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uber_aj
Goodbye Shroomery!


Registered: 11/13/05
Posts: 4,486
Loc: Much love to you all
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: pwnasaurus]
#14322910 - 04/20/11 12:52 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I dunno, but there's no reason to condemn it b/c you don't see the point. Maybe dating is the only way the guy knows how to get laid? Maybe the type of girls he is banging don't like the idea of having several fuck buddies at one time; maybe the guy is a masochist who enjoys paying for overpriced dinners; maybe he thinks he understands women better by dating a bunch of them?
Who knows, regardless, it does happen and it's ignorant to label someone else a coward or some other derogatory term b/c you don't understand their love life or perspective. You're (I don't know about you personally, but pouihi is) lumping them into a Potential-Cheaters category and projecting your negative emotions onto them, it's childish. I could go into a big rant about how people who use the terms "slut" and "whore" are sexually repressed puritans who are right up there with the "God Hates Fags" folks, but if you don't see my point after all these posts, I doubt that'll be a good selling point.
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Anthony917
why dont we do it in the road



Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 3,243
Loc: Earth
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: uber_aj]
#14322921 - 04/20/11 12:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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aj I just think that most people view relationships as a trusting bond between two people. You enter the relationship having mutual respect for one another, trusting that your partner will be loyal. That is what a relationship is. If you want to fuck whoever comes along, then you should never be in a relationship to begin with, and by entering in one with the intention of being unfaithful...then you're a giant douche
-------------------- Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17 Trippin? Click Me
What is life? I'm tired of life...
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Silversoul
Rhizome


Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: Anthony917]
#14322935 - 04/20/11 12:58 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anthony917 said: aj I just think that most people view relationships as a trusting bond between two people. You enter the relationship having mutual respect for one another, trusting that your partner will be loyal. That is what a relationship is. If you want to fuck whoever comes along, then you should never be in a relationship to begin with, and by entering in one with the intention of being unfaithful...then you're a giant douche
I think open relationships are fine for those who want that. Each couple can decide for themselves what their boundaries are, and anything that crosses those boundaries is cheating.
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uber_aj
Goodbye Shroomery!


Registered: 11/13/05
Posts: 4,486
Loc: Much love to you all
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: Silversoul]
#14323015 - 04/20/11 01:17 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Silversoul said:
Quote:
Anthony917 said: aj I just think that most people view relationships as a trusting bond between two people. You enter the relationship having mutual respect for one another, trusting that your partner will be loyal. That is what a relationship is. If you want to fuck whoever comes along, then you should never be in a relationship to begin with, and by entering in one with the intention of being unfaithful...then you're a giant douche
I think open relationships are fine for those who want that. Each couple can decide for themselves what their boundaries are, and anything that crosses those boundaries is cheating.
I agree with both you. My only point in this argument has been:
Nobody likes being cheated on, but demonizing cheaters (and potential cheaters) is stupid, because the only things that ultimately separate you from them are chance and circumstance. It's likely that at least one person you know and respect has cheated at some point in their life, yet you wouldn't call them a coward/piece of shit. If I used ultra-conservative morality I could find a way to label every single one of you a cheater.
In conclusion, it's great that most of you guys can say you don't cheat, but get the fuck off of your moral high horses about it, you might surprise yourself one day.
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pouihi
Mary Jane Doe



Registered: 01/04/11
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Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: uber_aj]
#14323122 - 04/20/11 01:48 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I actually didn't experience that recently.
I'm nothing like an "ultra-conservative" moralist, and you saying that just because I think cheating is coward is in itself judging.
I'm a great fond of honesty and respect, and I don't praise dishonest people.
As I said I've always put that matter plain simple, if you want to have the freedom to be with others other than just one, play fair and make things in way in which you're not misleading anyone, assume what you stand for and what you want, be it single, open relationship, fuck buddies or whatever suits you.
If you wish to be with only one person and go cheating on them you are in fact a coward piece of shit, assume your actions and live up to the consequences.
I have plenty of buddies who have those kind of relationships, I myself have had relationships in which I wasn't willing to compromise with that person but never lead them to believing otherwise, always was straight. Eventually I met someone with whom I wanted to share a more profound connection, and believe me for me to be with someone at this level it is because it's someone I think it's really worth it and who I think it's worth compromising. I respect him a lot and would never be able do to something which I knew would hurt him. Even if don't love someone you're with anymore, you should at least respect them.
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"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite."
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CubensisCliff
Sailor among the Shrooms



Registered: 05/17/10
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Loc: Over the rainbow
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: numonkei]
#14323373 - 04/20/11 02:42 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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ive cheated twice, both times with the same girl on different girlfriends. havent done that in a long time now though, say 9 or 10 years.
-------------------- "There are three side effects of acid: enhanced long-term memory, decreased short-term memory, and I forget the third." -Timothy Leary I have never, nor shall i attempt, to break any laws of the country for which i live or the providences therein. Every thing ive said is of course, theoretical. Check out my Traditional skills/Homesteading blog at www.rusticworldblog.wordpress.com Check out my Grow Log... http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/14117455
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uber_aj
Goodbye Shroomery!


Registered: 11/13/05
Posts: 4,486
Loc: Much love to you all
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Quote:
pouihi said: I'm nothing like an "ultra-conservative" moralist, and you saying that just because I think cheating is coward is in itself judging.
I did not accuse you of being ultra conservative.
Quote:
CubensisCliff said: ive cheated twice, both times with the same girl on different girlfriends. havent done that in a long time now though, say 9 or 10 years.
Would you describe yourself as a coward piece of shit for doing that, or would you describe it as a mistake/lapse of judgement/youthful indiscretion?
See, I have a theory that we're all human beings, and no matter how saintly and morally sound we tout ourselves to be on this internet forum, we're just as prone to error as the next person and therefor totally unwarranted in our judgment of other people. Remember that to many people, our rationalized drug use is on par with (or worse than) infidelity...
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numonkei
Back! From thedigestive tractof dave theiguana!

Registered: 04/12/06
Posts: 2,500
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: uber_aj]
#14323715 - 04/20/11 03:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Many 'indescretions' get one to be called a coward piece of shit.
I've never cheated, like I've said. But I've broken hearts, and in circumstances where I'd call myself a coward, piece of shit. I've lead and stolen plenty, mostly youthful indiscretion, but I was definitely being a coward, piece of shit more most of those, (a few instances being really a fucking courageous piece of shit.)
I can think of a few instances where cheaters immediately fessed-up, and courageously accepted consequence for their actions. And some of them were even justified in their actions. But nine times out of ten, the cheating is coupled with lying, (cowardice), and often with disregard for someone they are fronting on about respecting in the deeper senses, (greediness, general piece o' shit being).
It's arbitrary, as you said, but it's really fucking rare that it is not an action often DEALT WITH at least in a cowardly manner and a selfish manner, even if it was resulting from one indiscrepancy. I wouldn't say most of those who cheated on me were pieces of shit, but most were definitely cowards, no question, by unanimous degrees of acceptance in our shared social circles.
I think you may be misinterpreting someone using 'bitchy' synonymously with 'bitch' where it isn't being used as such in response to some of the earlier ones up the thread.
Quote:
Remember that to many people, our rationalized drug use is on par with (or worse than) infidelity...
Really don't think that this is correct, maybe in some of the more ultra-conservative circles but people seem to be by-and-large much more rational about drug policy these days. Last few times I've been popped the cops apologized the whole way down to the stations for the 'bullshit'
~Monk
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: uber_aj]
#14324420 - 04/20/11 06:35 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
uber_aj said: Remember that to many people, our rationalized drug use is on par with (or worse than) infidelity...
And the most irrelevant point of the year goes to..... uber_aj!
Drug use is something that is between a person and their own morality - cheating is violating the trust, respect, and boundaries two people have set between each other.
Note how one is only related to oneself, and the other is related to MUTUAL TRUST and RESPECT. Key being that people have no say in what I do with myself, but we can all agree on the fact that cheating is morally wrong - what constitutes cheating differs between every relationship, and we certainly won't be able to agree on that, but the concept of it is almost universally agreed upon.
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Humility
Working on it



Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,745
Last seen: 7 years, 11 days
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: numonkei]
#14324656 - 04/20/11 07:33 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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No, everyone doesn't cheat.
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