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Offlineshimishimiman
Jaded Optimist


Registered: 03/21/09
Posts: 469
Loc: Shmexas, Texas
Last seen: 1 month, 27 days
Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
    #14725860 - 07/06/11 01:08 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Well done comrade, I think I speak for all of us when I say WE ARE VERY FUCKING PROUD OF YOU :smile:!


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Offlinefbi365
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Registered: 02/07/11
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
    #14918926 - 08/14/11 02:25 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

fbi365 said:
I thought I would give a little update, again, for my own good to get it off my chest as well as for any good advice that might come from the shroomery community.

So, basically, she has been short or completely unresponsive most of the summer.  I called her out on in and she said nothing was wrong, just the great physical distance between us.

And I think I have figured out what attracts me to her so strongly; she makes me feel like complete shit.  I have never known any other feeling from a woman before, and to be honest I don't think I deserve anything better which is why I like her so much.

With that being said.  I met somebody else (:hi: I'm FBI, Nice to meet you).  Things with her seem to be the opposite of with Sarah.  They are simple.  She likes me a lot and makes it known.  I tried for a while to resist because she is a little out of my age category and because I didn't know how to approach things with the Sarah thing, but I think I am caving. 

The new girl, Kassi, is very affectionate, caring, and sensitive to my feelings.  She is fun and flirtatious.  She does have a little temper though and she likes cats which is creepy (and I'm allergic).  The whole thing is more simple and I am having fun with it.  Its kinda nice and the complete opposite of what it was like with Sarah.  To be honest though, I don't have a terrible amount of emotional investment right now. I just want to keep it FUN, thats all.  When it stops being fun, I am out of there.  Also, it is happening at a weird time for me so I am a little apprehensive right now.

Oh, and did I forget to mention?  She is GORGEOUS :smile: YAY!  Not cute, beautiful, or hot.  Kassi is drop dead gorgeous.  Strait up bangin.  I won't say she's a 10, but she's somewhere damn close.  She is the girl ALL of my guy friends want.  lol.  and I got her.  It makes me giggle :lol:  We slept together for the first time on the Fourth of July.  :boobs:  :highfive:  :earlycuyler: 

Thanks for listening shroomers.  Thanks for the advice.  I think I am getting it :smile:




She is a fucking hornet!  She dumped me to the friend zone three days ago and has taken every opportunity to pick a fight with me since.  She offered no reason.  One day she was all "lovey, I like you so much"  The next day she tossed me to the street. no reason, or explanation...

I am drunk.  Have been for three days straight.  But I want to resurrect this thread to understand what the fuck went wrong.  Again.  and again...

Will update when I straighten out.  But I need some help on the application of these things.


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Offlinephantomstranger
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Registered: 12/17/05
Posts: 285
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
    #14918961 - 08/14/11 02:37 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

This is disheartening. I read this entire thread a while back believe it or not, and I found it very interesting because I was going through a very similar situation. And to see somebody at least had broken out of it was very encouraging.


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Offlineevildee125
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Registered: 03/23/09
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Mr.Al]
    #14919019 - 08/14/11 03:07 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Mr.Al said:

Give her some Molly?:shrug: then walk around naked while vigorously jelqing.

When she's asks what you are doing tell her you are "maintaining plausible deniability..."

Play "Eye of the Tiger" and really get into jelqing while maintaining an ultra serious countenance...






Then look concerned and tell her you need a spotter for your "penis pushups".

Go now and know that FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! EYE OF THE TIGER MAN!



:winner::abbie:


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Anonymous #5

Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: evildee125]
    #14919359 - 08/14/11 05:57 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)



Quote:

fbi365 said:
Thread dedicated to the intolerable purgatory that is "just friends." 
If you are like me, you can't seem to break the friends barrier.  Consistently throughout my life I become the good trusted friend; When, what I really want is to be some type of relationship with her, be it sexual, bf/gf, long-term, or whatever.

Okay, so Sarah and I hang out a bunch, we go to the bars, we grab lunch together, and go out on dinner dates, we work together.  We generally have a good time together. 

This has been going on for probably six months now.  When I really started to notice she liked me, she would put her hands on my legs and just being really hands on.  But whenever I tried reciprocating or making the moves she would tell me "thats not okay." 

(You should have listened and let her do her thing)

We ended up kissing one night, but after that everything stopped. 

(probably because your kissing sucked = inexperienced in other areas) 

We still hung out, but the physical element had obviously cooled

(It got cool because you didn't bring chemistry)
.  Weird, I thought, until I found out she had a boyfriend all along.


Well, now the boyfreind is out of the picture, and I am turning things up a bit.  We have been going on formal dates (nice restaurants, getting dressed up, etc) and have soft plans for PF Changs sometime later this week.

(that sounds really weak & boring, she has a bf but shes going out with you, touching your leg, and you couldn't close?)

No kissing yet, but she told my friend that she likes me, trusts me, and was open to the idea of dating me.  I got drunk and told her the other night that i liked her after our date.  She just said "I know." and then we talked about the one time we kissed, but DIDN'T kiss again (WTF) and she never said that she liked me too or anything. kind of disappointing :frown: 

(*Here you made a fatal flaw by giving her all the power)


She has been acting a little douchy lately though.  She told me about how she made out with a guy at the bar on Thursday, (jealousy test) ditched out on plans Saturday (clinginess test), and last night she was kind of holding hands with some guy she knew at the bar and left with him, right in front of me (failed all 3 after surrendering power)

But oh, she was sure to remind me of our PF Changs plans on her way out with him.  Why would she do these things or tell me about them if she knows I like her and proclaims to others to like me?

(In her eyes you're a beta provider, your jealousy showed because she held hands with her friend, now she thinks you're a frustrated chump because you kept buying her dinners and failing the tests

Bottom line, I really like this girl, and it is driving me crazy that she is so casual with me.  She is absolutely beautiful, and I just melt around her.  I will do anything to be around her.  I would literally do anything for her.

(people don't like you more when you give or do things for them, people like you more when you let them do things for you, like if I said hey could you grab me a drink, run the scenario through your mind doing something for someone you think of them while you are carrying out the task you think about what I like and pleasing me and all :feelsgoodman:)

Thanks for reading. I know it is long.  Please help me with your opinions about this up and down relationship with the understanding that I want to make this work with her.  I am not looking to blow it up.  I am not sure if I could do that anyway...

(You keep talking about the friend zone, you want to know how to get out of it...stop being in it, I like you you're kinda cute but I can't do the just friends thing)




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Anonymous #6

Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #14920095 - 08/14/11 10:25 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

You already fucked her... Now you can forget her like a champion!!!

Fuck em, dump em


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InvisibleAltered States
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
    #14920581 - 08/14/11 12:16 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Not to be a bitch but I must say that you need to grow some balls kid!! I mean really!! Don't let these girls run your emotions like that, quit wearing them on your sleeves like you do, girls can totally see that and they will take advantage of it every time..Buck up and be a man, know what you want then go out and get it, if it doesn't work out move on & try again. Don't be so vulnerable & emotional, it's a big turn off!!  Don't think every girl you hook up with is the girl your going to marry, because trust me there not thinking that way at all!! Girls at you age want to have fun & get fucked by a MAN!! Not a little boy bitch, & there definitely not thinking about marriage & steady relationships, they can get that when there 35. You can do it just take it down a few hundred notches & "HAVE FUN"..LOL!! Good luck!!


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Offlinefbi365
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Altered States]
    #14921208 - 08/14/11 02:50 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I don't know how to do that. I am not making the choice to be a fucking emotional wreck. It just happens. And when it does it is totally out of my control.


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InvisibleAltered States
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
    #14921329 - 08/14/11 03:17 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I suppose it is easier said than done, you live & learn. Maybe start out by not falling for these girls so hard, lighten up & have fun with it. Remember that that's what it's all about "FUN"  & You'll be OK.


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Offlinefbi365
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Altered States]
    #14921565 - 08/14/11 04:12 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

That's all I wanted was fun. And it was fun right up until the moment she dumped me. I think the issue now is that I never got a lot of girls, until now.  I keep fallin for everyone because I want that one to be THE one cause I feel like I don't know how many more I will get the chance with.

So issue number one is learning how to control my emotional investment in these relationships. I can work on knowing that I have the ability to get other girls but other than that I have no idea how to limit those emotions. If you can help please let me know!


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Offlinephantomstranger
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
    #14921785 - 08/14/11 05:07 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah, that's all I wanted too.  She was the one that started talking to me first. And she initiated conversation by calling me texting me 95% of the time. I didn't even like her at first. But when we started getting to know each other I realized she was everything I was looking for in someone.  She told me how much she liked me, told me she loved me, all the unspeakable things she would do to me.  Then she got back with her boyfriend. I'd try to hide my feelings but they'd come out sometimes and we'd start arguing every week or two and I guess after a year and a half of that she got tired of it.

She split up with the boyfriend a few months ago but I'm not sure they've finished up wrapping everything up because they had been together for 6 years.  I thought maybe after they would break up she could see how much better an option I was.  We were best friends, we both knew we had a special connection and it was obvious to every other person we knew.  But, even though I didn't exactly wait around for her because I had talked to a few other girls she knew that if she'd show interest in me I'd come back like a puppy wagging it's tail. And she took advantage of that, but I know that I let her. 

A couple weeks ago, she got pissed at me for not inviting her to a party I was having and next time I talked to her I was like well let's do something this weekend. She said idk I might be going sleep at my friend's (guy) house.  I reacted badly. Got jealous. We argued for 2 hours, both said pretty hurtful things. She got mad, she got on twitter and called me a pussy and a bitch (she didn't know I knew her twitter).  Since then we haven't talked, it's been about 10 days.  Before now I didn't know that you could love a person and hate them at the same time.  I miss her and I wonder if she misses me or if we'll ever see each other again but at the same time I don't want to.  She is very strong willed and stubborn so I kind of doubt she'll be the one to try to talk to me and I promised myself that I won't come crawling back this time...


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OfflinePsychoKinesiS
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Registered: 08/05/11
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: phantomstranger]
    #14924016 - 08/15/11 01:39 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

In my experience, there is never a friend stage. There is either clearly a sexual interest/action/flirting from the start or there is not. Even if there is not a relationship yet, it should still be obvious. If it starts out with a sexual interest and then it stops at some point, it is over. There is no platonic friends. I used to try to be friends with people and all I got was used, abused, and hurt over and over. Nobody is attracted to a doormat but they love to step all over you. Eventually I said "fuck it - no more friends". Every since I adopted that policy, I've been extremely successful. But then again, I'm gay... :p


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Edited by PsychoKinesiS (08/15/11 01:39 AM)


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OfflineJT
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
    #14924282 - 08/15/11 03:42 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I posted in here a while back, feelin down about a chick in a similar situation although more progressed than the OP. I'd like to come back and offer some advice now that I feel I'm as over her as I'll ever be. You're going to look back on this all and realize that being apart is for the best, but more importantly, you're gonna learn from the situation. Relationships take practice, and this is bound to happen to a lot of people until they learn what they really want and should expect in one.

You know how easy it is to get sucked in, how you can get used, and what the signs are. More importantly, you're gonna realize that these things come and go. There could always be someone else, so there's no need to rush things and become clingy. That is very difficult to understand and do until you have experiences like this. It's all part of learning to be an equal partner and not and slave to their actions.


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Offlinefbi365
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: phantomstranger]
    #14937986 - 08/17/11 03:45 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

phantomstranger said:
Yeah, that's all I wanted too.  She was the one that started talking to me first. And she initiated conversation by calling me texting me 95% of the time. I didn't even like her at first. But when we started getting to know each other I realized she was everything I was looking for in someone.  She told me how much she liked me, told me she loved me, all the unspeakable things she would do to me.  Then she got back with her boyfriend. I'd try to hide my feelings but they'd come out sometimes and we'd start arguing every week or two and I guess after a year and a half of that she got tired of it.

She split up with the boyfriend a few months ago but I'm not sure they've finished up wrapping everything up because they had been together for 6 years.  I thought maybe after they would break up she could see how much better an option I was.  We were best friends, we both knew we had a special connection and it was obvious to every other person we knew.  But, even though I didn't exactly wait around for her because I had talked to a few other girls she knew that if she'd show interest in me I'd come back like a puppy wagging it's tail. And she took advantage of that, but I know that I let her. 

A couple weeks ago, she got pissed at me for not inviting her to a party I was having and next time I talked to her I was like well let's do something this weekend. She said idk I might be going sleep at my friend's (guy) house.  I reacted badly. Got jealous. We argued for 2 hours, both said pretty hurtful things. She got mad, she got on twitter and called me a pussy and a bitch (she didn't know I knew her twitter).  Since then we haven't talked, it's been about 10 days.  Before now I didn't know that you could love a person and hate them at the same time.  I miss her and I wonder if she misses me or if we'll ever see each other again but at the same time I don't want to.  She is very strong willed and stubborn so I kind of doubt she'll be the one to try to talk to me and I promised myself that I won't come crawling back this time...




So much of this sounds so familiar to me.  You are being expected to mold your feelings to her will.  Like her when she likes you, be immediately able to turn those feelings off when she snaps her fingers.  I don't really have much advice to give, just saying that I understand.  I think you know what you need to do, try and move on, and be strong.  I also know how completely absurdly difficult that is.  But, ya, I hope you are strong enough to not crawl back this time.

An update about what I going on with me.  Things with Kassi ended badly, she hurt me and I reacted to that situation badly; emotional, erratic, fuckin angry, but then again she was being pretty mean. 

A few days later Sarah texted me (Sarah, member Sarah?  The little one who started this whole thread)  We left things very well, but We have spoke or texted very little over the summer.  She's back, and excited to hang out with me.  She saw me riding my bike and told me that her heart stopped when she saw me because she was so excited and nervous (don't know if that's good or bad?).  I expect she will call when she is all settled into her new place. 

I am excited to have her back in my life.  Like I said, we left things well, I think.  Especially, after having some time apart and having a new girl to keep my mind off her I think I am at a better place. 

I am excited for her friendship and her sex.  I am VERY apprehensive that this will turn into another situation where I get attached and end up getting hurt. 

I really want to keep things simple and fun.  I want to limit my emotional buy in with her until I know its right.  I also want to re-begin our friendship with no expectations of ends. 

I can already feel the expectations creeping in during my free time when my mind is wandering.  Expectations and hopes about how I want this to turn out.

I am really going to struggle here, to not make the same mistakes over again.


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Offlinephantomstranger
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
    #14939709 - 08/17/11 09:57 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

You are being expected to mold your feelings to her will.  Like her when she likes you, be immediately able to turn those feelings off when she snaps her fingers




QFT. Really couldn't have put it better. I wish I would have told her this.  That's why I read this whole thread man, because I felt a lot of similarity in both of our stories. 

Right now my anger is carrying me, I'm usually okay during the day but at night it creeps up on me.  I really don't know what I did to deserve the treatment I've gotten from her lately.  She says she wants a good guy. Bullshit.  Anyway it's been two weeks since I've spoken to her. Almost a month since I've seen her but we still play this stupid games on our iphones, which I feel is it's time to cut out but it's my last connection to her and I'm reluctant to do it.  I need to delete all her pictures on my phone but I don't feel like looking at them.  Also thinking about deleting her from my facebook but idk maybe I'm overreacting. Guess I'll give it another week or two.

Keep updating this thread, I'll be checking in on it from time to time.


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OfflineTANSTAAFL
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: phantomstranger]
    #14941002 - 08/18/11 05:39 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

this thread  :winner:  pretty much the reason i actaully joined the shroomery yesterday after months of lurking is to say i finally get it.good job  :bow2:


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Offlinefbi365
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: TANSTAAFL]
    #14943012 - 08/18/11 02:54 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

phantomstranger said:
Quote:

You are being expected to mold your feelings to her will.  Like her when she likes you, be immediately able to turn those feelings off when she snaps her fingers




QFT. Really couldn't have put it better. I wish I would have told her this.  That's why I read this whole thread man, because I felt a lot of similarity in both of our stories. 

Right now my anger is carrying me, I'm usually okay during the day but at night it creeps up on me.  I really don't know what I did to deserve the treatment I've gotten from her lately.  She says she wants a good guy. Bullshit.  Anyway it's been two weeks since I've spoken to her. Almost a month since I've seen her but we still play this stupid games on our iphones, which I feel is it's time to cut out but it's my last connection to her and I'm reluctant to do it.  I need to delete all her pictures on my phone but I don't feel like looking at them.  Also thinking about deleting her from my facebook but idk maybe I'm overreacting. Guess I'll give it another week or two.

Keep updating this thread, I'll be checking in on it from time to time.




I feel you on the anger thing.  I have a pretty epic level of rage inside of me right now.

You mean like actual board games or something? Or are you texting and playing "games"  cause if you are then you are still talking to her.

Do what you think is right.  If you are angry and cant talk with or see her, it might be time to cut ties entirely, at least for now.  If its been two weeks then you are doing good, A LOT better than me.

I got deleted from her facebook, and I really think that was overreacting.  I don't know why it bugs me so much that she did that?  You can just hide her shit without deleting her. 


Quote:

TANSTAAFL said:
this thread  :winner:  pretty much the reason i actaully joined the shroomery yesterday after months of lurking is to say i finally get it.good job  :bow2:




I am sure I speak for everybody when I say welcome!  What did you do to get it?  What exactly did you change?  Mind sharing?


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Offlinefbi365
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: shimishimiman]
    #14943437 - 08/18/11 04:21 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I just re-read this whole thread and picked out a few things that stood out and that I have entirely forgot.  I fucked a few of these up pretty bad with Kassi.  I am still learning.....

Quote:

potgrrl said:
In general, here's how GUYS avoid being put into the Friend Zone:

If you're attracted to a woman and want to date her and be with her sexually, make it clear to her that's what you want.  Feminine women deeply appreciate men who can be direct in their words, and who can accept that feminine women will ALWAYS be indirect in theirs.

If she says "no thanks let's just be friends", your response is "no thanks, I don't want to be 'just friends'.  Maybe I'll ask you out again in a few months if you're a good girl in the mean time" then WALK AWAY.  Don't pout, don't whine, don't get angry... and DO NOT try to "be her friend" so she can see what a great guy you are, thinking she'll decide to date you that way.

Go hang with your male friends.  Go work out - lift weights, get strong!  Give the girls something to touch when they are trying to let you know they're interested.  (Ask for dates with the girls who touch your muscles!!)

Get over your fear of rejection by reminding yourself that fortune favors the bold, and it can all be fun and light if you get into the right mindset.  Women LIKE men who can take rejection and not go and pout or whine or worse, get angry and lash out.

Of course, I'm not saying it's going to be easy - (insecure) girls play games like crazy to try to pull guys into their 'orbit', just to get attention and feel attractive.  I understand how difficult that must be for guys to figure out, but certainly, if she's attracted to you you'll know much better once you begin to be more direct yourself.



(hey Anonymous chick, start your own thread and I'll pipe in but I don't like to dilute threads)



Quote:

TTT said:
Quote:

potgrrl said:
In general, here's how GUYS avoid being put into the Friend Zone:

If you're attracted to a woman and want to date her and be with her sexually, make it clear to her that's what you want.  Feminine women deeply appreciate men who can be direct in their words, and who can accept that feminine women will ALWAYS be indirect in theirs.

If she says "no thanks let's just be friends", your response is "no thanks, I don't want to be 'just friends'.  Maybe I'll ask you out again in a few months if you're a good girl in the mean time" then WALK AWAY.  Don't pout, don't whine, don't get angry... and DO NOT try to "be her friend" so she can see what a great guy you are, thinking she'll decide to date you that way.

Go hang with your male friends.  Go work out - lift weights, get strong!  Give the girls something to touch when they are trying to let you know they're interested.  (Ask for dates with the girls who touch your muscles!!)

Get over your fear of rejection by reminding yourself that fortune favors the bold, and it can all be fun and light if you get into the right mindset.  Women LIKE men who can take rejection and not go and pout or whine or worse, get angry and lash out.

Of course, I'm not saying it's going to be easy - (insecure) girls play games like crazy to try to pull guys into their 'orbit', just to get attention and feel attractive.  I understand how difficult that must be for guys to figure out, but certainly, if she's attracted to you you'll know much better once you begin to be more direct yourself.



(hey Anonymous chick, start your own thread and I'll pipe in but I don't like to dilute threads)



I don't agree with any of this. I would never date a guy who behaved in such a way.

I would also never date a guy seriously that I wasn't good friends with for at least a year. I try to maintain some kind of plan for everything I do. I don't like to act without having a backbone to my actions. I would never risk my emotional balance, mental health and time on a guy who I didn't know like the back of my hand.

I want to know what to expect, I want to understand consistency in personality, how one deals with stress, jealousy, etc....things you see as a friend. Any man who can't do that is simply not worth my time.

Pushy guys also make me shut down and turn into "use and abuse" mood. If you directly make me feel like you're trying to control shit and are "in charge", I'll butt heads so hard you won't know what happened. If you do it with smarts and collected coolness, I'll be intimidated because I understand there is shit going on inside that head I don't understand, can't control and want more of.



Quote:

thedream said:
Congrats bro you manned up and handled your shit. You were interested in her and when she did not recipricate those feelings you did what you should have; show her that not just any girl can hold your attention and you are not looking for friendship, albeit thanks to the fine advice from our fellow shroomerites ofcourse but you followed through and it payed off.

With that being said the timing is less than ideal with her going away for two months. Be prepared for one of the following four things to happen upon her return: 1)She changed her mind and does not want to be an intimate relationship with you. 2) You two remain as friends with benefits until one of you, most likely her it sounds like, finds someone else or 3) your ideal circumstance, she does indeed like you and want to be in a relationship or 4) you two remain as just friends until you one of you falls out of contact with the other. Judging by how much contact you two have over the break will help gauge which choice she makes.

Due to the unpredictable nature of most girls and this girl especially it is hard to say which she will chose. But in my opinion she knew she would be away for awhile and therefor could be intimiate with you without having to commit to a relationship with you, hence the sympathy fucks. Doing so allowed the two of you to end things on good terms without having to officially end things. Not only that, it allowed her to not feel bad about the way she treated you because in the end you somewhat got what you wanted, atleast this is more than most of those in your position can say.

And I dont mean to take anything away from your experiences as I'm sure it was amazing and in all likelyhood she wanted to jump your bones just as bad but just be prepared that she is not madly in love with you as you are with her. Play it cool over the break don't text her nonstop. A simple text saying "just wanted to say hi how are you feeling" is ideal once in awhile. Don't let your insecurities get the best of you, women can pick up on it like its their job and is a huge red flag to them.

Overall it sounds like you kind of have her on the fence about you. As stated before women moreso than men want what they can't have and when you gave the slightest inclination that she couldnt have you she suddenly was more interested in you. You do not want to be in a relationship with this type of person where you have to manipulate her into liking you. They are not with you for the right reasons and will utlimatly be unfaithful to you. But if you want to ride it out and you two are friends on facebook take some pictures with some pretty girls doing fun stuff, it will make her extremely jealous and attracted to you!

She has problems for sure but it also sounds like you have some yourself. Your happiness should not depend on the love from another, it should only supplement the love you have for life and for yourself ofcourse. This is tough to digest even for myself as I've been in your shoes and in hindsight I could not believe how I could let myself get so carried away for a person who could not recipricate the feelings I was dishing out. I could be wrong about all of this but the message I want to give to you is just hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. If it works out; cool, if it doesnt; cool.



Quote:

shimishimiman said:
it would be in your best of interest to start mentally preparing for the break up.  long distance does not work, not matter how powerful either of you think the bond is.

you definitely know deep down that there is something wrong, or you would not have made this whole fucking thread to begin with.  happiness in a relationship most definitely does not stem from one party being completely neurotic and obsessed with the other.  you blame yourself saying you are a neurotic to begin with, but i don't think that's true - i think SHE just makes you neurotic.

i have been in this same situation before, and the whole thing blew up in my face something awful.  it fucking sucked and i have cut that bitch out of my life because there was no other way to deal with her stupid ass.  i loved her more than anything in the world and she used my love to fuel her ego and make me look like a jackass.

if you really want a solution to this, you need to tell her that you can't be in a long distance relationship and that you need to end it.  be fucking prepared to end it, and don't go back on your word.  even if you think you love this girl more than anything, you cannot keep torturing yourself with the prospect of something that is inevitably going to blow up in your face.

be strong dude, your weak insecurity regarding this girl is something she is most definitely aware of and something she will exploit.  its not because she's a bad person or because she doesn't love you, its just because you are ALLOWING her the opportunity to exploit it.

the only way to make yourself seem strong and attractive to her is to tell her you can't be long distance with her.  you need love and you need pussy, and she can't deliver either if she's way off in wherever doing whatever.

also, stop being in denial dude.  denial is a powerful thing, and if you keep trying to brush off all of this advice we are giving you, the shit most certainly will not work out and you will be a depressed fuckin wreck for a long time.

i am not you and i would be a liar if i said i am an expert on relationships or YOUR relationship for that matter, but the best solution to this is definitely for you to dump her before she dumps you.  tell her you are a confused wreck with her gone, and you can't keep this shit up.  you'd still like to be friends, but you have needs that she can't fulfill from a distance.  be straight up honest to her, but most of all be honest to yourself.  if you got a girl as hot or as special as her, you can definitely get another one.  just make sure you keep the upper hand, or you will crash and burn.




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OfflineTANSTAAFL
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Registered: 08/17/11
Posts: 76
Loc: P.N.W.
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
    #14943882 - 08/18/11 06:20 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

my apologies it was 5 am and i basically havn't slept in a week. let me see if i can translate for myself.what i finally get is why all of my past relationships ended i think its pretty obvious why things never take off in the first place. to start off with i was raised morman so my parents never let me hang out with girls unsupervised and what would you expect from someone who is raised to "wait until marriage" and i was basically grounded all of high school because they kept catching me with some weed or cigarettes(to them weed isn't just illegal its also sinful:rolleyes:). needless to say this stunted my social abilities with the ladies. to this day i can probably count on one hand how many times i have actually realized that a girl is into me without a buddy pointing it out or the girl being the one to make a move. so when i do end up with a girl i either drop the ball because i didn't know i was even in the game or she makes a move and then i become obsessed with this "amazing" chick that i can't believe actually likes me and i want to spend every second with. fast forward a few weeks she dumps me because i can't give her some breathing room. and i end up all sad and confused because i thought things were going great.this is pretty much the story of my life. to make a long story short i now now where and how i f'ed up in the past so hopefully from here on in i don't have to keep on repeating the same shit again and again.


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And that's all for now from just south of the great white north... :wave:


Edited by TANSTAAFL (08/18/11 06:38 PM)


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Offlineurbanwolf
Male


Registered: 12/03/09
Posts: 951
Loc: Universe; TX
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: TANSTAAFL]
    #14945516 - 08/19/11 01:39 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I haven't read a single line in this thread, but I would just like to add that very recently I admitted to a friend that I have known for years, that I have a crush on her.

At first it was both comforting and scarey. Afterward, everything turned out better than expected. And although it's to early to tell, we've already shared some intimate moments and had a few dates that I am going to cherish.



So basically, I finally understand what it means to be a confident man. :toast:

Good luck. :levitate:


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"One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that, an unjust law is no law at all.” -- Martin Luther King Jr.

"Seek not abroad, turn back into thyself, for in the inner man dwells the truth." -- St. Augustine


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