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InvisibleBrainstem
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Registered: 07/31/10
Posts: 1,969
Loc: In my shell Flag
What do y'all think of this ?
    #14302523 - 04/16/11 06:23 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1XvmvvNc_A

A song I wrote a while back;


I'll start at the beginnin'
I had a few things on my mind
Like how could I start singin'
When there's answers still to find
Well it don't matter now
It don't matter no more
Just like all the water
You've been thirstin' for.

Yeah the muddy waters
That flowed under rigger bridge
That passed under rigger bridge
A lot more has passed since

A lot more has passed since
That day last May
And time's a great thing
When you take it day by day
But even day old blues
can bend the light of day
And think naught of the time it takes
For me to take your breath away.

And as the dominos fall
You'll think you're standing tall
But you're just like all the others
That came and went before.

So I'll start at the beginning
In the grand circle of time
And time may yield some truth
Or just leave me more confused

Oh tell me what my heart's for
If it ain't for lovin' you
Don't tell me what my heart's for
If it ain't for lovin' you.


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OfflineXUL
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Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
Loc: America Flag
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: What do y'all think of this ? [Re: Brainstem]
    #14303079 - 04/16/11 08:08 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I think it could have something to it but its hard to hear from your recording.

I like the guitar riff but I think it would be alot more interesting if you added some guitar breaks or a deeper level of composition with some interesting guitar parts.

I cant really comment on the voice too much because I cant hear it that well. It sounds like your hitting the notes though. Your vocal finale in the end was pretty weak in my opinion. I think you could take it another step and really unleash some emotion. Your singing sounded really low and monotone which might be your style.

I enjoyed the listen. Nice!!


--------------------
TRUMP 2020


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InvisibleBrainstem
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Registered: 07/31/10
Posts: 1,969
Loc: In my shell Flag
Re: What do y'all think of this ? [Re: XUL]
    #14304570 - 04/17/11 03:12 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Thanks for the critique XUL, I'll work it a bit more. :thumbup:


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