationship with somebody. If they break up with one person, its only a few weeks or a month or two before they are with somebody else. It always seemed to me like a lot of the time it was because these people weren't happy with who they were as people, and that was why they constantly needed somebody else. NOT saying this is the case with you, because I obviously don't know you at all, just an observation I've made with some people I am close to.
But yeah. I would suggest trying to be happier with yourself before getting in a relationship with anybody. Get a new hobby, stay busy, get lots of exercise, and eat healthy. Plus if you stop looking, a lot of the time somebody will come along when you least expect it.
Edited by waves (04/21/11 09:27 PM)
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i like cow poo
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Re: advice for a depressed college guy [Re: Notid]
#14330151 - 04/21/11 09:22 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Sounds like you're isolating yourself. You need to hangout with people and go to parks and enjoy nature. Exercise helps the mind and body to function better and you will sleep better. Try these things and you will feel better! If you don't try these things I have no pity on you! Peace bro
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waves


Registered: 04/03/10
Posts: 2,213
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Quote:
i like cow poo said: Sounds like you're isolating yourself. You need to hangout with people and go to parks and enjoy nature. Exercise helps the mind and body to function better and you will sleep better. Try these things and you will feel better! If you don't try these things I have no pity on you! Peace bro
It's true. I have struggled with serious depression throughout most of my adult life. One thing I learned after a a few hundred psychedelic experiences (LOL) is that happiness really is a decision. You probably think I'm full of shit when I say that, but in my experience it's truth. Sometimes you have to really try to be happy. It's not always easy. But every morning when you wake up you really do have the choice-you can decide that today will be a great day, or you can decide that it is going to suck. Obviously that doesn't ALWAYS work because sometimes fucked up things happen that are outside of your control.
However, for the most part, the choice is yours.
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ManianFH
living in perverty


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Re: advice for a depressed college guy [Re: Notid]
#14331664 - 04/22/11 03:42 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Whenever I start to feel down on life, I meditate on how much I love myself. Not from a narcissistic approach, but rather a feeling of genuine love for my life, and who I am.
I feel like you cannot be of much use to other people on a sincere level until you are able to appreciate yourself in such a way. So I'd recommend that you stop trying to look outwards for the support beam to happiness, and rather look inside. Emotions are kinda hard to control, especially at 21, but the good news is you have your whole life ahead of you.
Not only that but youre probably healthy, in good shape, and maybe even have a full head of hair . Enjoy what you got before death comes for you. We all die. One thing I know is that I want to have lived a good life before I die. I feel I have already achieved that outcome and more, because I choose to love myself, and enjoy what I've got.
You have the ability to do this, you just need to get into the behavior loving yourself unconditionally, and drop the other behaviors that perpetuate the feeling of shittiness; theyre useless.
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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bigmike7104
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Re: advice for a depressed college guy [Re: waves]
#14333034 - 04/22/11 12:04 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
TheDukeofLizards said:
Quote:
i like cow poo said: Sounds like you're isolating yourself. You need to hangout with people and go to parks and enjoy nature. Exercise helps the mind and body to function better and you will sleep better. Try these things and you will feel better! If you don't try these things I have no pity on you! Peace bro
It's true. I have struggled with serious depression throughout most of my adult life. One thing I learned after a a few hundred psychedelic experiences (LOL) is that happiness really is a decision. You probably think I'm full of shit when I say that, but in my experience it's truth. Sometimes you have to really try to be happy. It's not always easy. But every morning when you wake up you really do have the choice-you can decide that today will be a great day, or you can decide that it is going to suck. Obviously that doesn't ALWAYS work because sometimes fucked up things happen that are outside of your control.
However, for the most part, the choice is yours.
i agree, which is why i chose the quote i have in my sig to be there. shitty things will still happen and bring you down, but it's up to in how long you let it bring you down. start by paying attention to your thought patterns and you'll probably see how irrational they can become.
-------------------- Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines
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ampakine
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Re: advice for a depressed college guy [Re: bigmike7104]
#14338212 - 04/23/11 12:23 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I recommend taking 5-htp or tryptophan supplements. Serotonin deficiency causes both depression and insomnia so that may be the cause of yours.
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XUL
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Re: advice for a depressed college guy [Re: Notid]
#14338737 - 04/23/11 02:26 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Notid said: I'm 21 years old, finishing up my junior year of college. I'm slipping back into depression at the moment- I feel completely apathetic all the time, I can't sleep at night and I can't wake up in the morning. I pretty much only even leave my house to go to class when I'm able to make myself go.. Every day feels like a struggle just to make it to the end. For a while I didn't think I was really depressed, I thought I was just stressed out from school. but even after all the things that were causing me stress went away, I still feel the same.
the only thing I can really think of as a reason behind it, and this definitely is part of the problem but probably not all of it, is that I don't have a girlfreind at the moment, or really anyone I can fully open up to. I've only even had one relationship in my life, throughout most of highschool, which ended because the girl was much more into me than I was her. since then, I haven't been at all close with any girls, and pretty much just spend my time with my housemates and 1 or 2 other friends.
I feel like meeting a girl and starting a relationship would really help me out of this funk, but I don't know how that would happen. I'm only really interested in a very small subgroup of girls. that, combined with me assuming in advance that girls wouldn't be interested in me, leads to me not talking to them at all.
any advice at all would really be appreciated, every day is miserable for me right now. I'll even have the occasional thought of suicide as a way out pop up, more as an idea than as something I'd actually do.
Dood. I went through similar bouts in college. College is a high stress environment. Lots of peers and lots of school work. It can get you down but I am sure if you hang in there you will make it. I made it through persistance.
As far as women goes, I also went through similar issues. At first I never wanted to ask them out because I also didnt think they would like me. Then something in me changed and I said fuck it. I had never had a girlfriend until I decided to say fuck it.
One summer I asked out as many women as I could. I got shot down like 5 times before I scored. I eventually picked up a girl when I was working. I yelled out the window of the drive through and offered her and her friends a frosty. 2 months later we were in love.
Recently I did the same thing. I probably took about 8 girls out on dates. 6 of then didnt like me, I hated one of them and on the 8th girl I found somone I liked.
If you dont try then you most likely wont find a woman.
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i like cow poo
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Re: advice for a depressed college guy [Re: XUL]
#14340381 - 04/23/11 08:18 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Sometimes college is so busy I don't have time for women. Summer is a different story
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shLong



Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
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Re: advice for a depressed college guy [Re: XUL]
#14348798 - 04/25/11 12:08 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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XUL said: I eventually picked up a girl when I was working. I yelled out the window of the drive through and offered her and her friends a frosty. 2 months later we were in love.
A Wendy's pimp 
OP, Im also having similar issues. Not 100% the same, but I feel like everything has lost its luster. Like Im a fucking robot.
I feel my 1st time checking out the Well Being section of the forum has been a great idea. People seem to actually give half a fuck here...
Keep your chin up and exercise (it is Spring, afterall)
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northwesthesh
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Re: advice for a depressed college guy [Re: Notid]
#14349290 - 04/25/11 02:15 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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boy to boy i would say forget the girl man they all hoes n skanks hahah try to meet a girl an be her friend dont make it sexual and awkward an as far as your depression goes mang youre just bored an thinking to much brains arent meant for thinking unless youre stoned lol pick up a hobby or get a gym membership or hey my personal fav go join a yoga class im sure you will meet some very nice ladies there
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Anonymous #1
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Re: advice for a depressed college guy [Re: ampakine]
#14349647 - 04/25/11 03:21 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I'm with most posters here..
Just don't worry too much about the lack of intimacy, you'll find it yourself, in yourself:
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TheDukeofLizards said: "you can't be the light for somebody else if you haven't found it for yourself".
College is a short term deal with lifelong consequences. It will determine just how far you could go, each day brings forward new opportunities to discover your world:
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Life is Love, enjoy it; Life is Challenge, meet it; Life is a Song, sing it; Life is a Dream, realize it; Life is a Game, play it; Life is a Goal. achieve it. Sai Baba, requiescent in pace 24 Apr 2011.
Focus on your plan, amend it to suit where you want to go in life and I can be sure you'll meet the one:
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ampakine said: I recommend taking 5-htp or tryptophan supplements. Serotonin deficiency causes both depression and insomnia so that may be the cause of yours.
^^ This is not my idea of the one. Just symptom substitution. Take travels during summer break, find a job relevant to your studies or maybe beyond your studies; a step further than your fellows.. Im not sure about you, but I don't come from money, everything I've had since going back to school has been the product of me seamlessly using university practice IRL with astounding results. My biggest chief complain to my therapist (and the world in general) was the absence of my personal instruction manual to produce my sense of inner happiness like I saw in everyone else, superstars included. I used to look around me, covet the shit out of it all and ask "What has happened in my life to produce my unhappiness?:"
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When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Khalil Gibran, On joy and sorrow.
The good therapist concluded much the same, "Write your own"...
Good Luck
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