Home | Community | Message Board

Cannabis Seeds - Original Sensible Seeds
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
OfflineYacub
Psychedelic Redneck
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/05/09
Posts: 989
Loc: NOLA Flag
Last seen: 10 years, 2 days
Epic/Fail bachelor party stories
    #14267997 - 04/10/11 05:12 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

One of my friends was about to get married so we threw him a bachelor party at another friend's fishing camp.

Mistake # 1: He let his brother find the stripper for it.

Mistake # 2: His brother got this girl's business card from a guy he worked with.

Mistake # 3: Then hired her for the job without seeing her first.

Well, he got a girl that was short and stubby and a bit overweight with stretch marks the size of a barn and a hemrroid that scowled at you whenever she bent over. She apparently thought that having an extra rauchy show would make up for her lack of good looks, with the "highlight" involving using beer bottles for dildos. It was so fucked up everyone was laughing at her and heckled her all night. One guy shook up a beer can and after making a joke about cooling her hemrroid down, sprayed her down with it.

After the show she let everyone know she would suck all of our dicks for $20 each, and got mad and left when no one took her up on it.

Later that night we went to a real strip club and the best looking stripper in the place told us that she would have done the show for half of what the fat beast charged and she would have brought her cousin (who worked with her) along as well.

The whole night was pretty :doublefacepalm:  :winning:  :awewtf: and :lolsy:  all at the same time

It took his brother years to live that down.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Yacub]
    #14268014 - 04/10/11 05:16 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I've never been to a bachelor party. :sad:

Then again, I'm only 18 and 1/2. :shrug:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMisterMuscaria
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc: Flag
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: ROFL_my_ WAFFLE]
    #14268029 - 04/10/11 05:20 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

No one invites me to their wedding.

:foreveralone:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineTri High
Whigro
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/02/08
Posts: 11,769
Loc: Monaghan, Ireland
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: MisterMuscaria]
    #14268036 - 04/10/11 05:20 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

You can come to mine when I have it provided you don't speak.


--------------------
you just need money to get laid - starfire_xes


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMisterMuscaria
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc: Flag
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Tri High]
    #14268043 - 04/10/11 05:22 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I dont speak much anyway. :shrug:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCherk
Fashionable
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Yacub]
    #14268044 - 04/10/11 05:22 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Ive never been to a bachelor party either; but I have lived in a heroin house and partied with strippers, escorts, a hit man and drug dealers and never experienced anything as fucked up as your story


--------------------
I have considered such matters.

SIKE


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Tri High]
    #14268047 - 04/10/11 05:23 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Tri High said:
You can come to mine when I have it provided you don't speak.




Bride: And who are you?

MisterMuscaria: I post with your husband on a drug site called the shro...

Tri High: This is my old bowling buddy. :megacrankey:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCherk
Fashionable
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: MisterMuscaria]
    #14268053 - 04/10/11 05:24 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I'm in the same boat; all my friends that live a normal life and will get married soon I pissed off by being a crazy drug addict and talking shit


--------------------
I have considered such matters.

SIKE


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineTri High
Whigro
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/02/08
Posts: 11,769
Loc: Monaghan, Ireland
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: ROFL_my_ WAFFLE] * 1
    #14268058 - 04/10/11 05:25 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I actually kind of like that Friday song.


--------------------
you just need money to get laid - starfire_xes


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
Female User Gallery

Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: ROFL_my_ WAFFLE]
    #14269109 - 04/10/11 08:42 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

ROFL_my_ WAFFLE said:
I've never been to a bachelor party. :sad:

Then again, I'm only 18 and 1/2. :shrug:




I've never been to a bachelor party and I'll be thirty soon :shrug:


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleHairyTaco
Stranger
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/10/10
Posts: 474
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Yacub]
    #14269248 - 04/10/11 09:05 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Yacub said:
...
One guy shook up a beer can and after making a joke about cooling her hemrroid down, sprayed her down with it.
...




:lolsy:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMaurer


Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 5,203
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Yacub]
    #14269428 - 04/10/11 09:32 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Some people need to get a life. I wont mention names because I don't know your names.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineshroomie_glen
RedHotPussyLiquor
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 4,296
Loc: Narf Carolina Flag
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Maurer]
    #14269512 - 04/10/11 09:46 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Maurer said:
Some people need to get a life. I wont mention names because I don't know your names.



Thank you, that is very kind.


--------------------

No. No, man. Shit, no man.  I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' somethin' like that man.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMaurer


Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 5,203
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: shroomie_glen]
    #14269523 - 04/10/11 09:48 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

shroomie_glen said:
Quote:

Maurer said:
Some people need to get a life. I wont mention names because I don't know your names.



Thank you, that is very kind.


It's the least I can do.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleLobsterSauceDiscord
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 19,884
Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: HairyTaco]
    #14270777 - 04/11/11 06:03 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

HairyTaco said:
Quote:

Yacub said:
...
One guy shook up a beer can and after making a joke about cooling her hemrroid down, sprayed her down with it.
...




:lolsy:




:rofl2:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Great LSD Stories
( 1 2 all )
Mojo_Risin 11,148 21 08/16/03 01:30 AM
by NapkinOfDoom
* Your best drunk story....
( 1 2 all )
OldSpice 4,612 21 03/02/10 06:30 PM
by Humanwine
* Drinking stories mxdrk 862 10 02/28/05 10:20 PM
by chocbruce
* Favorite trip report/drug induced story that you found on the Shroomery? 0xYg3n 3,584 9 05/09/05 12:22 AM
by 0xYg3n
* Anybody have any "pure evil" stories? RandalFlagg 1,562 9 01/31/05 01:41 PM
by Snape
* I crashed a high school party last night (a report)
( 1 2 3 all )
ToTheSummit 6,173 55 02/10/05 05:01 PM
by Yoschie99
* Don't ever take shrooms and antibiotics! (Funny story you can learn from) kronnyQ 1,928 6 10/26/04 08:14 AM
by druqks46
* My Story of Phish at Alpine Valley this weekend. YouEnjoyMyself 363 0 06/27/04 06:06 PM
by YouEnjoyMyself

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
1,418 topic views. 5 members, 55 guests and 32 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.026 seconds spending 0.008 seconds on 14 queries.