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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Invisibleuber_aj
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Church
    #14305656 - 04/17/11 11:14 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Didn't that shit used to suck? I'd just be getting out right now, eager to get home, eat, jerk off and go back to the sleep that was rudely interrupted for that pretentious, pseudo-political cash grab.

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OfflineGreenvalley
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Re: Church [Re: uber_aj]
    #14305665 - 04/17/11 11:15 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Amen brother

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OfflineNewWavePeace
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Re: Church [Re: uber_aj]
    #14305667 - 04/17/11 11:16 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I never stepped foot inside a church.

:flamethrow:


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See I'm at one with the waves, whereas my wifes breasts are at one with her knees.

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OfflinePreparationH
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Re: Church [Re: NewWavePeace]
    #14305693 - 04/17/11 11:21 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Every time in church when we had to kneel, I looked at the statue of Mary and got a boner, EVERY TIME and I don't know why.

It was awkward in gradeschool too because I'd pop a boner then we had to stand up and shake peoples hands, I was that awkward kid leaning forward to disguise my immaculate erection to shake your hand.

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Invisibleuber_aj
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Re: Church [Re: PreparationH]
    #14305707 - 04/17/11 11:23 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

:curbyourenthusiasm:

I wanked it several times in the church bathroom, once to a pamphlet w/ a picture of Mary on it. When I turned sixteen I'd have a post-wank cigarette and come back in feelingoodman.

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InvisibleMad_Larkin

Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
Re: Church [Re: uber_aj]
    #14305728 - 04/17/11 11:27 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

The nearest I get to a church is when we blaze bud in the graveyard after college sometimes. :vaped:

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OfflineSprezzatura
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Re: Church [Re: uber_aj]
    #14305735 - 04/17/11 11:28 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

uber_aj said:
Didn't that shit used to suck? I'd just be getting out right now, eager to get home, eat, jerk off and go back to the sleep that was rudely interrupted for that pretentious, pseudo-political cash grab.




What exactly do you mean by pseudo-political?


--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:

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Offlinesunset_mission
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Re: Church [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #14305743 - 04/17/11 11:30 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Sprezzatura said:
Quote:

uber_aj said:
Didn't that shit used to suck? I'd just be getting out right now, eager to get home, eat, jerk off and go back to the sleep that was rudely interrupted for that pretentious, pseudo-political cash grab.




What exactly do you mean by pseudo-political?




Didn'tcha know brah? Religion's just a tool to keep the sheeple in check, afraid and obedient. :tarantino::billnye::fonz::lahey:

Edited by sunset_mission (04/17/11 11:33 AM)

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Invisibleuber_aj
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Re: Church [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #14305781 - 04/17/11 11:39 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Sprezzatura said:
Quote:

uber_aj said:
Didn't that shit used to suck? I'd just be getting out right now, eager to get home, eat, jerk off and go back to the sleep that was rudely interrupted for that pretentious, pseudo-political cash grab.




What exactly do you mean by pseudo-political?




Political in the sense of running it with a board of deacons and shit, there's a whole side to churches that most people don't see. My dad was an evangelical pastor, so I got a second hand look at it. The most hardcore church members usually have a hierarchy that allows them to feel important and make minor decisions in how the church is ran. They bicker like anti-booze women from the 20s about petty doctrinal differences and then go home and make fun of each others ideas, calling them crazy and out of touch with reality. It's a fantastic irony.

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OfflineAnthony917
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Re: Church [Re: uber_aj]
    #14305857 - 04/17/11 11:55 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

uber_aj said:
:curbyourenthusiasm:

I wanked it several times in the church bathroom, once to a pamphlet w/ a picture of Mary on it. When I turned sixteen I'd have a post-wank cigarette and come back in feelingoodman.




haha ahhh man that's pretty bad.
I almost had sex in a church with my ex, but I decided against it, and had sex on the church lawn instead :awedance:

I would never masturbate to pics of mary in the church bathroom though!! Hahaha fuck that's funny


Anyway, church doesn't have to suck :shrug: I went to church for a while, and as long as you look for the deeper message being presented then at least you can get something outta it. I definitely heard/did some things in church that made me feel better about myself.


--------------------
Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17
Trippin? Click Me




What is life? I'm tired of life...

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OfflineFunguspants
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Re: Church [Re: uber_aj]
    #14305940 - 04/17/11 12:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

was god awful.


--------------------
:macdre::scumbagsteve::chillin::scumbagsteve::chillin::scumbagsteve::macdre:


AWWWWWWWWWL DAY SUCKA WAT

"I... I don't want to die"

"BITCH SOMETIMES WE GOTTA DO THANGS DAT WE AINT WANNA DO"

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Offlinesunset_mission
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Re: Church [Re: Anthony917]
    #14305961 - 04/17/11 12:13 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anthony917 said:
Quote:

uber_aj said:
:curbyourenthusiasm:

I wanked it several times in the church bathroom, once to a pamphlet w/ a picture of Mary on it. When I turned sixteen I'd have a post-wank cigarette and come back in feelingoodman.




haha ahhh man that's pretty bad.
I almost had sex in a church with my ex, but I decided against it, and had sex on the church lawn instead :awedance:

I would never masturbate to pics of mary in the church bathroom though!! Hahaha fuck that's funny


Anyway, church doesn't have to suck :shrug: I went to church for a while, and as long as you look for the deeper message being presented then at least you can get something outta it. I definitely heard/did some things in church that made me feel better about myself.




Holy fuck amirite :tarantino:

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Invisibleuber_aj
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Re: Church [Re: sunset_mission]
    #14305991 - 04/17/11 12:18 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

sunset_mission said:
Holy fuck amirite :tarantino:





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OfflineSprezzatura
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Re: Church [Re: uber_aj]
    #14306207 - 04/17/11 12:53 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

uber_aj said:
Quote:

Sprezzatura said:
Quote:

uber_aj said:
Didn't that shit used to suck? I'd just be getting out right now, eager to get home, eat, jerk off and go back to the sleep that was rudely interrupted for that pretentious, pseudo-political cash grab.




What exactly do you mean by pseudo-political?




Political in the sense of running it with a board of deacons and shit, there's a whole side to churches that most people don't see. My dad was an evangelical pastor, so I got a second hand look at it. The most hardcore church members usually have a hierarchy that allows them to feel important and make minor decisions in how the church is ran. They bicker like anti-booze women from the 20s about petty doctrinal differences and then go home and make fun of each others ideas, calling them crazy and out of touch with reality. It's a fantastic irony.




Bickering like Lucy Page Gaston and her 1920's prohibitionists is politics :smile:

My ancestral religious background is Polish-Catholic, but I was raised Christian Baptist, I also had family members of the church.

I think it's interesting that people call Churches "cash grabbers" and most often with the idea that their income relies solely on donations and collection plates. 
I was pretty big into church and its happenings at a younger age and I came to learn of how the Churches actually make a large portion of their income; because our Reverend made $60,000/yr with his mortgage paid by the church, and this was back in the mid/latter 90's, so obviously that kind of an allowance wasn't sustained by collection plate donations.

I learned how the overall religious institute of churches, whom homage the Vatican, accumulated wealth and how they acquired it.  It is largely within Real Estate that they obtain their financial gain; the 'Church' owns a lot of property and they're notorious for buying elderly people's homes at reduced prices for large profit margins in exchange for retirement center services (which they also own).

I wont reveal his name, but I was close with a Reverend who I came to learn was a swindler of Will money also.  Often times women outlive men, and when he learned of an elderly woman who was widowed that was a part of the church, he basically moved into her life and took advantage of her vulnerability and the fact that elderly women were strangers to independence and household decision-making and often times she would Will a large portion of the estate's wealth to the Church.  The last shady deal I heard he was a part of was the signing over of a property to the Church that had a market value of  $1,250,000 (mortgage paid off ages ago with huge equity) water-front home in the wealthy side of the community I grew up in (which was mostly lower-middle class).


I know what you mean by pseudo-political, but there's nothing pseudo about their political executions.


I consider myself Catholic as a respect to my heritage; which my ancestors were when they immigrated to the U.S. in the late 1800's, but I'm a stone cold Atheist in actuality.


--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:

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Invisibleuber_aj
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Re: Church [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #14306423 - 04/17/11 01:33 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Interesting, my background came with a "Catholics aren't real Christians" slant, I probably wouldn't have used the word pseudo if our church had ties to the Vatican.

Regardless, it's laughable how people think their offering plate donations are going to "god's will". Pay no mind to the new building and marketing expenses, that's part of god's plan to attract people to him. :facepalm:

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OfflineAnthony917
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Re: Church [Re: uber_aj]
    #14306506 - 04/17/11 01:49 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

uber_aj said:
Interesting, my background came with a "Catholics aren't real Christians" slant, I probably wouldn't have used the word pseudo if our church had ties to the Vatican.

Regardless, it's laughable how people think their offering plate donations are going to "god's will". Pay no mind to the new building and marketing expenses, that's part of god's plan to attract people to him. :facepalm:




think about it like this. the people pay the church to pay the pastor. He provides an invaluable service for a lot of people, so they have no problem giving money. Also, that money goes to support church functions, building improvements, and other things that HELP the church.

So, the people get a service, and pay to make that service more enjoyable. It's basically a business :shrug:


--------------------
Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17
Trippin? Click Me




What is life? I'm tired of life...

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Invisibleuber_aj
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Re: Church [Re: Anthony917]
    #14306634 - 04/17/11 02:13 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Exactly, it is a business and it should be taxed like one. I don't have any trouble understanding how the church operates, I'm just opposed to the whole charade b/c I found the people, messages and music to be uncreative, repressive and on many levels, totally fucking insane.

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OfflineAnthony917
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Re: Church [Re: uber_aj]
    #14306783 - 04/17/11 02:38 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

uber_aj said:
Exactly, it is a business and it should be taxed like one. I don't have any trouble understanding how the church operates, I'm just opposed to the whole charade b/c I found the people, messages and music to be uncreative, repressive and on many levels, totally fucking insane.




I think there are definitely a lot of people who take church and it's message FAR too seriously/literally, and yes, you're right, there is a lot of BULLSHIT that happens in church.

I would always try and sift through the bullshit to find the message, sometimes it was easier than others, but ultimately I found that it comes down to loving and appreciating everybody, regardless of their system of beliefs.


--------------------
Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17
Trippin? Click Me




What is life? I'm tired of life...

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OfflineROFL_my_ WAFFLE


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Re: Church [Re: uber_aj]
    #14306832 - 04/17/11 02:48 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

uber_aj said:
:curbyourenthusiasm:

I wanked it several times in the church bathroom, once to a pamphlet w/ a picture of Mary on it. When I turned sixteen I'd have a post-wank cigarette and come back in feelingoodman.





I also jerked off in the church bathroom as a tween. :lolsy:


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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


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