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chodamunky
Cheers!
Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 2,030
Loc: sailing the seas of chees...
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Fade Proof and Resistant
#1409171 - 03/25/03 02:25 PM (21 years, 8 days ago) |
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The following is an old poem I dug up on my computer. it was written back in the days I was really confused (a few years ago) but I still find it amusing since some of the core emotions are still there. I wrote this after listening to Radiohead's "Fitter Happier" as you will see the obvious similarities in structure. Mind you, I'm not a great poet but hey, maybe this can start some discussion and we'll see where it goes.
Fade proof and resistant Happy Walk dog everyday (put shit in plastic bag) No more cafeteria food Trash thrown in its place Read a book now and then Drink 3 glasses of water everyday Drive a safer, cleaner car (no more parking in handicapped spaces) Will not talk during test Nice to teachers (be on time) Eat a healthy dinner with the family Smile to all friends Compliment Forgotten photos and memories of childhood Long to be different yet accepted Curious but scared Excited but short lived Will not color hair Will not wear labeled clothes No more judgement based on looks Fake ass people = vomit Want for things to change but helpless Alone and lost in my mind of mazes Sunshine screened through my only window Now rays of anger fill my heart Seems I can?t connect with this empty world, Shut my eyes and hope for no return (happy dreams that always end)
Fade proof and resistant.
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Sclorch
Clyster
Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
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Re: Fade Proof and Resistant [Re: chodamunky]
#1409924 - 03/25/03 07:55 PM (21 years, 8 days ago) |
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Fitter happier more productive comfortable not drinking too much Regular exercise at the gym 3 days a week Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries at ease Eating well no more microwave dinners and saturated fats A patient better driver a safer car baby smiling in back seat Sleeping well no bad dreams no paranoia Careful to all animals never washing spiders down the plughole Keep in contact with old friends, enjoy a drink now and then Will frequently check credit at moral bank, hole in wall Favors for favors, fond but not in love Charity standing orders on sundays ring road supermarket No killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants Car wash, also on sundays, no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows Nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate nothing so childish At a better pace, slower and more calculated, no chance of escape Now self-employed, concerned, but powerless An empowered and informed member of society, pragmatism not idealism Will not cry in public, less chance of illness, tires that grip in the wet Shot of baby strapped in back seat, a good memory still cries at a good film Still kisses with saliva, no longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick That's driven into frozen winter shit, the ability to laugh at weakness Calm fitter, healthier and more productive a pig in a cage on antibiotics
-------------------- Note: In desperate need of a cure...
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Sclorch
Clyster
Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
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Re: Fade Proof and Resistant [Re: chodamunky]
#1409929 - 03/25/03 07:58 PM (21 years, 8 days ago) |
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It's like Fitter Happier pt. 2
hehehehe
(I posted the original "Fitter Happier" lyrics so everyone can know what you're referring to... )
-------------------- Note: In desperate need of a cure...
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Sclorch
Clyster
Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
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Re: Fade Proof and Resistant [Re: Sclorch]
#1409942 - 03/25/03 08:08 PM (21 years, 8 days ago) |
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-={CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ::: CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM}=-
Will not wear labeled clothes
I'm anal about this^^^, but I have been since I was a child (my mother always brings it up... "blah blah blah when you were little you didn't like logos and tags on your clothing blah blah blah it reminds me of your uncle blah blah"... I don't know why.
Your poem seems like it's a bit jumbled... at parts it refers to the "pinks" (like in Radiohead's lyrics) at other parts it refers to [your "type" here]. I wish you could clean it up so it is directed ONLY at the less "normal" (read: not pink) people like ourselves. I don't like the pessimistic ending... but that's just me.
curious but scared
Who are you referring to here? I don't think they go together very well... sort of paradoxical- something I rarely see in "pinks".
Long to be different yet accepted
Same thing...
-------------------- Note: In desperate need of a cure...
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chodamunky
Cheers!
Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 2,030
Loc: sailing the seas of chees...
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Re: Fade Proof and Resistant [Re: Sclorch]
#1410598 - 03/26/03 05:36 AM (21 years, 8 days ago) |
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I would agree its a little jumbled and all over the place but that's sort of the way I was feeling back then, the piece is too incoherent for me to bother cleaning it up, its not like I can top Radiohead, Fitter Happier is brilliant work. The "curious but scared" part is referring to myself, how I wanted to discover new things but was afraid to actually dig in, more like beating around the bush.
can you explain what a "pink" is?
The last line came out more pessimistic than I would of liked it to, its more of a good observation if you think about it. Haven't you ever had the most amazing dream, where you wished it was your waking life? Damn it, the dreams always end in the best parts BTW, the title of this poem came from looking at a ball point pen lying on my desk lol
its like Fitter Happier pt 2 haha, all I need now is a monotone computer voice and viola!
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Anonymous
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Re: Fade Proof and Resistant [Re: chodamunky]
#1410750 - 03/26/03 06:21 AM (21 years, 8 days ago) |
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Seems I can?t connect with this empty world
i know this feeling. points of desperation lead me to say fuck the world. i wish i could crush the foundations of human interaction with my fists; it would feel really good. other than that, i see potential and beautiful things from humanity. so i might as well try to be a solution...
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Sclorch
Clyster
Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
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Re: Fade Proof and Resistant [Re: ]
#1412609 - 03/26/03 07:30 PM (21 years, 7 days ago) |
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I can give you a great definition of a "pink" when the search function is fixed.
-------------------- Note: In desperate need of a cure...
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