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OfflineSGumpl
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Registered: 04/08/11
Posts: 1
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Need help with pain and suicide
    #14258067 - 04/08/11 11:21 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I previously took a lot of my pain pills, and went to sleep in my car. Someone noticed that I was up against the wheel and not moving and called the police. I was in a coma, and they took me to the hospital administered narcan, and did their thing to bring me back.

I am in horrible pain from a fall at work. It has destroyed my life completely. I feel that I am a poor example as a father [my kids are grown and have kids of their own]. I have dealt with this pain for 10 years, although the last year has been extremely worse. I stay home and never go out, as I never know when the break-through pain is coming, and I do not want people to see me on the ground crying.

I used to be a good man, father, grandfather, and friend. I am not that any longer. I never even imagined how pain affects your life, and when it is cronic, it is the very worst thing that one could imagine.

I want to die, but I want it to be something that cannot be stopped or taken back. My family, and a lady friend keeps close eyes on me. I have been to the psych ward, I have a psychologist, and psychiarist, which the BWC pays for. They also pay for the significant medications that I have to take. I had surgery on my neck, which did not help, and I have been denied surgery on my Thoracic area, despite 4 vertbras touch the spinal cord. I even was denied a new MRI recently, which was to see why my pain increased so much.

Before this, I never even needed an asprian.

I am wondering if anyone has any suggestions regarding pain, suicide, and some helpful solutions to my situation. I am thinking that I could use a razor to my major vein in the neck, but that too can be stopped. I really want a solution that cannot be stopped by anyone, or my family that keeps a close eye on me.

Please
need help
Users may choose 2 (7 total votes)
pain
-
6 86%
suicide
-
1 14%
Votes accepted from (04/08/11 12:00 PM) to (04/20/11 11:09 AM)
You must vote before you can view the results of this poll.


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Offlinestranger_danger
psychonaut
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Registered: 02/24/11
Posts: 1,738
Loc: somewhere around here
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: Need help with pain and suicide [Re: SGumpl]
    #14258091 - 04/08/11 11:28 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

hmm, this is a tricky one, especially because i believe in ones personal right to suicide.

i would suggest not doing unless you are sure... think long and hard about the sadness this will cause to your family and those you love/who love you.

i dont want to be the one to guide you to a painless method of death, there is plenty of self evident and obvious methods to do this if you really wanted it.

I just want you to really think. Look at your children/grandchildren... how would that affect them? i know you wouldnt have to live with anything anymore.. but they WILL...


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Offlinei like cow poo
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Registered: 10/20/09
Posts: 4,041
Loc: Mother Nature's Vagina
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Re: Need help with pain and suicide [Re: SGumpl]
    #14258093 - 04/08/11 11:29 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Listen mayne, don't kill yourself. That would DEVASTATE your family! Just think of how they would feel when they found out.:shake:
I am not qualified to give suggestions on how to deal with pain but I believe you MUST find activities to keep your mind occupied.
As for the pain I've heard heavy indica strains help.
LISTEN to Bob Marley:rastamon:, read the book ULTIMATE POWER it is great and will help you alot.
Most importantly you MUST talk to your family about how you feel. This will allow you to become closer and they will understand and still love you!:hug:
I am always here to talk my friend:sunny:


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Invisiblebonnahoo
A Friend
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 371
Re: Need help with pain and suicide [Re: SGumpl]
    #14258101 - 04/08/11 11:32 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I know how you feel. I am going through a similar situation. I too have chronic pain and have been doing tons of medical shit for the past 4 years. I had been taking oxycontin until recently when I decided I didn't want pills to control my life anymore. I could tell that while I was all medicated I just wasn't myself. I too often thought of suicide and still do, I just hope that goes away. I know it feels like life is not worth living sometimes but everyone assures me it will resolve. I also just lost the love of my life, I know it was a direct result of the meds, I just wasn't who I used to be when I was around her and it took a huge toll on our relationship and ultimately ended it. I feel like I've lost everything. I even lost my doctor that was giving me pain meds, so even if I needed a non-narcotic it's not happening. I got kicked out of pain management because I tested negative for oxy, which is because I made the decision not to take it every day. I guess he thinks i'm selling. I am 2 months from being without a home, no girlfriend, no job, no money, no help for my pain... I don't know what I have left except a few family members, but I'm not going to give into suicide and I don't think you should either. I know you have been dealing with this for a long time but try and focus on other things. Go take a walk or see a movie. I know it's hard to get motivated but it will be worth it if you can force yourself to move. Just please don't choose suicide, it will hurt your family so much more than you are hurting now... you love them don't you?


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Offlinei like cow poo
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Registered: 10/20/09
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Re: Need help with pain and suicide [Re: i like cow poo]
    #14258105 - 04/08/11 11:33 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Also you were a great man before!
You can be a great man again! All it takes is a lil motivation and direction. The path will be tough but it will be worth it!
Also check out Buddhist meditation because it can seriously help with managing pain, emotionally and physically.
If you wish to change you must actually CHANGE. In other words try our suggestions! :rastamon:


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OfflineGrungeman17
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Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 1,436
Loc: usa Flag
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Re: Need help with pain and suicide [Re: SGumpl]
    #14258108 - 04/08/11 11:34 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

it is against the ethical code of this community to condone self inflicted pain and/or sucide, i suggest you call your doctor and let him know how you are currently feeling, I sympathise deeply with you in your situation but options your poll expresses is not going to help you one bit in anyway shape or form. call your doctor... and let god be with you my brother.


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Invisiblebigmike7104
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Registered: 07/12/10
Posts: 1,395
Loc: USA Flag
Re: Need help with pain and suicide [Re: Grungeman17]
    #14258145 - 04/08/11 11:43 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

maybe medical marijuana would help?


--------------------
Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines


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OfflineArcturus17

Registered: 12/11/10
Posts: 96
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Need help with pain and suicide *DELETED* [Re: Grungeman17]
    #14258146 - 04/08/11 11:43 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Post deleted by Arcturus17

Reason for deletion: .



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Invisiblebonnahoo
A Friend
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 371
Re: Need help with pain and suicide [Re: Arcturus17]
    #14258227 - 04/08/11 12:02 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

You also should try yoga and some mind-body exercises... I know it may sound crazy but that's what I'm doing now and it's not making anything worse.


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OnlineKickleM
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Registered: 12/16/06
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Re: Need help with pain and suicide [Re: bonnahoo]
    #14258621 - 04/08/11 01:43 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

bonnahoo said:
You also should try yoga and some mind-body exercises... I know it may sound crazy but that's what I'm doing now and it's not making anything worse.




I'll second this. There is a man named Jon Kabit-Zinn who developed a mindfulness-based stress reduction (MSBR) program over at John Hopkins medical. The program is used for those who have chronic pain resulting from untreatable physiological problems. Such as a back problem that is inoperable. It mostly involves very mindful and slow paced stretching (yoga) and meditation exercises. The results have been good over the last 20 years, although nothing is 100% in this world.

Might be worth checking out before you give up hope.


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain


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Invisiblebigmike7104
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Posts: 1,395
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Re: Need help with pain and suicide [Re: Kickle]
    #14258790 - 04/08/11 02:15 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)



--------------------
Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines


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OnlineKickleM
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Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,856
Last seen: 1 minute, 15 seconds
Re: Need help with pain and suicide [Re: bigmike7104]
    #14261491 - 04/09/11 12:40 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

:thumbup:
thanks for the book link.

OP if you look into the program and find it interesting, I can send you some of the audio files that often accompany the homework aspect of the program. You could take a listen to see if you like the presentation or not before investing any money. Shoot me a PM if you're interested.


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain


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