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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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junky
#14257374 - 04/08/11 07:55 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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whats everyone been upto lately? i am healing, & trying to manage a sober living. lots of cigarettes and a little bit of alcohol to bring the nite to a close. if anything. tons of stress, i feel like i am holding it all inside, bottling it all up. im worried about the time when it all explodes, and i self destruct.
but i must keep composure & be supportive thru all this. put all my problems on the backburner for now. i am doing a good job putting them off but it feels like im just hiding them behind a mask, that permanently has a smile.
havent had much time to relax at all. or to post. in my free time i have been reading..
i just started reading " Junky " by william s burroughs. anyone here read this..?

it is very well written, i love it so far. laugh/cry, either way it hits pretty close to home, for those who have ever had a "junk" habit. i highly recomend it.
PS~ miss u guys
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Equipto


Registered: 03/12/11
Posts: 1,280
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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I don't have any experience with your situation, but it sounds like if you've already been sober for multiple days in a row you should be good to go. I'm sure its a bitch and I know nothing about it, but I'm a strong believer in mind over matter. You can definitely do this and stay off that shit, good vibes all the way    
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28064212
Special Agent Dale Cooper




Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 12,115
Loc: Twin Peaks
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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I love William!
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Yay 

Thats good to hear. Keep up the good work!
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Quote:
28064212 said: I love William!
when i got the book i was under the impression that it was a fictional story about a character, but the more i read it seems more like a biography of the author's junkie days. i saw the movie Naked Lunch, im sure the book is better
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thissongis
Stranger Danger



Registered: 10/07/09
Posts: 2,420
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Im glad you're helping yourself, no one likes to see someone with a hardcore opiate addiction. Especially a hello kitty loving female lol, just dont make sense. Just think about how much money you are going to be saving, and years of your life.
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biff
Boom



Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 1,860
Loc: america
Last seen: 13 days, 19 hours
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lil_demented
Loner will lone


Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 6,146
Last seen: 1 month, 9 days
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 Here ellen, you can borrow some of my willpower. I seem to have a little extra here lately.
Is this the same book in it's entirety? http://www.epubbud.com/read.php?g=VK9PYZER
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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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yes im pretty sure its the same book just different cover. its the 50th anniversery edition or something i think it has an extra chapter in it or something. i saw that one at Borders for 15$. u should pick it up if u can
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ifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO
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I was gonna make a post about where the heck you were.
These Perique blend cigs were very disappointing.
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propensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶



Registered: 01/06/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Quote:
ifoundwaldo said: I was gonna make a post about where the heck you were.
These Perique blend cigs were very disappointing. 
Perique Amspirs?
The best Amspir imo
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۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ ̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆
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ifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO
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Quote:
propensity said:
Quote:
ifoundwaldo said: I was gonna make a post about where the heck you were.
These Perique blend cigs were very disappointing. 
Perique Amspirs?
The best Amspir imo
Yeah. I prefer the organic blend actually...
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Takura001
Stranger than strange



Registered: 01/29/11
Posts: 525
Loc: KS
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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good hear your doing better.I know it must be hard with everything you are going through right now, but I believe you can do it
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shroomie_glen
RedHotPussyLiquor



Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 4,296
Loc: Narf Carolina
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Burroughs is my favorite author... You should check out THE Place OF Dead Roads.... Its my fave. by him...... Its about a time-traveling murderous homosexual cowboy.... I know, sounds badass no?
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No. No, man. Shit, no man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' somethin' like that man.
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propensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶



Registered: 01/06/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Quote:
ifoundwaldo said:
Quote:
propensity said:
Quote:
ifoundwaldo said: I was gonna make a post about where the heck you were.
These Perique blend cigs were very disappointing. 
Perique Amspirs?
The best Amspir imo
Yeah. I prefer the organic blend actually...
Organics are brutal. I dig em.
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۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ ̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆
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TranscendingLife
I Don't Need a Life to Live



Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 21,627
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Quote:
ellenallien said:
Quote:
28064212 said: I love William!
when i got the book i was under the impression that it was a fictional story about a character, but the more i read it seems more like a biography of the author's junkie days. i saw the movie Naked Lunch, im sure the book is better
The movie is more about how the book was written. & yes, Junky is semi-autobiographical. I sent ya a about it. Enjoy
-------------------- AMU: We Quickly Answer Questions Here "One must accept the probability of failure to experience the elation of success." - TranscendingLife “A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.” - James Joyce
      How I Do EVERYTHING      "Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart…. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes."- Carl Jung "Anything that can be done chemically can be done by other means."- William S. Burroughs "You are as dead now as you will ever be" - Seth
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ifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO
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Quote:
propensity said:
Quote:
ifoundwaldo said:
Quote:
propensity said:
Quote:
ifoundwaldo said: I was gonna make a post about where the heck you were.
These Perique blend cigs were very disappointing. 
Perique Amspirs?
The best Amspir imo
Yeah. I prefer the organic blend actually...
Organics are brutal. I dig em.
More of a natural tobacco taste to my palate. I do use a filter so they're not too brutal. 
idk. I could've gotten a shitty bag of Perique too.
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propensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶



Registered: 01/06/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Haha the unfiltered ones are quite an experience. Good for after a big meal.
Ever had Bali Shag?
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۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ ̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆
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ifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO
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Quote:
propensity said: Haha the unfiltered ones are quite an experience. Good for after a big meal.
Ever had Bali Shag?
For sure I have. The Halfzware is nice, but I def prefer American Spirits. I've smoked the Organics unfiltered too- not something I would want to repeat.
I like to melt JWH on the tobacco so that it gets me high at the same time.
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Junkie is a great book, and an easy read, which is great because you can read it two or three times without getting bored, which reminds me...
Do cigarettes help getting off of stuff? I've been thinking of getting an e-cigarette and starting a hardcore habit, to quell the need for when it comes...
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Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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Apostle
Philanthropist



Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
Last seen: 1 year, 24 days
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i wish u the best
tryin to recover myself
cant keep comin back to this thread tho, that book cover, believe it or not, looks too tempting
good luck!
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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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the book cover, tell me about it! hehe  the book is very enticing too, makes me want to jump back into the world of junk even just for a second. i started reading it to kind of live vicariously through the text. and its sort of working. i just grin & giggle some of the writting is still very relevant to present day..
i will check out Queer, and also im thinking about reading Naked Lunch
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thoughts
imagining.


Registered: 10/06/07
Posts: 16,816
Loc: here.
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GOOD job ellen, keep it up!

Surround yourself with people that will support your sobriety ...or semi-sobriety. Really glad to see you're doing better.
-------------------- I need Jesus.
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gerryjarcia
biophiliac



Registered: 05/29/10
Posts: 1,889
Loc: the woods
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hey Ellen
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"We are all intoxicated. We were born into an insane asylum, a world crazy-making. We believe what we see and hear. The real myth is the myth of sanity, of rationality: it's a disease that is eating away at the earth. All the poisons flow from our denial. We deny madness, we forget our crimes, we dismember the corpse, we imprison our children. We need poison to poison the poison, to remember the sacred nature of intoxication, the green body of the young god." ~ Dale Pendell
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Toe_Jam
Bluefoot Bandit



Registered: 04/15/10
Posts: 3,693
Loc: Around some corner...
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Hey yeah, don't let that shit keep you down.
I was there you have my sympathy. Smoke alot of weed if you like weed, I went mushroom hunting (it is a very involved hobby which is great for post withdraw boredom) which has been quite rewarding and got me interested in this site.
Keep it real, stay off the junk
-------------------- God lay his finger at the Mouth of the Serpent March 1984   A pleasing land of drowsy head it was, Of dreams that wave before the half-shut eye, And of gay castles in the clouds that pass, For ever flushing round a summer sky. -Castle of Indolence
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DrMambo
hamburger time



Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 6,197
Loc: 53rd & 3rd
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Quote:
todlow said:
Quote:
ellenallien said:
Quote:
28064212 said: I love William!
when i got the book i was under the impression that it was a fictional story about a character, but the more i read it seems more like a biography of the author's junkie days. i saw the movie Naked Lunch, im sure the book is better
The movie is more about how the book was written. & yes, Junky is semi-autobiographical. I sent ya a about it. Enjoy 
yeah, naked lunch, the book, is more or less the rantings of an amphetamine loaded writer secluding himself with a typewriter and his psychosis
a friend of mine was reading through yearbook dedications recently, and one was from a teacher who gave a list of authors to read, one was, "and William S. Burroughs.... but not too much"
-------------------- "Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"
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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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hihi everyone 
& heyyyyyy i LOVE the Perique blend american spirits. i will smoke the organic blend too, i agree it is less harsh. but i like the periques  sorry u di'int :/
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BothHands
Dog Coffee



Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
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So how long have you been clean? I'm really happy for ya. 
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ifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO
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Quote:
ellenallien said: hihi everyone 
& heyyyyyy i LOVE the Perique blend american spirits. i will smoke the organic blend too, i agree it is less harsh. but i like the periques  sorry u di'int :/
you better be sorry! jk.
best of luck in your recovery, ellen. how's your boyfriend doing?
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