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Offlinedoctordarkmatter
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Being nervous all the fucking time!
    #14255311 - 04/07/11 08:07 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I'm tired of it! I get massively nervous all the time, no matter what. And the bad thing is I look suspicious or like a nut. I cant be convincing in job interviews, talking to people is hard especially on the phone. An example would be, the cops where just at my door they where looking for a guy in the nabhour hood. I was nervous as fuck, and half way through the convo I choked up, and couldn't think of anything to say. So they started looking at me strange. I have had this since I was 14 or 15. My heart starts pounding, my head gets all warm and hot and sometimes its almost like peoples words are just passing by, and I cannot grasp them because I am so fucking nervous. And Afterwards I asses the situation and feel like shit days after because of it. What can I do!! I cannot talk to women, look for a job, even bullshitting with someone I get nervous. The only time I am not nervous is when I am on my own, away from people. Is there any solution to this? Does anybody else get overly nervous for no reason at all? I'm going to have a heart attack one of these days I get so nervous, and I'm only 23!
I cant tell if it is anxiety leading to nervousness, or nervousness leading to anxiety. Someone has to have experience in this type of thing.


Edited by doctordarkmatter (04/07/11 08:16 PM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: doctordarkmatter]
    #14255372 - 04/07/11 08:16 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I feel you on that man. I've this shit since the beginning of high school. It's severely debilitating. I don't enjoy school, going out to places (stores, movies, etc), life in general because of it. There are anti-anxiety meds but I would rather not need to take a pill to feel relaxed or so to say 'normal'.


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Offlinedoctordarkmatter
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14255404 - 04/07/11 08:22 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I feel you on that man. I've this shit since the beginning of high school. It's severely debilitating. I don't enjoy school, going out to places (stores, movies, etc), life in general because of it. There are anti-anxiety meds but I would rather not need to take a pill to feel relaxed or so to say 'normal'.




Exactly. I've resorted to not going out as well. I have Ben like this for years. I can't even bare making friends because I gets so much anxiety and so nervous I cant even pick up a phone to talk to them. I do not know what to do, some day I would like to get a nice job and make a name for myself but I cant even get past talking to people. The strange thing is everyone of my family members are good talkers,  they can hold a convo like no other. And are just all out natural good people. Relaxed in situations. And then theres me. Its almost like a natural high when I get as nervous as I do. Sometimes I sit back and have to let it pass.


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InvisibleSporesAndSpores
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: doctordarkmatter]
    #14255408 - 04/07/11 08:23 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Medication is never the right thing for nervousness in social situations.  Just try relaxing and exposing yourself to more social situations.  Ive had the same problem but hell im only 16 and I guess i'm growing out of it. I'm not a therapist, but confidence is key! Now go out there and experience the world with a whole new perspective, get some self confidence going.  As far as actual conversations, try to focus and don't worry if your awkward.  Be yourself and feel good about it! :grin:


Edited by SporesAndSpores (04/07/11 08:25 PM)


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OfflineRonaldFuckingPaul
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: SporesAndSpores] * 1
    #14255524 - 04/07/11 08:42 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

SporesAndSpores said:
Medication is never the right thing for nervousness in social situations.  Just try relaxing and exposing yourself to more social situations.  Ive had the same problem but hell im only 16 and I guess i'm growing out of it. I'm not a therapist, but confidence is key! Now go out there and experience the world with a whole new perspective, get some self confidence going.  As far as actual conversations, try to focus and don't worry if your awkward.  Be yourself and feel good about it! :grin:



How old are you?


--------------------


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Anonymous #1

Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: SporesAndSpores]
    #14255541 - 04/07/11 08:46 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

SporesAndSpores said:
Medication is never the right thing for nervousness in social situations.  Just try relaxing and exposing yourself to more social situations.  Ive had the same problem but hell im only 16 and I guess i'm growing out of it. I'm not a therapist, but confidence is key! Now go out there and experience the world with a whole new perspective, get some self confidence going.  As far as actual conversations, try to focus and don't worry if your awkward.  Be yourself and feel good about it! :grin:




Exposure doesn't help when the anxiety is severe. It's especially hard when you start sweating and slurring your words and getting red in the face. It's not as easy as "not worrying if we're awkward". It's beyond that. Not to seem like a dick, it's just not that easy.


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InvisibleSporesAndSpores
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: RonaldFuckingPaul]
    #14255575 - 04/07/11 08:51 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Perhaps i was a little hasty to judge the severity of the problem.  But i still don't believe in depressants being used to treat anxiety as it can make it even worse if used for long periods of time.  Perhaps help from a proffesional would be the best course of action.


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OfflineXUL
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: SporesAndSpores]
    #14255594 - 04/07/11 08:54 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

SporesAndSpores said:
  Ive had the same problem but hell im only 16 :grin:




:oldman:



doctordarkmatter,

It sounds like you are pretty uncomfortable. I too have issues like yours. My job interviews usually consist of me being nervous and sketchy. Its hard for me to look the interviewer in the eye without feeling like im going to have a seizure. lol... The training day was THE WORST. 3 days of 5-6 hours in a SMALL room with 6 different people huddled around the table. I dont know how I got through it... I really dont. I thought I was going to pass out and die. At the end of the training I was ready to put my head between my legs and tell them to leave me alone. The strange this is... I got a 92 on my entrance test for passing out meds. Even though I was nervous I still somehow retain information.

Its girls with me too. Asking them out is not typically my problem. Its when I start to see them frequently and we get to the point where we make lots of eye contact. I have trouble with that. Alot of trouble.

Your not alone!!:cool:

I dont think inserting yourself directly into very uncomfortable situations is a good way to start a change. You need to start small. For me... I am trying to learn how to beat my lack of comfort. I practice looking my relatives in the eyes before I try it on other people. I also try to avoid saying "I have anxiety". I try to say "I have a lack of comfort". I learned this from a self hypnosis lesson online lol! I thought I would try anything and so I am.

Honestly I have had it for many years and I dont see the storm breaking now. I tried to beat it so many times. I tried so so so many times and always failed. Its sad really. The only thing that keeps me going is hearing about people who have beat it.

There was a point in my life where my anxiety was not gone, but far less. It was when I was in love with a girl. Lately I have been exploring the roots of that fact.

Medication is truly a shitty route I know. But I came to a point where I said... I am losing my battle against discomfort and who knows ...I may never beat it until im 52 years old. I couldn't accept that and so I take Klonopin as needed. It helps me and I am not ashamed. If I have to take some meds as needed to live a fulfilling life than I will because life is to short to avoid interviews, women, people, and all the fun experiences I can have in life.

You gotta do something man. You have to seek a therapist or get meds. Get out there and enjoy life!:cheers:


--------------------
TRUMP 2020


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Invisiblebigmike7104
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14256155 - 04/07/11 10:35 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

SporesAndSpores said:
Medication is never the right thing for nervousness in social situations.  Just try relaxing and exposing yourself to more social situations.  Ive had the same problem but hell im only 16 and I guess i'm growing out of it. I'm not a therapist, but confidence is key! Now go out there and experience the world with a whole new perspective, get some self confidence going.  As far as actual conversations, try to focus and don't worry if your awkward.  Be yourself and feel good about it! :grin:




Exposure doesn't help when the anxiety is severe.




based on studies that's not true, if it's severe it just means it might take longer than anxiety of less severity.


--------------------
Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines


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Offlinenumonkei
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: SporesAndSpores]
    #14259301 - 04/08/11 03:46 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

SporesAndSpores said:
Medication is never the right thing for nervousness in social situations.  Just try relaxing and exposing yourself to more social situations.  Ive had the same problem but hell im only 16 and I guess i'm growing out of it. I'm not a therapist, but confidence is key! Now go out there and experience the world with a whole new perspective, get some self confidence going.  As far as actual conversations, try to focus and don't worry if your awkward.  Be yourself and feel good about it! :grin:




You are also in violation of rules and regs.



~Monk


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Offlinedoctordarkmatter
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: numonkei]
    #14260576 - 04/08/11 08:32 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Thanks for the replys and advice. I don't want to get nervous, its like it is instant. I can talk to my family fine and chat with people on the net just fine. But when it comes to talking on the phone, talking with people face to face going places ive never been etc. I get to damn nervous. I've always been against medication but maybe it is the only way I can get some relief, and like XUL stated, to start living my life. I don't know..


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Invisiblebigmike7104
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: doctordarkmatter]
    #14260626 - 04/08/11 08:46 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

I don't want to get nervous, its like it is instant.




maybe part of the problem is your getting nervous about getting nervous. try to go in a situation accepting that it's okay to be nervous and it will probably be a lot easier.


--------------------
Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines


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OfflineMycomush
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: bigmike7104]
    #14269673 - 04/10/11 10:11 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Pay attention to your breathing during or better yet before entering situations where you commonly experience anxiety. Learn to breath through your nose deep into your stomach the whole time. Simple yet very effective.

They teach soldiers a simple breathing technique so that they can focus and do their job in high stress situations. All it is is breath in your nose for a slow count of 4, hold for a count of 4, breath out your mouth for a slow count of 4, hold for a count of 4. Repeat.


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InvisibleCognitive_Shift
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: doctordarkmatter]
    #14270786 - 04/11/11 06:11 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Do you take any drugs?  If so stop taking them.

If you aren't taking drugs then it sounds like you have some sort of social anxiety disorder... this is not normal man.

Some advice is to just relax and be yourself, everything you say doesn't have to be planned out and trust yourself.

Honestly people are a lot more worried about what their doing and thinking then what you look like or say too:shrug:


--------------------
L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs


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Invisiblebigmike7104
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #14271766 - 04/11/11 11:27 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

don't feel about having it though, it has been found to be the third largest mental health problem in the world so your not alone.

it can be tough, but with enough effort you can get over it over time.


--------------------
Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines


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OfflineKamoopstinoops
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #14283313 - 04/13/11 11:15 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Cognitive_Shift said:
Do you take any drugs?  If so stop taking them.

If you aren't taking drugs then it sounds like you have some sort of social anxiety disorder... this is not normal man.




x2. Not trying to make a generalized comment, but prolonged weed usage can cause this problem in many people, particularly the analytical types. Of course this extends to other drugs which (over)stimulate our minds , but I just mentioned weed because its the most common.

So, to the OP:
a. Give ALL drugs a break until you at least sort your problem out. Drugs have a nasty way of exacerbating problems as they can prevent you from sorting these issues out, paradoxically by providing a means of escape but also by intensifying the problem to the point of paralysis.

b. Try adjusting your attitude. It seems to me that you just think too much about everything. You think too much about how others see you and their opinion of you. My advice - blank your mind of all that shit. SET GOALS and do what it takes to achieve them no matter what people think of you. Let me ask you this - Do you always find yourself trying to do whats right by other people (or appear to) even at your own expense? Its time to stop trying to project this persona (desired image of yourself) and JUST BE! Be yourself and act according to your goals. Even if you gotta be a bit of an asshole, you just gotta not give a fuck what people think if it gets in the way of your goals, then you won't have to hide from people so much. Its much easier to talk to girls when you're not trying to always trying to appear to be a "good man". Don't be afraid to make jokes about them (without being rude) and if you feel like you gotta fart, then fart lol.

So less analyzing, more BEING! You're a man (at least thats what I gather) so harness that testosterone and kick things up a gear.

Okay, now I know what I talked about is easier said than done. I also know that I took a stab in the dark and made assumptions about you. BUT, I'm posting here because many years ago, I USED to be in the same boat as you. So here's a strategy....

Since I believe you have spent too much time away from society's norms and expectations as a result of your nerve-wrecked over analytical lifestyle, I suggest you find a hobby or activity that will give you solid grounding in the realm of social normality. This can be in the form of sports, cars or whatevers "normal". Not only will this keep your mind busy, it will give you common ground with many people thus giving you something to talk about with people. Will give you a stronger sense of identity so you don't always have to scramble to make up your own - something that gets hard and WILL cause anxiety! For me, I joined a gym, got hooked and been doing it for years ever since and am looking to compete in powerlifting in the near future. Exercise is the BEST anti depressant and provides a feeling of well being which leads to confidence. Weight lifting has been shown to increase testosterone levels in men, something that is often diminished by many "recreational" drugs.

Anyways best of luck, STOP all drugs until you get this sorted out. When things are in a muddled up mess, you are in no position to be altering your brain chemistry when you can't even get into a stable state of mind. Don't resort to anti anxiety meds it will only mask the problem.

Another thing I forgot to mention, if you have friends that are going downhill and are holding you back or are dragging you down with them - FUCK THEM OFF! I don't care how long you've known them or how how good a friend yous are. Its you or them. Not saying you cant try to help them but you cant help people who wont help themselves. Don't waste too much energy on that shit, you're an adult now and have to sort shit out, time aint gettin any younger.

You're 23 man, time to MAN UP and face this big bad world. All the best mate, game face on, the whole world world is a goddamn oyster in the palm of your hand! Aarrrrgghhhh!!! Manipulate it! Remember.... Life is what you make it.


--------------------
Through the Spintrinfinty of the all Tremongstanooloop, we realise that infinity may after all amount to nothing... space merely being an illusion.


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Invisibleelliev
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: Kamoopstinoops]
    #14283571 - 04/13/11 12:10 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Kamoopstinoops said:
Quote:

Cognitive_Shift said:
Do you take any drugs?  If so stop taking them.

If you aren't taking drugs then it sounds like you have some sort of social anxiety disorder... this is not normal man.




x2. Not trying to make a generalized comment, but prolonged weed usage can cause this problem in many people, particularly the analytical types. Of course this extends to other drugs which (over)stimulate our minds , but I just mentioned weed because its the most common.

So, to the OP:
a. Give ALL drugs a break until you at least sort your problem out. Drugs have a nasty way of exacerbating problems as they can prevent you from sorting these issues out, paradoxically by providing a means of escape but also by intensifying the problem to the point of paralysis.

b. Try adjusting your attitude. It seems to me that you just think too much about everything. You think too much about how others see you and their opinion of you. My advice - blank your mind of all that shit. SET GOALS and do what it takes to achieve them no matter what people think of you. Let me ask you this - Do you always find yourself trying to do whats right by other people (or appear to) even at your own expense? Its time to stop trying to project this persona (desired image of yourself) and JUST BE! Be yourself and act according to your goals. Even if you gotta be a bit of an asshole, you just gotta not give a fuck what people think if it gets in the way of your goals, then you won't have to hide from people so much. Its much easier to talk to girls when you're not trying to always trying to appear to be a "good man". Don't be afraid to make jokes about them (without being rude) and if you feel like you gotta fart, then fart lol.

So less analyzing, more BEING! You're a man (at least thats what I gather) so harness that testosterone and kick things up a gear.

Okay, now I know what I talked about is easier said than done. I also know that I took a stab in the dark and made assumptions about you. BUT, I'm posting here because many years ago, I USED to be in the same boat as you. So here's a strategy....

Since I believe you have spent too much time away from society's norms and expectations as a result of your nerve-wrecked over analytical lifestyle, I suggest you find a hobby or activity that will give you solid grounding in the realm of social normality. This can be in the form of sports, cars or whatevers "normal". Not only will this keep your mind busy, it will give you common ground with many people thus giving you something to talk about with people. Will give you a stronger sense of identity so you don't always have to scramble to make up your own - something that gets hard and WILL cause anxiety! For me, I joined a gym, got hooked and been doing it for years ever since and am looking to compete in powerlifting in the near future. Exercise is the BEST anti depressant and provides a feeling of well being which leads to confidence. Weight lifting has been shown to increase testosterone levels in men, something that is often diminished by many "recreational" drugs.

Anyways best of luck, STOP all drugs until you get this sorted out. When things are in a muddled up mess, you are in no position to be altering your brain chemistry when you can't even get into a stable state of mind. Don't resort to anti anxiety meds it will only mask the problem.

Another thing I forgot to mention, if you have friends that are going downhill and are holding you back or are dragging you down with them - FUCK THEM OFF! I don't care how long you've known them or how how good a friend yous are. Its you or them. Not saying you cant try to help them but you cant help people who wont help themselves. Don't waste too much energy on that shit, you're an adult now and have to sort shit out, time aint gettin any younger.

You're 23 man, time to MAN UP and face this big bad world. All the best mate, game face on, the whole world world is a goddamn oyster in the palm of your hand! Aarrrrgghhhh!!! Manipulate it! Remember.... Life is what you make it.




:thumbup:

OP, are you more scared about what people think of you? or you don't know how to act around others?


--------------------


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InvisibleDelicious Apes
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: doctordarkmatter]
    #14287278 - 04/13/11 10:44 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

If you can't relate to having debilitating anxiety problems on a frequent basis you won't get much from the this. Maybe if you have the same pathology as my anxious disorder you'll identify with what I'm trying to say.

In short I'm aware nobody cares. Opinion LOL. That being established maybe you're just like me.

I've existed in a relationship with the outside world with more or less the same type of nervous anxiety for about 5 years, and have it partially masked. Some of my conclusions and how I fight the irrational autonomic response to feel negative or afraid with an instant counter attack of common sense and rational perspective. It may not stick, but actively deconstructing and learning how to seperate mental garbage like anxiety and stress from reality is essential.

The meat, the substance, the potency of what breeds the negative thought MAY have some relevance, but they are unbelievably amplified in their importance to your fucked up brain. One way of reducing the control of nervous excitement and anxiety is by analyzing each negative emotion and why it's not only pointless, but a complete fallacy almost all of the time.

I "Know" before every baseless negative thought I experience that it has a warped meaning or signifigance only to ME, but they'll still carry out their business of inducting fear of uncertainty, releasing adrenalin and instant mind fog, and causing problems with basic human interaction. The thing I'm seeing, is your attachment to those memories, fears and the value you give them by rehashing the memory days after with the same downcast perspective is the most accessible ground to stand on if you want to improve.

It doesn't matter man. If you happen to be in the minority of people who are prone to constant self analysis or social anxiety of this severity and permanance, It's an animal that needs to be controlled and put in it's place. Socially inefficient folks have to devote a larger amount of their available intelligence/presence of mind not going into a panic, concentrating on appearing normal when out of their small comfort zone. Often as a result of being hurried or uncomfortable, stupid things will be said or stupid mistakes made. You might be seen as slow or a little dumb even if your overall intelligence is quite high. This is for all basic purposes known as social retardation.

Cultivate a more positive image of what other people have to offer. About half of all individuals are at their foundation a mirror of you're basic makeup, the same interests and rarely unreceptive of genuine conversation. The people you want to be spending your time with are by nature fair and love to co-operate and live and share with each other. Be the initiator more, don't shy from eye contact and talk to people. Showing natural enthusiasm, your defenses being lowered will disarm that construct in other people, you'll both become more at ease. Expand from there.

To balance out that idealism, there's a lot of absolute losers, reactionary, shallow, manipulative, arrogant, inconsiderate people. Loners and the socially inept tend to be a pretty good judge of character. Dickheads aren't to be validated. Doesn't matter. There isn't anything wrong about wanting to being alone either. It's not always a symptom for some disorder if you happen to be a self contained person.


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OfflineEnvix
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: Delicious Apes]
    #14291768 - 04/14/11 06:15 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

i used to have this problem too . damn catholic school fucking my brains up  :shakefist:

then i started taking a whole bunch of dmt. now it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. i have no problems carrying on a conversation anymore but still have problems tho coming up w/ conversation topics and striking'em up with strangers. and some lingering confidence issues with my speech and behavior

i still refrain from saying thangs alot of the time cuz i'm just not used to doin' it

im gettin a lot better at it tho w/ practice

meditation has helped. and stretching. i'm thinking of trying aniracetam too i heard thats good stuff


Edited by Envix (04/14/11 06:23 PM)


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OfflineSterile
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: doctordarkmatter] * 1
    #14295394 - 04/15/11 12:26 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

With a small dose of Amanita muscaria you can kiss your anxiety goodbye. If you dose a few times and focus on social relationships, you will kill the root of your anxiety: Shame that turns into fear.

Amanitas give you the power to learn how to live without fear and shame by breaking the ego and stopping your internal dialogue.

You seem to need a physical therapeutic dose, not to actually  feel like :trippnballs: .

Like McKenna said: "If the truth can be told, so as to be understood, it will be believed."

So just submerge yourself in truth.

You just need to be placed in the healing position of releasing yourself from the problem and discover the root. Then while penetrating the sober world, just carry with you the logical solution to your illness...the truth...
        the truth is you experience the illusion of importance, in a meaningless world. Use your logic to hunt down the demented idea of importance. Freedom is to live by expressing yourself without thinking if it's correct to do so.

You must try to feel humiliated every now and then. It helps you remember that we are nothing.

Express fully shameful thoughts to close friends, speak about your fantasies... Make yourself look like a fool for fun, feel the tragedy of the moment, we are dying and being born every god damn second.


--------------------
The Source Of The Force
Is The Power Of The Mind


"if you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove." - timothy leary"
Anno: "-I can do anything with those clouds!"
Annos Tek




Edited by Sterile (04/15/11 12:28 PM)


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Offlinedoctordarkmatter
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: Sterile]
    #14307494 - 04/17/11 04:38 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Sorry I have not been on here lately I have had allot of stuff going on.
Well, Thanks for the responses! As for taking drugs I have not for close to  a year now. I smoked MJ for about six years and one day I just felt something inside me say give it up. And I did, I have tried to get back on it but I cannot stand it. It actually makes me sick now.  So I am drug free.  And all of you are spot on, I will print this stuff out so When ever I get nervous I can look back and reasure myself on what the fuck to do.  And another thing is I have had chronic eczema for most of my life, so I am sure that has had somethings to do with it also.

Sterile: I have thought about this, would small doses of cubes be affective with social or anxiety disorders? I have read a few posts on here about it helping people with these problems so I am curious as to how it would help.

But I am, I have some issues. Lack of confidence, major sense of not being sure of myself, anxiety, social distance from others, constantly thinking in the back of my head how im acting, how others see me, how they expect me to act, what they might be thinking about me. The other day I had a job interview, and I had to fill out an application. I was shaking so fucking bad I could barley fill out the app. It was horrible. But I will take your advice to heart, all of yours. I need to break this shit and beat it!


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OfflineSterile
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Re: Being nervous all the fucking time! [Re: doctordarkmatter]
    #14310120 - 04/18/11 01:33 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Have you tried Evening Primrose oil for the eczema? You can find it in oil or capsule form. I met a guy the other day that told me he had 30 years eczema and cured it com pletely in just a week after he started eating the capsules.


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