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growbit
Stranger

Registered: 10/29/10
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Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) 1
#14185139 - 03/26/11 01:23 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I've been preparing for what I experienced last night for many months, and finally was ready.
I had practiced meditation for a while, and felt like I was in a good mental state to experience my first hero dose. I took a combination of a few strains of mushies, some weak, some potent, but overall probably at around the recommended 5 gram hero dose.
My ego was shattered so quickly, I didn't have time to even experience come-up anxiety. Within about an hour, I was already in a different "realm" (that familiar shroomy place). It felt good. I was on my bed, listening to shpongle, with a scarf tied around my eyes to keep them closed.
This time was very very different - I felt myself breaking through, my mind merging between the spaces of reality. Although I am sure I have forgotten most, I will try articulate what I learnt:
- There was very very clearly something that was "not me", talking to me. It was the antithesis of me, but somehow connected to me (almost like the yin to my yang) - I discovered that bad trips, anxiety on the come up etc. are just tests that you need to go through, and if you relax your mind and become a pure willing observer, you are taken to higher levels that you never thought of - The mind is physically incapable of remembering and storing these mental trip states, although they are stored in some shape or form (ethereally?). When I was tripping, I clearly remembered my previous trips that I had forgotten about in my normal life. - There is NO meaning to life. There is absolutely no point to it. We are bound by logic in this universe of physical laws, and thus seek, logically, to define meaning. The beauty is that it is all about experiencing life, as it happens, through your senses. - I felt that the being I was talking to, was somehow jealous of me and my ability to "sense" what is on my plane of reality (my senses). There was untold love between us, amazing bliss, but it communicated to me how precious my physical body and life was, and I must respect it. - I have absolutely no fear of death now. I could die right now, and not be scared. However, I love living more than ever, it has taught me how precious every heart beat is, every breath, every tingle of the senses. - Something kept repeating to me in my deepest trip - "GOD IS BETWEEN THE SPACES". Although it made perfect sense during the trip, I'm already struggling to understand it again. - The most important part for me: Shrooms, meditation, fasting, etc are pathways, via love and willing observation, to experience a tiny part of what it is to be connected with god (upon death, I suppose). However, there is no way we can describe what we experience in these trips in normal reality - our physically bound minds do not let us, they can't. - The "tragedy" of life is that we cannot understand God with our limited logic and reasoning. Where I was, there was no logic. There were no emotions, no desires, no fears - but I felt like I was EVERYTHING. It was blissful and perfect. - When I questioned the being about who are other people, and how we connect, I immediately felt an understanding that we are all from the same route source of life - but we are physically seperated in this plane. To connect us all, you just need to project love. - people in this world completely misunderstand god when they put their concepts of logic around it. this is what creates the misery of churches, and religions - all totally useless to what God really is.
Where to go now? I doubt my life will change too much, since I've learnt that I am absolutely perfect as I am now, and things are exactly how they should be.
This trip was fucking mind bendingly insane. There was absolutely no way that my mind could have come up with that, but either way - what I learnt will be gradually integrated in my life ahead.
I have no urge to take this dose again any time soon, although would like to keep my spiritual side checked in now and then (maybe twice a year).
I will just keep on meditating as much as possible, projecting love and sensing my world around me in the present moment.
Thank you for you time.
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Run
Questioning my existance



Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 488
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: growbit]
#14185156 - 03/26/11 01:28 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I would recommend dosing again in a few months. sometimes those perspectives and attitudes are lost with time, re dosing gives alot of retrospect and overall is a good idea IMO
-------------------- You, me, this point in existence is undeniably so unique, we take everything for granite ,life , comprehension, feelings, thought, so accustomed to understanding that we've lost the meaning of fully understanding who we are..... we are the extra terrestrial, we are the unknown, we are the mystical...
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Der Meister
Stranger Danger



Registered: 03/24/11
Posts: 17
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: growbit]
#14185168 - 03/26/11 01:32 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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epic man! I have yet to have taken a hero dose(level 2-3 so far) with shrooms.
Honestly that sounds like such an amazing trip. Maybe you experienced something out there? maybe you met the very inner depths of your own mind? o.O
I have had a level 5 with salvia before. I saw reality being ripped away and saw a new existence that is parallel to our own. I would like to believe that drugs like these give us a chance to see more then our normal 5 senses allow is. (6th sense )
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growbit
Stranger

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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: Der Meister]
#14185228 - 03/26/11 02:03 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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It was truly epic hey. I remember coming out of it by being gently brought back to reality, and I realized I was in the foetal position crying, saying aloud "what the fuck was that". It was truly insane.
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Der Meister
Stranger Danger



Registered: 03/24/11
Posts: 17
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: growbit]
#14185312 - 03/26/11 02:46 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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hahaha that's just epic!! wonder what you looked like in the sober world during the trip
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Comcouveflor



Registered: 07/11/10
Posts: 353
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: Der Meister]
#14185742 - 03/26/11 07:41 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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You ARE everything. Or rather "you" don't exist. Great to read this, sparkled some bits of my memory
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Diacetylmentlegen
Gentleman



Registered: 06/13/10
Posts: 267
Loc: Ireland
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: Comcouveflor]
#14185760 - 03/26/11 07:53 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Sounds good man 
Wish I could not be afraid of dying TBQH. Though I think much of my compunctions about early death involve not having lived well enough so far.
-------------------- "When I recall it and when I recall various other symptoms... I think the simplest explanation is... that I had these experiences, that they were real... and that they took place outside time." - Christopher Mayhew
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Diacetylmentlegen
Gentleman



Registered: 06/13/10
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: Diacetylmentlegen]
#14186098 - 03/26/11 10:16 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Christ. I think right now I can understand what you mean...
I feel like I'm on a higher plane... like...
It all sounds a bit wishy washy in a way of course but it's genuinely a feeling sometimes like... I dunno... people wonder "Is the body all that there is? blah blah blah" and I'm getting flashes of like... "What? That's not even the beginning. That's not even any of it... that doesn't even make up... 1/100 of it". Like "worldly" matters are... a bit beneath me at the minute or something as pretentious as it all sounds.
Lolwut, I don't even know what I just typed but... it should be nonsense yet it feels so real and more strangely it feels OBVIOUSLY so. Like I'm REGRESSING, not learning anything NEW. I'm just... returning to what was clearly... something something.
Looks like this just turned into The Bloggery... oops
Re-reading now... amazed it was actually me who wrote that... agreeing with what so many other people have said and what I dismissed as "yeah... maybe but... he's probably also a bit nuts.".
I think I'm losing some fear of death even. Christ .
-------------------- "When I recall it and when I recall various other symptoms... I think the simplest explanation is... that I had these experiences, that they were real... and that they took place outside time." - Christopher Mayhew
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: growbit] 3
#14186099 - 03/26/11 10:16 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Let me see if I can spoil the party.
I was an atheist, a critically minded rational thinker my whole life. After many oral DMT trips and experiences just like yours my world view changed. I became God, met God, felt divinity, experienced textbook Buddhist enlightenment. What the fuck was all of this? It was as if a universe opened up to me that was previously hidden from view. I was in awe of it, confused by it, and excited at the possibilities. Here I was living out the same eternal moments that Jesus, Mohammed, all the prophets and deities and holy figures of the world felt. What to do with it? Nothing. It's fucking bullshit. The only change that I have seen is that myself and others like me become weird assholes. It just takes YOU and amplifies you into a weirder version of yourself, not a happier or more content one. There is nothing tangible from the trips, nothing there but strange unwordable feelings. To construct religious beliefs from these drugs is insane. To feel you now have hints and clues into the nature of existence is an exercise in futility and eventual madness. To think that death or an afterlife is somehow related to these trips is wildly wishful thinking.
You were an atheist before the trip? Apply all of your critical thinking skills, your rational thought processes, and your bullshit detector to your drug trips. Try it, I fucking dare you, that's more scary and real than accepting your chemical enlightenment. That'll open doors to whats really going on and what these drugs really do. They fuck you up and turn some people into superstitious flakes.
Bring on the hate and burn this heretic at the stake, motherfuckers!
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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Diacetylmentlegen
Gentleman



Registered: 06/13/10
Posts: 267
Loc: Ireland
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: joemolloy]
#14186169 - 03/26/11 10:43 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Ya ya I know. I didn't say I was entirely convinced, just that those were the thoughts coming to mind... for my perusal
EDIT: However, I think it is worth mentioning... that just because one spends more time in the "sober" mindset, that does not necessarily mean it's more... accurate or what have you. You have very different... faculties available to you in different states and it's not perhaps true that you're working with the most "tools" when you're sober and not "under the influence" as it were. And if these substances take your brain and alter it in some way... perhaps it could also be true that there might be other beings who have brains that are like these altered states all of the time (or it could as easily have been us etc. etc.) where to them manner of the things which seem clear when we are sober would seem laughable and absurd. So... I dunno, maybe I'm trying to make an observation about how we only have our minds and our minds are only capable of so much perhaps and whether or not there is a god or many gods or this is that or what how is something that we can never really tell. Even if we could... how would we ever truly know for sure? Christ. This must be how Socrates and Plato got started . They should've kept away from the damn mold and their lives would've been so much simpler.
-------------------- "When I recall it and when I recall various other symptoms... I think the simplest explanation is... that I had these experiences, that they were real... and that they took place outside time." - Christopher Mayhew
Edited by Diacetylmentlegen (03/26/11 11:16 AM)
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245willow19

Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 4,861
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: joemolloy]
#14186175 - 03/26/11 10:43 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Epic, no wonder the popes so close to God! he's freaking Tripping
-------------------- ....
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Sobercolober
Tuft checker



Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 995
Loc: EU
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: joemolloy]
#14186190 - 03/26/11 10:49 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I think "wishy washyness" is a cultural inheritance.
I mean logic bore nuclear power, and yet it appears to the scientists (well not all of them but many) that saying nuclear power is "safe" is not wishy washy but we have recently been proved wrong again and it appears that this is wishy washy at the highest level, crimes against humankind. Perspective is a funny thing and when under the influence of the shroom, re-counting the experience is often in words easily dismissed. But fact is it is very suignificant when you are in such states. Odd isn't it, cause you can easily think your own recollections are wishy washy, if this was less taboo we would have a differnt view of these thoughts and descriptions. I am not suggesting we bath in our own recollections of other worldlyness dy in day out just how we are so limited in our capacity to express it other than anon. on an internet board.
Quote:
I was an atheist, a critically minded rational thinker my whole life. After many oral DMT trips and experiences just like yours my world view changed. I became God, met God, felt divinity, experienced textbook Buddhist enlightenment. What the fuck was all of this? It was as if a universe opened up to me that was previously hidden from view. I was in awe of it, confused by it, and excited at the possibilities. Here I was living out the same eternal moments that Jesus, Mohammed, all the prophets and deities and holy figures of the world felt. What to do with it? Nothing. It's fucking bullshit. The only change that I have seen is that myself and others like me become weird assholes. It just takes YOU and amplifies you into a weirder version of yourself, not a happier or more content one. There is nothing tangible from the trips, nothing there but strange unwordable feelings. To construct religious beliefs from these drugs is insane. To feel you now have hints and clues into the nature of existence is an exercise in futility and eventual madness. To think that death or an afterlife is somehow related to these trips is wildly wishful thinking.
You must have been a weird asshole before you took the substances Joe. I do not think that anyone attributing spiritual significance to an trip of some kind should be judged more harshly than someone who has faith in things that are even less tangible and emperically tested such as standard religious belief for example. Here lies little proff and yet billions belive without question.(or investigation) We must reflect with balance of course but to suggest that insanity and weirdness is the only significance is complete and total bollox.You made a personal choice to do nothing with it thats all.(other than criticize others of course). Incidently your view is simply an opinion and is no more tangible than the word "unwordable".
Cheers for the nice report, I like those type of reports.
Edited by Sobercolober (03/26/11 11:02 AM)
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Diacetylmentlegen
Gentleman



Registered: 06/13/10
Posts: 267
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Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: growbit]
#14186291 - 03/26/11 11:16 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Another thing I want to say...
Oftentimes we get ideas being presented to us... mushrooms are a good example of it I suppose. They seem to insert ideas for our perusal into some kind of... potential-current-feeling box or some such and we can look in and wonder about that and get a taste of what that might be like and use that to decide if we'd like to take it on more seriously. (Elaborate metaphor maybe, but that's how I feel) But ultimately, we can choose to go with that or not. We can say "yes, I'll go along with that" or "no, I don't agree... I'll wait and see if something else comes along" or what have you. And I think... maybe in all states, sober or anything else, sometimes maybe we forget that choice too much. We look at a depressing image or something and it puts our mind toward downward thoughts and we're too quick to accept them. We can always say... no... that's not all there is, that's only 1 biased view and maybe there are others and maybe that's too simplistic and trying to be all-encompassing and it's very limiting.
And... thoughts I've had on mushrooms really seem no different to any other thoughts in that regard. They come into my mind and no matter how strong or whatever they are I can say "yes, I'll take that on board" or "no... I'll stay outside of that for now".
Maybe OCD makes these things a little more apparent for me, I dunno. I mean, I've had these depressing thoughts and these mood changes. At first you genuinely think things aren't going to get better and you'll always hate everything but then tomorrow's a new day and you don't always feel the same way. Sometimes you can't understand why you'd hate the world so much but then you quickly go back to feeling the same way.
Is what I just described partly why people bug out so much on shrooms? They get these ideas and... I dunno... aren't USED to picking them apart and analysing them so they accept them wholeheartedly? Is that all it is? I'd genuinely love to know because I'm only 1 man with my own feelings. Personally I've had to analyse my feelings and the reasons why I feel what I'm feeling and trying to logicalize and this and that so maybe that's useful with thoughts on psilocin, that I've had to be so self-analytic and had to wonder about the rationality of certain thoughts, about whether they're realistic or not.
I mean, is it really any different when you look at a depressing... building... scene... I don't know... anything, and feel despair and joylessness for the drudgery of the world, than when you get an idea on mushrooms? That was a real question AND rhetorical. You have to tell yourself "sure, I feel bad now... I can't necessarily SEE why I shouldn't feel like this, but I've been this way and I DO KNOW that I'll feel completely different at another point in the future.".
So one thing I'm genuinely asking you people from your own experiences... is that what shrooms are like at higher doses? Or do you really lose the ability to resist such thoughts at all? Does it impose its will on you or... something else? Or maybe relegate you to a mere viewer of thoughts and then later you can pick them apart when you have your sense? But is that all people feeling horrible despair on shrooms is like? Bad thoughts of emptiness etc. etc. or whatever and then they choose to attach more meaning to them than they should? I really want to know.
Oops, that's a big edit . (NVM, I copypasta'd into a new post)
EDIT: (Again, lol) I'd like to point out...
At no point in my "mystical experience" (lal) did I feel the least bit "compelled" to go along with any of this. It was just the most interesting and fascinating idea being presented to me for my inspection. I took it and thought "Wow, I'll have a look at that... that's worth considering..." and so I did.
I didn't feel that somehow the strength and... interest of the feeling (not to overstate it, I'm sure you've all had much better things happen) meant I HAD TO ACCEPT IT IT MUST BE TRUE. Just that it was very interesting indeed and presented to me in a very understandable way.
It certainly has given me a bit to think about... and I shall do so in the future.
-------------------- "When I recall it and when I recall various other symptoms... I think the simplest explanation is... that I had these experiences, that they were real... and that they took place outside time." - Christopher Mayhew
Edited by Diacetylmentlegen (03/26/11 11:21 AM)
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Diacetylmentlegen
Gentleman



Registered: 06/13/10
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: Diacetylmentlegen]
#14186345 - 03/26/11 11:28 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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In Summary:
Whew, that was draining... I think I should relax 
EDIT: Also in summary... I don't know WHAT to make of it all. Anything. Everything. Life. Death. Etc. Maybe I've learned that I think we should stop trying to understand so much since it's probably a pointless game where the only winning move is not to play? Maybe we're just at the mercy of our... situation and shouldn't try to do any more than deal with what's immediately at hand as best we can? I'm reminded of the quote... "Circumstances rule men, men do not rule circumstances".
-------------------- "When I recall it and when I recall various other symptoms... I think the simplest explanation is... that I had these experiences, that they were real... and that they took place outside time." - Christopher Mayhew
Edited by Diacetylmentlegen (03/26/11 11:30 AM)
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magicarpet
Tripper

Registered: 03/25/11
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Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: Sobercolober]
#14186386 - 03/26/11 11:36 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Its always great to hear a story like this growbit! just keep what you've learned with you. You have to keep with you what you've learned, not what others are telling you that you've learned.
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Diacetylmentlegen
Gentleman



Registered: 06/13/10
Posts: 267
Loc: Ireland
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: magicarpet]
#14186540 - 03/26/11 12:16 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah. It's always good to have new perspectives... new information etc. You don't have to buy into any one of them completely or at all and you don't necessarily have to feel compelled to choose a label to identify with (though I usually hate people who use the term label like that... they always seem so Goddamn pretentious ) just so you fit in with what ideas are supposed to go together or what have you.
Like people who seem to feel downright offended when they hear about people who believe in God AND the Big Bang. Or people who are gay AND don't like pink. You know the kind. I suppose we're all like that to some extent though.
Whew, it was an interesting experience today for sure. Seemed not to last as long as usual though, which was odd. Feel revitalized now though and back to normal ^_^.
-------------------- "When I recall it and when I recall various other symptoms... I think the simplest explanation is... that I had these experiences, that they were real... and that they took place outside time." - Christopher Mayhew
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: Diacetylmentlegen]
#14186945 - 03/26/11 01:50 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Does it have any more meaning or significance than a drunken, alcoholic stupor or a heroin nod or a daydream?
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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LuckeyMA
I catapult downtown...



Registered: 08/06/09
Posts: 2,231
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: joemolloy]
#14188566 - 03/26/11 07:30 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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But Joe if it is all about experience.. as op points out. Than there should be any difference. Its about viseral experience, god experiencing Himself through you. And vice a versa.
Think of life like a video game and the object is to go around and feel as much as possible.
But then again who knows for sure, I certainly don't... I just know that there are times when I can help but feel something beyond me is at work right infront of me. sober, tripping, fucked up you name it.
-------------------- "Consciousness survives the death of the body on which it rides"... *Disclaimer* Everything written from this account are meant for amusement purposes ONLY. Everything written or posted from this account are NOT TRUE.
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gerryjarcia
biophiliac



Registered: 05/29/10
Posts: 1,889
Loc: the woods
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: joemolloy]
#14188620 - 03/26/11 07:38 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
joemolloy said: Does it have any more meaning or significance than a drunken, alcoholic stupor or a heroin nod or a daydream?
embittered idealist much?
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"We are all intoxicated. We were born into an insane asylum, a world crazy-making. We believe what we see and hear. The real myth is the myth of sanity, of rationality: it's a disease that is eating away at the earth. All the poisons flow from our denial. We deny madness, we forget our crimes, we dismember the corpse, we imprison our children. We need poison to poison the poison, to remember the sacred nature of intoxication, the green body of the young god." ~ Dale Pendell
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Bassfreak
ManBearPig



Registered: 08/24/10
Posts: 18,014
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Re: Mindblowing trip on 9 grams, talking with "God", no longer athiest (please read) [Re: gerryjarcia]
#14188762 - 03/26/11 07:59 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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so u ate a hallucinogenic drug, broke thru, and now u suddenly believe in god? bc u talked to him when u were on drugs? LOL...this is why people think drugs users are fucking stupid
-------------------- Tom Brady is a God Free Tom Brady
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