Some friends and I decided to try to trip on Ayahuasca. The only thing I will say about preparation is that it was done using an abbreviated method ahead of time. Unfortunately the MAOI portion was terrible for all involved, and the paranoia that arose, due to the unsettling mental affects of the MAOI, cut the traveling party to just two.
Just to highlight some very marked distinctions and similarities between this experience and my past experiences with LSD and Shrooms:
The purging was not delightful, but it was a very interesting experience. I normally feel really emo during my trips, especially at the beginning. This is surely corrolated with my low self esteem/social anxiety. I've never thrown up on psychedelics (though I did feel really crummy during the one time that I took mescaline), so i'm not sure if this is unique to the DMT experience, but the purging, the disorientation due to the MAOI, and the bad feelings all made me feel as if I were letting something go. And, hopefully, I have. More on this later.
My trip started with some visuals, I think. The ground started to take on a gravity that it did not have previously. It was almost vibrating, but not really. It was like drum beats. My mind started making all sorts of strange and wonderful connections(see above). I also got kind of paranoid. When I felt that it was safe to go inside (when I felt like my stomach had settled), I laid down and closed my eyes. My mind put on this really strange visualized movie. It was like it was a movie about my life, but it was pretty neon and stereotypical. I was obviously generating it in my mind's eye, but I didn't feel like I was trying or making any effort whatsoever. I've had this feeling on shrooms as well, but it has never EVER felt this effortless or visual. I think it played some pretty painful stuff for me, but it was also really entertaining. I kept thinking about how stereotypical the images I was thinking of were. Another thing was that the images were so complete. The details, or the amount of "details" that were implied by the images in my head were crisp. My friend and I were lying down on couches in the same room and just sat quietly, thinking. After a while we started talking, and I felt like I was coming down. We split the unused portion of the DMT containing elixer (we did not mix the MAOI and the DMT component together before consumption).
We sat around, roommates came back home, and we were all kind of just chilling out. I was still kind of in my head. Then, either because of a plateau or the amped up dosage, things got really really strange. My vision became pixellated. This is probably the strongest visual I've ever had on any substance. Sight became lots of little squares, and when I moved my head, they moved at different speeds, so they kind of shifted into eachother. My friend and I went out to smoke, and we talked about the world. Everything seemed to make sense. I had watched the documentary "The Buddha" from PBS recently, so I'm sure this helped shape our dialogue. We basically just had the same realizations about life being a fiction. We talked about how we interact with ghosts of people, and never actually people. We spoke of consciousness. It was all very clear and lucid. It was way more clear than my other experiences have been. It was scary clear.
Anyways, I started to come down, and so did my friend. I think he started to feel a little come back later on, but mine didn't return. I went to bed. I think from this trip I realized some things about myself, or, rather, I realized better ways of thinking of myself. I realized that my life, it's problems, is all I have, and that I have to be accepting of my shortcomings, that they are the world I live in just as much as my aspirations are.
Edited by Logonaut (04/10/11 03:23 PM)
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