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michaelsartery
Artist

Registered: 03/25/11
Posts: 24
Loc: NJ
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
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Fathers spanking their daughters
#14222020 - 04/01/11 04:37 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I was speaking to a female friend recently, who strictly felt the role of fathering does not include disciplincing or spanking their daughters. She thinks it would pyschologically leave a negative impact on their daugthers. And I strongly disagree. I would like your thoughts on this matter... http://www.michaelsartery.com/ Check out my web site
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Ajaxx
Amateur Mycologist



Registered: 03/06/11
Posts: 1,303
Loc:
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
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thats an odd place to plug your website dude
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jacobensis
captain


Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 318
Loc: comunist/socialist/ usa
Last seen: 11 years, 9 days
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: Ajaxx]
#14222045 - 04/01/11 04:44 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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YEP! when she grows up she`ll be wanting her husband to spank her all the time!!!!---- sorry man, had to!
-------------------- There are 2 types of people, mycophobes and mycophiles R.Wasson
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michaelsartery
Artist

Registered: 03/25/11
Posts: 24
Loc: NJ
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: jacobensis]
#14222314 - 04/01/11 05:39 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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LMAO, I thinkyou might have something...but Many women feels its there responsibility to take care of that department with their daughters....
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Joolz


Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 3,614
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Spanking is a last resort imo, but I like to think that I will have intelligent conversations with my kid. To the point that I can go "should you cry on the floor and throw a tantrum, or accept that you don't always get your way and move on?" and they would choose the better of the two. Could all just be madeup in my head though.
-------------------- Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.
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Diploid
Cuban



Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
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Teaching children to behave by inflicting pain on them is a manifest demonstration of your lack of love for the child. It's also psychologically predisposing to a number of lifelong problems. It increases their risk factors to drug abuse, alcoholism, depression suicide, and spousal abuse, among others.
Pediatricians are pretty well aligned on this and the available evidence backs it up.
Better to teach your kids by giving them 100% unconditional love, and expressing disappointment when they do something wrong. The idea that they've disappointed the most important person in their life who they love with all their being is far more effective "discipline" than the threat of physical pain.
-------------------- Republican Values: 1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you. 2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child. 3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer. 4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.
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Cups
technically "here"


Registered: 12/24/09
Posts: 1,925
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: Diploid]
#14223648 - 04/01/11 10:11 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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After we got bigger than her my mom fined us. To this day more effective IMO than anything short of a "mom cry". 
Once your mom starts crying it's all over.
-------------------- What's up everybody?!
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Joolz


Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 3,614
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: Cups]
#14223747 - 04/01/11 10:28 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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My father beat the ever living shit out of me. It didn't make me treat people with the same, abuse drugs or alcohol (I maybe indulge in psychs too much, but fuck you, I'm still a tax paying, working American, I just want to see things that are "far out man") or any bullshit like that. It just made me hate my father because he's a was a stupid piece of shit, and I learned to grow up NOT like him. It didn't cause me to go all suicidal or become a tantrum throwing little faggot.
I know that there is a reason for Diploid's post. There definitely are people that have those factors in their life now because of parental abuse in the past. I just don't understand what causes people to snap and go all crazy. I see somebody doing something that I find awful or terrible and decide to not be that way in life. It doesn't make me go all crazy.
-------------------- Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.
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Diploid
Cuban



Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: Joolz]
#14223830 - 04/01/11 10:44 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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My father beat the ever living shit out of me. It didn't make me treat people with the same, abuse drugs or alcohol (I maybe indulge in psychs too much
But it did increase your RISK FACTORS to those things. The available evidence is very clear on this.
People smoke cigarettes all their life and some never get sick. That doesn't change the fact that they increased their chances of getting sick.
In every statistical game, there will be winner and losers. The steeper the odds, the more losers.
IMO, no one who loves someone will deliberately cause them pain, especially when it's been well established that disciplining children with pain is less effective than other methods and increases their risks of lifelong psychological problems.
It just made me hate my father
That reads like a lifelong "problem" in my book. Kids should love their parents, not hate them. It's a fucked up consequence of him inflict violence on you as a kid, IMO.
-------------------- Republican Values: 1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you. 2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child. 3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer. 4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: Joolz]
#14224901 - 04/02/11 06:40 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Joolz said: My father beat the ever living shit out of me. It didn't make me treat people with the same, abuse drugs or alcohol (I maybe indulge in psychs too much, but fuck you, I'm still a tax paying, working American, I just want to see things that are "far out man") or any bullshit like that. It just made me hate my father because he's a was a stupid piece of shit, and I learned to grow up NOT like him. It didn't cause me to go all suicidal or become a tantrum throwing little faggot.
I know that there is a reason for Diploid's post. There definitely are people that have those factors in their life now because of parental abuse in the past. I just don't understand what causes people to snap and go all crazy. I see somebody doing something that I find awful or terrible and decide to not be that way in life. It doesn't make me go all crazy. 
Psychological trauma is only one side of the coin, you also need crazy genes to become crazy after such an experience... And who knows...maybe it didn't leave you as balanced as you might think it did It might have changed your personality in ways you don't even acknowledge...
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Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,851
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: 13.step]
#14224965 - 04/02/11 07:29 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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spanking your children is illegal. it is only temporarily rewarding, and long term ultra f*cked up. discipline without punishment seems more difficult that the old way, but it is better. caveat: it takes lots of love and patience and quite a bit of ingenuity.
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_ 🧠 _
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Joolz


Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 3,614
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: redgreenvines]
#14225258 - 04/02/11 09:47 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: spanking your children is illegal. it is only temporarily rewarding, and long term ultra f*cked up. discipline without punishment seems more difficult that the old way, but it is better. caveat: it takes lots of love and patience and quite a bit of ingenuity.
Its illegal in some states, but not all. There was a huge problem in my family because my mother busted my step-sisters ass as a last resort. She cried to her mom, who called the police, and then she (the mom) got laughed at over the phone by the police because its illegal in California but not here.
-------------------- Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.
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smokin427



Registered: 07/27/09
Posts: 603
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: Joolz]
#14225290 - 04/02/11 10:01 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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i can remember getting spanked when i was a kid, several times. it was times i was being a little smartass, and knew what i was doing wrong, but decided to do it anyways.
i turned out fine.
i think when its used sparingly, is an effective tool for discipline. my parents love me just as much as i plan on loving my children; love is more important than anything. but kids don't always have the same emotional intelligence as we do, and when you tell them you're disappointed, they're probably not going to learn their lesson. I think discipline has to evolve over the course of their life. little spankings may be the beginning for the young ones who dont understand, followed by some evolved plan of action. im only 20, what do i know?
-------------------- I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?
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Joolz


Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 3,614
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: smokin427]
#14225366 - 04/02/11 10:31 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
smokin427 said: i can remember getting spanked when i was a kid, several times. it was times i was being a little smartass, and knew what i was doing wrong, but decided to do it anyways.
i turned out fine.
i think when its used sparingly, is an effective tool for discipline. my parents love me just as much as i plan on loving my children; love is more important than anything. but kids don't always have the same emotional intelligence as we do, and when you tell them you're disappointed, they're probably not going to learn their lesson. I think discipline has to evolve over the course of their life. little spankings may be the beginning for the young ones who dont understand, followed by some evolved plan of action. im only 20, what do i know?
I'm right there with you man, I loved my parents and they used to spank me all the time. The reason I no longer love them, however, is not because of the spankings or my upbringing, but really who they have become over the years.
I said I hated my father, and I do, but its because whenever I was old enough my mother told me why they had divorced when I was born. My father had temper issues and used to beat my mother. Yes, he still has temper issues today but is no longer physically abusive, but he's still a tempermental, egotistical fuckwad, so I don't show him any love anymore.
My mother joined the southern Baptists, so there's no real explanation needed as to why her and I don't get along all the time. I get along with my parents, and haven't really told them that their lifestyles have ruined my love for them. The only reason we get along though is because I'm moved out.
-------------------- Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.
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Diploid
Cuban



Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: smokin427]
#14225587 - 04/02/11 11:35 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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i can remember getting spanked when i was a kid, several times. it was times i was being a little smartass, and knew what i was doing wrong
And I contend that if your parents had given you 100% unconditional love instead of pain, you would not have been a "little smartass" in the first place because you would have no desire to be a smartass toward parents you loved with all your heart.
i turned out fine.
Once again, people smoke all their life and never get sick. That doesn't change the fact that they increased their risk factors. You turned out fine, but your odds of turning out fine were reduced.
That is not something a loving parent inflicts on their children.
-------------------- Republican Values: 1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you. 2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child. 3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer. 4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.
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4896744
Small Town Girl


Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 5,128
Loc: United States
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: Diploid]
#14225733 - 04/02/11 12:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Does anyone know of any studies conducted on this issue? This subject seems to bring nothing more than unbacked assertions.
-------------------- Live your Life!
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Penelope_Tree
Shamanic Panic


Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 8,535
Loc: magic sugarcastle
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: 4896744]
#14225903 - 04/02/11 12:51 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I was beaten pretty heavily as a child... nothing that I would say was "abuse" (I never got broken bones or bruises) but it was regular. I don't even know what for anymore, doing things I wasn't supposed to, probably. I would get in trouble for not going outside, being a smartass, not listening..
I think it has adversely effected me; I dislike my mom. My dad probably hit me a few times, but I really remember my mom doing it. The time I remember most, though, I don't know what I even did anymore, but I remember being on the ground in my room being kicked in the side repeatedly..
My brother and I are 4 years apart, me being elder, and I have seen how she can hardly deal with him. She used to get in arguments with my dad and say it was my dad's fault that my brother was a heathen because my dad never "knocked him in the dirt when he needed it".
A lot of shit I used to do was to get away from her; i'd go smoke cigs to get out of the house. I've had dreams for years where she'll shoot me in the face with a gun, or turn into a zombie and blame me for it, among other shit. My way to deal with it in the past was to learn a lot of words and use them when we would argue. It would feel so good, like spitting poison, to call her something weighty, like "vile", when I knew she was loosing it.
--------------------
full blown human
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Diploid
Cuban



Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: 4896744]
#14226520 - 04/02/11 02:53 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Does anyone know of any studies conducted on this issue?
A meta-study aggregating the results of numerous other studies was done by Tulane this year. It was published in the medical journal Pediatrics. Here's part of the abstract.
[spanking] was associated with increased risk for higher levels of child aggression when the child was 5 years of age (adjusted odds ratio: 1.49 [95% confidence interval: 1.2–1.8]; P < .0001), even with controlling for the child's level of aggression at age 3 and the aforementioned potential confounding factors and key demographic features.
Time did a story about the article. Here's an excerpt:
...in a new study published in Pediatrics, researchers at Tulane University provide the strongest evidence yet that children's short-term response to spanking may make them act out more in the long run. Of the nearly 2,500 youngsters in the study, those who were spanked more frequently at age 3 were much more likely to be aggressive by age 5.
Another study done by McMaster University says:
Among the respondents without a history of physical or sexual abuse during childhood, those who reported being slapped or spanked "often" or "sometimes" had significantly higher lifetime rates of anxiety disorders, alcohol abuse or dependence and one or more externalizing problems (adjusted OR 2.08, 95% CI 1.36-3.16), compared with those who reported "never" being slapped or spanked. There was also an association between a history of slapping or spanking and major depression, but it was not statistically significant
Pediatricians and child psychologists are aligned on the issue of hitting kids to make them behave. The vast majority are against it because there is hard, demonstrable, repeatable evidence that it is harmful to the psyche of the child.
YOUR child may turn out fine after being given violence by the person that's supposed to protect and nurture them, but you will have nevertheless increased the odds against them of developing psychological problems in adulthood.
Only a FUCKED UP parent would give their child increased odds of these problems by using violence as a form of discipline when the evidence is clear and abundant.
Don't hit kids!
-------------------- Republican Values: 1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you. 2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child. 3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer. 4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.
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Cherk
Fashionable


Registered: 10/25/02
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its just the way some parents deal with shit
it aint right though
and they may run into an angry boyfriend one day who doesn't mind doing a few months or more hard time
you knnow I guess that only complicates the situation but I dont think heavy polarization is absolutely negative
sometimes its good for someone to hear "want me to shoot your dad?"
anyways I got on a fetish dating site for a few days and lots of ladies like to be spanked but they always cuss me out and ignore me before I can understand them
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I have considered such matters. SIKE
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Freedom
Pigment of your imagination



Registered: 05/26/05
Posts: 5,999
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Re: Fathers spanking their daughters [Re: Cherk]
#14227763 - 04/02/11 07:05 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
cherokee said:
anyways I got on a fetish dating site for a few days and lots of ladies like to be spanked but they always cuss me out and ignore me before I can understand them
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