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oxalic32


Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 3,615
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
#14255329 - 04/07/11 08:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I wouldn't take the advice of "manning up".
Having come out of a long relationship i just think its poor advice. With a long relationship there is a lot of attachment and emotions.
When all of that breaks it is going to hurt. To simply ignore that hurt isn't dealing with it. It does hurt. It does suck. You need to recognize that, feel it, and then move on.
It isn't the end of the world, but if you've ever come out of a long term relationship (one that was multiple years long) you know it hurts and you know it sucks.
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shroomgatherer
Connoisseur of the finer things



Registered: 11/08/07
Posts: 1,731
Loc: Florida
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
#14255331 - 04/07/11 08:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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it's worse than withdrawls from dope..it sucks...I feel your pain...sleep a couple hours wake up and feel the hurt..bro been there just recently..time helps the most..ive been getting so fucked up b/c it adds time to the pain..prolly not a good idea...i prolly said too much
but do something for yourself and don't let the pain get to you. you were doing okay before you met her right?
peace be good
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openmind
curious


Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 13,904
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: Sophistic Radiance] 1
#14255333 - 04/07/11 08:11 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I hear ya man, I think there's quite a bit of us that have been there before....I don't know your particular situation but it's always a major fucking bummer. My lady of damn near 4 years left me a couple years ago. Needless to say the break up wrecked me, she was my motivation and the only person I was ever close to in life. I still miss that girl, she has a good soul and is damn cute in every way. But since we've been broken up I've really learned to love my self more.
My mistake was not wanting to let go, still hitting her up every once in a while. Or she would periodically show up at my place to hang out, which at the time I thoroughly enjoyed every moment I could spend with her again...But man that fucked with my head and heart, made the whole situation that much more difficult.
Finally I got to the point where I told my self I had to stop, avoid all contact, it was hard but really helped. It probably took me a full year to honestly say I was over her. Though she still has a chunk of my heart
Takes time my friend, for some a lot of it, that's about it....
my .02 cents 
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flugelizor
Furious ball of nothing


Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,145
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: skatealex2]
#14255334 - 04/07/11 08:11 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Tell her how you feel. She's probably really pissed. But she might come back
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!


Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: oxalic32]
#14255336 - 04/07/11 08:11 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
oxalic32 said: Shit takes time.
Do everything you didnt do when you were with her. See old friends.
Stop fucking random people thinking that will replace her. That can just make things more depressing.
When enough time has passed you can find a girl who will fill that void. Just remember what this relationship taught you. If you forget what it taught you then the whole damn thing is in vain. But if you remember the lesson next time things will be different. The fact is we are compatible with many people. There wasn't 1 girl crafted for you. If you guys were drifting apart there was a reason. Things happen for a reason.
Remember what you learned, burn one with your friends, let time pass & get on with life.
I have a crazy-ass unstoppable libido but I think you're right that I should try to keep the dipstick dry for a while and instead just focus on being with my friends.
I used to go out and party with some friends on a weekly basis before I started spending more time with the GF, maybe I should get back into that routine. It can't be worse than allowing girls to use me as an inflatable dildo.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Synesthetic
Ratings go in journal.



Registered: 12/11/08
Posts: 2,715
Loc: Tooele, UT
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: skatealex2]
#14255344 - 04/07/11 08:12 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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You guys trying the tough-love approach to the OP's situation are just making him feel worse.
Dude, that's (almost) exactly how my last relationship ended, and it's taken me years to even get close to being healed from it. I know your pain.
Try to keep yourself from poking your nose in her life because it'll just make things worse, and lots of drugs certainly helped me heal a little bit. A little escape from reality to give myself a break and collect myself before ramming my shoulder against the wall again.
There's someone better out there for you, and I bet you've known them for a long time.
I just hope you wait until you're as healed as you can possibly be before entering another relationship. Carrying all that baggage in to something that's supposed to be beautiful and peaceful is a sure way to fuck it all up.
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oxalic32


Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 3,615
Loc: .
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: shroomgatherer]
#14255346 - 04/07/11 08:12 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
shroomgatherer said: it's worse than withdrawls from dope..it sucks...I feel your pain...sleep a couple hours wake up and feel the hurt..bro been there just recently..time helps the most..ive been getting so fucked up b/c it adds time to the pain..prolly not a good idea...i prolly said too much
but do something for yourself and don't let the pain get to you. you were doing okay before you met her right?
peace be good
If you get fucked up to deal with the pain you already know it just grows.
My friend has been getting fucked up for years now because he can't believe what his ex did to him. He never really dealt with it and he needs to.
Its a vicious fucking cycle dude.
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!


Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: flugelizor]
#14255347 - 04/07/11 08:12 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
flugelizor said: Tell her how you feel. She's probably really possed. But she might come back
I tried and it made her angry. Today was my first attempt to contact her in about two months and the exchange in the OP was what I got. I don't think she could be more over me.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Caine
lab rat



Registered: 01/25/10
Posts: 3,920
Loc: NE
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: Synesthetic]
#14255353 - 04/07/11 08:14 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Word, tough love only works when you actually respect the person, it doesn't exactly work over the internet, you just come off as an asshole
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: propensity]
#14255354 - 04/07/11 08:14 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
propensity said:
Quote:
Funguspants said: Sorry if this sounds harsh, I don't really care if it does because this is my opinion but on these sorts of topics I'm told I come of harsh.
People need to man the FUCK up. You have to understand that you do not control her. A relationship is between two people, if it doesn't work out you have to respect that. You can't change her feelings and emotions, you have to let her be her and you be you. I never got upset over a breakup like this.
I mean yeah, it fucking sucks but only for like a day. Falling is a part of life, get the fuck back up. People need to understand that you don't get it your way all the time in life and shit changes at a rapid pace. You have to keep up with it and prepare to deal with the change.

Yeah you're fit to comment on this for sure. You obviously know a whole lot about life and relationships
Sound like Jr's never been in love or in a serious long-lasting relationship. When you get older and wiser, you'll have some sympathy for people who are going through tough times, perhaps even some empathy.
I do agree with some of what you said, you do have to get back up, but getting back up doesn't necessarily mean you wont still be undergoing recovery of your wounds.
Good luck OP. Hang in there.
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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Connor4050
Mmm Tacos.



Registered: 08/12/09
Posts: 1,540
Loc: Cincinnati, OH
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
#14255355 - 04/07/11 08:14 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Dedicate this song to her. She'll flip.
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"The moment we recognize that we can imagine, we cannot. Conversely, if we try to forget that we've recognized it, we've given up the beauty of having an imagination in the first place, and all of our past experiences mean nothing."
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oxalic32


Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 3,615
Loc: .
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
#14255362 - 04/07/11 08:15 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tchan909 said:
Quote:
flugelizor said: Tell her how you feel. She's probably really possed. But she might come back
I tried and it made her angry. Today was my first attempt to contact her in about two months and the exchange in the OP was what I got. I don't think she could be more over me.
Don't contact her. Don't talk to her. If she wants you back she'll say it.
The more you think you could be with her the more you're in the past. Your relationship is in the past. It sucks, you're trying to cling to the past. But the past already happened all you have is now.
Trying to get back with her or even thinking about it just makes the wound so much more fresh. You need to let go. The best way is time. Start thinking about yourself. Think about what you want to do. Think about what you are looking for exactly.
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withoutawire
hi


Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 11,384
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
#14255364 - 04/07/11 08:15 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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There is a good chance you might never get over it, but just learn to be okay with it.
Falling in love with someone else puts things in perspective.
I am back with my Ex-GF but it's complicated since we live 75 minutes apart and are both in school we are kinda open relationship, kind of not.
We were together for 5 years before breaking up and now getting back. That shit was so hard. I feel your pain bud.
Also the ONLY way to have someone really take interest in you again is show that you are 100% okay without them. Work out. Get sexy, get new clothes etc.
begging, looking like you miss them, etc. NEVER works EVER
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PreparationH
apply daily


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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
#14255369 - 04/07/11 08:16 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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7 months since my gf of 3 years broke up with me because she said "she doesn't want to be with someone who won't be home for months at a time and is looking for something permanent" then she said some bs about when I joked with her it hurt her which hurt because I wasn't trying to upset her but that's how I know it wasn't meant to be, she needed a better sense of humor. The types of things I'd joke about is like if she farted act like I was dying and etc. dumb shit lol
Anyway, 4 months of that time I felt sick to my stomach then I just decided that I'm not gonna mope around forever and I might as well just move on. Stopped givin a fuck, started looking at other women, met some cool chicks and it made me realize, my ex was cool and all but she wasn't "the one" and that moment I really haven't hurt at all.
Some last advice I guess I can give you is start running or exercising worked for me, put your hurt into something that will make you look better thus feeling more confident and etc.
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shroomgatherer
Connoisseur of the finer things



Registered: 11/08/07
Posts: 1,731
Loc: Florida
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: oxalic32]
#14255382 - 04/07/11 08:18 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
oxalic32 said:
Quote:
shroomgatherer said: it's worse than withdrawls from dope..it sucks...I feel your pain...sleep a couple hours wake up and feel the hurt..bro been there just recently..time helps the most..ive been getting so fucked up b/c it adds time to the pain..prolly not a good idea...i prolly said too much
but do something for yourself and don't let the pain get to you. you were doing okay before you met her right?
peace be good
If you get fucked up to deal with the pain you already know it just grows.
My friend has been getting fucked up for years now because he can't believe what his ex did to him. He never really dealt with it and he needs to.
Its a vicious fucking cycle dude.
it didn't grow. it eased the pain for me a lil..numbness..time heals all wounds
eventually
drop the pain and move on...dont carry the pain...dont carry anything and be free
.
-------------------- "Let us declare nature to be legitimate. All plants should be declared legal, and all animals for that matter. The notion of illegal plants and animals is obnoxious and ridiculous."
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oxalic32


Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 3,615
Loc: .
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: shroomgatherer]
#14255400 - 04/07/11 08:22 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
it didn't grow. it eased the pain for me a lil..numbness..time heals all wounds
eventually
drop the pain and move on...dont carry the pain...dont carry anything and be free
Thats good. I've seen friends really spiral. A kid i knew started doing OCs when his g/f broke up with him. Then that developed into dope. Then that developed into a real addiction. He was fucking his life up hard.
It always start out as a little thing you like to do, but it can completely consume you. Not saying it will be you, just saying i've seen it happen. Its always the same story of "i dont do it too much" and stuff like that. Any addict will tell you thats how they started, not that im saying you're an addict.
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Sophistic Radiance
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Registered: 07/11/06
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: oxalic32]
#14255467 - 04/07/11 08:33 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I'm actually doing really well for myself these days. I still drink more than I should, but it's maybe 2/3 nights of the week? Compare that to 2009 when I was pretty much drunk 24/7, for no particular reason other than boredom.
My ex inspired me to go back to school. When we were still together we had a conversation about intelligence. I was talking about my struggles with school, and she told me that you can't consider yourself intelligent if you're not willing to work, even when it's unsatisfying. And I realized she was right, and I went back to school last summer.
I was so inspired by her own example. She's had poetry published, and shortly before we broke up she got a scholarship to Mills College. I'm so proud of her for her success.
The pain is not as bad now as it was when the breakup first happened. It is noticeably getting better. Just... very, very slowly. 
By the way, I just want to say thanks, guys. I never thought I would get such a huge number of supportive, empathetic responses. You have no idea how much this is helping me. The Shroomery is amazing.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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withoutawire
hi


Registered: 08/16/09
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
#14255478 - 04/07/11 08:35 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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You'll make it through it man.
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eeso
Str@nger

Registered: 03/25/07
Posts: 554
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
#14255622 - 04/07/11 08:59 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I feel for ya. Working though a similar story myself.
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oxalic32


Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 3,615
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Re: breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me [Re: eeso]
#14255725 - 04/07/11 09:17 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Govt mule by a thread is a sick album to listen to. Listened to it when shit went south in my last relationship.
Edited by oxalic32 (04/07/11 09:38 PM)
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