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lewisplanthead
blue-collar love


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 367
Loc: milk wood
Last seen: 7 years, 26 days
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When I was happy!
#14122078 - 03/14/11 09:35 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I just came to the realisation that I have never been happy.
I am unhappy.(although pleasantly drunk). I was reminiscing on all the many times that I have been happy and remembered that at those remembered times---- i was not happy!
So apparently I have never been happy(satisfied).
Is this the shocking truth or a depressive delusion?
What is real? What is love?
This is a dark, dark thread.
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pfxtc
RUEXP?


Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 21,166
Loc:
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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i hated myself yesterday
im very happy today
i think im bipolar
read this, i wrote it, tell me how much it sucks, maybe it'll make you feel better:
I think therefor I am, -Descartes
That statement is basically the main point of my argument. We exist, it's been proven. Death exists as well, and I'm fairly certain we don't think while we're dead. This gives a little insight to the power of living and the power of death.
People like to talk about God and religion and the lot of things. People also like to discuss the absence of a God. The problem with such theories is that there always comes a point in which one must ask "but who created God?" or "If there's no God, then what was there before the big bang?"
In my eyes it's relatively simple. The Multiverse that we inhabit has always existed. I say Multiverse because as stars live and die, our Universe is alive, and will one day. Just as we do.
Therefor I've coined a little term, Existence is Infinity. The "space" in which we inhabit has existed forever, and will always exist. time is a complete illusion, and only a means for us to create a little bit or order out of supposed chaos. Everything that could ever happen or has ever happened, is happening, now. Forever.
as Huxley explains in the doors of perception, everything in this Universe is connected. We are capable of seeing or interacting with anything going on anywhere. One must realize that EVERYTHING we see touch or feel is merely how our brains, as the result of evolution catered to survival, is perceiving that. In other words, we see what we need to see to survive in this physical world.
The essence of death is trivial. It seems as if everything recycles itself. We are recycled into the Earth, and we are the result of dead stars, which are the result of something else, which is also the result of something else.
Perception is the law of the Universe. We perceive ourselves to be alive because of the objects around us. Everything is measured aganist light, and we are measured against the physical world. What is the mind measured against? The mind is a byproduct of the physical body. The energies that have flown since the bang flow through our minds. When our body dies and we melt into the dirt, the energy continues to flow. this white light is present in everything.
As far as god is concerned, I believe there could infact, be gods. Not in any kind of sense most think of. Some would say that everything in the Universe is a being, experiencing itself, subjectively, at all times. Our Universe is a god, as other Universes are god's as well.
What brought these gods to life? What sparked the big bang? I can only imagine that our Universe gained life by the death of another being, or God, because that's how I have come to be, and how our planet came to be.
So I have come to deduce that life and death are.. the same thing. We are living and dying every moment. The white light, the essence of existence, has been living and dying since, always. There is no beginning or end to existence. Our thoughts live and die, time is an illusion, and existence will continue to dance with infinity.
-------------------- koods said: Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus. Life-long trip report
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collinZzZz
have moicy!



Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 1,916
Loc: midwaist
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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in before "baby don't hurt me"
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"I have never freed myself from the suspicion that there is something very odd about this mission."
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withoutawire
hi


Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 11,384
Loc: Honolulu, Hawaii
Last seen: 7 months, 16 days
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--------------------
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lewisplanthead
blue-collar love


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 367
Loc: milk wood
Last seen: 7 years, 26 days
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Re: When I was happy! [Re: pfxtc]
#14122213 - 03/14/11 09:51 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
pfxtc said: i hated myself yesterday
im very happy today
i think im bipolar
read this, i wrote it, tell me how much it sucks, maybe it'll make you feel better:
Interesting thoughts. I'm glad you think. Instead of replying to your thoughts(because I cannot) I would like to offer a passage from http://www.taopractice.org/ which has helped me recently. I help you, you help me! Is it a good thing to lose your mind? What is "good"? Who am I/you? Am I going crazy?
"When we become attached to the illusions of fortune and misfortune, we ride the crests and troughs of the wave with our minds. Our lives become like a rollercoaster. When things are going well, we feel that it is a permanent state and we become elated. When things are going badly, we also think it is permanent so we become depressed. Up and down, up and down. But when we are able to see the whole picture (the entire elephant), we can step back and see that the wave movements are a metaphor for the patterns in our lives. Things become easier, because we understand that all things are temporary and will change. The only "thing" that is not vibrating with this wave-like energy (duality) is wu chi, or the original self. It is the true self. When we find our true selves, we no longer ride this rollercoaster. We can be at peace. And when we are at peace we have come to the end of suffering."

hmmm.
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pfxtc
RUEXP?


Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 21,166
Loc:
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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I don't realy know you, but in my own experiences, such feelings are part of phases,
they come and go.
Eastern religion pisses me off with all it's hipocrasy, at least of late.
-------------------- koods said: Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus. Life-long trip report
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pfxtc
RUEXP?


Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 21,166
Loc:
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: When I was happy! [Re: pfxtc]
#14122449 - 03/14/11 10:23 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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however
if you need someone to talk to
shoot me a pm
-------------------- koods said: Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus. Life-long trip report
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cdnshroom
Music Will Set Us Free


Registered: 02/04/09
Posts: 638
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: When I was happy! [Re: pfxtc]
#14122450 - 03/14/11 10:23 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Wow this is intense. First theory I have heard on how we came to be that didn't make me go [Rquote]pfxtc said: i hated myself yesterday
im very happy today
i think im bipolar
read this, i wrote it, tell me how much it sucks, maybe it'll make you feel better:
I think therefor I am, -Descartes
That statement is basically the main point of my argument. We exist, it's been proven. Death exists as well, and I'm fairly certain we don't think while we're dead. This gives a little insight to the power of living and the power of death.
People like to talk about God and religion and the lot of things. People also like to discuss the absence of a God. The problem with such theories is that there always comes a point in which one must ask "but who created God?" or "If there's no God, then what was there before the big bang?"
In my eyes it's relatively simple. The Multiverse that we inhabit has always existed. I say Multiverse because as stars live and die, our Universe is alive, and will one day. Just as we do.
Therefor I've coined a little term, Existence is Infinity. The "space" in which we inhabit has existed forever, and will always exist. time is a complete illusion, and only a means for us to create a little bit or order out of supposed In my eyes it's relatively simple. The Multiverse that we inhabit has always existed. I say Multiverse because as stars live and die, our Universe is alive, and will one day. Just as we do.
Therefor I've coined a little term, Existence is Infinity. The "space" in which we inhabit has existed forever, and will always exist. time is a complete illusion, and only a means for us to create a little bit or order out of supposed chaos. Everything that could ever happen or has ever happened, is happening, now. Forever.
as Huxley explains in the doors of perception, everything in this Universe is connected. We are capable of seeing or interacting with anything going on anywhere. One must rEVERYTHING we see touch or feel is merely how our brains, as the result of evolution catered to survival, is perceiving that. In other words, we see what we need to see to survive in this physical world.
The essence of death is trivial. It seems as if everything recycles itself. We are recycled into the Earth, and we are the result of dead stars, which are the result of something else, which is also the result of something else.
Perception is the law of the Universe. We perceive ourselves to be alive because of the objects around us. Everything is measured aganist light, and we are measured against the physical world. What is the mind measured against? The mind is a byproduct of the physical body. The energies that have flown since the bang flow through our minds. When our body dies and we melt into the dirt, the energy continues to flow. this white light is present in everything.
As far as god is concerned, I believe there could infact, be gods. Not in any kind of sense most think of. Some would say that everything in the Universe is a being, experiencing itself, subjectively, at all times. Our Universe is a god, as other Universes are god's as well.
What brought these gods to life? What sparked the big bang? I can only imagine that our Universe gained life by the death of another being, or God, because that's how I have come to be, and how our planet came to be.
So I have come to deduce that life and death are.. the same thing. We are living and dying every moment. The white light, the essence of existence, has been living and dying since, always. There is no beginning or end to existence. Our thoughts live and die, time is an illusion, and existence will continue to dance with infinity.
Quote:
pfxtc said: i hated myself yesterday
im very happy today
i think im bipolar
read this, i wrote it, tell me how much it sucks, maybe it'll make you feel better:
I think therefor I am, -Descartes
That statement is basically the main point of my argument. We exist, it's been proven. Death exists as well, and I'm fairly certain we don't think while we're dead. This gives a little insight to the power of living and the power of death.
People like to talk about God and religion and the lot of things. People also like to discuss the absence of a God. The problem with such theories is that there always comes a point in which one must ask "but who created God?" or "If there's no God, then what was there before the big bang?"
In my eyes it's relatively simple. The Multiverse that we inhabit has always existed. I say Multiverse because as stars live and die, our Universe is alive, and will one day. Just as we do.
Therefor I've coined a little term, Existence is Infinity. The "space" in which we inhabit has existed forever, and will always exist. time is a complete illusion, and only a means for us to create a little bit or order out of supposed chaos. Everything that could ever happen or has ever happened, is happening, now. Forever.
as Huxley explains in the doors of perception, everything in this Universe is connected. We are capable of seeing or interacting with anything going on anywhere. One must realize that EVERYTHING we see touch or feel is merely how our brains, as the result of evolution catered to survival, is perceiving that. In other words, we see what we need to see to survive in this physical world.
The essence of death is trivial. It seems as if everything recycles itself. We are recycled into the Earth, and we are the result of dead stars, which are the result of something else, which is also the result of something else.
Perception is the law of the Universe. We perceive ourselves to be alive because of the objects around us. Everything is measured aganist light, and we are measured against the physical world. What is the mind measured against? The mind is a byproduct of the physical body. The energies that have flown since the bang flow through our minds. When our body dies and we melt into the dirt, the energy continues to flow. this white light is present in everything.
As far as god is concerned, I believe there could infact, be gods. Not in any kind of sense most think of. Some would say that everything in the Universe is a being, experiencing itself, subjectively, at all times. Our Universe is a god, as other Universes are god's as well.
What brought these gods to life? What sparked the big bang? I can only imagine that our Universe gained life by the death of another being, or God, because that's how I have come to be, and how our planet came to be.
So I have come to deduce that life and death are.. the same thing. We are living and dying every moment. The white light, the essence of existence, has been living and dying since, always. There is no beginning or end to existence. Our thoughts live and die, time is an illusion, and existence will continue to dance with infinity.
-------------------- "You must be the change you wish to see in the world" I'm a full-fledged music junkie......rehab is not an option.
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pfxtc
RUEXP?


Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 21,166
Loc:
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: When I was happy! [Re: cdnshroom]
#14122454 - 03/14/11 10:24 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Haha
Thanks man. It's a work in progress. That's like an ancient rough draft. I'm at like 10 pages now.
-------------------- koods said: Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus. Life-long trip report
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The_Ghost
ゴースト


Registered: 03/27/07
Posts: 15,802
Loc: USG Ishimura
Last seen: 11 months, 3 days
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Quote:
lewisplanthead said: I have never been happy.
Then how do you know what happiness is? 
I also call bullshit.
-------------------- / / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / / The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks. May His Circuits Ever Function
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cdnshroom
Music Will Set Us Free


Registered: 02/04/09
Posts: 638
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Sorry for the double quote. On my iPod. Tis fucked
-------------------- "You must be the change you wish to see in the world" I'm a full-fledged music junkie......rehab is not an option.
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pfxtc
RUEXP?


Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 21,166
Loc:
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: When I was happy! [Re: cdnshroom]
#14122486 - 03/14/11 10:29 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah I figured out what you were trying to say haha.
-------------------- koods said: Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus. Life-long trip report
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lewisplanthead
blue-collar love


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 367
Loc: milk wood
Last seen: 7 years, 26 days
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Re: When I was happy! [Re: The_Ghost]
#14122487 - 03/14/11 10:29 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Then how do you know what happiness is? 
I also call bullshit.
you're good
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electricfeel
wild wallflower


Registered: 05/19/10
Posts: 554
Loc: sinking into the center
Last seen: 7 months, 17 days
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Quote:
lewisplanthead said:The only "thing" that is not vibrating with this wave-like energy (duality) is wu chi, or the original self. It is the true self. When we find our true selves, we no longer ride this rollercoaster. We can be at peace. And when we are at peace we have come to the end of suffering."
But HOW do we find this?! Once and for all. The real end. Not a taste, not a sneak peak. I've had plenty of beautiful tastes, of the end, from the psychedelics. I've been dying inside with the longing to find out. The closest answer I can think of at this point in time is devotion to the struggle/to the ultimate goal, because I can admit, I'm not devoted yet. I just have this fucking longing. I don't know the answer.
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