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Anonymous #1

Am I Schizophrenic?
    #14279748 - 04/12/11 07:22 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

So is talking to yourself and giving yourself a pep talk in the mirror schizophrenic if you realize your reflection isn't you but something or someone else talking to you giving you advice.  And you are sober and have been for years or at least a couple.

Has anyone else been able to handle their schizophrenia or hidden personality or dual personality disorder by internalizing pain and overcompensating by being nice?

I'm having a tough time emotionally right now and I feel like my shell is cracking up.  'It feels like beams of light are shining out of me and something inside is being released'  Yeah, I know I sound crazy.  But I'm not!

I figured everyone here would get me.  I also feel like vomiting all the time.  So things aren't good.  I did actually vomit and double over on the floor.  I try not to think or become overly aggressive and violent.  I only have two personalities.  One that is super nice and overcompensates.  And another that I have been able to not see or express since I was 8 years old.  The bad me.  I'm afraid the bad me will come out.

I do have a sense of justice and right and wrong but I don't have palpable emotions that I express.  I don't want my emotions being used against me since I think that is a weakness.  The emotions are there but they are completely detached and separate.  That is the crux of my problem.

So when the 'bad' personality comes out there is no emotion just destruction everywhere.  I feel the personality coming out but it I don't know how it will express itself.  Physical violence or otherwise... I'm more afraid if it isn't physical violence.  I'm afraid of what will happen.

I only express my emotions and relate to people when I'm high.  Those were the only moments I feel I was able to relate to someone on a social level.  But getting high has it's drawbacks for work, drugtests, and the like.  I also get snappy when I cut back or stop smoking for at least a month.  Even if I don't smoke that much.

Please help... Any other schizos and Asperger's guys / girls dealing with this?


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Offlinemylfgur
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Re: Am I Schizophrenic? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14279778 - 04/12/11 07:28 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Lemme get this straight, you think you're either schizo or have aspergers?


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Anonymous #1

Re: Am I Schizophrenic? [Re: mylfgur]
    #14279808 - 04/12/11 07:33 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I'm going schizo due to stress... Multiple personality coming out.  Not cool.. Don't know what to do.  thinking of dropping out of society to try and cope with things. 

Or going about and living my own life.

it is stress related.  Don't believe in suicide, so I didn't go that path... So now I'm afraid of going nutz... At least I realize it though.

I was talking to myself from a different personality in the mirror.  I didn't recognize the reflection as myself.

So basically I'm starting to fall apart and I know it.


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Offlinemylfgur
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Re: Am I Schizophrenic? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14279958 - 04/12/11 07:52 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I'm going schizo due to stress... Multiple personality coming out.  Not cool.. Don't know what to do.  thinking of dropping out of society to try and cope with things. 

Or going about and living my own life.

it is stress related.  Don't believe in suicide, so I didn't go that path... So now I'm afraid of going nutz... At least I realize it though.

I was talking to myself from a different personality in the mirror.  I didn't recognize the reflection as myself.

So basically I'm starting to fall apart and I know it.



Listen man we're all going fucking nuts, learn to deal with it. If pot helps you (like it does for me) then power to you. I don't think that mental illnesses are properly categorized these days and I'm very skeptic toward people who claim to have these illnesses.

Don't think that you're crazy, because then you really will become crazy as you begin to scrutinize your entire sensory experience under the lens of mental illness. That's how you know your illness is real, but it's all in your head.

You could see a psychiatrist in hope of a real diagnosis but don't take whatever drugs he offers you before doing any research. I still think I'm going fucking crazy every day but if you stay strong, you can come to know that you can be a healthy, functioning individual.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Am I Schizophrenic? [Re: mylfgur]
    #14279986 - 04/12/11 07:55 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah,

I'm going to just sit down figure out my problems and deal with shit.  Sounds good.  Shit isn't bad.  I realize some stuff is up and I'm under stress and need to make changes.

I'm not going to get drugs to deal with shit.  I'm just going to deal with the problems at hand straight on and not act out.

Reading some of the other posts helps me figure out my relationships with people and things so It is helping.

I'm reaching out to talk to people and it kinda helps but I really don't want to be labeled as crazy or have people call me names and talk down to me or accuse me of doing drugs when I'm not.


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Offlinemrgibblet
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Re: Am I Schizophrenic? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14280055 - 04/12/11 08:05 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Raw said:
Yeah,

I'm going to just sit down figure out my problems and deal with shit.  Sounds good.  Shit isn't bad.  I realize some stuff is up and I'm under stress and need to make changes.

I'm not going to get drugs to deal with shit.  I'm just going to deal with the problems at hand straight on and not act out.

Reading some of the other posts helps me figure out my relationships with people and things so It is helping.

I'm reaching out to talk to people and it kinda helps but I really don't want to be labeled as crazy or have people call me names and talk down to me or accuse me of doing drugs when I'm not.




If you think anxiety is causing you to believe that youre SCHIZOPHRENIC, you should go get some pills from the doc!
You never know dude! IT may help you! It may not!

I think it's worth a try! You might get some xanax!


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:whoyougonnacall:
"Anxiety doesn't exist. It's just your inner brain telling you that you're a pussy."

jokes


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Invisibleelliev
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Re: Am I Schizophrenic? [Re: mrgibblet]
    #14280258 - 04/12/11 08:34 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

it sounds like anxiety; i used to be physically ill/experience the same in public high school whenever i set foot on that hell hole.

hope ya feel better OP. i don't know about the pill thing though, i hope it works with you. shrinks always tried to prescribe me somethin, but i'd refuse. artificial happiness doesn't sound to good to me.


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InvisibleLe_Canard
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Re: Am I Schizophrenic? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14280301 - 04/12/11 08:40 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Typically, Schizophrenia involves delusions and hallucinations, NOT multiple personalities, as so commonly thought. No, you're probably NOT schizophrenic by a long shot, if it makes you feel any better. You should talk to somebody about this, though, rather than coming here for advice.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Am I Schizophrenic? [Re: Le_Canard]
    #14280325 - 04/12/11 08:43 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

TD, I think that is the best advice I've ever gotten from you to date.

So yeah... I'm not going to a shrink but I do feel better that I'm not schizophrenic ....

I do talk to myself but that is my thing.  I did the tinfoil hat thing and line the walls with foil and thought aliens were coming down for me and that I could fly with them but I know I'm just being silly. 

so yeah... thanks I'll figure it out.  I can hold down my job for now so all is good.


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InvisibleLe_Canard
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Re: Am I Schizophrenic? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14280501 - 04/12/11 09:10 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah, we all have our good and bad sides, so you're certainly not alone there. Anyway, hope things get better for you.


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