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Yacub
Psychedelic Redneck



Registered: 09/05/09
Posts: 989
Loc: NOLA
Last seen: 10 years, 2 days
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Epic/Fail bachelor party stories
#14267997 - 04/10/11 05:12 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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One of my friends was about to get married so we threw him a bachelor party at another friend's fishing camp.
Mistake # 1: He let his brother find the stripper for it.
Mistake # 2: His brother got this girl's business card from a guy he worked with.
Mistake # 3: Then hired her for the job without seeing her first.
Well, he got a girl that was short and stubby and a bit overweight with stretch marks the size of a barn and a hemrroid that scowled at you whenever she bent over. She apparently thought that having an extra rauchy show would make up for her lack of good looks, with the "highlight" involving using beer bottles for dildos. It was so fucked up everyone was laughing at her and heckled her all night. One guy shook up a beer can and after making a joke about cooling her hemrroid down, sprayed her down with it.
After the show she let everyone know she would suck all of our dicks for $20 each, and got mad and left when no one took her up on it.
Later that night we went to a real strip club and the best looking stripper in the place told us that she would have done the show for half of what the fat beast charged and she would have brought her cousin (who worked with her) along as well.
The whole night was pretty and all at the same time
It took his brother years to live that down.
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ROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Yacub]
#14268014 - 04/10/11 05:16 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I've never been to a bachelor party. 
Then again, I'm only 18 and 1/2.
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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No one invites me to their wedding.
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Tri High
Whigro


Registered: 05/02/08
Posts: 11,769
Loc: Monaghan, Ireland
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
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You can come to mine when I have it provided you don't speak.
-------------------- you just need money to get laid - starfire_xes
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Tri High]
#14268043 - 04/10/11 05:22 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I dont speak much anyway.
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Cherk
Fashionable



Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Yacub]
#14268044 - 04/10/11 05:22 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Ive never been to a bachelor party either; but I have lived in a heroin house and partied with strippers, escorts, a hit man and drug dealers and never experienced anything as fucked up as your story
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I have considered such matters. SIKE
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ROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Tri High]
#14268047 - 04/10/11 05:23 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tri High said: You can come to mine when I have it provided you don't speak.
Bride: And who are you?
MisterMuscaria: I post with your husband on a drug site called the shro...
Tri High: This is my old bowling buddy.
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Cherk
Fashionable



Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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I'm in the same boat; all my friends that live a normal life and will get married soon I pissed off by being a crazy drug addict and talking shit
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I have considered such matters. SIKE
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Tri High
Whigro


Registered: 05/02/08
Posts: 11,769
Loc: Monaghan, Ireland
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
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I actually kind of like that Friday song.
-------------------- you just need money to get laid - starfire_xes
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Quote:
ROFL_my_ WAFFLE said: I've never been to a bachelor party. 
Then again, I'm only 18 and 1/2. 
I've never been to a bachelor party and I'll be thirty soon
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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HairyTaco
Stranger



Registered: 01/10/10
Posts: 474
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Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Yacub]
#14269248 - 04/10/11 09:05 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Yacub said: ... One guy shook up a beer can and after making a joke about cooling her hemrroid down, sprayed her down with it. ...
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Maurer


Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 5,203
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
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Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Yacub]
#14269428 - 04/10/11 09:32 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Some people need to get a life. I wont mention names because I don't know your names.
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shroomie_glen
RedHotPussyLiquor



Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 4,296
Loc: Narf Carolina
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: Maurer]
#14269512 - 04/10/11 09:46 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Maurer said: Some people need to get a life. I wont mention names because I don't know your names.
Thank you, that is very kind.
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No. No, man. Shit, no man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' somethin' like that man.
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Maurer


Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 5,203
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
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Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: shroomie_glen]
#14269523 - 04/10/11 09:48 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
shroomie_glen said:
Quote:
Maurer said: Some people need to get a life. I wont mention names because I don't know your names.
Thank you, that is very kind.
It's the least I can do.
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LobsterSauce


Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 19,884
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Re: Epic/Fail bachelor party stories [Re: HairyTaco]
#14270777 - 04/11/11 06:03 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
HairyTaco said:
Quote:
Yacub said: ... One guy shook up a beer can and after making a joke about cooling her hemrroid down, sprayed her down with it. ...

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