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Anonymous #1

Do opposites attract?
    #14258962 - 04/08/11 02:49 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

The only girl I have ever loved is EXTREMELY SIMILAR TO ME with respect to interests and state of mind regarding just about everything.  The only real difference between us is that I have experimented with a shitload of drugs and she hasn't.

In any case, my attempts at getting her to love me back have all been in vain, so now I have accepted her as a friend and have moved on to jumping around on far less superior bitches with respect to the qualities that I appreciate in human beings.

Is this because I am destined to find someone who is wholly different from me?  Is true happiness in a relationship only attained when two completely different people find each other and start discovering new aspects of the world because of their differences?

My best friend is currently madly in love with a girl who was the complete, polar-fucking-opposite of him before they met each other.  They have learned so much from one another that I cannot be anything but stupefied at the textbook charm of their love.

What do you guys think?


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Anonymous #2

Re: Do opposites attract? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14258969 - 04/08/11 02:51 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Opposite definitely attract.

But you can still date someone who is similar. Depends how similar i suppose.


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Invisiblepotgrrl
Tripper Grrl
Female


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 641
Re: Do opposites attract? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #14258988 - 04/08/11 02:54 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

You tend to be attracted to people who have traits that you admire - men or women, friends or lovers.

Sexual chemistry is an extra layer on top of this initial attraction.  Check out David Deida's materials about the masculine essence vs the feminine essence and the sexual polar arc for some excellent thinking.

One last thing to remember, as much as it sucks sometimes to admit:  Healthy attracts healthy.  Unhealthy attracts unhealthy.  So, if you find yourself with a crazy partner, that's also a reflection of your own craziness :wink:

PotGrrl


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OfflineJoolz
Male

Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 3,614
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: Do opposites attract? [Re: potgrrl]
    #14259405 - 04/08/11 04:06 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

The key is to find someone open minded and similar, but who also has differing ideas from you. Too much difference and not enough open mindedness will crash a relationship, just like too many similarities will leave you with nothing new to talk about after a while.


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Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.


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InvisibleMisterMuscaria
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc: Flag
Re: Do opposites attract? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14259488 - 04/08/11 04:22 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Some people Im attracted to are complete opposites some are like female versions of me.

Attraction doesnt seem to care whether she's anything like me or not.

For a committed relationship I like someone whose similar to me so that we can agree on activities and arent doing our own things seperatley.


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OfflineEmeraldEyes
Female


Registered: 04/05/11
Posts: 57
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: Do opposites attract? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14261205 - 04/08/11 11:15 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

My guy and I are VERY different. It scares me every once in a while. I'm afraid of being too different to last.

However... He has been my best friend for about 5 years and everyday is still exciting. We are different but in those differences have opened so many possibilities.

I have had the honor of learning so much from him and now I'm the girl who knows how to change my oil in my truck. Just an example of something I never thought I'd do.

I'm lucky to have found someone who respects my opinions but still maintains his own ideas. Life would be so boring if we agreed on everything. His mind is sexy. He challenges me. :-)

For now, I wouldn't have it any other way. :-)


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"Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded."

-Abraham Lincoln


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Offlineskiddy
RockStar
Male

Registered: 03/25/11
Posts: 366
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
Re: Do opposites attract? [Re: EmeraldEyes]
    #14261665 - 04/09/11 02:04 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I 100% think opposites attract my wife and i are very different in style music taste priorities and likes

In high-school she was into hip-hop rap n stuff and i brought my lespaul everyday to practice and jam in my free time rocker meets rapper.

People use to ask her why do you like him your nothing alike...

Were like peanutbutter and jelly nothing alike but great together.


--------------------
PESH : Pinning
Transeski : colonizing
Orrisa : colonizing
Mex a : colonizing

You're not a mycologist just because you grow mushrooms.


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InvisibleTTT
Cultivate the inside
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
Re: Do opposites attract? [Re: skiddy]
    #14262077 - 04/09/11 07:51 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I look for people who possess basic qualities that are similar to me so fundamentally we have a lot in common. Then from there, I tend to look at their other interests and look for things that are related in some way to what I care about so common ground can be found, but I value different perspectives, challenges to my thought and intellect. So in that sense, I tend to like people similar to me with different interests.

Opposites can attract and I'm sure you can gain a lot from a relationship with someone vastly different if you kept an open-mind, however, I don't think two completely different people could have a succesful long realtionship. I'm sure lust would have to be a big founding stone in what builds the relationship.


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