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OfflineJT
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Registered: 02/28/07
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jealousy with friends, how do you deal with it?
    #14241080 - 04/05/11 10:33 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

jealousy is not healthy. i'm extremely jealous of one of my friends, and it's making me very bitter towards her. i recognize what's happening, and i'm trying to be happy for her, but i can't help the resentment.

basically, we're both working in similar labs in the psych department. we're both doing very well there and are doing lots of extra work to try and get into grad school. however, i'm just your average white guy, and she's a hot little blonde with big tits and she is getting way more opportunities handed to her because of this (or so i feel). the grad student she is working with is in love with her and is bending all kinds of rules to help her get her name out there and to increase her chances of getting into grad school.

for instance, next week he is having her present his research at a meeting with some of the top people in the I/O field at Kenyon College. she did none of the work, but he is letting her give the talk by herself (he's helping her prepare). he also let her write the abstract on one of the papers he's publishing in the APA journal so that she can have her name on a serious piece of work. i just found out he plans to take her to the World I/O conference in DC this quarter to help him present his research too (research which she had NO part in, but will look amazing on her resume).

we both have nearly the same grades, do similar work in the labs, but here she is basically being handed grad school on a platter because this dude likes her. she's not even interested in I/O, I am, she wants to go into clinical. and the truth of it is, she's my competition. by playing favorites with her, he's essentially hurting my chances of getting accepted into the programs that I want.

i want to be happy for her but the resentment is almost overwhelming. advice?


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InvisibleStropharis
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Registered: 04/02/07
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Re: jealousy with friends, how do you deal with it? [Re: JT]
    #14241159 - 04/05/11 10:50 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Acceptance is a funny thing. Something that is so obviously unfair yet acceptable or unnoticed by others can be hard to deal with when we have no control. In this situation you have no control with in reason. I guess over the years I just accepted this fact..The same issue exist in my line of work, after all these years I just laugh about it now. I even make jokes to a few female coworkers saying all they have to do in order to progress is flash their smiles. You need to separate yourself from her and this concept and take your own path. No more her v.s. you, its two different worlds. Eventually the very thing that is helping her now will bite her in the ass later and statistics show that you being the white male will pull ahead in due time. As long as it isn't your girlfriend or wife pulling this shit, don't stress it.

Or you can break his knee caps and call her a whore, like I said, there is no control with in reason.


Edited by Stropharis (04/05/11 10:52 AM)


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Invisiblebigmike7104
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Registered: 07/12/10
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Re: jealousy with friends, how do you deal with it? [Re: Stropharis]
    #14248457 - 04/06/11 04:30 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

just realize that while it will help her to an extent(what she's doing is only part of an application) to get into graduate school, beyond that it probably won't help her or make it more likely she will have a successful career. i think employers would look at grad school related stuff, not all the way back to college.

is it possible you could find some other ways to get involved like she is, except maybe for with professors. good luck dude


--------------------
Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines


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