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46 and 2
Zen Masta



Registered: 03/02/12
Posts: 255
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#16084867 - 04/13/12 12:47 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: I've only had a girl initiate sex once. Every other time i'm always making the first move.
This is kind of nerve wracking for a guy. Shy girls rarely show signs of interest and never make the first move.
(girls) Do you typically like it when the guy makes the first move? Have you ever been in really awkward situations where you wish he didn't make the move?
Also how many guys have met girls who do make the first move? Do you do it on the first date or wait a little?
When it comes to girls, we DO make first moves, but they're way more subtle than the moves we expect to have made ON us.
Our first move looks more like "making ourselves available". We hang around near you, smile at you, laugh at your jokes, talk indirectly about things we'd love to see and do in our lives, and from there, it's up to you guys to pick up on it and take the lead if you like us too. We will rarely ask directly.
We also treat you badly to see if you'll let us do it - and we lose respect and sexual attraction if you let us get away with it. Look up the concept of a "shit test" for more of what I mean.
PS: If you don't have the balls to risk rejection, you'll get "chosen" by a woman who senses your weakness and will take advantage of you for it. And don't think I mean sexually, either. Sure, you'll get that initially to hook you in, but once that happens (and guys who don't get it often get hooked easily) she'll cut out the sex, drain you emotionally, financially, and probably then cheat on you in the end. Find your balls, man.
Really liked your post. It's sad though that people can't be more direct without all the shadiness.
-------------------- Even if it seems certain that you will lose, retaliate. Neither wisdom or technique has a place in this. A real man does not think of victory or defeat. He plunges recklessly towards an irrational death. By doing this, you will awaken from your dreams. - Tsunetomo Yamamoto
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Tomandjerry58
Stranger

Registered: 01/27/03
Posts: 5,212
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#16088087 - 04/14/12 05:35 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Sure, you'll get that initially to hook you in, but once that happens (and guys who don't get it often get hooked easily) she'll cut out the sex, drain you emotionally, financially, and probably then cheat on you in the end. Find your balls, man.
Sounds like marriage lol.
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buttersandwitch
Stranger
Registered: 02/06/12
Posts: 35
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: Tomandjerry58]
#16091667 - 04/15/12 12:17 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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When you've been together for ten years
It's funny what happens Like some times I did dent want sex cuz I would hav to hear her bitch But then we argue then she gets nice and at the right moment I be like Let's do it in the woods and it works if I say it at right time
It's like
Can I No Come on No Please .. No Come on Ok
I think that will work with new Girls
But you got to plan out your move cuz with a wife u can ask and ask and ask It wont be taken in a bad way
Cuz new girls u got at most two chances of asking when you've got her to her peak happyness
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candyflip420
Original Gangster


Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 4,019
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Yes they do , but as you get older they automatically expect you to do so .
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somaholiday
Stranger


Registered: 01/12/11
Posts: 447
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: candyflip420]
#16106117 - 04/18/12 10:42 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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I made the first move once, got layed, and regretted it and felt like a slut afterwards(which bares no judgement towards girls that do do that type of thing, its just the way it made me feel for very personal reasons).
I wont be making the first move again. I highly approve of guys who make the first move because of this (not that I have met any, which is why I dont do it, if no one makes the first move on me, then I can hardly be very attractive, and if this is the case, then it is not likely that if I make any moves they will be reciprocated...I am also a very sensitive soul and find it difficult to cope with rejection, be nice by the way, I am being honest), as I have gotten older, I even give kudos to guys I dont find attractive or even like if they make the first move (which happens often on dating forums), because I appreciate the courage that it must take and dont feel you (guys in general) recieve enough recognition for it.
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The man of science is a poor philosopher --- Albert Einstein
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: somaholiday]
#16108622 - 04/18/12 08:48 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
somaholiday said: I made the first move once, got layed, and regretted it and felt like a slut afterwards(which bares no judgement towards girls that do do that type of thing, its just the way it made me feel for very personal reasons).
I wont be making the first move again. I highly approve of guys who make the first move because of this (not that I have met any, which is why I dont do it, if no one makes the first move on me, then I can hardly be very attractive, and if this is the case, then it is not likely that if I make any moves they will be reciprocated...I am also a very sensitive soul and find it difficult to cope with rejection, be nice by the way, I am being honest), as I have gotten older, I even give kudos to guys I dont find attractive or even like if they make the first move (which happens often on dating forums), because I appreciate the courage that it must take and dont feel you (guys in general) recieve enough recognition for it.
This post makes almost zero sense. I have no idea what you're trying to say after the first sentence.
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Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,855
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: somaholiday] 1
#16108920 - 04/18/12 09:40 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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You made the first move, it worked, and now you won't do it again? Yea, wtf? If you like someone let them know, whats the problem?
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somaholiday
Stranger


Registered: 01/12/11
Posts: 447
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: pwnasaurus]
#16109853 - 04/19/12 01:06 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
pwnasaurus said: This post makes almost zero sense. I have no idea what you're trying to say after the first sentence.
That says more about you...
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The man of science is a poor philosopher --- Albert Einstein
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somaholiday
Stranger


Registered: 01/12/11
Posts: 447
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: somaholiday]
#16109937 - 04/19/12 01:48 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Lynnch said: You made the first move, it worked, and now you won't do it again? Yea, wtf? If you like someone let them know, whats the problem?
selective reading much?
here are the important parts you missed in your calculation:
"...and felt like a slut...[regret] for very personal reasons."
"...I am also a very sensitive soul and find it difficult to cope with rejection, be nice by the way, I am being honest"
Perhaps I am wrong to feel like that, sex can be great fun, that particular time it was neither here nor there, it was just a bang, and I couldnt wait to get out of there. I guess I am just not a one night stand girl, but I tried it before making my judgement at least, give me some credit for that...
"You made the first move, it worked, and now you won't do it again? Yea, wtf?" Does this mean that sex is the greatest good?...consider that idea when taken to its extreme...
Perhaps within that consideration there can be found some insight as to why some girls dont like to make the first move.
Edited by somaholiday (04/19/12 01:58 AM)
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Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,855
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: somaholiday] 1
#16109987 - 04/19/12 02:35 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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I try to focus on the important things. You felt like a slut, for reasons we can't begin to comprehend because you won't share them. Rejection sucks, for everyone. I'm nice, at least I have good intentions and am honest as well.
'Just a bang' usually isn't so much fun. That still doesn't make you a slut.
Sex isn't that extreme. It bugs me that people hold back the way they feel for... what? Just because you felt slutty once doesn't mean you shouldn't make the move ever again.
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: somaholiday]
#16113648 - 04/19/12 09:19 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
somaholiday said:
Quote:
pwnasaurus said: This post makes almost zero sense. I have no idea what you're trying to say after the first sentence.
That says more about you...

Quote:
somaholiday said: I made the first move once, got layed, and regretted it and felt like a slut afterwards(which bares no judgement towards girls that do do that type of thing, its just the way it made me feel for very personal reasons).
I wont be making the first move again. I highly approve of guys who make the first move because of this
This? Unclear what you're referring to
Quote:
(not that I have met any, which is why I dont do it, if no one makes the first move on me, then I can hardly be very attractive, and if this is the case, then it is not likely that if I make any moves they will be reciprocated...I am also a very sensitive soul and find it difficult to cope with rejection, be nice by the way, I am being honest), as I have gotten older, I even give kudos to guys I dont find attractive or even like if they make the first move (which happens often on dating forums), because I appreciate the courage that it must take and dont feel you (guys in general) recieve enough recognition for it.
This entire block is one run on sentence, and you don't see how that could be hard to understand, never mind incredibly grammatically incorrect?
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Kukaracha
Cat wannabe


Registered: 12/18/08
Posts: 1,682
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: somaholiday]
#16115150 - 04/20/12 06:16 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
somaholiday said: I made the first move once, got layed, and regretted it and felt like a slut afterwards(which bares no judgement towards girls that do do that type of thing, its just the way it made me feel for very personal reasons).
I wont be making the first move again. I highly approve of guys who make the first move because of this (not that I have met any, which is why I dont do it, if no one makes the first move on me, then I can hardly be very attractive, and if this is the case, then it is not likely that if I make any moves they will be reciprocated...I am also a very sensitive soul and find it difficult to cope with rejection, be nice by the way, I am being honest), as I have gotten older, I even give kudos to guys I dont find attractive or even like if they make the first move (which happens often on dating forums), because I appreciate the courage that it must take and dont feel you (guys in general) recieve enough recognition for it.
Most girls are very sensitive and don't take rejection well.
I would go as far as saying many girls are pussies. Our culture gives them an excuse to hide behind their passive role. They do, however, have a more volatile sense of self-esteem that comes along so I guess it's somewhat "balanced".
This post for example :
Quote:
Anonymous said: When it comes to girls, we DO make first moves, but they're way more subtle than the moves we expect to have made ON us.
Our first move looks more like "making ourselves available". We hang around near you, smile at you, laugh at your jokes, talk indirectly about things we'd love to see and do in our lives, and from there, it's up to you guys to pick up on it and take the lead if you like us too. We will rarely ask directly.
We also treat you badly to see if you'll let us do it - and we lose respect and sexual attraction if you let us get away with it. Look up the concept of a "shit test" for more of what I mean.
PS: If you don't have the balls to risk rejection, you'll get "chosen" by a woman who senses your weakness and will take advantage of you for it. And don't think I mean sexually, either. Sure, you'll get that initially to hook you in, but once that happens (and guys who don't get it often get hooked easily) she'll cut out the sex, drain you emotionally, financially, and probably then cheat on you in the end. Find your balls, man.
Is bullshit. If "smiling" is a first move then how come smiling, clingy, overly positive guys aren't considered to be "making a move"? How come would it be normal for a girl to do a "shit test" and try and see if the guy has balls when she doesn't have any herself?
Don't delude yourself, girls don't make the first move, period. Their role is different. To men, I would say that the first step towards approaching a girl would be to accept that she has the passive role and the right to play mindgames.
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somaholiday
Stranger


Registered: 01/12/11
Posts: 447
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: Kukaracha]
#16115619 - 04/20/12 09:38 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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dya know what, I forgot, I've made a first move twice. I gave this guy who had been flirting with me in the library a few weeks my number, but he never phoned. He had invited me to a house party he was having (which I couldnt go to), and kept sitting next to me (when there were plenty of other seats), so I was obviously on the radar, and we had spoken about how it would be nice to hang out. I gave him my phone number and email and he never called. It was funny when I gave it to him as well, I could just make out a flash across his face that said "oh no, she wants to get married and have my babies" and I kind of knew he wasnt going to call me after that. I think it is because I gave it to him so nervously, when perhaps I should have just given it to him with a bit more cool. My nervousness was not because of how much I fancied him, but rather that I was doing something I had never done before (given a guy my number)(the first one we had already exchanged numbers, but I made the first move as in booty called him). Mad that I just forgot about it when giving my first example, thats like a proper making a move move isnt it?...It was horrible when I met him a few months later, because I had been eating all the pies and put on 14lb's and not looking my best, kind of didnt even speak to him after that.
I kind of see where you are coming from Kuk, and even though you see it as a matter of cultural norms that in the last part of your post, you kind of seem to accept, if not a little begrudgingly so (understandable), in myself, I do see it (the rejection part) as a character flaw that I was gradually trying to over come, infact, that is what inspired me to give that guy my number that time, but I guess I have kind of given up.
And what you said about girls being pussies for not doing it, is exactly why I commend guys, and dont think you get enough recognition for doing all the work. Not just work in terms of making moves, but also, the fact that guys get such a poor wrap for being emotionally dumb, when actually, the fact that (some of) you are able to work through the rejection to give it another go, is a sign of great resilience and emotional inteligence that girls do not compare to. The fact that we (some of us) dont do it because we find it difficult to handle the rejection (I know, I have only been speaking for myself so far), is a sure sign of our own emotional inabilities.
But, also, even though there appears to be a fixed pattern, I think this only half true, I think social interaction is highly reciprocal, and while there are moves that are "moves", there are also many many occasions where it isnt black and white and things just, happen.
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The man of science is a poor philosopher --- Albert Einstein
Edited by somaholiday (04/20/12 10:19 AM)
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Kukaracha
Cat wannabe


Registered: 12/18/08
Posts: 1,682
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: somaholiday]
#16116112 - 04/20/12 12:28 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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True, communication mostly happens on implicit levels. Now while I do really believe that girl are "pussies", they have the "burden of image". Many times have I seen men head on a date with an old shirt and a dirty pair of jeans when the girl probably spent half an hour just on makeup.
I don't not which side has an easier life, but it's much better to just aknowledge and accept your role. Only then can you maybe go beyond it.
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Simms
Fuckwit


Registered: 11/17/08
Posts: 1,109
Loc: Somewhere in Europe
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Do girls ever make the first move? [Re: somaholiday]
#16116309 - 04/20/12 01:29 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
somaholiday said:
Quote:
pwnasaurus said: This post makes almost zero sense. I have no idea what you're trying to say after the first sentence.
That says more about you...
And me too then.
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somaholiday
Stranger


Registered: 01/12/11
Posts: 447
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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Heres the rocket science... [Re: Simms]
#16116572 - 04/20/12 02:51 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Seeing as it is two then; (re: aproving guys making the first move) The second statement is qualified by the first ...perhaps the brackets (which had contextual information to create better understanding of my personal circumstance) caused some confusion.
Here you go.
"I wont be making the first move again. I highly approve of guys who make the first move because of this [the fact that I dont make the move, because if guys didnt, then I would have no hope of meeting one, because "I wont be making..."], as I have gotten older, I even give kudos to guys I dont find attractive or even like if they make the first move (which happens often on dating forums), because I appreciate the courage that it must take and dont feel you (guys in general) recieve enough recognition for it."
(the removed bracket part) "(not that I have met any [guys who make the first move which was mentioned immediately prior to this bracketed sentence], which is why I dont do it, if no one makes the first move on me, then I can hardly be very attractive, and if this is the case, then it is not likely that if I make any moves they will be reciprocated...I am also a very sensitive soul and find it difficult to cope with rejection, be nice by the way, I am being honest)"
Personally I think you are both being awkward and bitchy, its hardly text speak is it!
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The man of science is a poor philosopher --- Albert Einstein
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Simms
Fuckwit


Registered: 11/17/08
Posts: 1,109
Loc: Somewhere in Europe
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Heres the rocket science... [Re: somaholiday]
#16116604 - 04/20/12 03:01 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
somaholiday said: blabber
Personally I think you are both being awkward and bitchy, its hardly text speak is it! 
What?
Commas, sentence formation?
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somaholiday
Stranger


Registered: 01/12/11
Posts: 447
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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My butt hurts. [Re: Simms]
#16116637 - 04/20/12 03:08 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Simms said:
Quote:
somaholiday said: blabber (point proven)
Personally I think you are both being awkward and bitchy, its hardly text speak is it! 
What?
Commas, sentence formation?
I'm out of this one now. I post a lot on this forum anon because I have confidence problems, and the one time I openly offer a womens perspective to a genuine and potentially interesting discussion that could provide opportunity for us to explore, share and develop I am taken down for trivialities.
Have fun.
Edited by somaholiday (04/20/12 03:14 PM)
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daz01
Learning


Registered: 09/30/10
Posts: 4,652
Loc: Scotland
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lol why are you concerned about someone making a comment about internet grammar?
egos are a massive problem in almost all cultures, everyone is concerned about being "not really interested in you, you make teh first move,". like, i can go out, make constant eye contact with girls, glances every few minutes, yet neither of us will make the first physical move, even though its hugely obvious we find each other attractive, theres always this "you go first!". now yes, i have some massive subconcious fear of rejection and find it difficult to "move in" even in obvious situations.
ive had girls ask me out indirectly (so yeh, i greatly agree with the poster above) one ask what im doing tonight, i reply nothing, what about you? oh same, just sitting in tonight on my own with a movie and pizza. meanwhile, i pussy out and fail to add one more sentence to seal the deal. few more cases like that,same sort of tone and style, pussied out. out clubbing, most girls will do is dance, eye contact, slowly move towards me. ive had a girl push her friend into me while dancing,i moved away and she kinda stared at me like wtf man, im nearly throwing myself at you. yeh, thats the biggest initiate a stranger has made on me biggest move, sisters friend in my bed, fail to make the final move.
yeah, im a right pussy when it comes to initiating with girls. anyways, i went a bit towards me there, my point is, its almost ALWAYS guys that have gotta make that FINAL move to seal the deal. you get alot of girls that like to play games, theres definetely that fear that she rejects when YOU make the real move, that "i really do wanna fuck you" finalizer. we all just need to drop our egos and get over the fear of rejection, its pathetic, and thats coming from someone with a ridicolous ego
-------------------- Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute or an hour or a day or even a year but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it will last forever.
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extreme



Registered: 04/05/11
Posts: 9,340
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Re: My butt hurts. [Re: daz01]
#16118332 - 04/20/12 10:35 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Last summer I was walking down the street and a good lookin' girl bout my age approached me from behind and grabbed my hand and held it and walked with me for about 20-30 seconds.
Does that count? Oh the possibilities..
I agree though women will make more subtle moves of their own, but it seems to be up to the dudes to make any substantial move.
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