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Anonymous #1

How to come out of the closet?
    #14154137 - 03/20/11 02:17 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Okay so I know this is most likely the worst place to be asking this but it is the only public forum I belong to. I really want to come out but I am deathly afraid of the feedback from my friends and family. As alot of my close friends would start to act really weird around me. Any tips or helpful notes?


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Offlineargg
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #14154171 - 03/20/11 02:23 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

if the door is stuck have you tried calling a locksmith?


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OfflineAzure Essence
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: argg]
    #14154199 - 03/20/11 02:27 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Who cares kid? What the fuck about your friends and family's thoughts make you who you are? Just go off and be gay, if they're too fucking dense to figure it out, then fine, if then figure it out and have a problem, guess what, they arent your friends.

If you start dating guys and it seems apparently obvious, and nothing happens, then fine, great.

But why do you have to validate yourself and put it into their faces? Really, no one gives a fuck if you're gay, go fucking be gay.


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OfflineLeeHarvOz
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Azure Essence]
    #14154237 - 03/20/11 02:35 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

a female friend of mine since high school that known for years just came out to me and all of our other friends from back home the other day. None of us felt anything except happy for her and it wasn't at all weird for us as her friends, if anything the news added a good vibe to our little get together. shit im excited to have her be my wingman next time we go out.


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Offlinestranger_danger
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Azure Essence]
    #14154238 - 03/20/11 02:35 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)



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Offlinebarbaloot
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: stranger_danger]
    #14163000 - 03/22/11 03:11 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

An old flatmate of mine who was just divorced came out while he was living with me. He went to see a clinical psychologist who is gay and also an academic who researches sexuality. He recommended my flatmate a book called 'Loving someone gay' . The book looked really good when I read a bit, and it helped my flatmate accept himself. Check some reviews of it here.
http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Gay-Don-Clark/dp/0890878374


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OfflineJoolz
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: barbaloot]
    #14163008 - 03/22/11 03:16 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

The first part is worrying too much. We all base who we are (our egos) off of other people's opinions of us. If people smile and are friendly, we feel good and gain an ego boost, if people stone us we become depressed, and our self-esteem drops. The trick is to be your own person, TO BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE, and you are the only person who can say who you are.

If your friends recoil and give you hate, they aren't your friends, or at least not anymore. Part of friendship is accepting the changes that happen to people as they grow and expand.


--------------------
Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Joolz]
    #14163374 - 03/22/11 07:16 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

If they don't accept you then they are not truly your friends to start with.
You cannot live a lie just to please other people.
It will just eat away at you.


--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One


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OfflineMaharishi_2_U
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #14163465 - 03/22/11 08:01 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Everyone above has great advice!
I had (have) tons of VERY gay friends in Columbus oh, and many of them would give this advice
" hey (friends name here) I am gay "
that's it, there is no trick to it, really.
I am a pretty gruff looking farmer from the hills now, and when people see me hugging pretty gay men or short haired pixie cutie lesbians they know not what to thnk, and I like that.
Anyone who is uncomfortable or standoffish because you like cock/vag is not worth thier weight in solid waste.
Fly that fag flag hi!
I love you bro/sis
be well
bc


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InvisibleDoc_T
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Maharishi_2_U]
    #14163475 - 03/22/11 08:06 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

short haired pixie cutie lesbians




:heart::heartpump::heart:

Just sayin'.


--------------------
You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Maharishi_2_U]
    #14163488 - 03/22/11 08:13 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

boredcertified said:
Everyone above has great advice!
I had (have) tons of VERY gay friends in Columbus oh, and many of them would give this advice
" hey (friends name here) I am gay "
that's it, there is no trick to it, really.
I am a pretty gruff looking farmer from the hills now, and when people see me hugging pretty gay men or short haired pixie cutie lesbians they know not what to thnk, and I like that.
Anyone who is uncomfortable or standoffish because you like cock/vag is not worth thier weight in solid waste.
Fly that fag flag hi!
I love you bro/sis
be well
bc




--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One


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OfflineValafar
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #14164683 - 03/22/11 01:38 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

As everyone has been saying if your friends get upset or freak out that your gay there not really your friends! Be who you are man and live your life how you want!


--------------------
"Tolling for the searching ones, on their speechless, seeking trail
For the lonesome-hearted lovers with too personal a tale
And for each unharmful, gentle soul misplaced inside a jail
And we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing"


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OfflineAzure Essence
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Cyclohexylamine] * 1
    #14164732 - 03/22/11 01:47 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

tymoteusz3 said:
If they don't accept you then they are not truly your friends to start with.
You cannot live a lie just to please other people.
It will just eat away at you.




I already said the first part, but the second part isnt true, because it's not like youre living a lie. You dont need any explanation for your actions.

I'm a bisexual and none but the most perceptive of my friends and family realize that. Not because I hide it, because I dont, but because I dont have to go shove some useless, irrelevant fact down their throat in some misguided, retarded display of 'who i am'

If someone wants to ask me about it(as they have before) I am completely open and honest, but until then, who cares. IT's not anyone's business but yours, and if anyone really says anything, just say, "Should you be spending more time worrying about your own life than someone else's?"


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OfflineBeverageFace
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Azure Essence]
    #14164907 - 03/22/11 02:20 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

id actually suggest what most people here about just coming out.

i'd say you'd be better off talking to your closest friends and family first, if you think they may be taken back by it. that way they kind of get eased into it.

if you just come out all of the sudden, some people may take it badly at first, and say/feel something they later regret.

might be easier on yourself too, to only come out to some people, then others.

let us know what you do.

i've never known anyone who came out, who i didnt know was gay already, so not sure what your friends will think.


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Anonymous #2

Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: BeverageFace]
    #14212918 - 03/31/11 01:00 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Having come out myself under extreme emotional pressure, I suggest coming out to a counselor or to a family member you feel loves you the most. From there, take it a step at a time. Maybe your friends already know? If not, and they start acting weird, they aren't your friends at all and don't deserve to be around you. Those friends who love and accept you when you tell them, they are your real friends and they will understand. My closest friends know, and they are guys, as I am also a guy and they love me just as much as they did before I told them. They think I'm awesome in every way. Just don't rub it in your friends face that you're gay, just be honest, be yourself.


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OfflineBrugman
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Azure Essence]
    #14537341 - 05/30/11 07:11 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Azure Essence said:
Who cares kid? What the fuck about your friends and family's thoughts make you who you are? Just go off and be gay, if they're too fucking dense to figure it out, then fine, if then figure it out and have a problem, guess what, they arent your friends.

If you start dating guys and it seems apparently obvious, and nothing happens, then fine, great.

But why do you have to validate yourself and put it into their faces? Really, no one gives a fuck if you're gay, go fucking be gay.




This is what I did. I didn't feel the need to tell everyone "hey, I'm gay". I just be myself, and if they figure it out, fine.

I haven't lost any friends so far, lol.


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InvisibleshLong
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Azure Essence]
    #14540976 - 05/31/11 02:41 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

They probably already know.

Quote:

Azure Essence said:
Just go off and be gay, if they're too fucking dense to figure it out, then fine, if then figure it out and have a problem, guess what, they arent your friends.






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OfflineBipolarbear
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Doc_T]
    #14542451 - 05/31/11 08:08 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Doc_T said:
Quote:

short haired pixie cutie lesbians




:heart::heartpump::heart:

Just sayin'.







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Offlinenickynack338
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Bipolarbear]
    #14551341 - 06/02/11 03:18 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I came out about a year ago, and it was both the hardest thing I have ever done as well as the best choice i ever made. I came out gradually, first to my parents who, even though i KNEW would be completely okay with it, doing this was really hard. After my parents a few months passed and i decided to tell one of my friends. I told a girl who i wasn't very close with but who I knew would be okay with it. Me and her are now best friends. After that, i just slowly came out to my close friends (which was also hard) then everyone ells.
One thing i recommend is coming out over texting or instant message. Doing this not only is easier on you but also on the person you're coming out too. This can also be stressful for the person who is being told. If their not 10000% okay with homosexuality or have not thought about it a lot, might need some time to gather their thoughts.
Honestly, coming out was the best thing i have ever done and after i did, all that pressure is gone and I could live with out hiding.


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OfflineXUL
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: nickynack338]
    #14551385 - 06/02/11 03:27 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

nickynack338 said:
I came out about a year ago, and it was both the hardest thing I have ever done as well as the best choice i ever made. I came out gradually, first to my parents who, even though i KNEW would be completely okay with it, doing this was really hard. After my parents a few months passed and i decided to tell one of my friends. I told a girl who i wasn't very close with but who I knew would be okay with it. Me and her are now best friends. After that, i just slowly came out to my close friends (which was also hard) then everyone ells.
One thing i recommend is coming out over texting or instant message. Doing this not only is easier on you but also on the person you're coming out too. This can also be stressful for the person who is being told. If their not 10000% okay with homosexuality or have not thought about it a lot, might need some time to gather their thoughts.
Honestly, coming out was the best thing i have ever done and after i did, all that pressure is gone and I could live with out hiding.






Were you born gay or did you one day just start liking the same sex?


Since the other thread is fired up I thought I would ask.


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Offlinenickynack338
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: XUL]
    #14551599 - 06/02/11 04:11 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

XUL said:
Quote:

nickynack338 said:
I came out about a year ago, and it was both the hardest thing I have ever done as well as the best choice i ever made. I came out gradually, first to my parents who, even though i KNEW would be completely okay with it, doing this was really hard. After my parents a few months passed and i decided to tell one of my friends. I told a girl who i wasn't very close with but who I knew would be okay with it. Me and her are now best friends. After that, i just slowly came out to my close friends (which was also hard) then everyone ells.
One thing i recommend is coming out over texting or instant message. Doing this not only is easier on you but also on the person you're coming out too. This can also be stressful for the person who is being told. If their not 10000% okay with homosexuality or have not thought about it a lot, might need some time to gather their thoughts.
Honestly, coming out was the best thing i have ever done and after i did, all that pressure is gone and I could live with out hiding.






Were you born gay or did you one day just start liking the same sex?


Since the other thread is fired up I thought I would ask.



With out a doubt in my mind I was born gay. My parents said they knew i was gay by the time i was 7. As well as my brothers and sister. When i came out to them they told me they knew for awhile and were perfectly fine with it. I first thought i was bi because i knew for a fact that i liked men but I didn't want to admit to myself that i was 100% gay. I had girlfriends and i thought they were nice but I never wanted to do anything sexual with them.


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