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Anonymous #1

I'm Stuck, Please Help Me
    #14298702 - 04/15/11 11:33 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I guess i'm an alcoholic. Or a drugaholic. I can sit here for hours, or sleep for many many hours, and not feel better. I can sit around for days not doing shit (drug-wise), and i don't feel any better. But i toke some weed and down some beers, and I'm social, I'm happy. I pop some acid: I'm upbeat, albeit tripped, down to jive with some tunes, or a movie.

What I'm fucking getting at is without some kind of strong chemical in my system, i don't feel like, and therefore don't ever, do anything. I just sit around, and thereby fall asleep.

But you know what, it isn't just that, if i don't have some kind of STIMULATION, i go insane. Music, movies, drugs, they're all intwined into it. Or maybe it's the fact of my current life. I can't go into more detail because it would defy the anon, but this is just weird..

Before anything today, before i toked or anything, i felt better just watching Super Troopers, the beginning part. Cause it made me laugh. What the hell did we do 400 and all the other years before, go to the bazzar and hope some dumbshit made an ass out of himself, so we could all laugh like i do to this?

I hope not, and i never thought so, but then again I've never lived before my time. I don't know what it was like to never have TV, movies, music, endless "entertainment" to divert the senses and feeling away from you're own life. You're own path..

I want to get into meditation. I've already lucid dreamt, and i think that's why my backup is just a shutdown and sleep: because i really do like to dream. I dream and remember parts of them almost every night, and it's always something new, even if it's very similar to a previous, it's never the same. Just like life i guess, every-day's just a little bit different, even if very much the same.

I don't want to be like this. I want to be able to come back and just take care of my plants, or my pets, or myself, and be happy about it. BUT I CAN'T. I don't even remember a time when i could fully.

It's a prison of my mind. The soft flutter of the florescent lights above. The maddening of the keystrokes. I'm getting tired of it all.

I don't want to be tired of it all. I'm young, and i want to live. But i won't let myself? Can't let myself? Meditation, a softening of the mind/spirit, an inner gateway to something deeper, something more than the surface thoughts/emotions. I need that, or i will never get out of here.

And no, i want a girlfriend, i want a better life and some kind of direction, but i do NEED some kind of connection deeper than what i have with myself, or i WILL rot from the inside out.

And i have no idea how to achieve that.

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Offlinemoi
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Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 843
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: I'm Stuck, Please Help Me [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14299677 - 04/16/11 06:00 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

EXACTLY my problems, dude. i have no fun doing anything, except for doing drugs. this was different before i was a stoner though. so right now i'm assuming that i fucked up my brain with smoking weed and/or bad lifestyle.



so i'm changing my life now, stopped doing any drugs, trying to be more active (it's tough if nothing is fun for you at all)....




i have no idea what to do really :frown:

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Offlinemoi
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Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 843
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: I'm Stuck, Please Help Me [Re: moi]
    #14301840 - 04/16/11 03:52 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

damn, no one to help us :P

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InvisibleKid_Orgo
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Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 5,514
Loc: Hale-Bopp
Re: I'm Stuck, Please Help Me [Re: moi]
    #14302781 - 04/16/11 07:12 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

moi said:
so i'm changing my life now, stopped doing any drugs, trying to be more active (it's tough if nothing is fun for you at all)....

i have no idea what to do really :frown:




Keep at it.

You adjusted to sitting around doing nothing, you'll adjust to being active, and you'll eventually get happier.


--------------------
He was a cowboy in one of the seven days a week fights. No business, no hangout; no friends, nothing; just what you pick up and what you need.

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Invisibleelliev
(ノ´∀`*)ノ

Registered: 04/10/11
Posts: 414
Loc: bay area
Re: I'm Stuck, Please Help Me [Re: moi]
    #14302850 - 04/16/11 07:27 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

moi said:
damn, no one to help us :P




:tickle:

i know how that feels, OP. derp

but, have you ever considered going out to meet new people? new hobbies?


--------------------

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Offlinemoi
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Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 843
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: I'm Stuck, Please Help Me [Re: elliev]
    #14306279 - 04/17/11 01:08 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

meeting new people is what i wanna do now. but i'm not as extrovert as you, yet. actually i'm fucking shy. np though.

also started going to the gym. should count as a new hobby.

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Offlinemoi
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Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 843
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: I'm Stuck, Please Help Me [Re: Kid_Orgo]
    #14306361 - 04/17/11 01:22 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Kid_Orgo said:
Quote:

moi said:
so i'm changing my life now, stopped doing any drugs, trying to be more active (it's tough if nothing is fun for you at all)....

i have no idea what to do really :frown:




Keep at it.

You adjusted to sitting around doing nothing, you'll adjust to being active, and you'll eventually get happier.



actually i'm kinda happy. but a shitload of old hobbies (and all my responsibilities) completely stopped being fun for me... all at the same time. i can only assume that it's a THC/lifestyle-induced problem. i have no fucking clue. gonna find out, i hope.

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Offlinemoi
Stranger


Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 843
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: I'm Stuck, Please Help Me [Re: moi]
    #14341247 - 04/23/11 11:15 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

damn.. was at a club today, had quite a lot of fun, tried talking to like 15 girls, asking if they wanna go outside and talk. no. none... still cool that i didnt care in the slightest. got in a fight on the way home. sucked :smile:.


damnnnnn. i dont really feel bad now.. but come on... 15 girls and no one was interested? ah damnit.


actually i do feel a little bad now. FML.

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Anonymous #2

Re: I'm Stuck, Please Help Me [Re: moi]
    #14341755 - 04/24/11 01:24 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Girls at the club are either there as a group of friends, hardly interested in meeting new guys or superficial (with or without a group of friends) and can be quite harsh of judgement.  I wouldn't take it personally, the former might be preoccupied while the latter has lots to choose from.

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