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Registered: 08/31/99
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Can you relate to this?
    #1428880 - 04/04/03 03:14 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I've noticed recently that I've built up an astonishing talent:

I have within me the automatic ability to conjur self-deceiving excuses to avoid uncomfortable situations.

Let me elaborate. Let's say for example that I'm on vacation, staying with a relative, and I make the foolish mistake of spilling an entire carton of milk on the floor. After cleaning it up, I decide I should probably replace the milk before the relatives arrive home.

But! Oh Geez, I'd better check my email. I'm expecting an invoice for that item I ordered. Oh geez, I'd better try to get in touch with that person, get some details on meeting up this weekend. Oh geez, I'd better take a shower before I go. Oh geez, I'd better check my email again, in case that invoice arrived. Uh oh, the floor is dirty, I should sweep up. Heck, why don't I mop the whole place.

Before I know it, the relative has arrived home to find that there is no milk in the fridge. I can go the rest of the week before I finally wise up to the fact that I never did replace the milk because I was too afraid of venturing to the store in a strange town I've never been in before.

Once I started catching on to this ability, I started noticing that I've been applying that technique to all areas of my life, for years now.

Am I alone on this one? Can any of you relate to this at all? It's almost as though I have a second Self running the show, keeping me out of trouble despite my own better judgement.

Any reponse is appreciated,



:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
Gyroscope full album available SoundCloud or MySpace

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Re: Can you relate to this? [Re: Ped]
    #1429191 - 04/04/03 05:18 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I found myself doing things to avoid a seemingly small thing like avoiding akward situations etc.. But It was only hinting at the larger promblem. I lie to myself :frown:
I try to never lie and consider myself honest..but I couldnt see I had never faced the lies I always told myself..whats wierd is I would always hear that line to, but I couldnt see it. I am glad to say I am now dealing with it.
My biggest one was " I dont care what other people think "
I realized how often I would think and say that.. I notice so many people saying it but no one seems to think.
I realized as soon as I was done saying it I would sub-consciously/consciously think I hope that sounded cool... making the statement pointless. :smirk:

I now understand that my ego does care what others think..and probally always will.  It is only my true self(whatever that is ) that truelly does not care,  so I and god(whether he excists or not ) are the only ones whose thoughts on the true me really matter. Since every one else judges my ego, I already know what others think of my true self.
So I am my own self-therapist.  I truely have faced up to the truth about myself, it was very hard to do - but needed to be done.
Do you think yours is something like that?
I see everyone lying to themselves..or maybe better put - unwilling to face themselves -
But it is not my place to say this to them, they have to realize it on there own, or else they will just say he is lieying to me, and do it again.
iye.. Its a hard thing to face, but when you have have seen your own lies laid out for what they are, you realize how your better than that :laugh:
Yet you had to make the mistakes to learn from them..no regrets.. You just keep learning and apply.
It is so peaceful knowing your honest with yourself.. Feels a burden is lifted.
For me it had alot to do with letting go of hate. I realized all these lies to myself were known to my sub-conscious for what they are- it was my conscious mind that had to deal with them, and forgive myself.  I had built up a sub-conscious self hate, that I am still working on.. its tuff, but just knowing I am doing something about it makes me feel sooo much better.

sorry if I got to far off topic, hope this helps.   

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Re: Can you relate to this? [Re: Ped]
    #1429229 - 04/04/03 05:37 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quite astute of you to notice that about yourself  :wink:.  Can I ask if you were stoned at the time?  Just wondering because I usually get the same kind of insights about my personality when i'm stoned.

Anyway..all you can really do is consciously try to change.  You're halfway there already.  Continue to pay attention to your thoughts.


Edited by Revelation (04/04/03 05:39 PM)

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Re: Can you relate to this? [Re: Revelation]
    #1430326 - 04/05/03 12:53 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

shaggy101, I am able to note a number of common threads between your post, and my own trends of thinking. It is very comforting not to feel unique.

Revelation, I've been an avid pot smoker for just under a year now. In this past year, I've made a great number of distinctions between what I was clinging to, and what is [more likely to be] real. I'm sure marijuana played a roll in this bit of self-insight, but this was something that I had to cultivate, to realize slowly. There was some point in time when I became aware of this habit, but the habit itself worked to defeat the line of thought.


:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
Gyroscope full album available SoundCloud or MySpace

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Re: Can you relate to this? [Re: Ped]
    #1431038 - 04/05/03 11:33 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I do that peddy, but when I do it, I'm justifying my procrastination, like right now for example....I turned on the computer to do my homework (which I want to do, but really don't want to do) but before I do my homework I have to make sure I won't be distracted by my desire to come here....so here I am...must read everything first so I won't wonder about it, and check emails, in case theres an email about the homework, then I should probably take a shower....cuz I may not have time later...and get dressed but to get dressed I'll have to clean my room....cuz I can't find my socks....and then I should eat something so that I don't get hungry while I'm trying to do my homework...so I'll make some food....and clean up because I don't want to leave a mess....by this time I'll need to start getting ready to go to work and won't have time for homework........

~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

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Re: Can you relate to this? [Re: Gillette]
    #1432527 - 04/05/03 11:52 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I can totally relate to all the examples on this page.

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