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HeaDiEs RusH
Stranger
Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 116
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
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a strange "phobia" after using salvia
#14133327 - 03/16/11 08:13 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I put phobia in quotes because I don't actually consider it a phobia in a true sense of the word. I just have this kind of "realization" that I can get stuck in an eternal loop. What I mean is that I can just become suspended in time, with no way out. Basically, time would stop and I would be frozen in time as well, only I would be aware of it.
Now, I know as well as the next guy that this is completely crazy and not really possible, but I have learned from saliva that reality is all in your head. When I tripped I was stuck in a loop with no escape for my body or my mind. It was the worst feeling of helplessness and blind confusion, and it really shook me to the core. And now I've always had this slight fear that it may happen again.
And to make things weirder, it actually has happened to me on a couple occasions but it was always very brief I was either high or tripping. It usually lasts a couple of heartbeats but its enough to make me sit back and go "whoa there it was again."
Idk not much of a point to this story, I just wanted to share it. Maybe you guys have had similar experiences with saliva, and if so, go ahead and share them.
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Crono
inexperienced


Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 54
Loc: South
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: HeaDiEs RusH]
#14133369 - 03/16/11 08:19 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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How long ago was your trip? With time it should ease up. I felt much the same after my breakthrough. Some other things have triggered a similar feeling since too, i'll be tripping and ask,like how long have I been here? am i here (some end of time place)waiting on myself to figure it out? Really weird. Just know that there is certainly something out there bigger than life itself. That each moment is like a note or image and is in a way stuck. Seems maybe you were caught between being the story book and trying to be something else. Salvia is strong strong stuff. Return with regular leaf and quid if you are desiring to go back and smooth things out a bit.
-------------------- “Not being tense but ready. Not thinking but not dreaming. Not being set but flexible. Liberation from the uneasy sense of confinement. It is being wholly and quietly alive, aware and alert, ready for whatever may come.” - Bruce Lee
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,847
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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: Crono]
#14133571 - 03/16/11 08:51 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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the sense of time which is created by the sequence of moments passing is affected by the degree of stonedness. stonedness causes moments to fade more slowly (persistence)
when moments fade more slowly they overlap. if you are really stoned, the overlapping of moments affects the experience of time such that you can experience one moment lasting for the duration of up to 4 or 5 seconds.
during that prolonged fading moment about 45 more discreet moments (approx 1/15th second each) will have arisen and will still be fading slowly.
you can scramble to the last of these and then back to the first before any of them have faded - then the later ones will roll on in consciousness, effectively looping
not just that, the act of getting looped can now persist for up to 5 seconds more.
watching how stoned fading moments persist and overlap can be pleasurable as with trails and echoes or lovely sensations.
even when really stoned it can be amazing, and even if you meet yourself completely calved off of the main time line, you need not be alarmed.
longer fading moments are the norm when stoned. you just need to make friends with that effect, it is the core to all psychedelic phenomena.
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_ 🧠 _
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Synth Ethics
substitution


Registered: 05/18/09
Posts: 5,525
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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: HeaDiEs RusH]
#14133624 - 03/16/11 08:58 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
HeaDiEs RusH said: When I tripped I was stuck in a loop with no escape for my body or my mind. It was the worst feeling of helplessness and blind confusion, and it really shook me to the core.
I might know how you felt, I've had the ugliest bad trip of my life while on salvia. check how it went down: me and my ex-girl were somking some salvia but then we decided to take a huge hit so I packed the bong full and took the biggest hit of (20-30x) salvia I could, but right after I exhaled it his father bursted in her room talking bullshit and whatnot. it kind of made me forgot I had taken an olympic hit as i started tripping like i never did, soon I was in a tunnel of faded repetition of my surounding, everything was gone except that tunnel experiencing the greatest fear and "disempowerment?" I ever felt. all that was going in my mind was; find your girlfriend she'll help you and I finally find her and focused on her, it really helped me. As I came down I had sweated so much I had to change ALL of my clothes, no jokes. I asked her if I was banned from her father house because of my behavior, she told me that her father didn't noticed a thing as I was just laying still in my chair pokerfaced all the time.
LOL
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gabbaganchi
version 4.3


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 590
Loc: Great Plains
Last seen: 11 years, 13 days
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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: Synth Ethics]
#14133924 - 03/16/11 09:57 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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holy shit. salvia slammed me backward through the floor and sent me spinning on a machine wheel in a factory that was making identical layers of reality spinning on a wheel (which i saw as the scene before my eyes "flipping up" rapidly.) after i came down, sensation of spinning triangles in my skin and the sense that just behind everything is terrible frozen void, which sent me into a 30 minute bleak black depression, and got me down for several days after it made me feel 'phobic' as well
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mikeisapro
Pro
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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: gabbaganchi]
#14134214 - 03/16/11 10:54 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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The first time I broke through on salvia was exhilarating. I saw these green carpet-like patterns (they seemed fuzzy) folding into each other and towards the right continuously. As the folding was happening I began to hear chanting that was synchronized with the folding. Something like "Ev-ry-thing-is-so-pee-con-tay-an-ev-ry-thing-is-so-pi-con-an" is this strained, voice. I began to not just see this vision, but experience it, I was it. There was horror. I felt as if that is all life is, and all life ever was and will ever be. Then when I came folding back into normal, I felt the most profound bliss I could ever imagine. I immediately got off the couch and went outside in the rain. The rain felt amazing. It wonderful just to be alive. I was still tripping a little, the world was tilting to the right. But as far as I was concerned I wasn't tripping anymore, I was back to reality and I loved it more than I ever have.
Then I took a shower. I felt so refreshed. New. Like a Christian should feel when he supposedly gets "reborn".
E: kinda got carried away explaining the trip but my point I know exactly how you feel
-------------------- Life without drugs lacks substance(s).
Edited by mikeisapro (03/16/11 10:56 PM)
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HeaDiEs RusH
Stranger
Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 116
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: gabbaganchi]
#14135272 - 03/17/11 05:00 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
gabbaganchi said: holy shit. salvia slammed me backward through the floor and sent me spinning on a machine wheel in a factory that was making identical layers of reality spinning on a wheel (which i saw as the scene before my eyes "flipping up" rapidly.) after i came down, sensation of spinning triangles in my skin and the sense that just behind everything is terrible frozen void, which sent me into a 30 minute bleak black depression, and got me down for several days after it made me feel 'phobic' as well
I like how all of you guys described your trips because that is how I've always described mine to people as well. I quoted gabbaganchi because of the way he or she described it as reality spinning on a wheel, which is essentially what my trip was as well. And for me, the hardest part wasn't the full blown trip, it was the process of coming down. Because what happened was within those little strands of reality that were spiraling around me I began to make out the faces of my two close friends who I was sitting next to. Their heads were spinning around me and looping as well and I saw at least 50 copies if each of their heads as they wound along the strands of reality. That part of the trip was the worst because that was the first time that I even realized that I was tripping or knew what a mother is, what sunlight is, that planets exist etc. I mean its hard to explain, but had simply lost all concept of myself or life in general. I had quite literally been consumed by the trip. And when I saw my friends faces I immediately wanted to return to reality and then I began this strange minutes long period (according to my friends who watched me freak out as I cried out in desperation) where I was returning to reality, but then being "pulled" back down into enternity. My mind was essentially being split in half, but every time I resurfaced in reality the pull from the trip got weaker and weaker. Until I was finally able to stand up and walk across the room trying to fight off the feeling the being yanked back into the trip. The tug wasn't down or to the side, it was more of in a twist, like every second or so my vision would lunge in a circular way.
Anyways, that was really long, but yea that's a pretty good description of my trip.
Edited by HeaDiEs RusH (03/17/11 05:01 AM)
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gabbaganchi
version 4.3


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 590
Loc: Great Plains
Last seen: 11 years, 13 days
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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: HeaDiEs RusH]
#14140457 - 03/17/11 11:15 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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that actually sounds exactly like what happened to me... right after my hit i felt extremely fucked up for a second, i was looking at my friends brother and his gf, then the scene "sucked down" and it was some kind of blackout period... and i too was seeing their faces "layer" as i came back in i was desperately trying to explain something to them, but i couldn't even comprehend where i was
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1tokeovrtheline
life=painfully beautiful



Registered: 04/12/10
Posts: 866
Loc: innerverse&universe, surrealis...
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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: gabbaganchi]
#14140878 - 03/18/11 12:26 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Last time I smoked salvia I completely blacked out and that freaked me out so I never did it again....ok maybe once or twice lol, but still I quit it cuz I can't stand those dissociatives. No matter how hard I trip on anything else I trust that I'm going to be fairly responsible and in control, even dmt I know I won't run out into the street or something, but on shit like salvia...I don't know I could see myself at least just breaking something, and that just makes me uncomfortable. After it reached a point that I didn't remember 99.9% of the trip it just seemed like it wasn't at all worth the risk however big or small that might be.
Now I haven't really had any lasting problems from salvia, but STP and a big dose of mescaline with MAOIs (fuckin stupid idea) gave me some issues for a while, and I just quit for a while and tested the waters so to speak with weed, and when that was cool I started toking again and that really seemed to help "repair" my anxiety issues related to the stressful trip, after a few months I was feeling pretty good so I decided to do a couple grams of shrooms and it was such an amazing experience, it can really help mend those issues that may have arisen from a bad trip, so my advice is just give it a little time, ease your way back in and then have a good therapeutic trip with a tried and true, trusted drug of choice (for me that would be shrooms-mellow, gentle, dreamy, little chance IME for a bad trip, but it could be MDMA or DMT or whatever works best for you). IME that really "fixes" things
--------------------
Music, business as usual Mi' spliff and Guiness as usual Highgrade we puffin as usual Fight down the system as usual The system fight we down as usual The cops dem a watch we as usual And a we a watch the cops as usual
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tuesday
Stranger
Registered: 02/01/12
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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: HeaDiEs RusH]
#15747187 - 02/01/12 12:39 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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I created an account on this site solely to respond to this. Since I smoked salvia, I have also come to the same realization that I am absolutely terrified of being stuck in a never-ending loop. There is nothing listed for such a phobia, but I'm astonished that I have found someone who experienced the same thing I did.
I'd direct you to these links, as they are the only things I've found that elucidate the phenomenon even a little bit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_loop And, a rather accurate depiction of the fear:
But yes, I also came to understand the delicacy of reality, as it is completely subjective. And I realize this post is really old but I've literally been searching so extensively throughout the internet for some sort of reference point for this fear/experience and you sort of explained exactly what I was feeling. You're not alone! It's bat shit insanely scary! And I'd say it's also very unrealistic, but then this experience precludes the existence of conventional "reality" anyway, so perhaps it's more realistic than it's given credit for.
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VisionaryFlicker
Querulant



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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: HeaDiEs RusH]
#15747195 - 02/01/12 12:41 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
HeaDiEs RusH said: What I mean is that I can just become suspended in time, with no way out. Basically, time would stop and I would be frozen in time as well, only I would be aware of it.
I think I know EXACTLY what you mean, I had a very very similar experience on salvia. It reminded me of the Zeno´s paradox of Achilles And The Turle (look it up) but in practical reality.
-------------------- l'enfer c'est les autres
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Rexter
Tripper


Registered: 05/03/09
Posts: 10,047
Loc: Florida
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LOL salva is bizarro DMT
-------------------- new trade list my own WCA V: I "Ha! Marshall you're so funny man You should be a comedian, god damn!" Unfortunately I am I just hide behind the tears of a clown" Meteloides said: Stick to naturally occurring substances! Like Shrooms! And DMT! And Datura! And Amanita Phalloides! And Nutmeg! And Hemlock! That'll expand the shit out of your DNA.
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Seriously_Spaced
Psychedelic Lover



Registered: 10/11/10
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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: HeaDiEs RusH]
#15747463 - 02/01/12 01:53 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
HeaDiEs RusH said: I put phobia in quotes because I don't actually consider it a phobia in a true sense of the word. I just have this kind of "realization" that I can get stuck in an eternal loop. What I mean is that I can just become suspended in time, with no way out. Basically, time would stop and I would be frozen in time as well, only I would be aware of it.
Now, I know as well as the next guy that this is completely crazy and not really possible, but I have learned from saliva that reality is all in your head. When I tripped I was stuck in a loop with no escape for my body or my mind. It was the worst feeling of helplessness and blind confusion, and it really shook me to the core. And now I've always had this slight fear that it may happen again.
And to make things weirder, it actually has happened to me on a couple occasions but it was always very brief I was either high or tripping. It usually lasts a couple of heartbeats but its enough to make me sit back and go "whoa there it was again."
Idk not much of a point to this story, I just wanted to share it. Maybe you guys have had similar experiences with saliva, and if so, go ahead and share them.
One time i smoked salvia i was in this loop you speak of and i was tied to train tracks and ran over by a thousand foot train as i watched myself get ripped in half scary shit seemed to go on forever helpless blind and very very disconnected from my body
-------------------- All you need is love I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?-John Lennon I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people. -John Lennon Life is like a dang old rubix cube you get one side right you mess up the other-Boomhauer To do list-Ketamine , Mushrooms ,LSD :,Salvia ,DMT,DXM ,Cocaine ,2c-e ,Molly ,E ,MXE, 4-Aco-DMT, 25inbome ,6-APB and 5-meo-dalt
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pez1324
Stranger

Registered: 02/07/12
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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: HeaDiEs RusH]
#15830661 - 02/19/12 03:17 AM (12 years, 14 days ago) |
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I feel the same way! The only thing is that I kind of had an identity lost momentarily on one of my stronger trips and i had crazy thoughts and just mental visuals. I keep thinking is this really me controlling my body or is it just a pre-written life story and I'm just re-living it without ACTUAL control of what I do and think....alright well maybe its not the EXACT same but it's similar since I do get that feeling VERY randomly like the other day when I was in my history class, I started to get the thought for a few seconds...it's been about 2 months since the salvia thing and it hasn't affected any tripping adventure or pot smoking but still sucks to have it at random points It goes away after a while trust me!
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SleepAid
me gusta




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Re: a strange "phobia" after using salvia [Re: pez1324]
#15830718 - 02/19/12 03:48 AM (12 years, 14 days ago) |
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Quite an interesting plant isn't it 
I've never found salvia to be, a very 'user friendly' psychedelic, but an amazing exploratory tool.
the most interesting 'loop' I think I can share was living literally lifetime afer lifetime of different people (well, i mean, it was ME, just in a different body), starting in the 1800s, another I remember was in the 50's... Anyway, it was at least 20 people I remember cycling through, each incarnation literally lasting a lifetime or at least a couple years at a specific age group, day and night in and out of a normal life. When I finally came to myself I was blown the fuck away, not even 15 minutes had passed.
It was pretty insane hahaha. Very interesting plant indeed
-------------------- Signature this, ho
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