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Offlinezzenix
sister
Registered: 02/26/03
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Loc: betwixt
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
"time traveller" from 2256 arrested
    #1418879 - 03/30/03 10:21 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

i found this article pretty interesting...
http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030319/104808600007.html?


'TIME-TRAVELER' BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING
Wednesday March 19, 2003



By CHAD KULTGEN

NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28.

"We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar," says an SEC insider.

"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.

"The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources."

The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs.

"If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance," says the SEC source close to the hush-hush, ongoing investigation.

When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession.

Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.

"It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. "I had planned to make it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment."

In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.

All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time craft."

However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into the wrong hands."

Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."

Weekly World News will continue to follow this story as it unfolds. Keep watching for further developments.

.....strange that they have no record of him...what do you think?


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OfflineUnknown
Confused,dizzy,wheream I again?
Registered: 01/07/02
Posts: 380
Loc: MA
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: "time traveller" from 2256 arrested [Re: zzenix]
    #1419291 - 03/31/03 04:16 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

"No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."


SHIIIIT,I believe that trick.He really did come from the future.I'm going to show this article to my pet snipe. (I really do believe that guy though)


--------------------
The above is just like,my opinion man


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OfflinemotamanM
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Registered: 12/18/02
Posts: 6,021
Last seen: 12 days, 7 hours
Re: "time traveller" from 2256 arrested [Re: Anonymous]
    #1419508 - 03/31/03 10:15 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Weekly World News



http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/






--------------------
http://heffter.org


Edited by motaman (03/31/03 10:29 AM)


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OfflineHidingInPlainSight
Male User Gallery
Registered: 01/27/03
Posts: 2,076
Loc: Portland, OR
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: "time traveller" from 2256 arrested [Re: zzenix]
    #1419862 - 03/31/03 02:48 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

i absolutely love stuff like that...

i love when bums off the street claim they are jesus :smile: i really like that one haha 


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InvisibleDazedSol
old hand

Registered: 08/01/01
Posts: 1,230
Re: "time traveller" from 2256 arrested [Re: zzenix]
    #1419984 - 03/31/03 04:09 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Hehe....stuff like this always makes me think.....that when something crazy is about to go down(like end of the world scenario or a plague, etc) or someone special has done something incredible that they will be locked away as a lunatic..... :wink: what if this guy is telling the truth?  think..12 monkeys 


--------------------
Peace,
Adam


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Invisiblecheesenoonions
??????????????

Registered: 04/02/01
Posts: 584
Re: "time traveller" from 2256 arrested [Re: HidingInPlainSight]
    #1420301 - 03/31/03 08:21 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

bums don't usually get that lucky and make that kind of cash of the stock market :grin:.  I would ask him what the future thinks of the Bush family. 


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Offlinediggitydankman
No longer aCannabisConnoisseur

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 479
Loc: Michgan
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: "time traveller" from 2256 arrested [Re: zzenix]
    #1420549 - 03/31/03 11:19 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Come on, everyone knows that you can not travel backwards in time to a point before your time machine was designed and constructed. Geez, what an idiot at least he could have gotten his facts straight.


--------------------
"It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD."

Maynard James Keenan, Tool


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OfflineComponent
Stranger
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Registered: 05/31/02
Posts: 215
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: "time traveller" from 2256 arrested *DELETED* [Re: diggitydankman]
    #1420574 - 03/31/03 11:37 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Post deleted by Component

Reason for deletion: ...



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InvisibleMicronMagick
old hand

Registered: 10/17/01
Posts: 1,026
Re: [Re: Component]
    #1420775 - 04/01/03 01:44 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Damn this is too strange. I can't find anything to beleive he is NOT a time traveller. Other then it goes against normal thinking, but then again no one has every accused me of being normal.


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OfflinemotamanM
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Registered: 12/18/02
Posts: 6,021
Last seen: 12 days, 7 hours
Re: [Re: MicronMagick]
    #1421325 - 04/01/03 11:08 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

  I can't find anything to beleive he is NOT a time traveller




The fact that this story came from a supermarket tabloid dosen't make it a little less beleivable?  :grin: 


--------------------
http://heffter.org


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Offlineshirley knott
not my real name
 User Gallery
Registered: 11/11/02
Posts: 9,103
Loc: London
Last seen: 10 months, 3 days
Re: "time traveller" from 2256 arrested [Re: zzenix]
    #1423488 - 04/02/03 04:55 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

April fool!    (surely?)

i'm gonna do a search on his name, try to find out if i can source what stocks he's supposed to have bought (126 in 14 days) and see if they're still going up!  :laugh: if we all did this, they'd go up (like the chinamen all running on the spot facing east) 


--------------------
buh


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OfflineJssMthrFcknChrst
Son of the LordGod Almighty

Registered: 10/12/02
Posts: 446
Loc: Vatican City
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: [Re: shirley knott]
    #1423601 - 04/02/03 05:43 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Common'!!! This is by weekly world news, the people who brought you BatBoy. For Christ's sake, BAT BOY!


--------------------



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OfflineJssMthrFcknChrst
Son of the LordGod Almighty

Registered: 10/12/02
Posts: 446
Loc: Vatican City
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: [Re: JssMthrFcknChrst]
    #1423640 - 04/02/03 05:58 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Maybe they arn't totally wrong:

SCHOOLS WILL SOON FORCE YOUR KIDS TO TAKE DRUGS
Like it or not -- educators plan to push 'good behavior' pills on children!


WASHINGTON -- Children who "don't fit in" at school will soon be ordered to take wonder drugs to control their behavior.

That includes everyone from the school bully and the class sissy to the fat kid no one wants to play with, a leading education consultant warns.

"I predict that by the year 2006, at least 23 children out of a typical fourth-grade class of 25 will be on a physician-prescribed drug -- and some may be on a cocktail of several drugs," says D.C.-based Dr. Albert Hiskford, Ph.D.

"As a parent, you will have little or no say in the matter. If school administrators determine your son is too aggressive to interact with other kids, for example, and needs to take tranquilizers, you have to agree to the treatment.

"If you don't, he won't be allowed in school. Taking the prescribed meds will be mandatory, just as immunization shots are now."

Dr. Hiskford bases his unsettling assertions on discussions he's had with U.S. Department of Education officials, who've confided that studies on the effectiveness of a wide range of drugs are already being conducted.

"If I told you 30 years ago that the children we thought of back then as 'fidgety' kids would one day be diagnosed with a mental problem, Attention Deficit Disorder, and ordered to take pills everyday, you'd have said that I was crazy," he points out.

"This may sound farfetched as well, but the underlying principle is the same.

"Teachers and school administrators are leaning away from old-fashioned discipline as a means to control their classrooms and are turning toward drugs to impose conformity.

"Children who in the past would have been considered normal, or pests at worst, will now be diagnosed with a host of newly discovered 'disorders'."

-- By MICHAEL FORSYTH

Published on: March 18, 2003

(Source)

Although, taking something that is already happening and calling it a prophecy is kind of misleading.


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