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Tritium



Registered: 03/22/11
Posts: 152
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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girlfriend talking to ex
#14241873 - 04/05/11 01:17 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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does it bother anyone else when your girlfriend talks to her ex? im not controlling or anything, and would never say anything to her but it just annoys and kind of bums me out. its mainly because they broke up recently and although she's pretty much done with him cause he's a total dick, he's still trying to get back together with her. obviously that isnt in my interests. any advice or similar scenarios?
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XUL
OTD Janitor



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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: Tritium] 1
#14241906 - 04/05/11 01:26 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I would just tell her. Fuck that. That would make me uncomfortable too. Who wants to know their love is talking to the man she used to fuck for an extended period of time. Blah. I wouldnt have it if I was you.
Maybe im controling. I dont think I am. but that shit just wouldnt fly with me.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: XUL]
#14241999 - 04/05/11 01:45 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I think you're insecure and should seek therapy. Or find a girl not to be insecure about.
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: Tritium] 2
#14242031 - 04/05/11 01:50 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Nope. My girlfriend can talk to whoever she wants. Its her life. Why should I be able to control it? A relationship is about wanting the best for each other, not seeking to control each other.
If they do get back together, it wasn't meant to be for you guys. In the end its her decision.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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XUL
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I think you're insecure and should seek therapy. Or find a girl not to be insecure about.
Not really. I am fine girflriends talking to anybody. But some shit kills me. When I was with my ex her boy called her and asked if she wanted to fuck. Thats about the time I stood up, took the phone, and said you fuck you prick.
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WScott
´ ɑ `▽ ᑲᓇᑕ


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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: XUL] 1
#14242143 - 04/05/11 02:10 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: WScott]
#14242319 - 04/05/11 02:51 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
WScott said:

DSHSB
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
Edited by Cyclohexylamine (04/05/11 02:52 PM)
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Tritium



Registered: 03/22/11
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Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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ya I'm not really insecure, she hates his guts. Its just like xul said; she was fucking him for a while and it just makes me jealous I guess. but she's fucking me now so I guess that's the bottom line :p
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Humility
Working on it



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Quote:
tymoteusz3 said: Nope. My girlfriend can talk to whoever she wants. Its her life. Why should I be able to control it? A relationship is about wanting the best for each other, not seeking to control each other.
If they do get back together, it wasn't meant to be for you guys. In the end its her decision.
I kinda agree with that but fuck the way its written.
Girlfriend talking with ex needs to have an eye kept on it. If things start looking off I'd call that situation and if it turned out to be rotten I'd be gone.
Don't be controlling, but don't be a naive bitch that's gonna get caught up with someone else's herpes, or worse, child.
Most importantly, I don't like being involved with girls that have just broken up. I am not in a position to get with someone immediately after I break up and I can't help but think that the stability of a relationship that starts immediately after another one finishes is questionable.
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Cursive
I AM



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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: Tritium]
#14244407 - 04/05/11 08:55 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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My girl was raped by some dude that's a year older than me. Yeah it's a totally different situation, but I feel your pain.
Realistically, aside from me being everybody's bitch, I feel like if I ever come in visible sight of the guy, I'd have to kill him, and I'm being pretty damn honest.
I'm not gonna go out and look for him, that'd just be too into the anger IMO. But if I ever saw him, I really doubt if I could control myself.
Just wanted to get that off my chest, but seriously, you need to communicate with your girl and dig out her feelings and give her yours. If your uncomfortable about something that's never going to go away, it should at least be made known. Otherwise you dwell in self-consumption. And whether it changes or not, she at least needs to know that you're being hurt by her actions that she has the ability to change IMO.
If she doesn't change it, well then I guess it's on you really.
-------------------- I am up above all that I am down below..
  
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: Cursive]
#14244473 - 04/05/11 09:07 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Cursive said: My girl was raped by some dude that's a year older than me. Yeah it's a totally different situation, but I feel your pain.
Realistically, aside from me being everybody's bitch, I feel like if I ever come in visible sight of the guy, I'd have to kill him, and I'm being pretty damn honest.
I'm not gonna go out and look for him, that'd just be too into the anger IMO. But if I ever saw him, I really doubt if I could control myself.
Just wanted to get that off my chest, but seriously, you need to communicate with your girl and dig out her feelings and give her yours. If your uncomfortable about something that's never going to go away, it should at least be made known. Otherwise you dwell in self-consumption. And whether it changes or not, she at least needs to know that you're being hurt by her actions that she has the ability to change IMO.
If she doesn't change it, well then I guess it's on you really.
See thats a different situation. If my girl was raped I would hunt down that guy. But an ex is different.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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Cursive
I AM



Registered: 04/18/10
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I know who he is, I know where he lives, I got so pissed I basically researched the fella. I decided karma will resolve itself and bite him in the fuckin' ass, especially since he has 2 peoples' thought waves against his self. God, even talking about it now puts fire in my eyes. I seriously want the motherfucker to BURN baby!! I never had so much hate for a human EVER.
-------------------- I am up above all that I am down below..
  
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waixingren


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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: Tritium]
#14244560 - 04/05/11 09:20 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Humility said:
Most importantly, I don't like being involved with girls that have just broken up. I am not in a position to get with someone immediately after I break up and I can't help but think that the stability of a relationship that starts immediately after another one finishes is questionable.
I think Humility has that right. Clearly she still needs his attention to satisfy herself on some level. That should be expected with almost any recent break up.
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ZenXi6
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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: waixingren]
#14244638 - 04/05/11 09:32 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I am on the opposite end of that stick at the moment.
I sometimes chat with my ex, not so much anymore, and I certainly don't want to be with her (she's crazy.. like... sociopathic crazy), but fuck.. we became friends in the first place for a reason.. the dating was wrong, but doesn't mean the friendship has to be?! y'know?
Some people can be dicks, and sometimes, I realise that some of my friends are dicks... Seriously.. look around at your friends.. how many of them are kinda dicks, but you like them regardless?
Basically, it comes down to insecurity... do you trust your gal emotionally and physically and spiritually (if that's your cuppa tea)? I think it's pretty important to have trust and confidence in eachother's feelings... so that you don't constantly need re-assurance.. because when it heads down that line, you end up asking someone to compromise themselves for you.. and that never goes down well.
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We are the Divine Universe, Incarnate!
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Grok
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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: ZenXi6]
#14244770 - 04/05/11 09:52 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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My reaction to the situation would depend entirely on the people involved. I was really good friends with buddy who had dated one of my ex's before I even knew her. It didn't phase me in the slightest when they'd talk or hang out, because I knew they were both rock solid and no longer interested in each other that way. I think it's different for OP's situation though. It takes awhile for the feelings to clear after a breakup and I wouldn't be all that easy with it. The only way to break up is no contact for a long ass time IMO/E. Otherwise feelings get stirred up and lord knows where that leads. There's a fine line between being controlling and standing up for yourself in this situation, but I would say if it makes you uncomfortable say something. You gotta have peace of mind. Personally I would totally respect a hypothetical girlfriend's desire that I didn't talk to my ex if I had recently broken up if that's what she wanted. But I think a little jealousy is endearing though (just as long as it isn't psychotic) so I reckon it's different for everyone.
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thelivingfreekshow
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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: Tritium]
#14244795 - 04/05/11 09:54 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tritium said: does it bother anyone else when your girlfriend talks to her ex? im not controlling or anything, and would never say anything to her but it just annoys and kind of bums me out. its mainly because they broke up recently and although she's pretty much done with him cause he's a total dick, he's still trying to get back together with her. obviously that isnt in my interests. any advice or similar scenarios?
why do you let her?
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Anonymous #2
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if kids are involved its all the more worse. I was in a similar situation where the girl had numerous kids, and still, the ex was in the picture, love and hate type of thing for her. She still was damaged goods, if thats actually the case, then live and let be.
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Weltall
lost in a strange world


Registered: 03/25/11
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Play your shit cool don't be over bearing dick bag, and she continues talk to the dude cordially remind her how much she dislikes him if she gives you any other response than "yeah he is a fuckin dick" then break it off and don't regret it.
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"STAND TALL AND SHAKE THE HEAVENS." SICUS PACUS PARABELLUM
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freespeech
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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: Weltall] 1
#14286174 - 04/13/11 07:45 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Weltall said: Play your shit cool don't be over bearing dick bag, and she continues talk to the dude cordially remind her how much she dislikes him if she gives you any other response than "yeah he is a fuckin dick" then break it off and don't regret it.
Something like this ^
If this isn't that important to you, then work on gently steering her away from him but don't stress over it. But I don't think you'd create a thread on this subject if it really wasn't important to you.
Remember: life is not "one size fits all." Other folks may not care if their woman talks to her ex. That's perfectly fine for them. If that doesn't work for you, then it's your responsibility to create a life where this does not happen.
Relationships are about finding balance that works for both of you. You are allowed to make certain things "off limits" in your relationship, including being friends with exes (she is of course also allowed to make things off limits too.) A big part of compatibility is seeing eye-to-eye on things like this. So if she isn't agreeable to something that is important to you, then dump her.
Bottom line - if your important needs aren't being satisfied in your relationship, then have a talk about it and see if you can patch things up. If your important needs still go unsatisfied, then it's time to get out.
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Raw
Muslim



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Re: girlfriend talking to ex [Re: Tritium]
#14286340 - 04/13/11 08:07 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Yeah, that shit should not fly.
Not cool for her to talk to her ex... Give her an ultimatum and tell her how you feel at the same time. And kick her out.
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