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OfflineMycotopiotic
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Registered: 08/18/10
Posts: 67
Loc: over the edge
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
? about drug testing
    #14195136 - 03/27/11 10:41 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Hi, I've got a drug test coming up for a new job in approximately a week. I've been drearily sober (I only smoked weed, though heavily) for 9 days now and I've got about 7 more to go before the "big day." I know that I'm going to be tested in a lab, or so I assume because they told me I wouldn't know my results for 3 days (ugh.)

So, my plan so far has been to attack this via exercise and high protein-low fat meals hoping to burn off some of my THC fat reserves. I was just curious if anyone here has an idea of how long it takes THC to be absorbed by fat cells? I know that detox drinks/supplements sometimes fail and I don't plan on wasting my money on somethin' that isn't guaranteed. I was thinking if I maybe eat a really fatty meal the night before, then a high protein meal a few hours earlier in conjunction with a few liters of water over that time it would help more?

Just a crazy thought, any helpful feedback is appreciated!


--------------------
When can I take you from this place?
When is the word but a sigh?
When is death our lone beholder?
When would we walk the final steps?
When can we scream instead of whisper?
When is the new beginning,
and the end of this sad Madrigal

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OfflineLeanin
Student of theIron Game
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Re: ? about drug testing [Re: Mycotopiotic]
    #14195164 - 03/27/11 10:46 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

use someone elses piss, keep it above 90 degrees.

or dilute your piss by slamming water before the test.

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OfflineHook420
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Re: ? about drug testing [Re: Mycotopiotic]
    #14195170 - 03/27/11 10:47 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

See if you can find out if they test the ph of your urine, if they don't just drink about a gallon of water before the test, make sure you are pissing clear before you go there.  An if you cant find out you can still drink the water an the test will come back inconclusive which should buy you a lil more time to take the retest.  Good luck!!

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InvisiblePoid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir
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Posts: 40,372
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Re: ? about drug testing [Re: Mycotopiotic]
    #14195208 - 03/27/11 10:54 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Mycotopiotic said:
Hi, I've got a drug test coming up for a new job in approximately a week. I've been drearily sober (I only smoked weed, though heavily) for 9 days now and I've got about 7 more to go before the "big day." I know that I'm going to be tested in a lab, or so I assume because they told me I wouldn't know my results for 3 days (ugh.)


Hope they're not testing your hair:

Erowid Cannabis (Marijuana) Vault : Drug Testing
Quote:

Hair Testing

Cannabis use is detectable with hair tests and is generally included in the standard hair test. Hair tests generally take the most recent 1.5 inches of growth and use those for testing. That provides a detection period of approximately 90 days. If an individual's hair is shorter than 1.5 inches, this detection period will be shorter.




--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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Invisiblesterlingmaxx
New Psychonaut
Male


Registered: 03/21/11
Posts: 17
Re: ? about drug testing [Re: Poid] * 1
    #14195332 - 03/27/11 11:14 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I've posted comments in other forums about my experience with using synthetic urine so I'll copy and paste it here...hopefully it helps! I've used synthetic urine 3 times now to get a job, all 3 times with 100% success!!

Firstly, they will not be in the room with you as you pee unless it's a very specific job (military, or possibly government job, court ordered drug test) so synthetic urine is the best possible solution.

Go to your local head shop, look for just about any of them (I used Quick Fix once before, but they're all pretty decent). The only thing to make sure is that:

1: The bottle that they give you has a temperature reader on it. Just a simple strip reader. You need to keep the sample at the right temp.

2: They provide a hand warmer with it. One of those hand warmers that you take skiing. That you shake them around and they produce heat. You need that to keep it at the proper tempature after heating it initially. I would even recommend going to a store and getting extra ones in case the one that they provide for you is already used somehow accidentally, or is just a dud.

3: Get a tensor bandage. You know, the stretchy skin colored material thing that you put on a sprained ankle or whatever. You can use it to wrap around your leg and have somewhere secure to store your synthetic when you go in. They will make you empty your pockets, so simply putting the bottle in your pocket will not work.

So, day of your test, wait until the last possible minute to leave your house. Just before, stick the bottle of synth in the microwave for about 7-8 seconds. Just enough to get it up into the 90's (tempwise). Wrap that tensor bandage around your leg. Break the hand warmer, wrap it around the synth bottle with an elastic band, put it in the tensor bandage (against your leg), go to the testing place, go in like a boss!

The great thing is you don't have to stop smoking if you don't feel like it!

Here's a Youtube vid that explains it a little better and with PICTURES!! *laughz*


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Offlineesquaredx
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Registered: 10/24/09
Posts: 1,497
Loc: Dutch Country
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: ? about drug testing [Re: sterlingmaxx]
    #14195388 - 03/27/11 11:24 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

from Erowid-
Detection Period in Urine
1-6 days (single use)
Detection Period in Urine
3-9 days (weekly use)
Detection Period in Urine
7-30 days (daily use)

I know alot of factors are in play here... But how accurate would that be.


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OfflineMycotopiotic
Male


Registered: 08/18/10
Posts: 67
Loc: over the edge
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: ? about drug testing [Re: esquaredx]
    #14195470 - 03/27/11 11:44 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Nah it's just a urine sample they told me, I have no idea 'bout the pH testing though.

I'm definitely in the daily use column there heh. How much does synthetic urine cost usually? This is the first time I've taken a break from smoking longer than a day or two since I started well over 6 years ago. I smoked on average 2-4 grams in a day of pretty decent bud, so I imagine I'm not anywhere near clean yet as far as my bloodstream/fat cells go... This job's only for maintenance work at a country club, it's bullshit that they're even testing me imo.

Thanks everyone for the helpful tips! I'm fairly concerned about this going well. I just want to pass it so I can get mega blazed at work with my friend, driving golf carts around waving at people. :awehigh:


--------------------
When can I take you from this place?
When is the word but a sigh?
When is death our lone beholder?
When would we walk the final steps?
When can we scream instead of whisper?
When is the new beginning,
and the end of this sad Madrigal

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Invisiblesterlingmaxx
New Psychonaut
Male


Registered: 03/21/11
Posts: 17
Re: ? about drug testing [Re: Mycotopiotic]
    #14195554 - 03/28/11 12:03 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I think I paid maybe 40 bucks for the synthetic stuff. It came with everything I needed, but I had to pick up an extra hand warmer the second time I did it. The warmer that came with mine originally had been used somehow. The box was sealed and stuff but I guess it just got bent or something and started it's chemical process.

I tried a masking agent once and it didn't work. Plus I just felt that taking my own urine (which is horribly tainted) was just not going to be an option. Much less stressful knowing that what you're using is already clean, y'know?

Good luck!

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OfflineXUL
OTD Janitor
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Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
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Re: ? about drug testing [Re: sterlingmaxx]
    #14195586 - 03/28/11 12:10 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I was clean for 5 weeks then smoked for 3 days. I was able to come clean for a pee test in 8 days. But I have a metabolism like a jack rabbit.

How much do you weigh and how tall are you? How often do you eat? Are you fat?

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InvisiblePoid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir
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Re: ? about drug testing [Re: XUL]
    #14195592 - 03/28/11 12:12 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

XUL said:
Are you fat?


:curbyourenthusiasm:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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OfflineTreefeeler
Skill Collector


Registered: 02/13/11
Posts: 889
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: ? about drug testing [Re: Poid]
    #14195646 - 03/28/11 12:22 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

It's not exactly THC that their screening for, its the metabolic waste after you use up the assorted lovely cannabinoids.  Diluting doesn't usually work as their often (but not always) testing for other compounds in your piss to determine its concentration.  If the sample just makes the test wonky, some companies will then the sample in for a lab workup to determine if a masking agent was used (certain employers have the money to do this).
Grab a few test kits and see if you can beat them the day before?


--------------------


With the exception of grammatical corrections, everything I say is completely false and without foundation.

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Offlineesquaredx
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Registered: 10/24/09
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Loc: Dutch Country
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: ? about drug testing [Re: Treefeeler]
    #14195685 - 03/28/11 12:30 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Guess if you want a good job, its worth not smoking for a bit :shrug:

Dont have to worry about flushing your system, or using fake piss...


--------------------

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OfflineMycotopiotic
Male


Registered: 08/18/10
Posts: 67
Loc: over the edge
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: ? about drug testing [Re: XUL]
    #14195737 - 03/28/11 12:43 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Eh, I'm about 5'10, 160lbs, not fat. I hardly have an appetite now that I haven't been smoking, I've been averaging maybe 1200 calories a day when I keep track of it.

Pretty sure I'm going to try the synthetic urine, or I'm going to try to jack some clean urine. Maybe I'll get some of those virgin eggs, that'd be clean right? hah.

Those home test kits are just the instant results or something yeah? Comparable to a real test? I don't think I mentioned that I've never had to do this drug test crap before.


--------------------
When can I take you from this place?
When is the word but a sigh?
When is death our lone beholder?
When would we walk the final steps?
When can we scream instead of whisper?
When is the new beginning,
and the end of this sad Madrigal

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineTreefeeler
Skill Collector


Registered: 02/13/11
Posts: 889
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: ? about drug testing [Re: Mycotopiotic]
    #14195796 - 03/28/11 12:57 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Mycotopiotic said:
Those home test kits are just the instant results or something yeah? Comparable to a real test? I don't think I mentioned that I've never had to do this drug test crap before.




Yes, very much comparable to the tests that most companies employ, it screens for a top 4 or 5 substances.  At the very basic: Opiates, Cannabinoids, amphetamines.
The drug war has spawned a ginormous market for drug testing, so they churn out these cups that you pee into, shake around, and it tells you whats what.  Usually the bigger the deal, the better and more invasive (hair analysis) the test.

But next time, just stay away from za drugs till you clear.  And to those in the manufacturing line of work: if you get injured on the job (forklift operation, machinery accident), they almost always drug test you right after and before you return to employment.


--------------------


With the exception of grammatical corrections, everything I say is completely false and without foundation.

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Invisiblevandago
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Re: ? about drug testing [Re: Mycotopiotic]
    #14195800 - 03/28/11 12:58 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

That erowid info with 30 days for daily use is a crock of shit IMO.  It's always taken me 35+ to clean out when I smoked, and I was a very skinny fellow back then.  Quickest I ever cleaned out was 42 days, last time it was around 55.  Friends that smoke as much as I did took up to 70.


Weed's justa gettin stronger it is.

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Offlineesquaredx
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Re: ? about drug testing [Re: vandago]
    #14195821 - 03/28/11 01:03 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
That erowid info with 30 days for daily use is a crock of shit IMO.  It's always taken me 35+ to clean out when I smoked, and I was a very skinny fellow back then.  Quickest I ever cleaned out was 42 days, last time it was around 55.  Friends that smoke as much as I did took up to 70.


Weed's justa gettin stronger it is.




Thanks for the input on that.
Its been a long while since ive smoked.. And that chart dont seem up to date.


--------------------

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OfflineMycotopiotic
Male


Registered: 08/18/10
Posts: 67
Loc: over the edge
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: ? about drug testing [Re: sterlingmaxx]
    #14196834 - 03/28/11 09:10 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Wait a second, what do you do about DNA urine testing? I just thought about this, considering it not probable until I google searched and found out that labs do it. :thumbdown:

Synthetic urines don't have DNA yes?


--------------------
When can I take you from this place?
When is the word but a sigh?
When is death our lone beholder?
When would we walk the final steps?
When can we scream instead of whisper?
When is the new beginning,
and the end of this sad Madrigal

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OfflineDrMambo
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Re: ? about drug testing [Re: Mycotopiotic]
    #14196888 - 03/28/11 09:24 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

the cost of a urine DNA test is probably prohibitive, and I've NEVER heard of it being employed

they'd do a gas chromatography of your follicles at the most, and even that shit costs a bunch


--------------------
"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"

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Offlinealcoholocaust
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Re: ? about drug testing [Re: DrMambo]
    #14196896 - 03/28/11 09:25 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

fake piss.... go to a head shop or a porn shop and ask for a wizzinator or something like that... the synthetic pee... works everytime if your smart


--------------------


I dont like cocaine.... Just the smell of it

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OfflineTreefeeler
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Registered: 02/13/11
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Re: ? about drug testing [Re: DrMambo]
    #14201026 - 03/28/11 10:54 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DrMambo said:
the cost of a urine DNA test is probably prohibitive, and I've NEVER heard of it being employed

they'd do a gas chromatography of your follicles at the most, and even that shit costs a bunch




That's it, most places are testing people in droves so spending the money on a hair based drug test for each person results in ramped up costs (really fucks over those that prefer longer hair).  But, again, if your in line for some big deal shit, their more likely to spend the money to examine the candidate.


--------------------


With the exception of grammatical corrections, everything I say is completely false and without foundation.

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