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PsilocybinMike
T.F.Y.Q.A


Registered: 02/18/08
Posts: 2,602
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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times you've lost drugs at the worst possible times (fuck my fucking life moments)
#14315524 - 04/19/11 02:55 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Getting out of work after an already significantly shitty ass fucking miserable day and losing 2 roxis that you wanted to save (in someone elses dirty fucking room) when your life is already a piece of shit and you wanted to save them to mend your raped soul after going to your soul raping job tommorow. I make jack shit and have little money to begin with. Not only that but they are difficult to get, and I paid full price ($1/mg) for each fucking pill (4 total did 2 tonight atleast) but my high was ruined spending an hour+ ripping the fucking room apart on top of it all.
Thank fucking GOD I have some xanax I can take to tame the raging misery from that whole experience and go to sleep without laying in bed fuming about it.
I have so little enjoyment in my life, and I'm not a daily/addicted user of opiates, nor do I have the money to be someone who does that. I work a shit job and make dog shit money with no benefits and regularly get laid off for weeks at a time when work is too slow.
My appreciation for the small window of euphoria from my occasional opiate use is so treasured and appreciated due to how mind bogglingly better my miserable and mediocre at best life becomes during that time that to have that snatched away from me feels like my soul has been raped violently by a demon jackhammer cock of hate and despair.
Some of you probably think I'm just being a baby, but in reality my life is essentially a piece of shit to the my point I can often perceive my friends unspoken sadness and embarrassment for me for having to see what a miserable and unfulfilled piece of shit my life has become. My childhood was no picnic either. Some of my close friends and family know my background, I won't go in to it. It's not something I go around complaining about especially to strangers or acquaintances but essentially it never really got better. Misery has always been a constant variable in my human equation.
If you've taken the time to read this feel free to reply with your own tales of times when you couldn't of lost drugs or a particular drug that served a particular purpose at a worse time.
oh and p.s:
I recently had to take a thorough psychological examination which after completed and written into a 20+ page report determined I apparently suffer from chronic anxiety and depression, have executive functioning issues, and should be a considered a suicidal risk and monitored at all times. Obviously if REALLY was the case they wouldn't have me out of the confines of an asylum and I wouldn't be holding down this miserable fucking job to support my mediocre at best and unfulfilled life.
Seriously though, I know plenty of you out there either are in a similar predicament in your lives or may have been at one point. When you feel this way and you spend disgusting amounts of money to get roxi/oc at full price when you have so little money that you shouldnt even be buying them and then just lose $60 worth and the other $60 worth you just put up your nose has pretty been canceled out by the agonizing experience of ripping the fucking room apart and eventually driving 30 minutes back home forced to stew in your own misery after giving up the search is just..........
Anyway sorry for the long rant/post but if you read this far here's the part where you share your tales of losing drugs at the worst possible times. Bonus points if your life already fucking blows to begin with and the loss of those drugs amplified your daily misery to a point of a feeling of violently depressing anger and brain cell popping frustration.
*disclaimer*
This is not some suicide post/cry for help, my lifes just a piece of shit. I'm fucked up enough still now from xanax and othr xanax and the roxi still and amp salts in my system mad bud. Sorry to bitch about it like a pussy but that's how sad and pathetic my love for roxi is mainly because of unimaginable relief is brings my soul albeit for a very short period of time. No need to get alarmed. There's plenty of you who think just like me, hopefully some come forweard and share otherwise thanks for reading. For you content or "happy" people I apologize if the greatly disturbing and graphic depiction of the inside of mind and soul of an individual who has not existed in a state of genuine happiness or experiencing the feeling of being content probably ever in their life.
Edited by PsilocybinMike (04/19/11 03:03 AM)
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InvaderShroom
Ganja;)



Registered: 03/09/11
Posts: 377
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
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Re: times you've lost drugs at the worst possible times (fuck my fucking life moments) [Re: PsilocybinMike]
#14315535 - 04/19/11 03:02 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
PsilocybinMike said: Getting out of work after an already significantly shitty ass fucking miserable day and losing 2 roxis that you wanted to save (in someone elses dirty fucking room) when your life is already a piece of shit and you wanted to save them to mend your raped soul after going to your soul raping job tommorow. I make jack shit and have little money to begin with. Not only that but they are difficult to get, and I paid full price ($1/mg) for each fucking pill (4 total did 2 tonight atleast) but my high was ruined spending an hour+ ripping the fucking room apart on top of it all.
Thank fucking GOD I have some xanax I can take to tame the raging misery from that whole experience and go to sleep without laying in bed fuming about it.
I have so little enjoyment in my life, and I'm not a daily/addicted user of opiates, nor do I have the money to be someone who does that. I work a shit job and make dog shit money with no benefits and regularly get laid off for weeks at a time when work is too slow.
My appreciation for the small window of euphoria from my occasional opiate use is so treasured and appreciated due to how mind bogglingly better my miserable and mediocre at best life becomes during that time that to have that snatched away from me feels like my soul has been raped violently by a demon jackhammer cock of hate and despair.
Some of you probably think I'm just being a baby, but in reality my life is essentially a piece of shit to the my point I can often perceive my friends unspoken sadness and embarrassment for me for having to see what a miserable and unfulfilled piece of shit my life has become. My childhood was no picnic either. Some of my close friends and family know my background, I won't go in to it. It's not something I go around complaining about especially to strangers or acquaintances but essentially it never really got better. Misery has always been a constant variable in my human equation.
If you've taken the time to read this feel free to reply with your own tales of times when you couldn't of lost drugs or a particular drug that served a particular purpose at a worse time.
oh and p.s:
I recently had to take a thorough psychological examination which after completed and written into a 20+ page report determined I apparently suffer from chronic anxiety and depression, have executive functioning issues, and should be a considered a suicidal risk and monitored at all times. Obviously if REALLY was the case they wouldn't have me out of the confines of an asylum and I wouldn't be holding down this miserable fucking job to support my mediocre at best and unfulfilled life.
Seriously though, I know plenty of you out there either are in a similar predicament in your lives or may have been at one point. When you feel this way and you spend disgusting amounts of money to get roxi/oc at full price when you have so little money that you shouldnt even be buying them and then just lose $60 worth and the other $60 worth you just put up your nose has pretty been canceled out by the agonizing experience of ripping the fucking room apart and eventually driving 30 minutes back home forced to stew in your own misery after giving up the search is just..........
Anyway sorry for the long rant/post but if you read this far here's the part where you share your tales of losing drugs at the worst possible times. Bonus points if your life already fucking blows to begin with and the loss of those drugs amplified your daily misery to a point of a feeling of violently depressing anger and brain cell popping frustration.
*disclaimer*
This is not some suicide post/cry for help, my lifes just a piece of shit. I'm fucked up enough still now from xanax and othr xanax and the roxi still and amp salts in my system mad bud. Sorry to bitch about it like a pussy but that's how sad and pathetic my love for roxi is mainly because of unimaginable relief is brings my soul albeit for a very short period of time. No need to get alarmed. There's plenty of you who think just like me, hopefully some come forweard and share otherwise thanks for reading. For you content or "happy" people I apologize if the greatly disturbing and graphic depiction of the inside of a Peace.
Can you get good pills for depression? and good pills for pain;) haha nah but think, things can always be worse:/ do u smoke weed? no matter how shitty my day is, a nice joint unwinds me at the end. and maybe a couple hydrocodones
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PsilocybinMike
T.F.Y.Q.A


Registered: 02/18/08
Posts: 2,602
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: times you've lost drugs at the worst possible times (fuck my fucking life moments) [Re: InvaderShroom]
#14315538 - 04/19/11 03:05 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
InvaderShroom said:
Quote:
PsilocybinMike said: Getting out of work after an already significantly shitty ass fucking miserable day and losing 2 roxis that you wanted to save (in someone elses dirty fucking room) when your life is already a piece of shit and you wanted to save them to mend your raped soul after going to your soul raping job tommorow. I make jack shit and have little money to begin with. Not only that but they are difficult to get, and I paid full price ($1/mg) for each fucking pill (4 total did 2 tonight atleast) but my high was ruined spending an hour+ ripping the fucking room apart on top of it all.
Thank fucking GOD I have some xanax I can take to tame the raging misery from that whole experience and go to sleep without laying in bed fuming about it.
I have so little enjoyment in my life, and I'm not a daily/addicted user of opiates, nor do I have the money to be someone who does that. I work a shit job and make dog shit money with no benefits and regularly get laid off for weeks at a time when work is too slow.
My appreciation for the small window of euphoria from my occasional opiate use is so treasured and appreciated due to how mind bogglingly better my miserable and mediocre at best life becomes during that time that to have that snatched away from me feels like my soul has been raped violently by a demon jackhammer cock of hate and despair.
Some of you probably think I'm just being a baby, but in reality my life is essentially a piece of shit to the my point I can often perceive my friends unspoken sadness and embarrassment for me for having to see what a miserable and unfulfilled piece of shit my life has become. My childhood was no picnic either. Some of my close friends and family know my background, I won't go in to it. It's not something I go around complaining about especially to strangers or acquaintances but essentially it never really got better. Misery has always been a constant variable in my human equation.
If you've taken the time to read this feel free to reply with your own tales of times when you couldn't of lost drugs or a particular drug that served a particular purpose at a worse time.
oh and p.s:
I recently had to take a thorough psychological examination which after completed and written into a 20+ page report determined I apparently suffer from chronic anxiety and depression, have executive functioning issues, and should be a considered a suicidal risk and monitored at all times. Obviously if REALLY was the case they wouldn't have me out of the confines of an asylum and I wouldn't be holding down this miserable fucking job to support my mediocre at best and unfulfilled life.
Seriously though, I know plenty of you out there either are in a similar predicament in your lives or may have been at one point. When you feel this way and you spend disgusting amounts of money to get roxi/oc at full price when you have so little money that you shouldnt even be buying them and then just lose $60 worth and the other $60 worth you just put up your nose has pretty been canceled out by the agonizing experience of ripping the fucking room apart and eventually driving 30 minutes back home forced to stew in your own misery after giving up the search is just..........
Anyway sorry for the long rant/post but if you read this far here's the part where you share your tales of losing drugs at the worst possible times. Bonus points if your life already fucking blows to begin with and the loss of those drugs amplified your daily misery to a point of a feeling of violently depressing anger and brain cell popping frustration.
*disclaimer*
This is not some suicide post/cry for help, my lifes just a piece of shit. I'm fucked up enough still now from xanax and othr xanax and the roxi still and amp salts in my system mad bud. Sorry to bitch about it like a pussy but that's how sad and pathetic my love for roxi is mainly because of unimaginable relief is brings my soul albeit for a very short period of time. No need to get alarmed. There's plenty of you who think just like me, hopefully some come forweard and share otherwise thanks for reading. For you content or "happy" people I apologize if the greatly disturbing and graphic depiction of the inside of a Peace.
Can you get good pills for depression? and good pills for pain;) haha nah but think, things can always be worse:/ do u smoke weed? no matter how shitty my day is, a nice joint unwinds me at the end. and maybe a couple hydrocodones 
Yea I am scripted xanax for my chronic anxiety disorder and adderal to treat executive functioning deficiencies. If I wasn't on xanax I wouldn't be alive. I will most likely be a daily user of this medication til I DIE and I'm ok with that when I remember what chronic anxiety did to me all my life before I finally got evaluated and got a script.
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baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVZBTAYm3rw
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propensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶



Registered: 01/06/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Re: times you've lost drugs at the worst possible times (fuck my fucking life moments) [Re: PsilocybinMike]
#14315556 - 04/19/11 03:13 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Dude you need to chill out.
Shit could be muuuch worse.
Spend your little bit of drug funds on acid and reevaluate your life instead of pissing it away with insightless opiates.
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۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ ̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆
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PsilocybinMike
T.F.Y.Q.A


Registered: 02/18/08
Posts: 2,602
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: times you've lost drugs at the worst possible times (fuck my fucking life moments) [Re: PsilocybinMike]
#14315569 - 04/19/11 03:22 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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OH I forgot to add, it's not outside the realm of possibly 1 of the 3 other people in the small room I was in may have taken the pills when they were set down somewhere. I REALLY don't wanna to believe either of these 3 would be willing to do that, but if by some chance of flagrant snake ass backing stabbing spineless fucking thieving shamelessly done to me after I had just got done smoking these people out and even sharing some of 2 both of the 30s I did.
If none of them genuinely didn't/wouldn't even considering doing that I feel bad even suggesting that but I backtraced my steps and this was a small room with an even smaller proximity of where it might in relation to where I last remember having handling it and seeing it.
Can't say I'd be flabbergasted though, I've got a pretty lengthy history of major moments of distrust and with both friends family. I've been set up by close friends from childhood
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baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVZBTAYm3rw
Edited by PsilocybinMike (04/19/11 03:35 AM)
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tk3
wobbly zombie

Registered: 02/22/11
Posts: 225
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
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Re: times you've lost drugs at the worst possible times (fuck my fucking life moments) [Re: PsilocybinMike]
#14315571 - 04/19/11 03:23 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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i can't remember losing drugs. I remember finding them though.
quit smoking weed.
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PrymaLScReam
Talks To Dolphins



Registered: 02/23/10
Posts: 453
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: times you've lost drugs at the worst possible times (fuck my fucking life moments) [Re: PsilocybinMike]
#14315574 - 04/19/11 03:24 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I was a careful junkie on a very limited budget, so it's never really happened to me, but I have a dipshit buddy who would always be losing pills and powders all over the goddamn place.
I remember this one time back in January I took him to some old dude's house that he had just met, thinking homeboy was a roxy connect. Well, he ended up returning to my car 30 minutes later with 3 little bags of heroin (one for everyone in the car...it was my first and only h experience) and a handful of 15mg morphines. He got so excited that when I dropped him off at school so he could pick up his bike, he dropped his bag right in front of the campus police department.
It was fucking great to have him around sometimes, though, cause I somehow made him believe, despite months of taking rides across town in my vehicle, that my front 2 seats could not be moved. So if this shaky ass fiend would ever drop a pill between the seats, it was immediately added to my rainy day fund.
Good times...
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Mr.Qabalistic



Registered: 05/31/10
Posts: 317
Last seen: 9 years, 11 months
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Re: times you've lost drugs at the worst possible times (fuck my fucking life moments) [Re: propensity]
#14315582 - 04/19/11 03:28 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Iv had days were I would kill for a buzz. I just smoke grass to deal with every thing. Once you sober up and its all gone tho, it sucks, but to me that just means its time to get more. Xanax connections here are bad. Four bucks a bar... the last guy i visited said he had them, I went there, dumb fuck only had seroquel and he tried telling me it was the same exact thing. This guy also tried selling me grass, he had no baggies and no scale. SUPER unprofessional. So I just got a eyeballed nic since I drove over. Never will visit him again...
Iv had days were iv lost herb, and usually if I lose my substances and cant get any more, alcohol is always my last resort.
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Mr.Qabalistic



Registered: 05/31/10
Posts: 317
Last seen: 9 years, 11 months
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Re: times you've lost drugs at the worst possible times (fuck my fucking life moments) [Re: PrymaLScReam]
#14315593 - 04/19/11 03:33 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
PrymaLScReam said: I was a careful junkie on a very limited budget, so it's never really happened to me, but I have a dipshit buddy who would always be losing pills and powders all over the goddamn place.
I remember this one time back in January I took him to some old dude's house that he had just met, thinking homeboy was a roxy connect. Well, he ended up returning to my car 30 minutes later with 3 little bags of heroin (one for everyone in the car...it was my first and only h experience) and a handful of 15mg morphines. He got so excited that when I dropped him off at school so he could pick up his bike, he dropped his bag right in front of the campus police department.
It was fucking great to have him around sometimes, though, cause I somehow made him believe, despite months of taking rides across town in my vehicle, that my front 2 seats could not be moved. So if this shaky ass fiend would ever drop a pill between the seats, it was immediately added to my rainy day fund.
Good times... 
lol thats great that you get free pills because he thinks your car seat does not move. So was this guy a user? I know of a guy who sounds similar. His name is Kevin, and he uses every one, if you see him he always asks for rides. He will tell a person he will smoke you out if you give him a ride, then he wont do it. Same guy claims to be a great pot dealer, but he never has a scale or empty baggies even. People like that are pathetic.
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PrymaLScReam
Talks To Dolphins



Registered: 02/23/10
Posts: 453
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: times you've lost drugs at the worst possible times (fuck my fucking life moments) [Re: Mr.Qabalistic]
#14315616 - 04/19/11 03:45 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Haha, yeah, he was and still is (to the best of my knowledge) a pretty heavy user. When we were hanging out often was when both of us were pretty much at the same place with our habits. Just railing one back then could still have me feeling for a good few hours and then set me back down gently with a nice little afterglow to fall asleep to.
I remember in the back of my mind I always used to wonder which one of my friends would bottom out first, cause it seemed like we all just started losing our collective shit together. A good part of me was scared it was gonna be, because for a little while, I was the one most willing to put just about any goddamn thing into my body for the sake of soothing curiosity.
But those days passed, my roxy habit blew up to 4 a day and became my DOC, meanwhile homeboy and his girlfriend got very serious, graduated onto the , and now I'm in the slow process of trying to leave the game for good.
The other day he told me he was trying to quit for good, as well, after finally going overboard and having to be rushed to the hospital. And honestly, for all the shit it may seem like I'm talking, this is really just me having a laugh at a fuck-up's fuck-ups (I mean the losing pills part, not the OD part), and I genuinely do hope he gets clean soon, cause it was just the pills that made us all the way we were for a while. I'm already starting to see traces of my old self returning slowly.
Edited by PrymaLScReam (04/19/11 03:48 AM)
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PsilocybinMike
T.F.Y.Q.A


Registered: 02/18/08
Posts: 2,602
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: times you've lost drugs at the worst possible times (fuck my fucking life moments) [Re: PrymaLScReam]
#14315655 - 04/19/11 04:20 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Man, I was REALLY down when I wrote this. So sad, I had so little money and rarely actually get to get high. Sad.
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baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVZBTAYm3rw
Edited by PsilocybinMike (04/22/11 11:15 AM)
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