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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: AIRDOG]
#14276731 - 04/12/11 06:56 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
AIRDOG said:
Quote:
AIRDOG said: get a better girl .... and dump that tricky manipulating slut
perhaps ram her in the ass before dumping her??
PERFECT opportunity to DSHSB  "Baby you kinda owe me..." and then dump her when its over
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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Kinko
Stranger



Registered: 01/07/11
Posts: 3,024
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: dshow] 2
#14276743 - 04/12/11 07:05 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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if that situation constitutes as rape than most men are/were rapists in a point of their lifetime.
Edited by Kinko (04/12/11 07:06 AM)
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pyronym
society sucks


Registered: 08/26/10
Posts: 261
Loc: Durkadurkastan
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: Kinko]
#14276749 - 04/12/11 07:10 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I'm just saying that if she clearly said no and was on the verge of blacking out and or actually blacking out and he was on top so he was in control then it could be considered rape. I'm not saying that it was rape. I think the story sounds off. I think that if she was at an after party and they were the last 2 up and started making out I'm sure he was all over her all night and she didn't want to lose her chance so abusing bf's trust says I'm going to my gf's house blah blah blah....
-------------------- Later, Tom My first growlog
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: pyronym]
#14276752 - 04/12/11 07:12 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
pyronym said: I'm just saying that if she clearly said no and was on the verge of blacking out and or actually blacking out and he was on top so he was in control then it could be considered rape. I'm not saying that it was rape. I think the story sounds off. I think that if she was at an after party and they were the last 2 up and started making out I'm sure he was all over her all night and she didn't want to lose her chance so abusing bf's trust says I'm going to my gf's house blah blah blah....
Exactly. Obviously the gf is lying here, but if she really was telling the truth that she said no etc, then yes it would be rape.
But I think everyone knows thats not the case.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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Anonymous #2
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: llevitron] 1
#14276768 - 04/12/11 07:19 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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RP your rage is completely misplaced. It is your gf who is at fault here.
What probably happened:
-Drunk dude and your drunk gf up all night talking, getting into deep topics, and as the night progresses getting increasingly more flirtatious.
-Your girl starts getting more and more horny, starts touching the guy here and there he starts responding...
-They start making out. She POSSIBLY half-heatedly says "we shouldn't do this" once or twice, but by this point her pussy is wetter than niagra falls. She has only had your dick for 3 years, and now here is this new good looking guy who she built up a connection with during the night who wants her like you haven't wanted her in years.
-She takes off his pants, and starts stroking his throbbing member.... you got the point from there
-wakes up, and immediately regrets what she did, frantically thinking how she can keep from looking at fault. "i was in and out of blackouts" --> look when her blackouts occur, pretty convenient timing eh?
The only way I would believe her at all is if she presses charges against this guy. And at the end of the day, your girlfriend got hammered and hung out alone with a guy she thought was attractive. That in itself would probably be a deal-breaker for me.
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TTT
Cultivate the inside


Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
#14276769 - 04/12/11 07:20 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I think you guys shouldn't make assumptions about something you will never experience.
Its not that easy to determine whats going on when such a situation occurs. She could be lying, but she could be telling the truth.
I got blackout drunk and my friends bf started...doing shit... It took me a while to wake up. I woke up a few times but was back out in a few seconds. I was soooooo wasted, initially, I literally thought an alien was grabbing me from under the bed, thats how rationally I was thinking. When I finally did come to enough to be like "wtffff are you doing", which was about all I could muster, I could barely hold myself up. My friend was also passed out drunk on the other side of him on the same bed the whole time. Thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach.
No one believed me and my friend continued dating him until she caught him cheating on her. No one believing me hurt so much. I didn't want to tell anyone because I felt ashamed, and dirty and disgusting. And then when I did, its like I said nothing at all. No one seemed to give a fuck or care or believe me. I hated, what happened and channeled it inward for a while.
Sooooooo, this really is too sensitive of a situation to make assumptions of based on what OP said. This is probably best left to him on whether or not he believes his girl.
Edited by TTT (04/12/11 07:23 AM)
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: TTT]
#14276781 - 04/12/11 07:25 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
TTT said: I think you guys shouldn't make assumptions about something you will never experience.
Its not that easy to determine whats going on when such a situation occurs. She could be lying, but she could be telling the truth.
I got blackout drunk and my friends bf started...doing shit... It took me a while to wake up. I woke up a few times but was back out in a few seconds. I was soooooo wasted, initially, I literally thought an alien was grabbing me from under the bed, thats how rationally I was thinking. When I finally did come to enough to be like "wtffff are you doing", which was about all I could muster, I could barely hold myself up. My friend was also passed out drunk on the other side of him on the same bed the whole time. Thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach.
No one believed me and my friend continued dating him until she caught him cheating on her. No one believing me hurt so much. I didn't want to tell anyone because I felt ashamed, and dirty and disgusting. And then when I did, its like I said nothing at all. No one seemed to give a fuck or care or believe me. I hated, what happened and channeled it inward for a while.
Sooooooo, this really is too sensitive of a situation to make assumptions of based on what OP said. This is probably best left to him on whether or not he believes his girl.
Then if thats the case she should be willing to press rape charges. And that really sucks, I can imagine how hard that would be to live with. My best friend was raped and it hurt her terribly.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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Anonymous #2
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: TTT]
#14276785 - 04/12/11 07:29 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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TTT what seems different in this case compared to yours, is that she admits she was still in control when they started making out and he had his hands down her pants.
While RP knows the situation best, he seems like a nice guy. Some girls will manipulate the shit out of nice guys, so we feel like it is our duty to at least give him a heads up as to what girls are easily capable of doing in situations like this.
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TTT
Cultivate the inside


Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: Anonymous #2]
#14276804 - 04/12/11 07:44 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I know, its fucked up. Theres a reason all but one of my friends are male. I have a hard time meeting women who aren't manipulative and ruthless. Many aren't, though.
I hope shes not trying to get away with simply consciously cheating because thats the kind of shit that makes people shake their head at someone who actually was hurt. People thought I was saying it for attention. Why in the fuck would I want that kind of attention? Being in a different country made it shittier.
I wish you and your girl the best of luck, OP.
Edited by TTT (04/12/11 07:45 AM)
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JesusGoneRogue


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: yogabunny]
#14276958 - 04/12/11 08:52 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said:
Quote:
dshow said: so funny, your mad at him. lol .
hes a guy looking to get laid. YOUR GIRL... Thats another story.
You dont have it backwards, but your looking at it wrong.
Look... you said early on you trusted her... but yet she hooks up and says she "blacked out". It looks like you have soo much trust in her. But bro ive seen this first hand. People cheat. yea alcohol was involved. But you dont think it was wierd she stayed out with that guy alone?? I mean come on man
qft.
im a girl and i can see right through this. why was she the last one up with some other dude anyway?????? i love how she's been able to manipulate you into feeling bad for her, when she is the one in a relationship who got fucked up and cheated.
yogabunny and dshow ftw. looks like they got it taken care of.
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BothHands
Dog Coffee



Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: TTT]
#14276967 - 04/12/11 08:54 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I'm really sorry about what happened to you. I'm lucky enough to have never been in that situation, and I can't even imagine how terrible it would be.
But you have to realize the OP said his girlfriend kissed the guy back. That's a completely different situation. She may have protested with her words, but her actions reciprocated his behavior.
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JesusGoneRogue


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: BothHands]
#14276973 - 04/12/11 08:55 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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and we all know that actions speak louder than words
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fungusfriends
FungusFriends


Registered: 06/26/10
Posts: 63
Loc: USA
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
#14276993 - 04/12/11 09:02 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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"She WANTED to kiss him back, she WANTED to fuck him. Sure she was drunk, I have made a lot of stupid sex decisions drunk. But the fact is I still made that decision. Its a lot easier to do when drunk, but in the end it all comes down to her"
This is it. Same shit happened to me man, and trust me all you can do is cut your losses and move on, because odds are it wont be the same again between you two
-------------------- Treat the earth well: it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children. We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we borrow it from our Children
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: fungusfriends]
#14277153 - 04/12/11 09:49 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
fungusfriends said: "She WANTED to kiss him back, she WANTED to fuck him. Sure she was drunk, I have made a lot of stupid sex decisions drunk. But the fact is I still made that decision. Its a lot easier to do when drunk, but in the end it all comes down to her"
This is it. Same shit happened to me man, and trust me all you can do is cut your losses and move on, because odds are it wont be the same again between you two
Once trust is lost, it is VERY hard to build back up. And in a situation like this I don't think she is worth it. Because its just going to happen again.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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TTT
Cultivate the inside


Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: BothHands]
#14277219 - 04/12/11 10:11 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said: I'm really sorry about what happened to you. I'm lucky enough to have never been in that situation, and I can't even imagine how terrible it would be.
But you have to realize the OP said his girlfriend kissed the guy back. That's a completely different situation. She may have protested with her words, but her actions reciprocated his behavior.
I understand thats what it most likely was, but I just wanted to throw in my side.
If the guy was pushy with her, it is possible to pressure someone into shit, especially while intoxicated.
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Society
Mmmm... pizza



Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 14,299
Loc:
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: fungusfriends]
#14277222 - 04/12/11 10:12 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I've been in a similar place as you, OP. From what you described, this does NOT sound anything like rape at all.
It sounds like alcohol helped her make bad decisions. And she should feel guilty. You should not.
Beating up a guy you don't know probably won't do anything remotely positive. Maybe slightly satisfy your carnal desire for vengeance and territoriality.
This is something you and your girlfriend need to deal with. Together you should figure out why this happened and how her behavior and/or your relationship needs to change to avoid this behavior and/or circumstance from being enabled.
I'm not the most trusting person, so I'm personally tempted to side with the folks who think she's likely being dishonest to some degree. Try to put yourself in her position: she's probably having a Hell of a time dealing with the guilt and fact she did something that probably contradicts her morality and view of her own self-control. The cognitive dissonance alone easily leads to dishonesty with oneself and certainly other people when speaking about the situation. So then is it really that unlikely for someone to twist the situation around in his or her head and change a drunken mistake to a rape?
Something worth considering.
-------------------- Delicious Pizza
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Anonymous #3
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: Society]
#14277307 - 04/12/11 10:34 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I also got to chime in because I've gotten the same story before, just with minor variations of the details. At the time, the story I got made my xgirlfriend seem mostly innocent and I felt more sorry for her than anything else. It was textbook manipulation though...I loved her and wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I thought I took it pretty well at first and was going to let it slide. But grew into beast that played havoc on my peace of mind...it ate at me for years man, and in retrospect it was one of the most foolish decisions I've made taking her back. Things were never what they could have been. I eventually did get over it, and she regained my trust. But it took years, and shit didn't work out anyway, so what the fuck was the point?! I would have been sooooo much better off cutting loose from the start. I highly recommend you don't try to salvage this situation. The humiliation of taking back a cheater will really mess with your esteem. I feel for you man, this is a horrible thing to deal with. But it isn't on you. She made a mistake, you ain't the one who needs to pay for it.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: Anonymous #3]
#14277512 - 04/12/11 11:29 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
So come to find out that later on that night, everyone had gone to bed at her half-sisters house except for her and this other guy who were still awake... They sat at the kitchen table bullshitting and drinking. I'm guessing this is about 4am or so
-If she was so drunk, why did her friends & half-sister leave her alone with a guy who wasn't her boyfriend?
Quote:
That's the last thing she REALLY remembers.... The next thing she knew, they were on the couch kissing......
They were kissing? Kissing goes too ways. It doesn't sound like she rejected the kissing. The hand down the pants is when she said she "couldn't"
Even if she got too drunk, what is she doing hanging out with strange guys getting so wasted she cannot control herself?
If she was so drunk why didn't her friends look out for her? Did she tell them to leave her there with mystery man?
Sounds sketch to me bro. When i'm with a girl she can drink, but i dont like her getting shitty with strangers because than shit gets weird.
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stranger_danger
psychonaut



Registered: 02/24/11
Posts: 1,738
Loc: somewhere around here
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: yogabunny]
#14277556 - 04/12/11 11:40 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said:
Quote:
dshow said: so funny, your mad at him. lol .
hes a guy looking to get laid. YOUR GIRL... Thats another story.
You dont have it backwards, but your looking at it wrong.
Look... you said early on you trusted her... but yet she hooks up and says she "blacked out". It looks like you have soo much trust in her. But bro ive seen this first hand. People cheat. yea alcohol was involved. But you dont think it was wierd she stayed out with that guy alone?? I mean come on man
qft.
im a girl and i can see right through this. why was she the last one up with some other dude anyway?????? i love how she's been able to manipulate you into feeling bad for her, when she is the one in a relationship who got fucked up and cheated.
get rid of the skeez... . she boned that dude willingly... u dont get drunk then wake up with your pants off... you also dont stay up at 4 am drinking with some dude u barely know ALONE when you have a boyfriend.... sounds like your woman is the problem... although i would still WRECK that dudes face, the bitch would be gone too
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Anonymous #4
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Re: She cheated on me... Not exactly "willfully"... [Re: stranger_danger]
#14277624 - 04/12/11 11:55 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
I got blackout drunk and my friends bf started...doing shit... It took me a while to wake up. I woke up a few times but was back out in a few seconds. I was soooooo wasted, initially, I literally thought an alien was grabbing me from under the bed, thats how rationally I was thinking. When I finally did come to enough to be like "wtffff are you doing", which was about all I could muster, I could barely hold myself up. My friend was also passed out drunk on the other side of him on the same bed the whole time. Thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach.
No one believed me and my friend continued dating him until she caught him cheating on her. No one believing me hurt so much. I didn't want to tell anyone because I felt ashamed, and dirty and disgusting. And then when I did, its like I said nothing at all. No one seemed to give a fuck or care or believe me. I hated, what happened and channeled it inward for a while.
Why do girls get blackout drunk with sleeze bag guys?
Seriously if i was a chick i wouldn't get so drunk I couldn't tell if i was being raped.
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