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Offlinepsillymathhead
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Registered: 04/16/11
Posts: 140
Loc: InnerSpace
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: A moderators guide to laundering money [Re: badchad]
    #14308077 - 04/17/11 06:30 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Open a pizza place.

I used to work for a company that made computer software for pizza places that was designed to provide an ""exact"" record of all transactions for tax purposes... it included a feature whereby one could evade taxes by ""forgetting"" some cash transactions, or you could cleanse money by have some epic months :wink:  Fortunately, I was just a tech so I was not involved with any of the hanky panky.... I am certain many of these places were money laundering outfits....


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"Geometry is knowledge of the eternally existent." ~ Pythagoras

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InvisibleStonehenge
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Registered: 06/20/04
Posts: 14,850
Loc: S.E.
Re: A moderators guide to laundering money [Re: psillymathhead]
    #14308207 - 04/17/11 06:52 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

badchad, that is a good idea but they tend to go back to the gift giver and ask nosy questions that they might not give the right answers to. Best to name a departed relative or friend. That way you can say "go ask them... oh i forgot they died" Gifts are not taxable but there is a limit, i think it's 15k a year and the gift giver is responsible for the tax, not the recipient. But if you say they gave you 50k in cash one year and you didn't deposit it right away, you run into reporting problems and "structuring" a deposit. Which is one of the silliest crimes i've heard of but you can get 5 years or more for it.

Psil, there are loads of businesses that operate mostly on cash. Just make your deposits and declare it. Now if you are trying to avoid any taxes, that gets more complicated. Declare a reasonable amount, spend some, some was a gift, etc and so on.

Here is a thought. Lets say you dig in your own property and find a stash of gold coins. These were not bought over the years from coin dealers for cash, no, you found them and declared them. Better check your states laws first and while you will owe some taxes, it does wash it nice and clean. Or perhaps it was dear uncle joe who gave them to you over the years and then you decided to sell them.  In that case you will owe taxes on the increase in value from the time he gave them to you to the time you sold them but not on the original gift.


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“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship.” (attributed to Alexis de Tocqueville political philosopher Circa 1835)

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OfflineHeffy
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Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 3,262
Loc: International Traveller
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: A moderators guide to laundering money [Re: LobsterSauce]
    #14310904 - 04/18/11 08:34 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I'm going to share my 5 step money laundering trick again.


Start a band.

Release an album.

Make album available for sale on Itunes(or comparable site).

Buy numerous $100 pre-paid credit cards at Wegmans with dirty money.

Buy hundreds of copies of your own album online.


Voila! Money is laundered, and you are now a successful musician.

I have a friend who has laundered tens of thousands in illegal income this way. It's pretty brilliant.


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I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund

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InvisibleStonehenge
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Re: A moderators guide to laundering money [Re: Heffy]
    #14311343 - 04/18/11 10:50 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Hef, that's a great idea if your main plan is to gain rock group cred. If your main goal is to launder money, it can be done easier. itunes takes a big piece out of each sale and you have to pay tax on the rest. Simply state you have a cash business, declare the 10's of thousands as cash income, pay regular taxes.

Variations on this are to buy gold or silver, claim a relative gave it to you, pay taxes only on the increase in value. The friend or relative might have died a long time ago.

Another variation is to start an internet begging site, have some "people" send you anonymous or fake name money orders which you claim as gifts. No taxes at all and you have a paper trail to show the tax man. This might be the best of all. Damn i'm good! Remember where you heard it.


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“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship.” (attributed to Alexis de Tocqueville political philosopher Circa 1835)

Trade list http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/18047755

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InvisibleBrainiac
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Registered: 04/29/06
Posts: 13,259
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Re: A moderators guide to laundering money [Re: LobsterSauce]
    #14322922 - 04/20/11 12:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Jimtown said:
Here,anything they consider to be proceeds of crime they can seize off you:thumbup:

Money,houses,cars etc.




They can take as long as they wont....And you can get up 3x times the time for doing it. witb one of throse card readers...Thanks to the patriot/ bsa acts...


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:Awesketch:

:cool: Fair is Fair :devil:

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