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Offlinebholzer
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Ego Death question
    #14286076 - 04/13/11 07:31 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I've been on the forums for only about a month now, but I've been extremely active. I've been dabbling in psychedelics for a while now, so I've heard all about ego loss, and I feel like I may have even gotten there (today actually on my ayahuasca heroic dose).

But what does ego loss even mean? I understand that a hell of a lot of experiences with psychedelics are hard to put in words, but I'd just like to get a good grasp on what ego loss REALLY means.

How would you describe your own ego death experiences?
What substance, and how much did you use to get there?


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Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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OfflineGreenvalley
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: bholzer]
    #14286115 - 04/13/11 07:37 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I think its a loss of identity and no more sense of 'I' or 'self' For some reason psychedelics take away the idea of separateness and give you the idea of oneness. Ego death is the getting rid of that part of 'you' that clings to words and memories and emotions, its that thing that says 'mine'.


On a side note I like to believe this can be done while sober.


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OfflineHarryL
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: Greenvalley]
    #14286218 - 04/13/11 07:51 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)



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Mushroom hunting:  One bad mushroom can ruin your day! Know it or throw it.


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InvisibleSamuel L Jackson
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Registered: 12/10/09
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: HarryL]
    #14286242 - 04/13/11 07:54 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

well, i got told this over a year ago when i thought i might have experienced ego death or 'gotten close': "when you experience ego death, there wont be a doubt in your mind"

thats not the exact quote, but thats the jist of it.

basically, if you question whether or not it happened, it didnt. because when it happens and you come out of it the first thing you think will be "HOLY SHIT! OH MY GOD! THAT WAS THE MOST INTENSE THING OF MY LIFE I HAD NO IDEA THAT WAS POSSIBLE!!!!"

and from then on you know what it is. but you cant really describe it. each ego death experience is unique. and each ego death experience is equally mind boggling and indescribable.

i can try to describe my experiences of ego death but its always through metaphor and the description isnt remotely close to how it actually was.


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Offlinebholzer
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: Samuel L Jackson]
    #14286291 - 04/13/11 08:01 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

SamuelLJackson said:
well, i got told this over a year ago when i thought i might have experienced ego death or 'gotten close': "when you experience ego death, there wont be a doubt in your mind"

thats not the exact quote, but thats the jist of it.

basically, if you question whether or not it happened, it didnt. because when it happens and you come out of it the first thing you think will be "HOLY SHIT! OH MY GOD! THAT WAS THE MOST INTENSE THING OF MY LIFE I HAD NO IDEA THAT WAS POSSIBLE!!!!"

and from then on you know what it is. but you cant really describe it. each ego death experience is unique. and each ego death experience is equally mind boggling and indescribable.

i can try to describe my experiences of ego death but its always through metaphor and the description isnt remotely close to how it actually was.




Great answer. Sounds like an orgasm, you'll just know when it happens. I really want to get there, just to experience it once. I just get nervous that I'll have a really extreme experience and my outlooks might change.  I know it's a stupid thing to worry about, but when I trip high doses, I always feel like I'm losing the person that I am. I feel like my qualities just start to leave, and I'm not the same person.

Of course, it always comes back after the comedown, I just fear it'll stick one day!


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Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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OfflineFUTURIST
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: bholzer]
    #14286720 - 04/13/11 09:10 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)



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OfflineJeeashrooma
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: bholzer] * 1
    #14290863 - 04/14/11 03:43 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

"I know it's a stupid thing to worry about, but when I trip high doses, I always feel like I'm losing the person that I am. I feel like my qualities just start to leave, and I'm not the same person."

Sounds like you were on your way to ego death. If you're like me then a certain amount of fear accompanied this process. Your ego is, after all, your own definition of 'the person you are'. Its tough to become increasingly unsure of who you are. But then again the more certain you are of who you are, I believe, the less you will allow yourself to evolve over time.


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Invisiblesavage.renegade
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: Jeeashrooma]
    #14291009 - 04/14/11 04:05 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Something like this happened on one of my first trips. I forget my memorys and my personality. Which was a bit scary. Then i had to put all the pieces of my personality and memories back together one at a time. It was hard cuz i realized things i dint like about myself, which has made me change those things i dont like.


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OfflineFUTURIST
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: Jeeashrooma]
    #14291336 - 04/14/11 04:56 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Jeeashrooma said:
"I know it's a stupid thing to worry about, but when I trip high doses, I always feel like I'm losing the person that I am. I feel like my qualities just start to leave, and I'm not the same person."

Sounds like you were on your way to ego death. If you're like me then a certain amount of fear accompanied this process. Your ego is, after all, your own definition of 'the person you are'. Its tough to become increasingly unsure of who you are. But then again the more certain you are of who you are, I believe, the less you will allow yourself to evolve over time.




Well said!!!:thumbup:


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InvisibleGhostwriter

Registered: 06/18/10
Posts: 4,825
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: FUTURIST]
    #14291406 - 04/14/11 05:08 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

"when you experience ego death, there wont be a doubt in your mind"



Quote:

"HOLY SHIT! OH MY GOD! THAT WAS THE MOST INTENSE THING OF MY LIFE I HAD NO IDEA THAT WAS POSSIBLE!!!!"



hahaha hell yeahhhh thats exactly what i was thinking when i read this

i ate about a fat quarter of shrooms on accident once and experienced ego death and i have never had anything in my life be as intense as that, it changed my life for sure in every way possible..

and yes it was one of the scariest fucking things i have ever been through in my whoooooole life...but once you accept it and you let go of yourself you get overwhelmed with the best feeling you will ever feel in your life too..

nothing will ever compare to it in your life and you will have no doubt that it happened when it does


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Offlinebholzer
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: Jeeashrooma]
    #14291425 - 04/14/11 05:14 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Jeeashrooma said:
"I know it's a stupid thing to worry about, but when I trip high doses, I always feel like I'm losing the person that I am. I feel like my qualities just start to leave, and I'm not the same person."

Sounds like you were on your way to ego death. If you're like me then a certain amount of fear accompanied this process. Your ego is, after all, your own definition of 'the person you are'. Its tough to become increasingly unsure of who you are. But then again the more certain you are of who you are, I believe, the less you will allow yourself to evolve over time.




Yea, It was very scary. But after it was over, I couldn't have been happier with myself.


--------------------


Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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OfflineMattm
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: bholzer]
    #14292068 - 04/14/11 07:21 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I had extreme ego failure on salvia 40x. I died to many times to count, all I remember is that I don't remember much of what happened. I vaguely recall traversing different realities, planes of existence, and dimensions. I lived full lives as different beings, then I would die, rinse and repeat for what seemed like eternity.

So let's just say, I seriously thought I had died that day on salvia, and I did.


--------------------
Good bye to everyone, my time here was well spent, and I think I have gained a lot from coming here. The internet has become to much of a priority for me, and I think I am ready to let it go for a while. < Who am I kidding...I'm hooked for life.


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OfflineCindie Lu
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: bholzer]
    #14293857 - 04/15/11 01:42 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

When I ego death-ed I had no clue what hit me, and didn't for some time after that until I described what had happened to me. I started out getting cross-faded and thought that was all I was doing that night. But boy was I in for a big surprise. One of my friends thought it would be funny I guess to put some LSD in my rum&coke. Basically I started to get confused and that's all I could express was my confusion. Not knowing I was tripping it was a pretty gnarley experience. I felt like I was drowning in energy and life I guess you'd say... And each time I thought I had conquers something  kinda like a level, I fell deeper and deeper into the abyss. It felt like my 9 or 7 lives, I can't remember what I was saying that night about the numbers too be honest. Well my friends were pretty hammered and laughing and trying to play 52 pickup with me and that definitely made it worse so be with people you trust and by all means dint let anyone throw anything at you ! I was afraid of ceiling fans and I felt like I could see the energy of peoples souls around me. I even felt my soul escape my body once I gave up and absolutely lost control of myself. I thought I was possessed or something at the time. But ever since that night I have been much more in tune with the "universe" and my path in life. Everything will slowly start to make sense, and I mean everything in life it's trippy but amazing. I actually felt myself slip in and out of "death" about 7 or 9 times similar to the whole level thing. This could be due to the ganja or alcohol I'm not sure. Or maybe it's part of ego death I really don't know.

But basically just know what your frying yourself Ito and enjoy the experience. If I had known I was on a drug and nit drinking I think I would have have a much better experience. So happy trippin fokes ! I promise it's nothing you'll regret.


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Offlineazay
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: Cindie Lu]
    #14293940 - 04/15/11 02:06 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

This notion of loss of identity becomes very prominent on high doses. But I don't consider it 'egodeath'. I think egodeath only occurs on 'very' high dosages (talking classic psychedelics like shrooms or acid). It's when you are totally annihilated. Puke all over the place. It's like being gangraped by the LSD spirit. My vains feel like they are filled with pure acid. I feel like I am choking. I don't know where I am or what I am (my identity is shifting around between all kinds of random things, from inanimate objects to immaterial concepts). My awareness is shrinking and closing in by the second. On the exact moment between death and rebirth I loose consciousness. Total blackout. Death. It's like being sucked through a singularity and immediately coming out at the other side of the singularity: rebirth. Let the magic begin.


Edited by azay (04/15/11 02:25 AM)


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Offlinebholzer
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: azay]
    #14294499 - 04/15/11 08:18 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

azay said:
This notion of loss of identity becomes very prominent on high doses. But I don't consider it 'egodeath'. I think egodeath only occurs on 'very' high dosages (talking classic psychedelics like shrooms or acid). It's when you are totally annihilated. Puke all over the place. It's like being gangraped by the LSD spirit. My vains feel like they are filled with pure acid. I feel like I am choking. I don't know where I am or what I am (my identity is shifting around between all kinds of random things, from inanimate objects to immaterial concepts). My awareness is shrinking and closing in by the second. On the exact moment between death and rebirth I loose consciousness. Total blackout. Death. It's like being sucked through a singularity and immediately coming out at the other side of the singularity: rebirth. Let the magic begin.




I think that's an awesome description. Something I can't wait to experience. I've been testing myself with high doses lately, so I think I'm working my way there.


--------------------


Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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Offlinebholzer
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: Greenvalley]
    #14294503 - 04/15/11 08:20 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Greenvalley said:
I think its a loss of identity and no more sense of 'I' or 'self' For some reason psychedelics take away the idea of separateness and give you the idea of oneness. Ego death is the getting rid of that part of 'you' that clings to words and memories and emotions, its that thing that says 'mine'.


On a side note I like to believe this can be done while sober.




I've heard a lot about sober ego loss while reading about meditation. It sounds like an extremely unique experience. Great avatar btw, gotta love greenman.


--------------------


Use these substances wisely, they have the ability to cause life altering realizations.


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: Samuel L Jackson]
    #14294507 - 04/15/11 08:22 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

SamuelLJackson said:
well, i got told this over a year ago when i thought i might have experienced ego death or 'gotten close': "when you experience ego death, there wont be a doubt in your mind"

thats not the exact quote, but thats the jist of it.

basically, if you question whether or not it happened, it didnt. because when it happens and you come out of it the first thing you think will be "HOLY SHIT! OH MY GOD! THAT WAS THE MOST INTENSE THING OF MY LIFE I HAD NO IDEA THAT WAS POSSIBLE!!!!"

and from then on you know what it is. but you cant really describe it. each ego death experience is unique. and each ego death experience is equally mind boggling and indescribable.

i can try to describe my experiences of ego death but its always through metaphor and the description isnt remotely close to how it actually was.




This.

You will know automatically.
There will be NO doubt in your mind.
Its the same as breaking through on DMT, K Holing.
Once you do it, you know exactly what it was.


--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One


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Offlinemarny
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #14295083 - 04/15/11 11:19 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I had a DMT trip yesterday that I guess could be described as ego death, but my mind was still there in a sense. My ideas of categorizing things was thrown right out the window. I didn't know the difference between life and death, me and everything else, etc. I was terrified most of the time because I couldn't tell if I was still smoking or even breathing. I was trying to keep myself grounded as the cosmos ripped through my body. After coming down but still tripping hard, I had to sing and dance around just to, I don't know, stay alive. So I was shown ego-death, but I was kicking and screaming through it all. Awesome experience over-all.


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InvisibleSamuel L Jackson
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: marny]
    #14295135 - 04/15/11 11:33 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

marny said:
After coming down but still tripping hard, I had to sing and dance around just to, I don't know, stay alive.




:lolsy: i love it when i get odd feelings like that.

"i have no idea why, but i NEED to do this right now!"


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OfflineAround In Circles
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Re: Ego Death question [Re: Samuel L Jackson]
    #14295299 - 04/15/11 12:08 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Take a peek at my site if you wish.

Here's a taste:

As the experience unraveled, I realized that "I" and everything associated with me, myself was about to end. In coming to this realization, I felt a distinct fear of dying (this fear expressed itself through macabre visions/thoughts), but my fear gave way (along with the demonic visions) as I eventually came to complete acceptance of death (which was seemingly inevitable, although I could see how some people would resist this flow of events and have a bad experience as a result. It was, admittedly, overwhelmingly intense; a center in my head – and this is only a vague metaphor – built up pressure somewhat alarmingly as all of this was going on, but it was thankfully released when I finally let go). After I came to accept death, I was sucked through what can only be described as a "worm-hole*" of sorts; time ended and space became dimensionless. An apocalypse of my entire life up until that point played out in my mind as I was prepared to undergo absolute dissolution.


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"When you get the message, hang up the phone." - Alan Watts

We Die to Remember What We Live to Forget


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