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InvisibleAliceDee
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girlfriend looked through my phone
    #14127178 - 03/15/11 08:40 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

so today when i get home from work my girlfriends "friend" had unlocked my phone and looked at my texts and came to to some texts that were semi-sexually explicit... however my girlfriend is the only person who knows my password for my phone so it was obviously her and not just some coincidence...  im just at a loss of words and have no idea what to even think.... ive never physically touched another girl while in a relationship with this woman but i see her point of view as i wouldnt want her making comments to other dudes...

i know i fucked up but what the fuck she's snooping though my phone... i dunno what to do at this point...:confused:


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InvisibleDoc_T
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: AliceDee]
    #14127193 - 03/15/11 08:42 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

You can't win this. Either accept it quietly or stand up and tell her off.


--------------------
You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?


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InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Doc_T]
    #14127258 - 03/15/11 08:53 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Doc_T said:
You can't win this. Either accept it quietly or stand up and tell her off.




Pretty much. She doesnt trust you, and now that shes discovered this its gonna get worse. You blew it...


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OfflineTreefeeler
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #14127297 - 03/15/11 09:01 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Yeah, it doesn't look like there's a big chance of this relationship getting salvaged.  Sorry man, but sometimes that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Once, my ex GF stole my phone and sent a mysterious text, I found out the next morning (after looking looking through) she was trying to set up a FFM threesome for us.  It didn't work out, but the finding/conversation instigated some lovely morning sex. 
She was just that awesome.


--------------------


With the exception of grammatical corrections, everything I say is completely false and without foundation.


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InvisibleAliceDee
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Treefeeler]
    #14127404 - 03/15/11 09:19 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

that was she said she was gonna do was "send a mysterious text" whatever that means.... my girlfriend and the girl i was texting are sworn enemies however... 

anyways going to the bar now...  :beer:  :undecided:


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OfflineTreefeeler
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: AliceDee]
    #14127429 - 03/15/11 09:24 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Lets all go to the bar  :irishtoast:


--------------------


With the exception of grammatical corrections, everything I say is completely false and without foundation.


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InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Treefeeler] * 1
    #14127438 - 03/15/11 09:25 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

:cheers:

Alcohol:

The cause of, and solution to all of lifes problems.


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OfflineAzure Essence
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #14128179 - 03/15/11 11:25 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Yeah, she looked thru your phone, but trust and respect is a 2 way street.

Whether she knew it or not, you STILL fucked up first and have no place to  be pissed at her. Sorry bro.


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Offlinewithoutawire
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Azure Essence]
    #14129180 - 03/16/11 05:01 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

As much as she should trust you, she obviously can't. If that was me I'd be over that shit fast and be done with it. Not worth the anxiety/stress.


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OfflineViveka
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: withoutawire]
    #14131619 - 03/16/11 03:04 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Wait, why should she trust him?


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OfflineAzure Essence
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Viveka]
    #14131937 - 03/16/11 03:59 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Well, she should have and not gone thru his phone, but she obviously picked up on something, so now she clearly shouldnt(which she suspected all along)..


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Azure Essence]
    #14131990 - 03/16/11 04:09 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

If I found out my girl friend went through my phone I would dump her immediately.

Both of your trust is gone, its going to be hard to rebuild.


--------------------
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Invisibleirie.one
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #14132962 - 03/16/11 07:14 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Been there, getting snooped on sucks. In my case it was an old phone with messages from a year ago that my ex got hung up on and I pointed out to her that shit that came before her can't be held against me and that it's fucked up to violate someone's privacy like that. She did it a couple more times through old pictures and other stuff. If I wasn't so blinded by love I would have called it quits on her, but I didn't. We both had reasons not to trust eachother, they didn't get in the way of things much but now that it's over, fuck that. Trust has to be there completely for a healthy relationship, it's a good thing this happened to you even though it might now feel like it right now.


--------------------
gettin' high to balance out the lows


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OfflineAzure Essence
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: irie.one]
    #14133011 - 03/16/11 07:21 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Love is about the shittiest thing that can happen to you sometimes


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OfflineZenXi6
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Azure Essence]
    #14133569 - 03/16/11 08:51 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Arrr... yeah, that can be problematic.  The worst is, when you don't give a shit about old texts / old pictures on your computer / old folders / etc...
And your girlfriend looks through, finds an old picture of you and the ex together or an old message or whatever and becomes upset about it...
(Unless they're nudie pics), this shouldn't be a problem, but it often is.  Humans have a tendency to get caught up and emotional about something from the past.. it's like your emotions can't quite interpret old data and realise that it's the new data that only matters.

But.. my question... why were you sending semi-sexual message to someone else?  Was it serious?  Can you explain and contextualise to her?


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We are the Divine Universe, Incarnate!


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Offlinedshow
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: ZenXi6]
    #14133640 - 03/16/11 09:01 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

ou can't win this. Either accept it quietly or stand up and tell her off.




Quote:

Pretty much. She doesnt trust you, and now that shes discovered this its gonna get worse. You blew it...



Quote:

Yeah, it doesn't look like there's a big chance of this relationship getting salvaged.  Sorry man, but sometimes that's the way the cookie crumbles.



Quote:

Whether she knew it or not, you STILL fucked up first and have no place to  be pissed at her. Sorry bro.




Quote:

As much as she should trust you, she obviously can't.



Quote:

Wait, why should she trust him?




Quote:

Both of your trust is gone, its going to be hard to rebuild.




and then your final answer!

Quote:

Love is about the shittiest thing that can happen to you sometimes





Everyone is giving you the truth. Say you were to try to build it up again, you and her will always have this idea in the back of the head asking the question... What if?.... Bro cut your losses. It doesnt work. It never will. Help her out too man. Dont be selfish. Say you did wrong and end it together, she deserves better.


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OfflineTreefeeler
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: dshow]
    #14133783 - 03/16/11 09:28 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Like a god damn quote orgy in up in here.


--------------------


With the exception of grammatical corrections, everything I say is completely false and without foundation.


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Offlinedshow
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Treefeeler]
    #14133790 - 03/16/11 09:31 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

yeaa budddy


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OfflineCynosure
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Treefeeler]
    #14135493 - 03/17/11 07:11 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Treefeeler said:
Like a god damn quote orgy in up in here.




Let me get a piece of ass!

:lol:

But to the OP, I'd say things can be forgiven.  While trust can be easily broken, it can also be rebuilt if the correct effort is put forth.  I'm unsure of how connected the two of you are, but if you both want this to work out it can happen.


--------------------
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OfflineLennyk
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Cynosure]
    #14135545 - 03/17/11 07:32 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Hmm, the last time a gal I knew was looking through my phone was the same day that I told her that since she is trying to grill me on the stand in this courtship, that she acquired the evidence through dishonest means and it is her that can apologize for violating my privacy or leave.

One of the reasons I tell gals I date that I don't care who they mess around with (as long as they don't bring diseases or babies around) because neither of us stick around just because we would be sexless if things are going downhill. We also don't end up feeling we owe each other anything if one had a rough week and the other is way to energized. The turning point in the relationships is usually-what, you are in favor of x or blah blah and argue our sides to a point where it becomes subjective or someone cannot see it the other way. Generally then we both become either a friend or a bootycall lol.


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Lennyk]
    #14136936 - 03/17/11 01:57 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

you know whats weird, I dont give a shit if my girlfriend looks through my computer or phone or anything, I got nothin to hide, am trustworthy and thus a boring person. But if I ever pick up her phone without asking, cause im just used to not asking permission for that kind of shit with the relationships ive had in my life, she kinda freaks out, and will take her phone back, or shut her computer quickly like shes got something to hide.

-OP - What was the content of the 'sexual' messages you were sending to other girls? Whether or not you were doing anything, this kind of content is probably off-bounds when you're in a relationship (probably, cause im not exactly sure what you sent).


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


Edited by ManianFH (03/20/11 02:37 PM)


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Offlineamilibertine
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: ManianFH]
    #14139541 - 03/17/11 09:16 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

mick said:
you know whats weird, I dont give a shit if my girlfriend looks through my computer or phone or anything, I got nothin to hide, am trustworthy and thus a boring person. But if I ever pick up her phone without asking, cause im just used to not asking permission for that kind of shit with the relationships ive had in my life, she kinda freaks out, and will take her phone back, or shut her computer quickly like shes got something to hide.

I dont know if shes got something to hide, or if shes secretive, or what. It makes me not really trust her fully though.


-OP - What was the content of the 'sexual' messages you were sending to other girls? Whether or not you were doing anything, this kind of content is probably off-bounds when you're in a relationship (probably, cause im not exactly sure what you sent).




Yea, I'd say she's got something to hide...or something she is embarrassed about. 

Either way that's not a innocent reaction.


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Offlinedshow
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: amilibertine]
    #14140365 - 03/17/11 10:59 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

But if I ever pick up her phone without asking, cause im just used to not asking permission for that kind of shit with the relationships ive had in my life, she kinda freaks out, and will take her phone back, or shut her computer quickly like shes got something to hide.

I dont know if shes got something to hide, or if shes secretive, or what. It makes me not really trust her fully though.




wow she just discovered another problem. Dude .. it is very CLEAR that she has something to hide. Your probabaly questioning and thinking back right now. Its time you open up your own thread, cuz some shit is not right.:shrug:


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OfflineAzure Essence
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: ManianFH]
    #14140622 - 03/17/11 11:41 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

mick said:
you know whats weird, I dont give a shit if my girlfriend looks through my computer or phone or anything, I got nothin to hide, am trustworthy and thus a boring person. But if I ever pick up her phone without asking, cause im just used to not asking permission for that kind of shit with the relationships ive had in my life, she kinda freaks out, and will take her phone back, or shut her computer quickly like shes got something to hide.

I dont know if shes got something to hide, or if shes secretive, or what. It makes me not really trust her fully though.


-OP - What was the content of the 'sexual' messages you were sending to other girls? Whether or not you were doing anything, this kind of content is probably off-bounds when you're in a relationship (probably, cause im not exactly sure what you sent).





Dude you're a fucking dense as shit pushover. She clearly is hiding shit


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: Azure Essence]
    #14141476 - 03/18/11 03:24 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I don't think so.

She has always been honest with me even at disadvantage to herself, and vice versa. She has told me she slept with people before when she could have lied (that situation we were separated, but still sleeping together, and I thought we were still being exclusive). There is no reason for someone in a relationship to want to hide their shit the way she does; I've never experienced that in a relationship before, but I don't think its because shes cheating. It just confuses me.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Offlinedshow
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: ManianFH]
    #14143360 - 03/18/11 02:00 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

hahaha whatever you say man ...


Quote:

(that situation we were separated, but still sleeping together, and I thought we were still being exclusive). There is no reason for someone in a relationship to want to hide their shit the way she does




lol wake up


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OfflineAzure Essence
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: ManianFH]
    #14144062 - 03/18/11 04:19 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

mick said:
I don't think so.

She has always been honest with me even at disadvantage to herself, and vice versa. She has told me she slept with people before when she could have lied (that situation we were separated, but still sleeping together, and I thought we were still being exclusive). There is no reason for someone in a relationship to want to hide their shit the way she does; I've never experienced that in a relationship before, but I don't think its because shes cheating. It just confuses me.




I didnt say shes cheating, she's just hiding things. Whatever it is, could be anyone's guess, but something is being hidden


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: dshow]
    #14145009 - 03/18/11 07:23 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

dshow said:
hahaha whatever you say man ...


Quote:

(that situation we were separated, but still sleeping together, and I thought we were still being exclusive). There is no reason for someone in a relationship to want to hide their shit the way she does




lol wake up





Wake up from what exactly dshow? What would your response be if this were your situation?

you never hide anything from anyone before? i hide shit all the time; I just dont expect it from the girl i call my gf. like this is some catastrophe that i should have been aware of and the world is falling apart and im the biggest fool for not being keen to it; gimme a break with that conjecture.

Doesnt mean shes an awful person whos hurting me behind my back.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Offlinedshow
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: ManianFH]
    #14145435 - 03/18/11 08:37 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Wake up from what exactly dshow? What would your response be if this were your situation?

you never hide anything from anyone before? i hide shit all the time; I just dont expect it from the girl i call my gf. like this is some catastrophe that i should have been aware of and the world is falling apart and im the biggest fool for not being keen to it; gimme a break with that conjecture.






True, she probably isnt awful. but Hiding is hiding. And hiding your phone is usually hiding someone.'
I didnt expect it from a girl that was my gf either. I thought oh she just doesnt leave her phone lying around anywhere ever. And ohh she probably deletes her texts all the time, thats why i never saw any texts when i checked her phone. Then i found out she was hiding something. Another guy. Only then it was too late, i got backstabbed by my friend, who was messing around with my girl.


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: dshow]
    #14145664 - 03/18/11 09:22 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Its better to have found out the ugly truth. The way I see it, it was never too late for you; a woman, and a 'friend' willing to do that, never worth it in the first place. It was only a matter of time before you learned better one way or another, even if it was what happened or something else down the line. That is something someone smart enough will figure out eventually. And if it happens, it happens, for you, me, anyone else.

I have every reason not to trust women with my past; cell phone crap not too different from this. But I'm pretty smart, pretty perceptive. I don't think it's as transparent as we assume sometimes. Who knows what this scenario is really all about.

Im rambling.

/threadkiller :lol:


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Offlinedshow
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Re: girlfriend looked through my phone [Re: ManianFH]
    #14149474 - 03/19/11 05:07 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

:sad:


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