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Offlinecircularvortex
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Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK!
    #14307103 - 04/17/11 03:34 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Hey guys.  I started a new job out here in California, but found out that they do random piss tests.  I haven't gotten one yet, so I'm not even sure how they're done.  I'm hesitant to ask my fellow employees because it's a bit of an awkward subject.

Thing is though.....they all kinda seem like they would smoke weed, ya know?

I've been looking into it and it looks like having a medical marijuana card wouldn't even give me any protection (thanks Arnold!).

Anybody have any tips on passing random drug screens?  Somebody from around here told me they have to give you 24 hrs notice in California, but I'm having a hard time finding something to back that up.

Keeping this job is VERY important to me.  There's lots of room to move up, and I'm qualified to do so.  If it were a less important job I'd probably chance it and just smoke and hope for the best.  I know I'll hear a few "Don't smoke do your job" responses, but....come on.  I just moved to fucking California and I can't even smoke pot.  I'm surrounded by inexpensive, bomb ass weed that I can't touch and it's killing me.

Little help folks?


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.

For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.



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OfflineAntiEverything
im not a doctor
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Registered: 07/07/06
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: circularvortex]
    #14307110 - 04/17/11 03:34 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

dude ouch

that fucking blows

get a wizzinator.


--------------------
You are at once
both
the quiet
and
the confusion
of my heart.
-Franz Kafka


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Offlineaintgotnojob
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: circularvortex]
    #14307124 - 04/17/11 03:36 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Isn't there a sponsor that sells the legal stuff?  Wondersense I think?  The k2 worked for me but thats illegal now.  The best and cheapest way to pass a drug test is not to smoke:thumbup:


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OfflineInvaderShroom
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: circularvortex]
    #14307136 - 04/17/11 03:39 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

circularvortex said:
Hey guys.  I started a new job out here in California, but found out that they do random piss tests.  I haven't gotten one yet, so I'm not even sure how they're done.  I'm hesitant to ask my fellow employees because it's a bit of an awkward subject.

Thing is though.....they all kinda seem like they would smoke weed, ya know?

I've been looking into it and it looks like having a medical marijuana card wouldn't even give me any protection (thanks Arnold!).

Anybody have any tips on passing random drug screens?  Somebody from around here told me they have to give you 24 hrs notice in California, but I'm having a hard time finding something to back that up.

Keeping this job is VERY important to me.  There's lots of room to move up, and I'm qualified to do so.  If it were a less important job I'd probably chance it and just smoke and hope for the best.  I know I'll hear a few "Don't smoke do your job" responses, but....come on.  I just moved to fucking California and I can't even smoke pot.  I'm surrounded by inexpensive, bomb ass weed that I can't touch and it's killing me.

Little help folks?




what im curious about is what kind of job are you in that isnt protected by the medical system put in for marijuana patients? all i can really think would be government?


--------------------
How to Pass a drug test:D
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/14207008


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Offlinecircularvortex
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: aintgotnojob]
    #14307156 - 04/17/11 03:42 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I have some JWH-122.

It's not even so much the getting high that I miss.  I miss packing a bowl, and getting that first tasty hit, and smelling the nugs, and breaking it up, and passing the bowl around.....so many rituals I've had for so long that I can no longer enjoy :sad:


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.

For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.



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Offlinecircularvortex
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: InvaderShroom]
    #14307159 - 04/17/11 03:43 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Apparently none of them are protected by mmj.  Pretty bogus.


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.

For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.



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OfflineBargainBab
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: circularvortex]
    #14307194 - 04/17/11 03:49 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

1. Clean up and save piss for tests to come
2. Pay children for their piss
3. Get an open minded girlfriend
3.1 Place a funnel with surgical thing to a pouch on your side
3.2 Get her to pee in your mouth
3.3 Spark up in celebration


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OfflineReposadoXochipilli
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: BargainBab]
    #14307218 - 04/17/11 03:53 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

BargainBab said:

3.2 Get her to pee in your mouth






:urinate:

op sorry man other then having clean piss available to you there really isn't an option. get your card if you have not already and ask about the policy, they should be pretty open about it. GL and congrats on the new job


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OfflineEquipto


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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: circularvortex]
    #14307328 - 04/17/11 04:12 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

In my experiences "random" drug testing just means that if you get injured and try to claim workers comp they will "randomly" drug test you to see if you qualify. I would ask one of my co-workers, MJ can't be that big of a deal in cali, right?


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Invisibleuber_aj
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: circularvortex]
    #14307340 - 04/17/11 04:14 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Dude either stock up some clean urine or buy it synthetically. Mine came with a bottle that has a temp strip on it and some hand warmer thing to keep it hot. I use some stretchy medical cloth to hold it up by my thigh, have passed many spur of the moment drug tests this way.

Hell you can keep it in your car as long as the urine is dehydrated.


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Offlinecircularvortex
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: uber_aj]
    #14307506 - 04/17/11 04:41 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

How long does it take to mix the powdered synthetic urine and get it up to a proper temperature?

I'm not sure if this is gonna be a "Hey come here for a second we need to talk to you now go pee in this cup" kinda thing, or if they'll say, "Hey you've got a drug test tomorrow"

I REALLY fucking hope I can find something that will work for this place, cause god damn I haven't smoked weed in forever and hella want to.


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.

For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.



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Offlinemeatcakeman
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: circularvortex]
    #14307609 - 04/17/11 05:02 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

go to a smoke shop. buy one of those drinks that'll help you piss clean for a day or two. my friends swear by 'em and they seem to keep their jobs, which is surprising since they are all massive stoners. but, yeah, usually they will give you at least a 24 hr notice beforehand.

btw, where in california do you live?


--------------------
大开眼界

:awegroove:
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Hasta siempre, comandante.
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Invisibleuber_aj
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: circularvortex]
    #14307889 - 04/17/11 05:48 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

That depends on whether or not you have microwave access. They give you instructions in the package, worst case scenario it'd take an hour to warm it to a good temp range using nothing but hand friction.

I doubt they'll just spring it on you like Chris Hansen, you'll have a day's notice or so. If they make you go right then and there you could always foul the sample with water or bleach, or just say you went a few minutes ago.

It's pretty easy man, don't stress over it.


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Offlinemeatcakeman
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: uber_aj]
    #14307897 - 04/17/11 05:49 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

uber_aj said:
That depends on whether or not you have microwave access. They give you instructions in the package, worst case scenario it'd take an hour to warm it to a good temp range using nothing but hand friction.

I doubt they'll just spring it on you like Chris Hansen, you'll have a day's notice or so. If they make you go right then and there you could always foul the sample with water or bleach, or just say you went a few minutes ago.

It's pretty easy man, don't stress over it.




dude just carry the piss on you (literally attached to your skin). your body will heat it up to exactly the right temperature it needs to be.


--------------------
大开眼界

:awegroove:
:fbsnugs::fbsnugs::fbsnugs:
Hasta siempre, comandante.
:mattz:


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Invisibleuber_aj
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: meatcakeman]
    #14307923 - 04/17/11 05:55 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Well no shit, ofc you carry it against your body on the way to the drug test, but if it's random, what are you gonna do, carry a bottle of piss on you every day at work?

Not even candidguy carries it on his person...


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Offlinemeatcakeman
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: uber_aj]
    #14307933 - 04/17/11 05:57 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

uber_aj said:
Well no shit, ofc you carry it against your body on the way to the drug test, but if it's random, what are you gonna do, carry a bottle of piss on you every day at work?

Not even candidguy carries it on his person...




random doesn't mean you won't know about it. they usually, if not always, tell you before they piss test you.


--------------------
大开眼界

:awegroove:
:fbsnugs::fbsnugs::fbsnugs:
Hasta siempre, comandante.
:mattz:


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Offlinepropensity
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: meatcakeman]
    #14307958 - 04/17/11 06:01 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah it's not surprise piss tests


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Invisibleuber_aj
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: meatcakeman]
    #14307967 - 04/17/11 06:02 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Right, we agree on that, but waiting for body heat alone to warm up the mix would take a long ass time, if he's on short notice microwaving it for <10sec is the best answer.


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Offlinecircularvortex
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: uber_aj]
    #14308842 - 04/17/11 08:55 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I live in Stockton.

And keeping the piss in my truck's cab is probably a viable option.  I imagine it would stay fairly warm in there.  Maybe even too warm....

I suppose I can wait until I actually get piss tested so I'll know the procedure, and what kind of notice I'll have.


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.

For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.



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Offlinerealfuzzhead
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: InvaderShroom]
    #14308857 - 04/17/11 08:56 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

InvaderShroom said:
Quote:

circularvortex said:
Hey guys.  I started a new job out here in California, but found out that they do random piss tests.  I haven't gotten one yet, so I'm not even sure how they're done.  I'm hesitant to ask my fellow employees because it's a bit of an awkward subject.

Thing is though.....they all kinda seem like they would smoke weed, ya know?

I've been looking into it and it looks like having a medical marijuana card wouldn't even give me any protection (thanks Arnold!).

Anybody have any tips on passing random drug screens?  Somebody from around here told me they have to give you 24 hrs notice in California, but I'm having a hard time finding something to back that up.

Keeping this job is VERY important to me.  There's lots of room to move up, and I'm qualified to do so.  If it were a less important job I'd probably chance it and just smoke and hope for the best.  I know I'll hear a few "Don't smoke do your job" responses, but....come on.  I just moved to fucking California and I can't even smoke pot.  I'm surrounded by inexpensive, bomb ass weed that I can't touch and it's killing me.

Little help folks?




what im curious about is what kind of job are you in that isnt protected by the medical system put in for marijuana patients? all i can really think would be government?





none are protected. That law is in progress of being put in but isnt yet, so far all businesses need to run by the Federal Drug Free Workplace act.


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Offlinecircularvortex
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: realfuzzhead]
    #14308879 - 04/17/11 08:59 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

From what I read there was a bill in 2008 that the legislature voted in, but Schwarenfucker vetoed it :sad:


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.

For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.



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Offlinerealfuzzhead
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: circularvortex]
    #14308890 - 04/17/11 09:00 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

:sad:

tis why i dont have a job. Id rather smoke weed and go to school full time.

soon enough though.


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: circularvortex]
    #14308917 - 04/17/11 09:02 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

If you have an unsupervised test (which probably is) and want a virtually foolproof method buy one or two of those real powdered human urine kits...
sounds dumb but it works. hella expensive but well worth it,
just a little vial of powdered urine guaranteed clean, same samples they use to calibrate the machines.

add some warm water to powder at home ~30 mins before the test, comes with a hand warmer heater, wrap it around the vial and crotch it. Comes with a little temp strip on the vial so you can make sure it's the right temp before giving them the sample.
For a sample to pass I believe it has to be between 90-100F.
I've used it to get a previous job and passed with flying colors, as long as you have a little bit of advanced notice it's not problem.. and they don't usually just go oh go take a drug test right this second if it's not probation or someshit. If it's for a job they probably tell you to just go to a clinic at a certain time. The clinic person just gives you a cup and stands outside the bathroom.
Also went that route because I heard some of the newer machines can detect synthetic urines


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Offlinecircularvortex
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: Shroomism]
    #14338105 - 04/23/11 12:04 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomism said:
If you have an unsupervised test (which probably is) and want a virtually foolproof method buy one or two of those real powdered human urine kits...
sounds dumb but it works. hella expensive but well worth it,
just a little vial of powdered urine guaranteed clean, same samples they use to calibrate the machines.

add some warm water to powder at home ~30 mins before the test, comes with a hand warmer heater, wrap it around the vial and crotch it. Comes with a little temp strip on the vial so you can make sure it's the right temp before giving them the sample.
For a sample to pass I believe it has to be between 90-100F.
I've used it to get a previous job and passed with flying colors, as long as you have a little bit of advanced notice it's not problem.. and they don't usually just go oh go take a drug test right this second if it's not probation or someshit. If it's for a job they probably tell you to just go to a clinic at a certain time. The clinic person just gives you a cup and stands outside the bathroom.
Also went that route because I heard some of the newer machines can detect synthetic urines



Quote:

Shroomism said:
If you have an unsupervised test (which probably is) and want a virtually foolproof method buy one or two of those real powdered human urine kits...
sounds dumb but it works. hella expensive but well worth it,
just a little vial of powdered urine guaranteed clean, same samples they use to calibrate the machines.

add some warm water to powder at home ~30 mins before the test, comes with a hand warmer heater, wrap it around the vial and crotch it. Comes with a little temp strip on the vial so you can make sure it's the right temp before giving them the sample.
For a sample to pass I believe it has to be between 90-100F.
I've used it to get a previous job and passed with flying colors, as long as you have a little bit of advanced notice it's not problem.. and they don't usually just go oh go take a drug test right this second if it's not probation or someshit. If it's for a job they probably tell you to just go to a clinic at a certain time. The clinic person just gives you a cup and stands outside the bathroom.
Also went that route because I heard some of the newer machines can detect synthetic urines




Thanks!  I'm definitely gonna buy a couple of these to keep in my vehicle at all times. 

I took my first drug test 3 days ago.  That's right.  I took a piss test on 4/20.  When I emptied my pockets before going into the bathroom I glanced at my cellphone.  It was exactly 4:20PM.  The universe hates me.


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.

For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.



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Offlinecitricacidx
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Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: Shroomism]
    #14338137 - 04/23/11 12:09 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomism said:
If you have an unsupervised test (which probably is) and want a virtually foolproof method buy one or two of those real powdered human urine kits...
sounds dumb but it works. hella expensive but well worth it,
just a little vial of powdered urine guaranteed clean, same samples they use to calibrate the machines.

add some warm water to powder at home ~30 mins before the test, comes with a hand warmer heater, wrap it around the vial and crotch it. Comes with a little temp strip on the vial so you can make sure it's the right temp before giving them the sample.
For a sample to pass I believe it has to be between 90-100F.
I've used it to get a previous job and passed with flying colors, as long as you have a little bit of advanced notice it's not problem.. and they don't usually just go oh go take a drug test right this second if it's not probation or someshit. If it's for a job they probably tell you to just go to a clinic at a certain time. The clinic person just gives you a cup and stands outside the bathroom.
Also went that route because I heard some of the newer machines can detect synthetic urines




holy shit... $43.95 for 1 test passing? damn


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Invisibleifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO Flag
Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: circularvortex]
    #14338145 - 04/23/11 12:11 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

circularvortex said:
Thanks!  I'm definitely gonna buy a couple of these to keep in my vehicle at all times. 

I took my first drug test 3 days ago.  That's right.  I took a piss test on 4/20.  When I emptied my pockets before going into the bathroom I glanced at my cellphone.  It was exactly 4:20PM.  The universe hates me.




:rofl2: What a cosmic joke.

Yeah, substitution is your best bet.

http://boards.cannabis.com/drug-testing/1146-substitution-tips-tricks-guidelines.html


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Invisiblerackem
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Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
Re: Living in California, New Job. Great, right? ......RANDOM PISS TESTS FUCK! [Re: ifoundwaldo]
    #14338165 - 04/23/11 12:13 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

keep looking for a new job.

but in the mean time scope the place out and see how random the random drug tests are.

california companies dont want to spend the money on the tests being with the economy the way it is and everything.

go have some beers with your fellow coworkers and see whats up.. thats the quickest way to get the lowdown


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