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OfflineWoah
Stranger
Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 75
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Anxiety and derealization
    #14132261 - 03/16/11 05:06 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Hello guys,
I've been very worried and I'm having alot of trouble with my mental state after a bad trip from truffles recently. It wasn't a big dose, about 13 grams, but from the start I had this bad feeling.

We were with a group of 5 people and while they were having fun and looking at things I put on the mask to avoid ruining their trip. Inside I felt worried for my sanity, having the feeling of completely loosing it. Although I never actually lost it.

The worst part was the comedown, for some reason it felt like I was tripping harder then at the peak, this was the same time my friend was starting to loose it also. The effects wore off and I relaxed, the rest of the evening went smoothly and great.

To the point, I had anxiety issues before. It all stems from one huge panic attack I had with weed, it progressed into my sober state. It gradually went away, but never completely.

After this it's gotten hell of a lot worse. The feeling of anxiety is constantly there, along with a terrifying feeling of being "detached" in some way, it's a feeling like I'm walking in a dream. I am sitting there and I'm talking yes, but it feels like I am trapped in this fog, I'm looking and feeling things through my mind rather then my eyes and body.

Today was the breaking point for me, after only 3 days of this feeling I've had enough, and tomorrow I'm going to tell the whole thing to my doctor.
I'm suspecting he is probably going to give me pills or something like that. But do those really help? I don't want to be a druggie or become "hooked" on them forever. Any help or info is much apreciated.

Edited by Woah (03/16/11 06:11 PM)

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Offlinelewisplanthead
blue-collar love


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 367
Loc: milk wood
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Anxiety and derealization [Re: Woah]
    #14134332 - 03/16/11 11:15 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I think what you need is time and not more drugs/pills from your doc. I don't think I can be much more help. Best of luck to you. You will get over this.

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OfflineMoxyOx
Grazin'

Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 1,439
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 2 months, 22 days
Re: Anxiety and derealization [Re: lewisplanthead]
    #14134559 - 03/16/11 11:58 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Avoid any and all drugs, even the ones the doctors may prescribe. As the above poster said, all you need is time. This happened to me when I had my first intense mushroom experience and it lingered with me, but I eventually overcame it and opened up into something stronger and better than before.

If you have the opportunity, fight a friend or someone who would be willing. When you're engaged in a threatening and physically frightening situation you won't be able to resort back into thought. You will be FORCED to stay in the present moment, and thats what I see your issue revolving around. You simply can't enjoy yourself in the present moment and constantly loop  into a forceful mania of fear.

Either fight, or pick up meditation. Learn how to enjoy staying in your body and be comfortable with yourself, stop worrying about others and herd mentality. Just let it come.

Hope this helped.


--------------------
No one behind, no one ahead.
The path the ancients cleared has closed.
And the other path, everyone's path,
easy and wide, goes nowhere.
I am alone and find my way.

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OfflineWoah
Stranger
Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 75
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: Anxiety and derealization [Re: MoxyOx]
    #14135305 - 03/17/11 05:19 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Well it's actually really hard and I'm stuck in this mental circle, if I keep active and thinking I will have this awfull feeling.

If I completely relax, I weird myself out for some reason and end up in panic attacks... I've tried meditation and such.

Ofcourse, it helps for the time being but the minute I completely let myself go and try to fall asleep, there it is. The sinking feeling, not being able to breathe and a feeling of despair and helplesness... :frown:

I don't know what else to do really, I feel exhausted, and emotianally drained because of all this. I even tried "accepting" the attacks and just sitting them out, but it comes to a point where it's so freaking terrifying that I just have to stand up and do something in order for it to go away.

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Offlinecircastes
Big Questions Small Head
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya Flag
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: Anxiety and derealization [Re: Woah]
    #14135588 - 03/17/11 07:49 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Learning to live in the present moment, to the extent that you experience a natural ecstasy, will solve lots and lots of problems for you.


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE

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OfflineWoah
Stranger
Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 75
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: Anxiety and derealization [Re: circastes]
    #14135761 - 03/17/11 08:54 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Alright, well I'll try. Also planning to excersize tonight see if that works for me, take my mind of things. I've cancled the doctor for now.

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InvisibleAlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 11,181
Loc: Solar Circuit
Re: Anxiety and derealization [Re: Woah]
    #14141365 - 03/18/11 02:40 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I think it's good that you cancelled the doctor. You can get through this and when you do it will be a breakthrough for life. Pills will never uproot the issue, just mask it and create a dependency. Reading your last post I can almost feel the kind of anxiety you're experiencing, to the point where you just can't take it anymore.. I've had a spell what I think is similar to yours,  while I was on mushrooms, and peaking I believed if I just completely relaxed, something would take over me, in a way it felt like if I let go something terrible would happen right behind my back.. But that was a long time ago, on 7g of cubensis. Nowadays I still experience fleeting anxiety but I work with it a little bit each day usually in combination with yoga.

You might have to take this step by step also. Let go a little everytime until you find yourself capable of transcending the breaking point. Get a blank journal and make notes of your sessions. Address surfacing issues and take them as they come without necessarily trying to interpret them. There is some truth to your feeling where waking life feels like a dream, because waking life is very much a dream. It's a waking REM cycle and just like in dreaming our subconscious stream continues to flow, projecting archetypes, memories, and symbols onto the retina of our mind's eye. Don't be afraid. Get to the root and confront your shadow, befriend it, become it, integrate it. You are your greatest fear.

Namaste!


--------------------

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OfflineWoah
Stranger
Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 75
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: Anxiety and derealization [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #14141824 - 03/18/11 06:44 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Thanks, I really like this reply. This is EXCACTLY how I feel.
To update on the situation, I talked to a family member who's profession is therapy.

And she believes it all stems from my first panic attack, which was horrible. I had no idea what it was and I can still remember the feeling to this day, thinking I'd spent my last few seconds on earth, sinking into a void, gasping for air, utterly convinced I was having a heart attack.

Since then I was having troubles with it, and the truffels just brought it up once more. She was saying: "What you experienced was a fear of death, which the primitive part of your brain will always remember" So whenever I get into that kind of situation my brain goes into hyper panic mode and I freak out. She suggested avoiding all stress, and to try herbs and such to relax.

I feel much better having talked about all this and coming close to the issue. :smile:

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