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OfflineMello KittyS
Beautiful Burnout
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Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
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Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
junky
    #14257374 - 04/08/11 07:55 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

whats everyone been upto lately? i am healing, & trying to manage a sober living.
lots of cigarettes and a little bit of alcohol to bring the nite to a close. if anything.
tons of stress, i feel like i am holding it all inside, bottling it all up.
im worried about the time when it all explodes, and i self destruct.

but i must keep composure & be supportive thru all this.
put all my problems on the backburner for now. i am doing a good job putting them off
but it feels like im just hiding them behind a mask, that permanently has a smile.

havent had much time to relax at all. or to post.
in my free time i have been reading..

i just started reading " Junky " by william s burroughs.
anyone here read this..?


it is very well written, i love it so far. laugh/cry, either way it hits pretty close to home,
for those who have ever had a "junk" habit. i highly recomend it.



PS~ miss u guys :happyheart:


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OfflineEquipto


Registered: 03/12/11
Posts: 1,280
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: junky [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14257383 - 04/08/11 08:00 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I don't have any experience with your situation, but it sounds like if you've already been sober for multiple days in a row you should be good to go. I'm sure its a bitch and I know nothing about it, but I'm a strong believer in mind over matter. You can definitely do this and stay off that shit, good vibes all the way :mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2:


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Offline28064212
Special Agent Dale Cooper
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Re: junky [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14257391 - 04/08/11 08:02 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I love William!


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out
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Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
Re: junky [Re: 28064212]
    #14257402 - 04/08/11 08:05 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Yay :smile:

:feelsgoodman:

Thats good to hear. Keep up the good work!


--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One


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OfflineMello KittyS
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Re: junky [Re: 28064212]
    #14257516 - 04/08/11 08:59 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

28064212 said:
I love William!




when i got the book i was under the impression that it was a fictional story about a character, but the more i read it seems more like a biography of the author's junkie days. i saw the movie Naked Lunch, im sure the book is better


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Offlinethissongis
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Re: junky [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14257522 - 04/08/11 09:02 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Im glad you're helping yourself, no one likes to see someone with a hardcore opiate addiction. Especially a hello kitty loving female lol, just dont make sense. Just think about how much money you are going to be saving, and years of your life.


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Offlinebiff
Boom
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Re: junky [Re: thissongis]
    #14257614 - 04/08/11 09:31 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

:hug:


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Offlinelil_demented
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Re: junky [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14257630 - 04/08/11 09:35 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

:psychsplit:
Here ellen, you can borrow some of my willpower. I seem to have a little extra here lately. 

Is this the same book in it's entirety?
http://www.epubbud.com/read.php?g=VK9PYZER


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OfflineMello KittyS
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Re: junky [Re: lil_demented]
    #14258692 - 04/08/11 01:56 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

yes im pretty sure its the same book just different cover. its the 50th anniversery edition or something i think it has an extra chapter in it or something. i saw that one at Borders for 15$. u should pick it up if u can


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Invisibleifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO Flag
Re: junky [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14258718 - 04/08/11 02:01 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I was gonna make a post about where the heck you were.

These Perique blend cigs were very disappointing. :sad:


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Offlinepropensity
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Re: junky [Re: ifoundwaldo]
    #14258732 - 04/08/11 02:04 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

ifoundwaldo said:
I was gonna make a post about where the heck you were.

These Perique blend cigs were very disappointing. :sad:




Perique Amspirs?

The best Amspir imo


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Invisibleifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO Flag
Re: junky [Re: propensity]
    #14258741 - 04/08/11 02:06 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

propensity said:
Quote:

ifoundwaldo said:
I was gonna make a post about where the heck you were.

These Perique blend cigs were very disappointing. :sad:




Perique Amspirs?

The best Amspir imo




Yeah. I prefer the organic blend actually...


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OfflineTakura001
Stranger than strange
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Registered: 01/29/11
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Re: junky [Re: propensity]
    #14258755 - 04/08/11 02:08 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

good hear your doing better.I know it must be hard with everything you are going through right now, but I believe you can do it :smile:


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Offlineshroomie_glen
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Re: junky [Re: Takura001]
    #14258766 - 04/08/11 02:11 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Burroughs is my favorite author...
You should check out
THE Place OF Dead Roads.... Its my fave. by him......
Its about a time-traveling murderous homosexual cowboy....
I know, sounds badass no?


--------------------

No. No, man. Shit, no man.  I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' somethin' like that man.


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Offlinepropensity
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Re: junky [Re: ifoundwaldo]
    #14258768 - 04/08/11 02:12 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

ifoundwaldo said:
Quote:

propensity said:
Quote:

ifoundwaldo said:
I was gonna make a post about where the heck you were.

These Perique blend cigs were very disappointing. :sad:




Perique Amspirs?

The best Amspir imo




Yeah. I prefer the organic blend actually...




Organics are brutal. I dig em.


--------------------


۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢
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InvisibleTranscendingLife
I Don't Need a Life to Live
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Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 21,627
Re: junky [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14258778 - 04/08/11 02:13 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

ellenallien said:
Quote:

28064212 said:
I love William!




when i got the book i was under the impression that it was a fictional story about a character, but the more i read it seems more like a biography of the author's junkie days. i saw the movie Naked Lunch, im sure the book is better




The movie is more about how the book was written. & yes, Junky is semi-autobiographical. I sent ya a :pm: about it. Enjoy :awethumb:


--------------------
AMU: We Quickly Answer Questions Here
"One must accept the probability of failure to experience the elation of success." - TranscendingLife
“A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.” - James Joyce
:sporedrop::sporedrop::mushroomgrow::sporedrop::sporedrop::wow:How I Do EVERYTHING:wow::sporedrop::sporedrop::mushroomgrow::sporedrop::sporedrop:
"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart…. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes."- Carl Jung
"Anything that can be done chemically can be done by other means."- William S. Burroughs
"You are as dead now as you will ever be" - Seth


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Invisibleifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO Flag
Re: junky [Re: propensity]
    #14258787 - 04/08/11 02:15 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

propensity said:
Quote:

ifoundwaldo said:
Quote:

propensity said:
Quote:

ifoundwaldo said:
I was gonna make a post about where the heck you were.

These Perique blend cigs were very disappointing. :sad:




Perique Amspirs?

The best Amspir imo




Yeah. I prefer the organic blend actually...




Organics are brutal. I dig em.




More of a natural tobacco taste to my palate.
I do use a filter so they're not too brutal. :smile:

idk. I could've gotten a shitty bag of Perique too.


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Offlinepropensity
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Re: junky [Re: ifoundwaldo]
    #14258818 - 04/08/11 02:21 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Haha the unfiltered ones are quite an experience. Good for after a big meal.

Ever had Bali Shag?


--------------------


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̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆


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Invisibleifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO Flag
Re: junky [Re: propensity]
    #14258886 - 04/08/11 02:36 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

propensity said:
Haha the unfiltered ones are quite an experience. Good for after a big meal.

Ever had Bali Shag?




For sure I have. The Halfzware is nice, but I def prefer American Spirits.
I've smoked the Organics unfiltered too- not something I would want to repeat.

I like to melt JWH on the tobacco so that it gets me high at the same time. :stoned:


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Offline13.step
cynical bastard
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Registered: 08/30/09
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Re: junky [Re: ifoundwaldo]
    #14258957 - 04/08/11 02:48 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Junkie is a great book, and an easy read, which is great
because you can read it two or three times without getting
bored, which reminds me...:hehehe:

Do cigarettes help getting off of stuff? I've been thinking of
getting an e-cigarette and starting a hardcore habit, to quell the
need
for when it comes...


--------------------
Not to be taken seriously by any means!


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OfflineApostle
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Re: junky [Re: 13.step]
    #14258973 - 04/08/11 02:51 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

i wish u the best


tryin to recover myself


cant keep comin back to this thread tho, that book cover, believe it or not, looks too tempting


good luck!


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OfflineMello KittyS
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Re: junky [Re: Apostle]
    #14259572 - 04/08/11 04:38 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

the book cover, tell me about it! hehe :drooling:
the book is very enticing too, makes me want to jump back into the world of junk
even just for a second. i started reading it to kind of live vicariously through the text.
and its sort of working. i just grin & giggle some of the writting is still very relevant to present day..

i will check out Queer, and also im thinking about reading Naked Lunch


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Invisiblethoughts
imagining.
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Re: junky [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14259611 - 04/08/11 04:45 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

GOOD job ellen, keep it up!
:bigyesnod:

Surround yourself with people that will support your sobriety ...or semi-sobriety.
Really glad to see you're doing better.


--------------------
I need Jesus.


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Invisiblegerryjarcia
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Re: junky [Re: thoughts]
    #14259636 - 04/08/11 04:50 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

hey Ellen :hug:


--------------------


"We are all intoxicated. We were born into an insane asylum, a world crazy-making. We believe what we see and hear. The real myth is the myth of sanity, of rationality: it's a disease that is eating away at the earth. All the poisons flow from our denial. We deny madness, we forget our crimes, we dismember the corpse, we imprison our children. We need poison to poison the poison, to remember the sacred nature of intoxication, the green body of the young god." ~ Dale Pendell


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InvisibleToe_Jam
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Re: junky [Re: gerryjarcia]
    #14259665 - 04/08/11 04:56 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

:oogieboogie:Hey yeah, don't let that shit keep you down.

I was there you have my sympathy. Smoke alot of weed if you like weed, I went mushroom hunting (it is a very involved hobby which is great for post withdraw boredom) which has been quite rewarding and got me interested in this site.

Keep it real, stay off the junk


--------------------
God lay his finger at the Mouth of the Serpent

March 1984


A pleasing land of drowsy head it was,
Of dreams that wave before the half-shut eye,
And of gay castles in the clouds that pass,
For ever flushing round a summer sky. -Castle of Indolence


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OfflineDrMambo
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Re: junky [Re: TranscendingLife]
    #14259681 - 04/08/11 04:58 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

todlow said:
Quote:

ellenallien said:
Quote:

28064212 said:
I love William!




when i got the book i was under the impression that it was a fictional story about a character, but the more i read it seems more like a biography of the author's junkie days. i saw the movie Naked Lunch, im sure the book is better




The movie is more about how the book was written. & yes, Junky is semi-autobiographical. I sent ya a :pm: about it. Enjoy :awethumb:




yeah, naked lunch, the book, is more or less the rantings of an amphetamine loaded writer secluding himself with a typewriter and his psychosis

a friend of mine was reading through yearbook dedications recently, and one was from a teacher who gave a list of authors to read, one was, "and William S. Burroughs.... but not too much"
:lolsy:


--------------------
"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"


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OfflineMello KittyS
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Re: junky [Re: DrMambo]
    #14259763 - 04/08/11 05:17 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

hihi everyone :wave:

& heyyyyyy i LOVE the Perique blend american spirits.
i will smoke the organic blend too, i agree it is less harsh.
but i like the periques :happyheart:
sorry u di'int :/


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OfflineBothHands
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Re: junky [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14259778 - 04/08/11 05:20 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

So how long have you been clean?  I'm really happy for ya. :heart::hug:


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Invisibleifoundwaldo


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO Flag
Re: junky [Re: Mello Kitty]
    #14259807 - 04/08/11 05:28 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

ellenallien said:
hihi everyone :wave:

& heyyyyyy i LOVE the Perique blend american spirits.
i will smoke the organic blend too, i agree it is less harsh.
but i like the periques :happyheart:
sorry u di'int :/




you better be sorry! jk.

best of luck in your recovery, ellen.
how's your boyfriend doing?


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