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InvisibleThe Whale

Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc: Flag
I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation
    #14286597 - 04/13/11 08:53 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I want your opinion.

Here's the skinny:

I'm wealthy to the point (see, I'm positive to the point of even considering myself "wealthy") that the basic struggles of day-to-day finances and work loads are minimal. Further, all of my basic needs and many of my advanced or emotional needs, are taken care of and continue to be nourished by my various experiences in the world which I co-create. Additionally, I am (consider myself to be) relatively successful in terms of higher education, physical appearance, etc. Hence a lot of my free time has been spent cultivating a spiritual practice and existence of reading, meditation, music practice, communion with nature, etc. I've eagerly devoured esoteric and mystic traditions and not only fully "believe" them, but have actually become them - they are operant in my everyday life.

Here's the problem(s):
  • People close to me have picked up on my empathetic and compassionate qualities and usually only communicate their problems to me, but to an incessant degree. I carry the emotional weight of everyone who is close to me and it's draining. But more so, which is partly my own fault, I am developing a compulsion that compels me to see most of everyone else as needy, suffering individuals - akin to the true intentions of interpersonal communication that manifest when groups of people take LSD. I realize this mindset is marked by ego inflation.
  • No one stays on their high horse for long. This blissful beauty that I have developed, both internally as a spiritual creature and externally as a member of society, is likely to collapse or undergo some radical change just due to the fact that as a dynamic individual, I'm likely to attract this very change in order to induce a new variety of personal growth. No one makes it out without a little mud on their boots; suffering to some extent is inevitable.
  • Yet, I have suffered in my past... a lot. Part of the identity I enjoy embracing - especially the one I've embodied for the past couple of years - is one that has been born out of difficult life lessons. To return to the depressed and hopeless mindset from which the current "me" has arisen would be a nightmare.
  • Thus, my fear is that sooner or later I will be unable to continue this path of progress and will become pessimistic and negative as many of those around me, who are currently as unable as I am to see the beautiful magic in the world - the profundity in the simplicity. And this horrifies me. In short, despite a part of me that acknowledges the illusion and dichotomy of the "Self," I am scared of becoming the "other."

    Thanks for reading.


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InvisibleThe Whale

Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc: Flag
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: The Whale]
    #14286682 - 04/13/11 09:05 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Another thing I should add:

Today while on the "outskirts" of town I realized how much I have isolated myself. I shop at organic stores, live in an alternative neighborhood downtown, read intellectual blogs and digest information that I can not only understand but actively contribute to. I grasp philosophy and play in a band. I have traveled the world, time and time again.

In other words, I'm a very spoiled urban creature that simultaneously rejects urban culture. It's pretentious.

But what happened today is I encountered the material mall culture and all of the mindless consumers running around spending their hard earned middle-class money on complete and utter bullshit. I saw them in drive-thru restaurants in their over-priced SUVs consuming trash food that makes their ass swell like the ego of a Whale. They look unhappy and empty, yet they dig their own graves.

And the whole time I was thinking to myself...

Fucking peasants.


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InvisibleThe Whale

Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc: Flag
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: The Whale]
    #14286914 - 04/13/11 09:43 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

My girlfriend just spontaneously texts and says "I'm not in a good mood, so I won't bother your peace."

This is still a form of reaching out and indirectly sharing negativity. It implies: You're OK, but I'm not, so continue.

Am I just really paranoid? Niggas be stealin' my bright light.


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Invisibleahchela
Tourist
Male


Registered: 03/01/11
Posts: 399
Loc: Pacific North West
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: The Whale]
    #14286948 - 04/13/11 09:49 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

:sip:

So you feel that you've made a lot of progress, but are experiencing some kind of apathy?

Do you practice any art form(s)?


--------------------
Psychedelics will not give you a lobotomy, but tv will.

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InvisibleThe Whale

Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc: Flag
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: ahchela]
    #14286988 - 04/13/11 09:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I've made a lot of progress, yes. Plus I laugh constantly by taking life extremely seriously (that is to say, by not taking it so fucking seriously).

I'm not apathetic. I care about people, but from this vantage point - and call it what you will - it just seems so many people are emotionally needy and spiritually bereft [I have never used the word "bereft" once in my life, I even had to do a dictionary search just now; not sure where that came from].

As for art, I play music, write short essays, take photos, and occasionally dance on the weekends. Why?


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Invisiblec0sm0nautt
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Registered: 05/19/08
Posts: 10,303
Loc: The Astral Realm
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: The Whale]
    #14287101 - 04/13/11 10:15 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Seems like you have it all figured out. :lol: What exactly do you want us to tell you? You should try looking at your problems as keys to more understanding - in that case no one really has problems. Seems like you identify a lot with what you think you are, but what will all that be in 100 years? :strokebeard:

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InvisibleThe Whale

Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc: Flag
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: c0sm0nautt]
    #14287129 - 04/13/11 10:20 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

c0sm0nautt said:
Seems like you have it all figured out. :lol:




I realize it's arrogant and egotistical, as I implied.

Quote:

What exactly do you want us to tell you?




If positivity and meditation can be isolating, or to what extent identifying with oneself is subject to change. 

Quote:

You should try looking at your problems as keys to more understanding




I'm definitely grateful for them, however trivial relative to other problems.

Quote:

Seems like you identify a lot with what you think you are, but what will all that be in 100 years?




One of the problems, ironically, is that there are few problems, which I am sure is soon to change - it seems inevitable.

In 100 years nothing will be, not even the "being" I am now. It reminds me of Jose Gonzales' song, Cycling Trivialities.


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OfflineOneU

Registered: 03/19/11
Posts: 763
Last seen: 12 years, 13 days
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: The Whale] * 1
    #14287135 - 04/13/11 10:21 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

ahahahaha... nice. you have the viable outcome, the prophetic vision and you've mixed in the fear and assumption and added paranoia on top of that.

I would say you are fine. Are you giving back? The Universe will not take anything from you if you are already giving some back. That goes to say, keep an equal exchange. If you go sit in nature and observe it's beauty, release your negativity into it, bless the area, do something for nature (pick up litter, plant a garden or chant blessings or sing songs).

You are powerful and it seems in your power you have doubted it because it may have become too familiar. You may have become attached to this sort of lifestyle. Not just the food or the wealth but the knowledge of "knowing" the feeling of understanding. It is said those who try and grasp the Great Mystery will have only held an illusion. Let go of this illusion. You're processing an awful lot. When was the last time you were away from anyone or anything familiar? Last time you went into your own retreat and journeyed with Spirit?


Brother, have you forgotten the ways of humbleness? Have you walked this Earth so lifelessly that you have ceased to be grateful for every breath? Or have you stepped so far into your illusions that you foretell the destruction of it and this you fear? You of all know that fear is the illusion. That the attachments you have, consciously or not have been eating away at you. You are the other and the other is you. You walk in a hall of mirrors seeing different angles of yourself. It is all one. Always has been. It strives so much to be many but it comes from one and to one it shall go.

I apologize if this does not make much sense. It is most difficult to speak you into your own truth when I am not experiencing you right now.

One more thing: illusion seems; truth is.

Edited by OneU (04/13/11 10:22 PM)

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InvisibleThe Whale

Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc: Flag
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: OneU]
    #14287147 - 04/13/11 10:23 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

OneU,

Actually that is very insightful. Your words hit close to home, so to speak.

Thank you.


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OfflineOneU

Registered: 03/19/11
Posts: 763
Last seen: 12 years, 13 days
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: The Whale]
    #14287158 - 04/13/11 10:25 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I Love you. Don't worry so much. The grand scheme is watching you, you will not fall brother. It is not the way.

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Invisibleahchela
Tourist
Male


Registered: 03/01/11
Posts: 399
Loc: Pacific North West
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: The Whale]
    #14287159 - 04/13/11 10:25 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Seems to me like apathy, its pretty common when people get involved in spirituality or philosophy.

IME it helps to just take a break and focus on your hobbies, think less and meditate no more than an hour a day.


--------------------
Psychedelics will not give you a lobotomy, but tv will.

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Invisiblec0sm0nautt
Male User Gallery
Registered: 05/19/08
Posts: 10,303
Loc: The Astral Realm
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: The Whale]
    #14287182 - 04/13/11 10:30 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

The Whale said:
Quote:

c0sm0nautt said:
Quote:

What exactly do you want us to tell you?




If positivity and meditation can be isolating, or to what extent identifying with oneself is subject to change. 





I think our self identities change, mostly unbeknown to the concious self, in a momentary basis. Yes, I will always be Andrew... but in one moment I will be confident and funny Andrew when hanging out with friends, and then nervous Andrew on a job interview. We get this idea that we are this personaility, but it is really just a collection of memories, feelings and thoughts existing in the present moment.

As far as I know, meditation is meant, supposedly, to realize and access what gives rise to this conglomerated personality. I think it can be isolating in certain stages, but ultimately the goal is to realize the essence behind the personality, which cannot be talked about (only hinted at) by the personality. We can give is tons of conventional terms such as infinite, selfless, etc but the real thing cannot be conceptualized by the mind.

For this reason most meditation aims to quiet (stop, shut up) the mind. I like to use mantra because it gives my mind something to focus and follow, preventing arising thoughts. The wave cannot know the ocean - it can only be experienced when it is calmed, and then the ocean slips into the wave. There is nothing isolating about this.

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InvisibleThe Whale

Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc: Flag
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: ahchela]
    #14287188 - 04/13/11 10:31 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

ahchela said:
Seems to me like apathy, its pretty common when people get involved in spirituality or philosophy.




It's not quite apathy, as I do care tremendously about people. I'm very empathetic to the point that I enjoy communicating with various people in ways that enrich their hopes, their confidence, their understanding, etc. - even if it's only little involvements that give me the opportunity to share some of my energy.

The way I am conveying my problem really does sound like New Age spiritual fluff or at best (I typed "beast" twice) a prideful throne that looks down on others. I still have my ups and downs, sure, but what I am saying is that I never want to be as "normal" as most other people see themselves... or least appear to me to feel. Does that make sense?


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InvisibleThe Whale

Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 2,384
Loc: Flag
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: OneU]
    #14287199 - 04/13/11 10:33 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

The wave cannot know the ocean - it can only be experienced when it is calmed, and then the ocean slips into the wave. There is nothing isolating about this.




:heart:

Quote:

OneU said:
I Love you. Don't worry so much. The grand scheme is watching you, you will not fall brother. It is not the way.




:heart:


--------------------

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OfflinejivJaN
yes
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Registered: 08/09/08
Posts: 4,245
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: The Whale]
    #14287432 - 04/13/11 11:05 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

I want your opinion.




Of course. Don't mind if i do.

Quote:

I'm wealthy




nice.

Quote:

Here's the problem(s):




There are no problems.

Quote:

People close to me have picked up on my empathetic and compassionate qualities and usually only communicate their problems to me, but to an incessant degree.




Thats because you fucked up. But don't worry  im here to set you straight now  :bigjoint:

You fucked up by trying to help them in the first place. They need to help themselves. Its quite normal to get carried away with this spiritual stuff to the point where you feel it is your duty to assist others.
But.. its not.

Note that i am talking about "helping others" in the form of sharing your spiritual insights.
If you help an old lady cross the street, or protect a girl from a thug thats different. That i approve of.
However.. this other form of help will only prove to be harmful to the people.

I can't prove it.. i can only let you wait and see for yourself.


Quote:

But more so, which is partly my own fault, I am developing a compulsion that compels me to see most of everyone else as needy, suffering individuals




Thats because they are.
WE are.

Just because you SEE IT.. doesn't necessarily mean you're above it.
Takes one to know one.
People bash on projection but i think its awesome. Because the more your project, the more you will inspect your own thoughts , compulsions etc. and you will see how much we all mimic each others neurotic behavior.


Quote:

Thus, my fear is that sooner or later I will be unable to continue this path of progress and will become pessimistic and negative as many of those around me, who are currently as unable as I am to see the beautiful magic in the world - the profundity in the simplicity. And this horrifies me.




There is no path.



Quote:

In short, despite a part of me that acknowledges the illusion and dichotomy of the "Self," I am scared of becoming the "other."




This is where i actually help you the most :







.


--------------------



---------------------

All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional.
They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively.
I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life  and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal.
If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..

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Invisiblec0sm0nautt
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Registered: 05/19/08
Posts: 10,303
Loc: The Astral Realm
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: jivJaN]
    #14287458 - 04/13/11 11:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Just because you SEE IT.. doesn't necessarily mean you're above it.
Takes one to know one.
People bash on projection but i think its awesome. Because the more your project, the more you will inspect your own thoughts , compulsions etc. and you will see how much we all mimic each others neurotic behavior.




True dat :thumbup:

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OfflinejivJaN
yes
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Registered: 08/09/08
Posts: 4,245
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: c0sm0nautt]
    #14287486 - 04/13/11 11:15 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

:murray:


--------------------



---------------------

All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional.
They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively.
I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life  and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal.
If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..

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InvisibleLSDilocybin
I AM


Registered: 08/21/05
Posts: 584
Loc: omnipresent
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: jivJaN]
    #14287491 - 04/13/11 11:15 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

â– People close to me have picked up on my empathetic and compassionate qualities and usually only communicate their problems to me, but to an incessant degree. I carry the emotional weight of everyone who is close to me and it's draining.




i understand completely. being such a source of good energy, cuz u draw it in on a regular basis, people get attached to that shit man, and in ur compassion u let them mooch ur energy.  but to put it like this doesnt mean u should be like MINE MINE...cuz ur doing ur job bro, ur helping people stay a lot more grounded than they would be without you channeling all that bliss around them.  and i think u can handle hearing this without getting an ego. but we all have our days when the neediness of others drains you, even tho they arent trying to, its just the affect i guess. i am in same boat man, just know that. compassion over powers ever our own frustrations. so keep ur mind on sources of love, which im sure u do, but just do what u do man, listen to ur gut. keep doing what got u this far.

i can already sense ur one of them dudes who feels tlike there isnt much anyone else can really tell them or show them at this point in their journey, and any that do u would be very grateful for it but its rare these days where ur at...maybe im wrong but that what i feel.

i shared this video with my grandparents the other day, and we all enjoyed it. they are some old school mother fuckers too and it checked their egos in many ways....you should just give it a listen for what its worth. they are merely GREAT reminders for any soul. shit is so deep all i can do is smile for 8 minutes.

here ya go[wisdom of the buddha]:



--------------------
"We are perfect mirrors in the sun and we brightly shine, we are singing and dancing in perfect time, there is nothing in the world that we can do, to stop the light of love come shining through" --Sally Oldfield


:heart: :levitate: :inlove: :tripping: :inlove3: "Vibrate in Love." :inlove3: :tripping: :inlove: :levitate: :heart:
                          :tripping2:

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InvisibleLSDilocybin
I AM


Registered: 08/21/05
Posts: 584
Loc: omnipresent
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: LSDilocybin]
    #14287501 - 04/13/11 11:17 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

1:28-1:38 brother.


--------------------
"We are perfect mirrors in the sun and we brightly shine, we are singing and dancing in perfect time, there is nothing in the world that we can do, to stop the light of love come shining through" --Sally Oldfield


:heart: :levitate: :inlove: :tripping: :inlove3: "Vibrate in Love." :inlove3: :tripping: :inlove: :levitate: :heart:
                          :tripping2:

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Invisiblec0sm0nautt
Male User Gallery
Registered: 05/19/08
Posts: 10,303
Loc: The Astral Realm
Re: I meditated myself into blissful delusion and isolation [Re: LSDilocybin]
    #14287522 - 04/13/11 11:20 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Watching that video in my dark room is freaking me out. This girls popping out of no where like some sort of hell demon. :lol:

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