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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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I lost someone without the chance of saying goodbye
#14313376 - 04/18/11 07:24 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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In the past several years a sequence of events occurred in my personal life and as a result I aborted all contacts with one side of my family (lets call it side A for clarity).
A few days ago I learned that a member of that family side died. I've always maintained a good relationship with that person. I significantly reduced the communication with this family member partly because I moved to another country. A year ago I learned that this person showed open hatred towards family side B. I suspect that my disappearance could have been partly responsible for the deteriorating health conditions of that person.
Anyway I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I experience a mix of feelings ranging from apathy morphing into sadness and guilt. I feel that if I don't talk to someone about it will have a certain impact on my psychology.
Do you think that trying to repress these events would backfire at some point of my life. For example I do not think I can handle a mushroom trip at the moment as that would totally fuck up my current mental state.
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bigmike7104
Stranger

Registered: 07/12/10
Posts: 1,395
Loc: USA
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Re: I lost someone without the chance of saying goodbye [Re: mellowparty]
#14313696 - 04/18/11 08:21 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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i don't think repressing it would be a good idea cause then it would probably still be in your subconscious, though i'm not a psychologist .
why do you think the disappearance is what caused the death? it's not like sadness can kill someone, sounds like your blaming yourself too much
-------------------- Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines
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EmeraldEyes



Registered: 04/05/11
Posts: 57
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Re: I lost someone without the chance of saying goodbye [Re: mellowparty]
#14313877 - 04/18/11 09:04 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I lost someone last year that meant a lot to me but I hadn't been very close to in the last few months of her life.
I felt really guilty for a long time. I had so much regret in my heart.
In the end I realized that death happens. I couldn't control it.
Instead of beating yourself up for time lost with the person who passed away, enjoy the time you have with those still alive.
I did a lot of meditation after she died. I still feel the pangs of sadness of not getting a chance to say goodbye but I know that she wouldn't want me to live with regret. So, I live my life to the fullest and spend time with those who matter when I get the chance. Life is short. Make the most of the time you have and the time you have with others.
I hope things get better for you. My condolences to your loss.
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"Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded." -Abraham Lincoln
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Cherk
Fashionable



Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: I lost someone without the chance of saying goodbye [Re: mellowparty]
#14314186 - 04/18/11 10:01 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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get over yourself
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I have considered such matters. SIKE
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Psychoslut
The Mother Fucking Bear-o-dactyl

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 20,917
Loc: all up in ya
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Re: I lost someone without the chance of saying goodbye [Re: Cherk]
#14318088 - 04/19/11 03:24 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Dont be an ass. People really can die from sadness. But its usually married couples that have been together 50 years and one dies, a few weeks later the other dies from nothing explainable besides being grief.
But to the OP, I dont think you had anything to do with your loved one dieing, its not your fault at all.
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[quote]KristiMidocean said: Good now thats clear.WHO FUCKING CARES. If I am fat u all keep pointing it out like its suppose to be a secret.LIke u really have nothing better to do then make fat jokes. If o know its like I do I know yall can come up with NEW AND BETTER SHIT . This shit is old and boring . I left in the first place cause this shit got boring not because of the fat jokes . Fat jokes dont bother me but seriously its old[/quote]
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Cherk
Fashionable



Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: I lost someone without the chance of saying goodbye [Re: Psychoslut]
#14318822 - 04/19/11 06:00 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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getting over myself worked for me when I spent months laying around in the worst pain wanting to die
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I have considered such matters. SIKE
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