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OfflineCoaster
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: numonkei]
    #14319108 - 04/19/11 06:45 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

i go out with girls just so i can cheat on them


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Offlinenumonkei
Back! From thedigestive tractof dave theiguana!

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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: Coaster]
    #14319119 - 04/19/11 06:47 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Coaster said:
i go out with girls just so i can cheat on them




:lol: Hey man, at least you actually know where you stand, that's a leg up on most folk.



~Monk

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OfflineMeowMix96
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Registered: 04/08/11
Posts: 149
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: zgbzgb1]
    #14319145 - 04/19/11 06:50 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

zgbzgb1 said:
everyone who can does



Yeah pretty much the way I feel about it.
I have cheated and I'm proud of it.
If I'm not in love with the person then I am going to cheat on them.
If I love them or care about them then I am loyal as a dog, but most people I'm with I'm only there for the laughs.
I need a "real" relationship, but those are hard to come by, so I enjoy life to the max.
Besides there really isn't anything special about sex anyways.
It's just a sensation, like eating or shitting.


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The road goes on forever and the party never ends......

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OfflineCoaster
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: MeowMix96]
    #14319148 - 04/19/11 06:51 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

ya but I don't cheat





































because in my rule book all is fair in love and war


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Offlinenumonkei
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: MeowMix96]
    #14319244 - 04/19/11 07:09 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

MeowMix96 said:
Quote:

zgbzgb1 said:
everyone who can does



Yeah pretty much the way I feel about it.
I have cheated and I'm proud of it.
If I'm not in love with the person then I am going to cheat on them.
If I love them or care about them then I am loyal as a dog, but most people I'm with I'm only there for the laughs.
I need a "real" relationship, but those are hard to come by, so I enjoy life to the max.
Besides there really isn't anything special about sex anyways.
It's just a sensation, like eating or shitting.




I can only assume that if you need a "real" relationship, and that is not by definition an open relationship where trust can occur with outside fucking, then your attitude will continue to make those relationships REAL fucking hard to come by.

You can enjoy life to the max, but some would argue that there is a much more profound level of happiness stemming from perpetuation of a loving and trusting relationship than a simple sensation. Kants' utilitarian definition of layman's basic pleasures versus a higher quality of satisfaction from the 'smart art' basically.

Of course, the trusting can be maintained in an open relationship, but that isn't what I mean by cheating. The rules are different in that case and it ISN'T cheating, but I'd sacrifice busting a nut one night for a few years of a long, loving, and trusting relationship any day.

Then again, after being cheated on in such a situation where undeserved trust was allocated, I wish I WOULD have fucked all her friends. One former lover told me today that her friend drunkenly taking her shirt off and trying to seduce me before pushing her off is what led to her cheating. That's, of course, complete bullshit. Shouldda fucked the big-titted hottie. :sad:

Chivalry is dead for a reason, it has to go both ways.

Just noticed the Ebay link at the top says 'buy Toilet Paper':lol:

~Monk

Edited by numonkei (04/19/11 07:35 PM)

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InvisibleRaw
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: numonkei]
    #14319281 - 04/19/11 07:16 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I've never cheated.  Just would not do that.

I don't know if I've been cheated on.  Most probably not.  There is a small outside chance though.


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OfflineMeowMix96
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: numonkei]
    #14319321 - 04/19/11 07:22 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I totally agree with you on most of it.
I understand that trusting relationships do happen and I would gladly sacrifice simple immediate pleasure for pleasure of a longlasting nature, but the fact of the matter is that I am only alive for so long and if the right person isn't here I don't see the harm in abusing the abusers.
  The majority of my relationships have not been trusting ones/stable, which is why I cheated and continue to cheat.
It's fun and more satisfying then just having sex.
Cheating is more of a fetish then anything. A way to add to sex.
Obviously this is a big issue for you and I don't mean any offense or disrespect to the people who are loyal to their partners.
It is an admirable desire, but I have lost the "illusion" of romance or caring.
I also have a problem with sex with the same person being interesting.
I can only have sex with the same person so many times.
I think it's biological.... that's my excuse anyways.


--------------------
The road goes on forever and the party never ends......

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Offlinenumonkei
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: MeowMix96]
    #14319352 - 04/19/11 07:32 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

It's only a big issue for me personally when it's used in a hypocritical way. I often find that those who cheat in long-term relationships tend to be overly paranoid about being cheated ON.

It's a big issue right now because I'm a stupid person who keeps talking to their ex, (she started fucking around immediately after we got a place in a new city with someone in the old city, 90% of furniture and appliances were/are mine), and she became hyperjealous while she cheated and I did not, this happened for months. Loved her enough to forgive the cheating and be in an open relationship if the deception would stop. It did not, and hyper-jealousy resumed. It continues, and I left months ago and we rarely speak.

Cheating and lying is different than cheating and not lying or being in an open relationship. It becomes more of a trust issue than, as you mentioned, simply a sensation.

All I'm saying is if you carry that attitude in all your relationships, you may find the 'Right One', but fuck it up due to either sex or trust issues. Then again, I've never once cheated and have been cheated on by every girl I've been in love with, so maybe I'm just fucking wrong.:shrug: That was the whole point of making the thread, to shed some light on that in what is a sample that I could relate to more so than other internet or tangible venues.

My prior response was not meant to be hostile or belittling, if it came across as such I apologize.




~Monk

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InvisibleZippoZM
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: numonkei]
    #14319395 - 04/19/11 07:39 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

cheating, particularily lying about cheating in a relationship is a lot like jenga.

if it is taken care of early on, usually it can be dealt with without toppeling the relatonship. but the longer it goes on, and the longer it stays as a secret, the more likely that the relationship will fall down around the both of you.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: MeowMix96]
    #14319440 - 04/19/11 07:48 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

MeowMix96 said:
I totally agree with you on most of it.
I understand that trusting relationships do happen and I would gladly sacrifice simple immediate pleasure for pleasure of a longlasting nature, but the fact of the matter is that I am only alive for so long and if the right person isn't here I don't see the harm in abusing the abusers.
  The majority of my relationships have not been trusting ones/stable, which is why I cheated and continue to cheat.
It's fun and more satisfying then just having sex.
Cheating is more of a fetish then anything. A way to add to sex.
Obviously this is a big issue for you and I don't mean any offense or disrespect to the people who are loyal to their partners.
It is an admirable desire, but I have lost the "illusion" of romance or caring.
I also have a problem with sex with the same person being interesting.
I can only have sex with the same person so many times.
I think it's biological.... that's my excuse anyways.




That's despicable.

If you don't care about someone, or the relationship you have with them, then don't be in it.  Simple as that.

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InvisibleDarkMatterOfFact
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: numonkei]
    #14319466 - 04/19/11 07:53 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

numonkei said:
It's only a big issue for me personally when it's used in a hypocritical way. I often find that those who cheat in long-term relationships tend to be overly paranoid about being cheated ON.

It's a big issue right now because I'm a stupid person who keeps talking to their ex, (she started fucking around immediately after we got a place in a new city with someone in the old city, 90% of furniture and appliances were/are mine), and she became hyperjealous while she cheated and I did not, this happened for months. Loved her enough to forgive the cheating and be in an open relationship if the deception would stop. It did not, and hyper-jealousy resumed. It continues, and I left months ago and we rarely speak.

Cheating and lying is different than cheating and not lying or being in an open relationship. It becomes more of a trust issue than, as you mentioned, simply a sensation.

All I'm saying is if you carry that attitude in all your relationships, you may find the 'Right One', but fuck it up due to either sex or trust issues. Then again, I've never once cheated and have been cheated on by every girl I've been in love with, so maybe I'm just fucking wrong.:shrug: That was the whole point of making the thread, to shed some light on that in what is a sample that I could relate to more so than other internet or tangible venues.

My prior response was not meant to be hostile or belittling, if it came across as such I apologize.




~Monk


those who have advantages take them. some are the gifted by vanity. unless your taught otherwise that its some corrupt shit..

sometimes being hated by others fuels it by jealousy. certain people are really just too fast to be loved. its highly complicated when affection comes into play and fear. its really one of societies big love to hate issues. :sad:


--------------------
                                                                                 

Nixon was a asshole. Just look at his biggest creation. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the DEA.

Which secretly stands for Demonizing Everyone by Allegations.

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Offlinenumonkei
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: DarkMatterOfFact]
    #14319479 - 04/19/11 07:57 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Could you articulate on that a bit? I don't quite understand what you mean.



~Monk

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InvisibleDarkMatterOfFact
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: numonkei]
    #14319503 - 04/19/11 08:02 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

i mean some poeple have advantages of looks and get more attention and sex then other people. its a vane world. so that makes them more likely to cheat.

it throws your question for a loop because not everyone falls into that category, so therefore those who can, will, if they dont think its a bad thing by their standards.


--------------------
                                                                                 

Nixon was a asshole. Just look at his biggest creation. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the DEA.

Which secretly stands for Demonizing Everyone by Allegations.

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Offlinenumonkei
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: DarkMatterOfFact]
    #14319538 - 04/19/11 08:12 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I know I've been offered plenty of sex I haven't taken. Only regret it when it turns out that a lover at the time, assumed to be straight-up, was cheating AND lying. Cheating hurts, at least to this mind, but being lied to about it is a deal breaker. Otherwise it's always been forgivable, it's sex and I can understand it.

Especially if it's over a long period of time. She KNEW I would get angry, she KNEW it would hurt me. She also KNEW I wouldn't hurt her, and She KNEW I wouldn't use it against her later. So, therefore, either she did NOT know one of the statements above, which means she didn't know me as well as I thought she did at the time. Or, I did not know HER as well as I thought I did at the time. Either way, it killed a relationship I treasured, and meant that I turned down fucking her REALLY, REALLY hot friends after they came onto ME.

It sucked, still sucks, need to vent semi-anonymously, thus this thread.

One of the negatives of our 'selves' being so drastically adapted to change, and the resulting changing of our standards.:sad:One simply cannot grasp a wonderful intangibility forever.



~Monk

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Offlinepouihi
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: uber_aj]
    #14321599 - 04/20/11 05:23 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

uber_aj said:
I'm just saying, if you're with somebody and the magic has worn off, and you meet someone new who you really click with, I don't see any problem with letting the night run it's course (whether it's kissing or a lay) and breaking up with the other person the next day.
I don't believe that you or anybody else in this thread dumps their sig. others at the first sign of questioning their own desire to be in the relationship either, that's silly.

And you don't know any people who kiss but don't fuck on the first night? That's for twelve year olds? Fuck, I wish more women thought like you.




So why would you be with someone who's "magic as worn off"?
And go out as available as if you were single?

I think it's not complicated, if you're single do whatever you want, no one's business but yours, you don't need to have a gullible soul at home waiting for you just in case that really hot chick from the night wakes up finding you a bit different than what you looked like.


--------------------


"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite."

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Invisibleblewmeanie
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: numonkei]
    #14321667 - 04/20/11 06:26 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I've never cheated, but I've been the other guy a few times.:lol:


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The Prophecy!

Learn To Code

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Invisibleuber_aj
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: pouihi]
    #14322095 - 04/20/11 09:23 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

pouihi said:
So why would you be with someone who's "magic as worn off"?
And go out as available as if you were single?

I think it's not complicated, if you're single do whatever you want, no one's business but yours, you don't need to have a gullible soul at home waiting for you just in case that really hot chick from the night wakes up finding you a bit different than what you looked like.




Well, I wouldn't personally, I never enjoyed being in relationships and haven't been in one for years. But, I think most people stay in relationships where the magic wears off, in fact I saw a study on the Science channel that showed most people's attraction to their partner only lasts 4 years at most, less if it starts out as a really hot relationship. Most people have been comfortable at that point and we all know how resistant most folks are to leaving their comfort zone. They did show one couple who were an exception, the attraction center of their brains still lit up after ~17yrs. They were both weird people, probably why it worked.

So, maybe you have a good thing going, you do care for the other person, but the attraction is wearing off. Ofc you aren't going to dump them right away, b/c you're comfortable with them and don't want to hurt them, and you're not sure you want to leave them (grass is always greener, ya know?). You also don't have to "go out as available as if you were single" to meet someone, it could always be a new coworker, a random stranger at college, something like that.

Life is change and we have a fairly large capacity to surprise ourselves, which is why I think it's black and white to dismiss cheaters as gutless cowards and to paint relationships as things you only enter with people you deeply care about and are 100% sure you want to be with. If that's how it's worked for you, congrats. But most people have to try a wide variety of partners before finding someone special.

I agree with you in the sense that it's fucked up to have someone waiting at home for you while you intentionally go out looking for strange. Lying and hiding it is a shitty thing to do to somebody, although in some morbid fashion, I'm fascinated by the guys you occasionally hear about who have two separate families where neither knows about the other... not that I want to do that, but it's an interesting social anomaly kinda like serial killers.

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Offlinepouihi
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: uber_aj]
    #14322328 - 04/20/11 10:20 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Now we agree on something.

Quote:

uber_aj said:

If that's how it's worked for you, congrats. But most people have to try a wide variety of partners before finding someone special.




So did I, after a failed relationship with a fucker who's into having gf and constantly cheating I had my fair share as a single, and I think it's also great if that is what you want and you know that you want, and eventually found someone with whom I'm in the same length wave, so I'm good and wouldn't ruin that for anyone.
I just think that when you meet a new person that you fancy and get stuck on that situation "being w/someone and wanting another" it's because you aren't already connect to the person you're having a relationship and should have already finished the relationship.

Because it's equally coward to maintain a relation just because you don't have anything else at the moment (so stick w/that until something better comes around).


--------------------


"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite."

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Invisibleuber_aj
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: pouihi]
    #14322464 - 04/20/11 10:56 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

pouihi said:
I just think that when you meet a new person that you fancy and get stuck on that situation "being w/someone and wanting another" it's because you aren't already connect to the person you're having a relationship and should have already finished the relationship.

Because it's equally coward to maintain a relation just because you don't have anything else at the moment (so stick w/that until something better comes around).




This is the big thing we disagree on. I take the meaning of cowardice fairly seriously, I think your use of that term is a judgmental, emotional reaction to having been cheated on somewhat recently rather than a fair reflection of human behavior.

There's nothing wrong with shallow dating for fun and sex as long as you don't mislead the other person, nor is there anything wrong with dumping someone if you find somebody you'd rather be with. I don't find the regular lay a good enough reason to put up with all the drama that accompanies that lifestyle, personally, but to each their own. I see no concrete reason why a person should automatically end their relationship just b/c their connection to their partner doesn't meet your arbitrary criteria.

I'm glad we found a middle ground on some things, though. My views are fairly abnormal I guess, at least in comparison to my peers.

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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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Re: Does Everyone Cheat? [Re: uber_aj]
    #14322616 - 04/20/11 11:42 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

uber_aj said:
Quote:

pouihi said:
I just think that when you meet a new person that you fancy and get stuck on that situation "being w/someone and wanting another" it's because you aren't already connect to the person you're having a relationship and should have already finished the relationship.

Because it's equally coward to maintain a relation just because you don't have anything else at the moment (so stick w/that until something better comes around).




This is the big thing we disagree on. I take the meaning of cowardice fairly seriously, I think your use of that term is a judgmental, emotional reaction to having been cheated on somewhat recently rather than a fair reflection of human behavior.

There's nothing wrong with shallow dating for fun and sex as long as you don't mislead the other person, nor is there anything wrong with dumping someone if you find somebody you'd rather be with. I don't find the regular lay a good enough reason to put up with all the drama that accompanies that lifestyle, personally, but to each their own. I see no concrete reason why a person should automatically end their relationship just b/c their connection to their partner doesn't meet your arbitrary criteria.

I'm glad we found a middle ground on some things, though. My views are fairly abnormal I guess, at least in comparison to my peers.




What's the point in 'shallow dating for fun'?  If you're going to date someone, then you give them your all, otherwise just be fuck buddies.  I don't really understand that logic at all.

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