Home | Community | Message Board

World Seed Supply
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

Jump to first unread post Pages: < Back | 1 | 2  [ show all ]
Some of these posts are very old and might contain outdated information. You may wish to search for newer posts instead.
InvisibleFleshCap
FleshCap
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/10/08
Posts: 685
Loc: Cali Underground Flag
Re: Ego Death question [Re: Around In Circles]
    #14295721 - 04/15/11 01:46 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Ego loss = surpassing ones self as an individual and merging with a larger oversoul.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineAldebaran
Psilo-Scribe
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 1,323
Loc: Altered States of Europe
Last seen: 14 hours, 20 minutes
Re: Ego Death question [Re: bholzer] * 1
    #14305953 - 04/17/11 12:11 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

I'd just like to get a good grasp on what ego loss REALLY means

How would you describe your own ego death experiences?
What substance, and how much did you use to get there?




Interesting thread with some good answers. I only wanted to write a short response, sorry I got carried away with my words. :blush: My "ego death" experiences are mainly from sclerotia (magic truffles) at doses around 30g - this would be roughly equivalent to 6g cubes. This is how I would describe my own experiences:

It helps to understand ego death if you forget about the ego thing and focus on the death part. To me, it feels as though I am dying in some metaphysical sense. Sometimes it feels alarmingly as though I am actually, really, physically dying (a bad trip). If I stay calm and don't try to resist, it can be a more gentle process of surrender. Either way, it becomes necessary to "accept my own death" to get through the trip.  Often I'll write in my trip notebooks the phrase "I give into this because there is no alternative." It's a process of being engulfed, consumed, obliterated, reborn.

Sometimes the idea of ego loss is confusing to read about, because it involves a loss of awareness that, on paper, sounds similar to being asleep or blacking-out from alcohol (I'll skip any discussion about whether ego loss and ego death are the same thing and just focus on my personal experience). If you imagine the intensity of your conscious experience was being controlled on a dimmer switch, falling asleep would be like gradually dimming the switch until you are unconscious. Ego loss would be more like increasing the intensity to the point where there is so much going on in your brain that you lose your sense of self completely, blinded by the intensity of your own CEV, drowning in a vast sea of consciousness....

:owl:

The actual moments when you lose yourself completely are obviously going to be difficult to describe, but the overall trajectory of my ego-death trips have some familiar features which I'll run through in sequence. Sometimes I learn more about ego death from experiences which don't quite get there. My most recent trip was strong, but not strong enough to pull me in completely. I had a kind of vision in my CEV of a boat sailing across a calm ocean, but there was an abrupt edge to the sea where it disappeared vertically into an abyss. Ego death is like sailing over that event horizon into the abyss (which echos something Azay says about entering a singularity in an earlier post).

What does that mean? What's down there in the abyss? During this same trip I wrote down a random phrase - "the writhing inferno of fluorescent death" - which is where I seem to end up in the depths of my ego-death trips. The CEV seethe and coil and glow and seem to pull me in and engulf me. It's the same kind of CEV I get at lower doses, only this time they are alive with an even more dreadful, hypnotic, sinister beauty, and they are overwhelming me. As the trip increases in intensity, I am drawn in, the trip itself seems to be a source of overwhelming power coming from the universe itself, a manifestation of God. There is a very strong body load, the psilocin seems to affect my entire being. My thoughts increase in intensity to the point where they lose coherence and sense, a boiling cauldron of raw consciousness. I wrote down some fragment of memory from a trip about "burial grounds and grinding-chambers" - it's like I have reached the point of no return, I have crossed over into some weird realm beyond death, I am being reprocessed, my sense of self is lost like a coke can in a steel furnace, merging with some new, weird, greater reality....

:aliceshocker:

And then? There are still things going in my head, but my thoughts are like leaves blowing in the wind, no longer attached to the tree. The room spins, normal reality is still there in front of me but it's like an image on a TV that nobody is watching. My mental state has fragmented into chaos. There is nobody home. A short time later, I mysteriously reappear, as though my personality had wandered back into my mind saying "Hello! I'm back!" It feels similar to the first coherent thoughts upon waking up in the morning, except that I am already awake, my eyes are open, I have no memory of falling asleep. My thoughts are back, my sense of self has returned. The feeling would be similar to the lights suddenly coming back on after a power cut, and then you realize you have no memory of them going out, and you struggle to remember what was happening in the darkness.

At this point in the trip, my thoughts are dominated by a very strong mystical, spiritual feeling of oneness - a sense of transcending normal realms and coming into contact with the underlying structure of reality, God, however you want to think about it. A sense that I have seen the truth at the heart of reality, some benevolent force that will ensure everything is OK. It's a feeling of immense surprise, rapture, as if aliens had landed in my back garden and brought God with them, a feeling of understanding an underlying truth that I had always known but forgotten and repressed in the hum of everyday life. I think this incredible feeling is what is really remarkable about "ego death" - for me it is the central core of my psychedelic experiences, the defining feature of my ego-death trips.

:sunstone:

I am lucid, there is now a calmness at the eye of the storm within my brain, but I am still tripping like mad. I have a feeling of Godlike awe - I am usually either convinced of the presence of God, or convinced that I am God. My thoughts patterns are back in some kind of working order, but the torrent of thought is intense and insane. I write reams of text in my notebook. Cryptic and absurd "messages from God," apocalyptic fantasies, alien conspiracies, a conviction that I am actually dead, that everybody is dead, that life is taking place in some kind of simulated reality, multifarious science-fiction scenarios, plans for glorious new worlds in freshly-created universes, mania, general weirdness. All this is accompanied by a feeling of complete rapture, revelation, a powerful sense that I have all the answers to all the questions.

All this stuff is delusional, but afterwards I regard all these crazy thoughts as a kind of storytelling - my brain trying to make sense of what-the-fuck-is-going-on. It's amazing fun. As the trip winds down from the peak, it becomes increasingly like any other trip. I sit back, smile, enjoy the music on my headphones and dance around the room if I feel like it.

:feelsgoodman:

I think all the descriptions on this thread highlight different aspects of ego death / ego loss. I'm sure people have quite varied experiences and opinions, but there are some features that recur in descriptions that give a flavour of what is going on. Like SamuelLJackson says above, you are kind of restricted to metaphors when trying to get the point across. You can say it's like x , but it's hard to describe it directly. Still, if it all sounds a bit wishy-washy and vague, the actual experience is about as subtle as being smashed over the head with a bottle full of God. It's difficult to overstate the mental intensity; When you are too far in to get out without passing through the black hole in the centre of your trip, when you have lost all hope and been crushed in the ferocious grip of a remorseless nightmare, it can feel like a very cruel joke when you realize "Ah.. so that's why it's called ego DEATH." It can be like descending into your own private hell and reappearing in heaven. That's one monster of a trip, whatever you want to call it.

Quote:

But what does ego loss even mean? I understand that a hell of a lot of experiences with psychedelics are hard to put in words




TL;DR

Here's a few words that sum up my experiences (in no particular order)

Death, Transcendence, Rapture, Mystical, Spiritual, Hell, Surrender, Radiance, Wonder, Void, Inferno, Unity, Everything, Ecstasy, Annihiliation, Rebirth, God


--------------------
I wrote that, but I meant something else


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinebholzer
quasi-scientist


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/22/11
Posts: 2,409
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: Ego Death question [Re: Aldebaran]
    #14306107 - 04/17/11 12:37 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

That was a great response, best one I've read yet, and I've done quite a bit of ego-death research. I want so badly to have that experience, and I know I've been close, but I just haven't been able to let go. I always get nervous, and my ego struggles to hold together, and things start to go downhill. I'm trying now to work my way up slowly dose-wise, and try to teach myself to accept the things that come my way.

I had a 15 gram ayahusaca experience, and I felt my being, my personality dissolving. My mind would just not let it happen.


--------------------


Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleAustrip
P. Sub
Male
Registered: 08/05/10
Posts: 1,247
Re: Ego Death question [Re: Aldebaran]
    #14306168 - 04/17/11 12:46 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I have experienced ego death from high doses of a few substances, but the main times was all with LSD.

Basically I get so deep into the vortex of visuals, I suddenly have the realization that I'm not in my body, I'm not on earth, I'm no where accept inside this mental headspace that seems to existence in the infinite space of eternity.
Its hard to describe, but theres a "dying" feeling to it, a  real profound realization that you have left the body, and it sort of smashes you into a million pieces until you only exist on a subatomic level of particles all working in unison with the rest of the universe.

Like my DMT experiences there is a feeling of traveling through like gates, or higher levels of existence. I don't know where I read it/saw it, but it was like you go through all these doors that are like onion layers to yourself, and eventually you peel back so many/ almost all of these layers and you get to the core of what makes you YOU.
When I get to this point I realize that this is the point of singularity, this is where all energy, existence and reality is emanating from. Its really hard to describe for me, but thats the best I could do...

I've noticed I can still technically be "here" while I'm "there" I've held conversations with people, sometimes well and sometimes not so much, while I was completely outside my body in this other realm.:awecid2:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: < Back | 1 | 2  [ show all ]

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* ego death? great experience.. feedback pls :) _JJ_ 3,463 5 03/02/21 02:19 AM
by Happy333444
* level 5 ego death, akashic records, pure consciousness bootsy222 1,999 7 03/03/18 08:27 PM
by ImSl8
* ego death
( 1 2 all )
OutkastSlug 4,776 23 06/29/05 03:45 PM
by Toddo
* Re: Ego Death from Mushrooms? shroom-girlie 3,158 7 03/24/01 12:35 PM
by 420shroomer
* Re: !!! EGO DEATH !!! Mitchnast 1,475 1 04/30/01 12:24 AM
by HB
* egodeath MeThoD 956 7 01/30/03 03:53 PM
by Cherk
* Large doses and death bluetoad 2,512 10 02/24/02 03:16 PM
by ShroominSpradl
* Mushroom Question FazEd 853 4 02/02/03 10:02 PM
by Northernsoul

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: psilocybinjunkie, Rose, mushboy, LogicaL Chaos, Northerner, bodhisatta
6,297 topic views. 3 members, 70 guests and 24 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.02 seconds spending 0.007 seconds on 14 queries.