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InvisibleCognitive_Shift
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: irie.one]
    #14132919 - 03/16/11 07:04 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Yep.  Some people don't want a relationship with a person, they like they idea of being with that person.

For example my parents love me, but the FUCKING HATE me... or at least that's what they tell me:shrug:


--------------------
L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs

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InvisibleRaven Gnosis
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: irie.one]
    #14133076 - 03/16/11 07:30 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

irie.one said:
I can agree completely with that statement. A couple months ago I got out of a two year relationship with my first love, someone who I thought I could be with forever. After a long time to reflect on the positives and negatives of the relationship, I started to realize what I loved wasn't her as much as having a relationship with her. Our relationship ended because we loved eachother so much that we never had moments apart except when work or class got in the way. For two years we were completely inseparable. A relationship like that strips someone from their former identity and the addiction of love keeps the truth from showing it's ugly head. Well, eventually it did and we realized that we were just stuck in the same routine... I go to work, class, come home and we talk about our day, smoke a bowl, make dinner and lay in bed, wake up the next day and do it again. We had no variation and even if we wanted it we realized how our love had turned us into creatures of habit and we would never be able to grow as individuals as long as we stayed in the relationship.

As much as it sucked, looking back it was such a good decision. In the last couple of months I've been able to create my own identity again, and explore every possible method of making me the happiest I can be without relying on someone else to make me happy. I don't have to worry about someone else's feelings ruining my day as it always happened before, because I wasn't capable of being in a good mood of my love was upset about something.

I still love the girl but it's a different kind of love. It's more like I care about her in a way that I would still do anything for her, because we shared some amazing experiences during that stage of my life. She showed me some of the happiest moments I've had in my life so far and showed me that I am capable of loving another human, and what an amazing feeling it is. I owe her a lot for that, for the rest of my life. I also owe her for showing me what I don't want in a relationship, and how a relationship can't be successful without two individuals who love themselves just as much as they love one another. I know what I'm looking for, and I think I'll have a better judgment on finding "the one" and what true love is supposed to feel like.

Love has to be a balance of everything in life and if it isn't, something like the relationship that I was in will happen and that imbalance will throw everything off in the long run. The biggest thing I've learned is to focus on who I am as an individual above and beyond all else, and that if I notice myself in a relationship that drastically changes who I am as a person an my personal beliefs, that it's one to get out of. Even if there is love. Love doesnt mean comparability or indefinite companionship, I didn't realize that until recently. That alone is one of the most important lessons the last couple of years has taught me.




:psychsplit:Wow, I'm able to relate with this, word for word... No exaggeration. It was my first love too that I am able to relate this with. I applaud and respect your ability to have learned what you did, you're a better man for it in the end.:congrats:


--------------------
To be human is to be fettered, to endure what one is, in perpetuum, no matter what the debility or perversity.

Edited by Raven Gnosis (03/16/11 07:32 PM)

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Offlinedurantz
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: Icelander] * 1
    #14134353 - 03/16/11 11:18 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Icelander said:
Quote:

Brainstem said:
So do you disagree with the quote ?, or would you say that any negativity associated with 'love' doesn't come from unconditional love, but a relationship built on fools gold ?  I would also add that positive and negative are subjective, but still influential.




yup and I agree that unconditional love is a myth.  What most people call love is the height of selfishness imo. That includes all the stories of love posted here so far.




Don't worry, I love you Icelander! :P

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Offlinetyler_0_durden
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: Icelander]
    #14134599 - 03/17/11 12:07 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Icelander said:
Quote:

Brainstem said:
So do you disagree with the quote ?, or would you say that any negativity associated with 'love' doesn't come from unconditional love, but a relationship built on fools gold ?  I would also add that positive and negative are subjective, but still influential.




yup and I agree that unconditional love is a myth.




What would be unconditional love anyway?

If it means dying for the other person, isn't that still going to affect them negatively if it happens?

Is that just Darwinism there or could one actually willingly die for something more?


--------------------
"As a man who has devoted his whole life to the most clear headed science, to the study of matter, I can tell you as a result of my research about atoms this much: There is no matter as such. All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind. This mind is the matrix of all matter."  --Max Planck

Edited by tyler_0_durden (03/17/11 12:09 AM)

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Invisibleirie.one
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: Raven Gnosis]
    #14134618 - 03/17/11 12:12 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Raven Gnosis said:
:psychsplit:Wow, I'm able to relate with this, word for word... No exaggeration. It was my first love too that I am able to relate this with. I applaud and respect your ability to have learned what you did, you're a better man for it in the end.:congrats:




:respect:. Glad to hear it, I have a feeling it's something a lot of us can relate to. I can't say that it was easy to make a realization of all of those lessons; heartbreak is one of the worst situations I've ever been in. But I really have grown so much and am glad to have experienced it looking back, I feel so much better off for life because of it.


--------------------
gettin' high to balance out the lows

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InvisiblePoid
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #14134760 - 03/17/11 12:59 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Raven Gnosis said:
I'm assuming you guys are single?
I'm also assuming you guys may hold an unrealistic overly lofty ideal of love?:shrug:


I am single, and I don't have an unrealistic ideal of love.


Quote:

Cognitive_Shift said:
Quote:

Poid said:
I've noticed that they're polar opposites. :shrug2:



Not polar opposites.


IME they are. :shrug:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: Poid]
    #14134881 - 03/17/11 01:32 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Poid said:
Quote:

Raven Gnosis said:
I'm assuming you guys are single?
I'm also assuming you guys may hold an unrealistic overly lofty ideal of love?:shrug:


I am single, and I don't have an unrealistic ideal of love.




How would you know if your ideal is unrealistic until you've actually experienced love, though?


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Offlineandrewss
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: deCypher] * 1
    #14134905 - 03/17/11 01:38 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





:



--------------------
Jesus loves you.

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InvisiblePoid
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: deCypher]
    #14134908 - 03/17/11 01:39 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

deCypher said:
Quote:

Poid said:
Quote:

Raven Gnosis said:
I'm assuming you guys are single?
I'm also assuming you guys may hold an unrealistic overly lofty ideal of love?:shrug:


I am single, and I don't have an unrealistic ideal of love.




How would you know if your ideal is unrealistic until you've actually experienced love, though?



I never said I haven't experienced it.



Quote:

andrewss said:
EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





:




STOP FUCKING YELLING!!!


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: Poid] * 1
    #14134911 - 03/17/11 01:40 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Gotcha.  Also, Haddaway for the win.  :lol:


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Offlineandrewss
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: Poid]
    #14134922 - 03/17/11 01:43 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Poid said:
STOP FUCKING YELLING!!!






calm down, man :wexican:


Quote:

Poid said:
Quote:

deCypher said:
Quote:

Poid said:
Quote:

Raven Gnosis said:
I'm assuming you guys are single?
I'm also assuming you guys may hold an unrealistic overly lofty ideal of love?:shrug:


I am single, and I don't have an unrealistic ideal of love.




How would you know if your ideal is unrealistic until you've actually experienced love, though?



I never said I haven't experienced it.





but really... what is love? its just a fucking word, man...

it has so many aspects yall... but mostly it is about:

:mattz:


--------------------
Jesus loves you.

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InvisiblePoid
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: andrewss]
    #14134952 - 03/17/11 01:56 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Love, IME, is an extremely blissful feeling that you experience when thinking about or are in the presence of your love-object. :bliss:


But yeah, it's mostly about buttsecks. :doggystyle:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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Offlineandrewss
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: Poid]
    #14134973 - 03/17/11 02:03 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

love is a trifecta, brah


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Jesus loves you.

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InvisiblePoid
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: andrewss]
    #14134980 - 03/17/11 02:05 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I got trifected with a plethora of STDs when I made love to an Arabian transsexual hooker. :osama:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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Offlineandrewss
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: Poid] * 1
    #14134983 - 03/17/11 02:08 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)



--------------------
Jesus loves you.

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InvisiblePoid
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: andrewss]
    #14134998 - 03/17/11 02:14 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

That's the ticket!


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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Offlineandrewss
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: Poid] * 1
    #14135000 - 03/17/11 02:15 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

:osama:  approves


--------------------
Jesus loves you.

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InvisiblePoid
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: andrewss] * 1
    #14135019 - 03/17/11 02:21 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

:osama:, FTW! :bowdown:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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Offlinen.dangerously
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: tyler_0_durden]
    #14135353 - 03/17/11 05:54 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

tyler_0_durden said:
Quote:

Icelander said:
Quote:

Brainstem said:
So do you disagree with the quote ?, or would you say that any negativity associated with 'love' doesn't come from unconditional love, but a relationship built on fools gold ?  I would also add that positive and negative are subjective, but still influential.




yup and I agree that unconditional love is a myth.




What would be unconditional love anyway?

If it means dying for the other person, isn't that still going to affect them negatively if it happens?

Is that just Darwinism there or could one actually willingly die for something more?




Pretty sure unconditional love is love without conditions. You know, how a mother (should, anyway) feel for her child. As in, no matter what that child does in/with its life, she will love it no matter what. I don't think dying is one of the requirements.

Yes, one can willingly die for someone/thing they love. One should be prepared to even. .

Love exists. Though, it's chemical, just like just about everything else going on in your head-meat.

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: " Love will tear us apart " [Re: tyler_0_durden]
    #14135880 - 03/17/11 09:30 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

What would be unconditional love anyway?

Total acceptance of everything that is the other or the self or that is in the world.  No clinging, no attachments, no judgements, no pushing, no pulling. You don't have to die for anyone but yourself.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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