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Synesthetic
Ratings go in journal.



Registered: 12/11/08
Posts: 2,715
Loc: Tooele, UT
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Poid]
#14163344 - 03/22/11 06:53 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I don't even remember the attempt. I remember shifting manic (I'm bipolar, although I go from depressed to severely depressed when I go from the depressed pole to the manic pole) and thinking, "Oh, I'll just take a couple of my klonopin and a couple of my mom's friend's percocet, and I'll feel a lot better and will probably sleep like a baby."
Next thing I remember I'm waking up in my cousin's living room on a recliner while he'd just barely fallen asleep after spending the whole night checking my pulse every 10 minutes to make sure I didn't die, and I also had a scratched cornea.
So, confused, I asked him what the fuck happened and he said I came over all fucked up and just passed out.
He took me home, and I was greeted by my mom screaming at me for downing the entire bottle of percocet, and when I went down to my room I found the empty bottle of klonopin next to my laptop.
I know it was a suicide attempt because even on 6 klonopin, I've always known not to mix high doses of benzos and opiates. I probably walked to my cousin's house expecting I was going to pass out somewhere along the way and be found days later.
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Synesthetic
Ratings go in journal.



Registered: 12/11/08
Posts: 2,715
Loc: Tooele, UT
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Synesthetic]
#14163351 - 03/22/11 06:59 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Okay, guys, should I go to bed or down caffeine to stay awake and go to bed at a decent time tonight?
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Synesthetic]
#14163356 - 03/22/11 07:02 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Go to bed now man. Sleeping during the day is fucking fun. Then you get to be up at night when everyone else is asleep.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir




Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Synesthetic]
#14163357 - 03/22/11 07:02 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Hopefully you don't make that same mistake again; who knows, maybe next time you'll never wake up...
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylan  fireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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Maharishi_2_U
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Poid]
#14163364 - 03/22/11 07:06 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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@Ellen I did something like that in my mid twenties.... I got a terrible review of my poetry and lit. In a creative thinking/expression class. At break I went and got a pint of rum and a coke from mc crack shack. I was buzzed when I got home and confined consuming rum and Benzos. Went to the bar.... Got home, fight with ol lady, she throws a plate, I quote Jim Morrison a couple times and sever all four fingers of my hand above the second knuckle to the bone. I came to in a mental ward, tried to get up, but was chemicaly restrained, I fell on my faces and needed four stiches in my chin. I spent seven days in a looney bin in one of the largest US cities. LoL never ever drink rum now. bc
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Synesthetic
Ratings go in journal.



Registered: 12/11/08
Posts: 2,715
Loc: Tooele, UT
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Poid]
#14163365 - 03/22/11 07:07 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Being bipolar, off my meds, and knowing that I could randomly have a mood swing bad enough to attempt suicide is pretty fuckin' scary.
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir




Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Synesthetic]
#14163371 - 03/22/11 07:14 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
boredcertified said: @Ellen I did something like that in my mid twenties.... I got a terrible review of my poetry and lit. In a creative thinking/expression class. At break I went and got a pint of rum and a coke from mc crack shack. I was buzzed when I got home and confined consuming rum and Benzos. Went to the bar.... Got home, fight with ol lady, she throws a plate, I quote Jim Morrison a couple times and sever all four fingers of my hand above the second knuckle to the bone.
Holy shit...
Quote:
boredcertified said: I came to in a mental ward, tried to get up, but was chemicaly restrained, I fell on my faces and needed four stiches in my chin. I spent seven days in a looney bin in one of the largest US cities. LoL never ever drink rum now. bc
All that because you got a bad review on your poetry and literature?
Quote:
Synesthetic said: Being bipolar, off my meds, and knowing that I could randomly have a mood swing bad enough to attempt suicide is pretty fuckin' scary.
That is really scary...
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylan  fireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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Maharishi_2_U
Opt Out Super Fag


Registered: 10/21/09
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Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Poid]
#14163378 - 03/22/11 07:19 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Lol ya! I was quite dramatic in my twenties, a pre Madonna maybe! Lol I declared my major in English lit and philosophy...... As I matured I got into horticulture and bio gen. My right hand, allthough very functional, reminds me not to fuck with benzos n booze... I still do sumtimes, under close, adult, supervison. Ok I am wearing out my , key peas pubbers! bc
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Synesthetic
Ratings go in journal.



Registered: 12/11/08
Posts: 2,715
Loc: Tooele, UT
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Poid]
#14163379 - 03/22/11 07:21 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm also epileptic, and even though I've only had two seizures, they were both grand mals.
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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



Registered: 12/04/08
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Synesthetic]
#14163380 - 03/22/11 07:22 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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im untreated bi-polar, w/ suicidal ideation also oxy/H addict i gues thats why i abuse substances. self-medicating underlying personality disorders
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Boheim
Pondering Thangs



Registered: 06/12/10
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Synesthetic]
#14163384 - 03/22/11 07:24 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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good morning pub....STILL awake..not that it means much since I didn't have to do anything yesterday and slept until 6pm...being awake and doing things while people are still sleeping seems to be more calm and peaceful.
the weather here is in the mid sixties,gray,and cloudy...need to get the dog high so I can trim its claws before wasting yet another day tripping. Quote:
Synesthetic said: I'm also epileptic, and even though I've only had two seizures, they were both grand mals.
only two?...what makes one an epileptic if they have only had two seizures?..you take a script to avoid those?..just curious, I don't know much about it.
-------------------- Není důležité co v životě děláš, hlavně že to dělaš. You can read books about mycology and taxonomy all your life, until you actually go out and hunt mushrooms you are nothing but a bloody n00b. Same goes for mushroom cultivation or any other subject. Theoretical knowledge is nothing without practical application of that knowledge. -German Kahuna
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Synesthetic]
#14163394 - 03/22/11 07:31 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Synesthetic said: I'm also epileptic, and even though I've only had two seizures, they were both grand mals.
Grand mals suck. One of my past friends was epileptic, she had seizures constantly (grand mals and petit mals). Once you learned how to take care of them it wasn't as scary but once when we were in a store she started having a grand mal seizure, and as I caught her as she fell this lady with kids grabbed her kids and ran off muttering some shit about possession. What a fuck tard.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir




Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Synesthetic]
#14163397 - 03/22/11 07:34 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Synesthetic said: I'm also epileptic, and even though I've only had two seizures, they were both grand mals.
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylan  fireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Poid]
#14163402 - 03/22/11 07:35 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Poid said:
Quote:
Synesthetic said: I'm also epileptic, and even though I've only had two seizures, they were both grand mals.
Ahahahahahaha Most people with epilepsy are not triggered by strobe lights. Thats a special kind of epilepsy.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir




Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Oh...
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylan  fireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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Boheim
Pondering Thangs



Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 770
Loc: edge of the future
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Poid]
#14163412 - 03/22/11 07:39 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Poid said:
Quote:
Synesthetic said: I'm also epileptic, and even though I've only had two seizures, they were both grand mals.

I have read that it works better when the lights alternate between colors such as red and green.....but even then,the percentage it would work on would probably be too small for shroomery fun
-------------------- Není důležité co v životě děláš, hlavně že to dělaš. You can read books about mycology and taxonomy all your life, until you actually go out and hunt mushrooms you are nothing but a bloody n00b. Same goes for mushroom cultivation or any other subject. Theoretical knowledge is nothing without practical application of that knowledge. -German Kahuna
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir




Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Boheim]
#14163416 - 03/22/11 07:41 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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That shit gave me a fucking headache...
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylan  fireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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Boheim
Pondering Thangs



Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 770
Loc: edge of the future
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Poid]
#14163426 - 03/22/11 07:44 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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it is a little early for flashing anything.
-------------------- Není důležité co v životě děláš, hlavně že to dělaš. You can read books about mycology and taxonomy all your life, until you actually go out and hunt mushrooms you are nothing but a bloody n00b. Same goes for mushroom cultivation or any other subject. Theoretical knowledge is nothing without practical application of that knowledge. -German Kahuna
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Synesthetic
Ratings go in journal.



Registered: 12/11/08
Posts: 2,715
Loc: Tooele, UT
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Boheim]
#14163431 - 03/22/11 07:45 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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My epilepsy isn't photosensitive, and strobe lights can irritate the brain enough to cause abnormal activity but only in people who have a seizure disorder.
All my EEG showed when I had it was that I can pretty easily go in to a meditative state, and the MRI was clean. That happens in 40% of epileptics, the neuro told me.
Even if they were isolated incidents with no underlying disorder, even having one grand mal pretty much fucks the wiring of your brain permanently.
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: E*llen M*akes C*offee <3 [Re: Synesthetic]
#14163436 - 03/22/11 07:48 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Synesthetic said: My epilepsy isn't photosensitive, and strobe lights can irritate the brain enough to cause abnormal activity but only in people who have a seizure disorder.
All my EEG showed when I had it was that I can pretty easily go in to a meditative state, and the MRI was clean. That happens in 40% of epileptics, the neuro told me.
Even if they were isolated incidents with no underlying disorder, even having one grand mal pretty much fucks the wiring of your brain permanently.
Yeah it was so sad, my friend kept on losing more and more of her memory. It got so bad she wouldn't remember shit that happened a month earlier.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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