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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship



Registered: 02/07/11
Posts: 2,857
Loc: Nowhere
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: potgrrl]
#14323714 - 04/20/11 03:55 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Oh, don't worry Summer's coming and my big boy job is ending next month. I don't have to be so clean looking anymore. IME most women love facial hair...
Also, at lease I found out where all the ladies hang out on the Shroomery
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Edited by fbi365 (04/20/11 04:16 PM)
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meatwodd7600
Spiritual Developer



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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
#14324010 - 04/20/11 04:58 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Yeah OP, I have read this thread and what I come up with is your said female friend is basically stringing you along. I have found that some women like to play two or more hands at once (same with men). Sending you mixed ambiguous signals so as to confuse you even further than you already are. That way, if she is pursuing a potential suiter and it doesn't work out between them, she can still come to you for emotional support or attention when she needs it. And since the signals are blurred, she would even have the option to date you. This is the worst kind of situation to be in. It is unfair for her to use you like that and she knows it.
If you don't believe me, just reverse the rolls. Keep acting like her friend and make up stories about your new love interest(s). Tell her that with your new found love interests, you just dont have time to hang out like you used to. I would bet that unless she is really getting involved with a partner of her own, that she would try and pull you out of the friend zone, and be more intimate with you, at least long enough to further confuse you and send more mixed signals. Allas, the cycle continues.
As far as advice, I wouldn't even know where to start. I will leave that up to you. I probably would just distance myself from her and chalk it up to a life lesson learned. That is unless you think you can be friends and nothing more with her. That rarely works because you still have romantic feelings towards her and she will take advantage of that.
Now I read somewhere on this thread that some of you have waited a year or longer before you decide to make the first move. That seems way to long to me. If you have been friends for a year or more, and nothing intimate has happened, chances are it is not going to happen. You are already in the friend zone by then, so it is too late. Not all of the time, but usually.
Well, that is my two cents. Hell, I might be totally wrong about her, but I bet I am not.
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship



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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: meatwodd7600]
#14324051 - 04/20/11 05:09 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
meatwodd7600 said:
If you don't believe me, just reverse the rolls. Keep acting like her friend and make up stories about your new love interest(s). Tell her that with your new found love interests, you just dont have time to hang out like you used to. I would bet that unless she is really getting involved with a partner of her own, that she would try and pull you out of the friend zone, and be more intimate with you, at least long enough to further confuse you and send more mixed signals. Allas, the cycle continues.
Yeah, I could easily do this without making anything up. I am sleeping with someone casually (did I not mention this, oops). But I just don't think that I want to act that trashy by telling her to get a reaction. I mean its a little manipulative, and its really none of her business.
I don't like games, so I choose not to play them on other people as best I can. Tempting though
I guess I could do this if I decided to "bring out the big guns." Haha, but this seems last resort-ish...
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meatwodd7600
Spiritual Developer



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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
#14324086 - 04/20/11 05:20 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Yeah, it would just be a way to verify said relationship status. You are right. If less of us played games, life would be a lot less complicated.
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TTT
Cultivate the inside


Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: potgrrl]
#14324094 - 04/20/11 05:22 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
potgrrl said:
Quote:
fbi365 said: Je-Zus-Christ. I have some real sole searching to do. LIke up in the mountains, grow a beard, have a vision quest sort of thing. I don't even know where to start...
Women are freaking confusing - we even confuse ourselves!!!
I don't envy you guys.
Most. true. statement. ever.
I am intimidated by women because I am one and I know how I am......
vague as fuck. emotional. sometimes cranky. capability of being a super cold, ruthless bitch or the most empathetic person possible.
Its crazy shit.
Edited by TTT (04/20/11 05:23 PM)
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship



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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: TTT]
#14326072 - 04/21/11 01:46 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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First test =
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BadAcid
PLUR 2011>



Registered: 06/23/10
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
#14326209 - 04/21/11 02:49 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I will not say much all I will say is my short opinion:
that girl has played you like a violin. Always remember that. She has to prove herself worthy to YOU. You are the one who will decide when, where and if you show her any affection. She OWES you after all this fucking around just remember that. What someone above said about time limits is very true, you want to start putting the moves on her WITHIN THE FIRST 3 WEEKS OF KNOWING HER. Increasing with time.
If she still doesn't WANT you to fuck her after doing this for 3 months, it's over. Trust me.
anyway good luck.
and let me re-iterate it is YOU who is in charge and it is HER who must EARN your affection.
-------------------- People can fly
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potgrrl
Tripper Grrl



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 641
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: BadAcid]
#14326354 - 04/21/11 04:49 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
fbi365 said:
Yeah, I could easily do this without making anything up. I am sleeping with someone casually (did I not mention this, oops). But I just don't think that I want to act that trashy by telling her to get a reaction. I mean its a little manipulative, and its really none of her business.
I'm actually kinda glad to hear you have a F*buddy (FB), it's probably the only thing that's kept you sane with what's going on elsewhere.
But yes, I agree, don't bother trying to make her jealous with it, that's not only manipulative, but it's childish and passive aggressive. Plus, your casual buddy won't appreciate the shared info either, and let me tell you - a casual buddy who is happy staying casual is an awesome thing to maintain throughout life for those... "dry spells".
Quote:
BadAcid said: I will not say much all I will say is my short opinion:
that girl has played you like a violin. Always remember that. She has to prove herself worthy to YOU. You are the one who will decide when, where and if you show her any affection. She OWES you after all this fucking around just remember that.
I like, in general, what BadAcid has to say, but I would like to add in that while it's okay to power yourself with the indignance that you believe she "owes" you, don't go so far as to try to communicate to HER that you think she owes you. It won't go over well.
But in general, I'm a big proponent of using the power of anger and indignance to make real lasting change in our lives - just don't let it seep out to punish others around you, that's the hard part
-------------------- Everything is arbitrary. (me)
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reidzilla
Stranger

Registered: 02/13/11
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
#14327285 - 04/21/11 11:22 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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i know you you have a picture of this Sara. put up a face pic?
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potgrrl
Tripper Grrl



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 641
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: reidzilla]
#14327408 - 04/21/11 11:58 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
reidzilla said: i know you you have a picture of this Sara. put up a face pic?
I vote "no, that would be juvenile".
-------------------- Everything is arbitrary. (me)
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship



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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: potgrrl]
#14327471 - 04/21/11 12:14 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
potgrrl said:
Quote:
reidzilla said: i know you you have a picture of this Sara. put up a face pic?
I vote "no, that would be juvenile".
I am the most immature person I know, besides my one other buddy. I don't think it is a good idea to post pictures of anybody's face on Shroomery. Mine or anybody else's.
 
She has a cute unique looking face, an immaculate she-mane (seriously, she has the most beautiful hair), she has a nice body petite but not tiny, large breasts, small but round behind. Thats the best I can do, you will have to fill in the blanks. She is attractive, but certainly not a ten. I am not the most attractive guy by a long shot though.
She won't stop texting me. Do I ignore them completely?
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potgrrl
Tripper Grrl



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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
#14327565 - 04/21/11 12:40 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
fbi365 said:
She won't stop texting me. Do I ignore them completely?
Here's about what I would say. It's based on what I DID actually say to someone when I was in your situation and it was just hurting me too much:
"Look, I really enjoy hanging out with you but my feelings are too strong to watch you date and flirt with other people. I realize you don't feel the same for me, and that's fair.
I need to take some time for myself for a while, so I can come back and truly be friends with you again. Give me 6 months of 'no contact' and we can try this 'friends' thing again. Sound reasonable?"
You may have to repeat the message a few times, keep all the heat on YOUR feelings and how YOU need time to detatch and "reset" or whatever.
It helps if you let them know you're not planning to go away forever... saying 6 months gives them a time frame so they don't feel completely abandoned.
Ultimately, after those 6 months you may choose to NOT re-initiate the friendship, and that's your right to do at the time. Don't share that bit of information, it just wigs them out. Keep it in your own arsenal for your own sanity.
At some point you'll have to decide to stop responding completely, because it's unlikely she'll give you the space properly (your attention felt really good!! being desired is awesome even if we don't really WANT the guy...), but do your best to do the "broken record" technique 3-4 times before you stop responding entirely.
If you stop responding too soon, it's more indicative of you trying to "punish" her, which isn't going to help you detach from your feelings for her. Hate and Love are very similar... the opposite of Love is actually indifference, not hate.
Let us know how it goes, this part is the hardest and most dramatic, but once you get into the 6 months of "no contact" the drama between you and her slows down in a huge way.
Then it's the drama in your MIND you have to contend with, but at least you don't have the hormonal response to seeing her/being touched by her all the time, too.
Good luck, man. Hang out with friends, work out, distract yourself. Read books about communication and relationships so you can deal with her (and other women's) little tricks!!
-------------------- Everything is arbitrary. (me)
Edited by potgrrl (04/21/11 12:41 PM)
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HuHEN
I am the Owl



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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: potgrrl]
#14327649 - 04/21/11 01:01 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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just go fuck someone else. You can't force someone into wanting a relationship with you. So unless you want a shitty GF find someone that is genuinely interested in you
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Psychoslut
The Mother Fucking Bear-o-dactyl

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Loc: all up in ya
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Re: How to beat the 'Just Friends' Syndrome? [Re: fbi365]
#14327667 - 04/21/11 01:05 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Just friends isn't a syndrome, its just a very simple way for a girl to say she is not into sex or a relationship with you right now. If you want her bad enough you will hang out with her until she decides shes in love and jumps your bone.
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[quote]KristiMidocean said: Good now thats clear.WHO FUCKING CARES. If I am fat u all keep pointing it out like its suppose to be a secret.LIke u really have nothing better to do then make fat jokes. If o know its like I do I know yall can come up with NEW AND BETTER SHIT . This shit is old and boring . I left in the first place cause this shit got boring not because of the fat jokes . Fat jokes dont bother me but seriously its old[/quote]
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potgrrl
Tripper Grrl



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 641
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: HuHEN]
#14328078 - 04/21/11 02:48 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
HuHEN said: just go fuck someone else. You can't force someone into wanting a relationship with you. So unless you want a shitty GF find someone that is genuinely interested in you
You missed the part where he already IS fucking someone else I think it's partially what's kept him sane this past 6 months.
-------------------- Everything is arbitrary. (me)
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Psychoslut
The Mother Fucking Bear-o-dactyl

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Posts: 20,917
Loc: all up in ya
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: potgrrl]
#14328116 - 04/21/11 02:56 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
potgrrl said:
Quote:
HuHEN said: just go fuck someone else. You can't force someone into wanting a relationship with you. So unless you want a shitty GF find someone that is genuinely interested in you
You missed the part where he already IS fucking someone else I think it's partially what's kept him sane this past 6 months.
And the only reason she aint fucking him right now, is because she is fucking, or trying to fuck someone else.
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[quote]KristiMidocean said: Good now thats clear.WHO FUCKING CARES. If I am fat u all keep pointing it out like its suppose to be a secret.LIke u really have nothing better to do then make fat jokes. If o know its like I do I know yall can come up with NEW AND BETTER SHIT . This shit is old and boring . I left in the first place cause this shit got boring not because of the fat jokes . Fat jokes dont bother me but seriously its old[/quote]
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potgrrl
Tripper Grrl



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 641
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Psychoslut]
#14328129 - 04/21/11 02:59 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psychoslut said:
Quote:
potgrrl said:
Quote:
HuHEN said: just go fuck someone else. You can't force someone into wanting a relationship with you. So unless you want a shitty GF find someone that is genuinely interested in you
You missed the part where he already IS fucking someone else I think it's partially what's kept him sane this past 6 months.
And the only reason she aint fucking him right now, is because she is fucking, or trying to fuck someone else.
Sorry man, but women are actually capable of having more than one sexual partner at a time and desiring them both
-------------------- Everything is arbitrary. (me)
Edited by potgrrl (04/21/11 02:59 PM)
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Psychoslut
The Mother Fucking Bear-o-dactyl

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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: potgrrl]
#14328169 - 04/21/11 03:07 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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All I know is hanging out with girls is alright to do long enough to see if you can get some vag, if they dont give it up he needs to just go find someone that will.
she could be one of those i only fuck one guy at a time because i dont want to feel like a whore kind of girls.
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[quote]KristiMidocean said: Good now thats clear.WHO FUCKING CARES. If I am fat u all keep pointing it out like its suppose to be a secret.LIke u really have nothing better to do then make fat jokes. If o know its like I do I know yall can come up with NEW AND BETTER SHIT . This shit is old and boring . I left in the first place cause this shit got boring not because of the fat jokes . Fat jokes dont bother me but seriously its old[/quote]
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livelovelaugh
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Psychoslut]
#14328954 - 04/21/11 05:35 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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hmm this sort of sounds like the situation my boyfriend and i were in before we started officially dating. this girl sounds a lot like me and what i put my boyfriend through..
what finally made me stop fucking around and commit to my guy was mostly due to me. i just genuinely felt bad about what i was doing and realized that no guy in the past has ever treated me as nicely and respectfully as this guy has. not too mention he was so intelligent and considerate. so i put aside my fears and any reservations i had about dating him, and just let it happen. maybe she's has the same reservations or anxieties i had about committing too. try talking to her about it, a real, honest conversation about your feelings and what you'd both like to do.
he, however, stopped talking to me as much as he used to, started hanging out with his friends more, and even starting talking to other girls. i got super jealous, and realized "shit, i really like this guy, i don't want him hitting on other girls or making plans to see them" so idk, maybe play her game. go out with girls or talk to them when youre out together or something.
hopefully it all works out in your favour
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship



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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: livelovelaugh]
#14329332 - 04/21/11 06:48 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
livelovelaugh said: hmm this sort of sounds like the situation my boyfriend and i were in before we started officially dating. this girl sounds a lot like me and what i put my boyfriend through..
what finally made me stop fucking around and commit to my guy was mostly due to me. i just genuinely felt bad about what i was doing and realized that no guy in the past has ever treated me as nicely and respectfully as this guy has. not too mention he was so intelligent and considerate. so i put aside my fears and any reservations i had about dating him, and just let it happen. maybe she's has the same reservations or anxieties i had about committing too. try talking to her about it, a real, honest conversation about your feelings and what you'd both like to do.
he, however, stopped talking to me as much as he used to, started hanging out with his friends more, and even starting talking to other girls. I got super jealous, and realized "shit, i really like this guy, i don't want him hitting on other girls or making plans to see them" so idk, maybe play her game. go out with girls or talk to them when youre out together or something.
hopefully it all works out in your favour 
Well your story is a nice contrast to what has been a pretty depressing story throughout this thread. Thanks for sharing because that is obviously what I might want to happen. Although, I know, in the back of my head it won't because things like that just don't happen to me. So I am going to do my best to forget about it all if I can, like your boyfriend did, or tried to do.
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