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Anonymous #1
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How to come out of the closet?
#14154137 - 03/20/11 02:17 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Okay so I know this is most likely the worst place to be asking this but it is the only public forum I belong to. I really want to come out but I am deathly afraid of the feedback from my friends and family. As alot of my close friends would start to act really weird around me. Any tips or helpful notes?
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argg
Stranger


Registered: 07/20/09
Posts: 4,848
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Anonymous #1] 2
#14154171 - 03/20/11 02:23 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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if the door is stuck have you tried calling a locksmith?
--------------------
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Azure Essence


Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 8,272
Loc:
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: argg]
#14154199 - 03/20/11 02:27 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Who cares kid? What the fuck about your friends and family's thoughts make you who you are? Just go off and be gay, if they're too fucking dense to figure it out, then fine, if then figure it out and have a problem, guess what, they arent your friends.
If you start dating guys and it seems apparently obvious, and nothing happens, then fine, great.
But why do you have to validate yourself and put it into their faces? Really, no one gives a fuck if you're gay, go fucking be gay.
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LeeHarvOz
Homie


Registered: 10/13/10
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Azure Essence]
#14154237 - 03/20/11 02:35 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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a female friend of mine since high school that known for years just came out to me and all of our other friends from back home the other day. None of us felt anything except happy for her and it wasn't at all weird for us as her friends, if anything the news added a good vibe to our little get together. shit im excited to have her be my wingman next time we go out.
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stranger_danger
psychonaut



Registered: 02/24/11
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Azure Essence]
#14154238 - 03/20/11 02:35 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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barbaloot
Stranger



Registered: 05/04/09
Posts: 120
Loc: Australia
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An old flatmate of mine who was just divorced came out while he was living with me. He went to see a clinical psychologist who is gay and also an academic who researches sexuality. He recommended my flatmate a book called 'Loving someone gay' . The book looked really good when I read a bit, and it helped my flatmate accept himself. Check some reviews of it here. http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Gay-Don-Clark/dp/0890878374
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Joolz


Registered: 09/19/10
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Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: barbaloot]
#14163008 - 03/22/11 03:16 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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The first part is worrying too much. We all base who we are (our egos) off of other people's opinions of us. If people smile and are friendly, we feel good and gain an ego boost, if people stone us we become depressed, and our self-esteem drops. The trick is to be your own person, TO BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE, and you are the only person who can say who you are.
If your friends recoil and give you hate, they aren't your friends, or at least not anymore. Part of friendship is accepting the changes that happen to people as they grow and expand.
-------------------- Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Joolz]
#14163374 - 03/22/11 07:16 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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If they don't accept you then they are not truly your friends to start with. You cannot live a lie just to please other people. It will just eat away at you.
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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Maharishi_2_U
Opt Out Super Fag


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 6,316
Loc: The Streets
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Everyone above has great advice! I had (have) tons of VERY gay friends in Columbus oh, and many of them would give this advice " hey (friends name here) I am gay " that's it, there is no trick to it, really. I am a pretty gruff looking farmer from the hills now, and when people see me hugging pretty gay men or short haired pixie cutie lesbians they know not what to thnk, and I like that. Anyone who is uncomfortable or standoffish because you like cock/vag is not worth thier weight in solid waste. Fly that fag flag hi! I love you bro/sis be well bc
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Doc_T
Random Dude




Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Maharishi_2_U]
#14163475 - 03/22/11 08:06 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
short haired pixie cutie lesbians
  
Just sayin'.
-------------------- You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Maharishi_2_U]
#14163488 - 03/22/11 08:13 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
boredcertified said: Everyone above has great advice! I had (have) tons of VERY gay friends in Columbus oh, and many of them would give this advice " hey (friends name here) I am gay " that's it, there is no trick to it, really. I am a pretty gruff looking farmer from the hills now, and when people see me hugging pretty gay men or short haired pixie cutie lesbians they know not what to thnk, and I like that. Anyone who is uncomfortable or standoffish because you like cock/vag is not worth thier weight in solid waste. Fly that fag flag hi! I love you bro/sis be well bc
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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Valafar
Striking for the gentle



Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 155
Loc: Vermont/Maine
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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As everyone has been saying if your friends get upset or freak out that your gay there not really your friends! Be who you are man and live your life how you want!
-------------------- "Tolling for the searching ones, on their speechless, seeking trail For the lonesome-hearted lovers with too personal a tale And for each unharmful, gentle soul misplaced inside a jail And we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing"
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Azure Essence


Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 8,272
Loc:
Last seen: 7 months, 5 days
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Quote:
tymoteusz3 said: If they don't accept you then they are not truly your friends to start with. You cannot live a lie just to please other people. It will just eat away at you.
I already said the first part, but the second part isnt true, because it's not like youre living a lie. You dont need any explanation for your actions.
I'm a bisexual and none but the most perceptive of my friends and family realize that. Not because I hide it, because I dont, but because I dont have to go shove some useless, irrelevant fact down their throat in some misguided, retarded display of 'who i am'
If someone wants to ask me about it(as they have before) I am completely open and honest, but until then, who cares. IT's not anyone's business but yours, and if anyone really says anything, just say, "Should you be spending more time worrying about your own life than someone else's?"
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BeverageFace
Beer Baron


Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 216
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Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Azure Essence]
#14164907 - 03/22/11 02:20 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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id actually suggest what most people here about just coming out.
i'd say you'd be better off talking to your closest friends and family first, if you think they may be taken back by it. that way they kind of get eased into it.
if you just come out all of the sudden, some people may take it badly at first, and say/feel something they later regret.
might be easier on yourself too, to only come out to some people, then others.
let us know what you do.
i've never known anyone who came out, who i didnt know was gay already, so not sure what your friends will think.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: BeverageFace]
#14212918 - 03/31/11 01:00 AM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Having come out myself under extreme emotional pressure, I suggest coming out to a counselor or to a family member you feel loves you the most. From there, take it a step at a time. Maybe your friends already know? If not, and they start acting weird, they aren't your friends at all and don't deserve to be around you. Those friends who love and accept you when you tell them, they are your real friends and they will understand. My closest friends know, and they are guys, as I am also a guy and they love me just as much as they did before I told them. They think I'm awesome in every way. Just don't rub it in your friends face that you're gay, just be honest, be yourself.
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Brugman
antisobrietarian



Registered: 05/16/01
Posts: 15,887
Loc: the land up over
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
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Quote:
Azure Essence said: Who cares kid? What the fuck about your friends and family's thoughts make you who you are? Just go off and be gay, if they're too fucking dense to figure it out, then fine, if then figure it out and have a problem, guess what, they arent your friends.
If you start dating guys and it seems apparently obvious, and nothing happens, then fine, great.
But why do you have to validate yourself and put it into their faces? Really, no one gives a fuck if you're gay, go fucking be gay.
This is what I did. I didn't feel the need to tell everyone "hey, I'm gay". I just be myself, and if they figure it out, fine.
I haven't lost any friends so far, lol.
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shLong



Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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They probably already know.
Quote:
Azure Essence said: Just go off and be gay, if they're too fucking dense to figure it out, then fine, if then figure it out and have a problem, guess what, they arent your friends.
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Bipolarbear
Stranger with candy



Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 828
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Doc_T]
#14542451 - 05/31/11 08:08 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Doc_T said:
Quote:
short haired pixie cutie lesbians
  
Just sayin'.
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nickynack338
Explorer


Registered: 04/08/11
Posts: 24
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: Bipolarbear]
#14551341 - 06/02/11 03:18 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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I came out about a year ago, and it was both the hardest thing I have ever done as well as the best choice i ever made. I came out gradually, first to my parents who, even though i KNEW would be completely okay with it, doing this was really hard. After my parents a few months passed and i decided to tell one of my friends. I told a girl who i wasn't very close with but who I knew would be okay with it. Me and her are now best friends. After that, i just slowly came out to my close friends (which was also hard) then everyone ells. One thing i recommend is coming out over texting or instant message. Doing this not only is easier on you but also on the person you're coming out too. This can also be stressful for the person who is being told. If their not 10000% okay with homosexuality or have not thought about it a lot, might need some time to gather their thoughts. Honestly, coming out was the best thing i have ever done and after i did, all that pressure is gone and I could live with out hiding.
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XUL
OTD Janitor



Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
Loc: America
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Re: How to come out of the closet? [Re: nickynack338]
#14551385 - 06/02/11 03:27 PM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
nickynack338 said: I came out about a year ago, and it was both the hardest thing I have ever done as well as the best choice i ever made. I came out gradually, first to my parents who, even though i KNEW would be completely okay with it, doing this was really hard. After my parents a few months passed and i decided to tell one of my friends. I told a girl who i wasn't very close with but who I knew would be okay with it. Me and her are now best friends. After that, i just slowly came out to my close friends (which was also hard) then everyone ells. One thing i recommend is coming out over texting or instant message. Doing this not only is easier on you but also on the person you're coming out too. This can also be stressful for the person who is being told. If their not 10000% okay with homosexuality or have not thought about it a lot, might need some time to gather their thoughts. Honestly, coming out was the best thing i have ever done and after i did, all that pressure is gone and I could live with out hiding.
Were you born gay or did you one day just start liking the same sex?
Since the other thread is fired up I thought I would ask.
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