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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: BothHands]
    #22758807 - 01/09/16 07:32 PM (8 years, 20 days ago)

I suspect you mean some of your fellow shroomerites/shroomerettes


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OfflineBothHands
Dog Coffee
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Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: Connoisseur]
    #22758836 - 01/09/16 07:39 PM (8 years, 20 days ago)

lol, no, unless you count mellow kitty x_x

I mostly meant my heroin addict friend from middle school.


--------------------
Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.


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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: BothHands]
    #22758881 - 01/09/16 07:47 PM (8 years, 20 days ago)

That is who I'm counting lol I'm if figured there would be others though.....

I'm sure she gets it though


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OfflineBothHands
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Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
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Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: Connoisseur]
    #22758919 - 01/09/16 07:54 PM (8 years, 20 days ago)

Nah, the only reason I dislike mellow kitty, is because she came down to FL, crashed at my place, we had a great 'ol time, and then later she starts an online relationship with who was my best friend at that time, and conviced her to stop talking to me because I was doing dope.  Nevermind the fact that this girl introduced me to dope, and mellow kitty, well, is dope.  It was pretty uncalled for, fucking with my actual personal life after I had put her up for a few nights, taken her to the airport, etc.  The friend who introduced me to dope is the only reason I developed a problem, because I had looked up to her since middleschool.  I always thought she could beat my ass, but just recently we had a bit of a scuffle, and I would up with my foot on her throat, though she did tear my favorite bra, bite me and leave a huge scar, and claw up my arm.  I still kicked her ass :awesome:  Her ex-bf/my roommate sewed the bra back together and now all is right in the world.  But anyway, she's out of my life for good, so even though things are a little more boring than usual, I can actually be a person and do productive things with my life.


--------------------
Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.


Edited by BothHands (01/09/16 07:55 PM)


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Offlinesun_spots
Good boob day
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Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 14,306
Loc: Nirvana
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: BothHands]
    #22758992 - 01/09/16 08:08 PM (8 years, 20 days ago)

Oh shit, BH, back from the dead! Glad to hear things are looking up for you.  You deserve it.  :hug:


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ShiVersblood said:
shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters

LordSenate said:
Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.


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OfflineBothHands
Dog Coffee
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Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
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Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: sun_spots]
    #22759024 - 01/09/16 08:15 PM (8 years, 20 days ago)

Sun_spots!  How are things with burke and little burke_spots?  Sorry I haven't even been around facebook, so it must look like I fell off the earth.  Sometimes I like to fall off the earth.  I apologize for my current level of alcohol intoxication. :awesome:


--------------------
Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.


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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: BothHands]
    #22759084 - 01/09/16 08:28 PM (8 years, 20 days ago)

Quote:

BothHands said:
Nah, the only reason I dislike mellow kitty, is because she came down to FL, crashed at my place, we had a great 'ol time, and then later she starts an online relationship with who was my best friend at that time, and conviced her to stop talking to me because I was doing dope.  Nevermind the fact that this girl introduced me to dope, and mellow kitty, well, is dope.  It was pretty uncalled for, fucking with my actual personal life after I had put her up for a few nights, taken her to the airport, etc.  The friend who introduced me to dope is the only reason I developed a problem, because I had looked up to her since middleschool.  I always thought she could beat my ass, but just recently we had a bit of a scuffle, and I would up with my foot on her throat, though she did tear my favorite bra, bite me and leave a huge scar, and claw up my arm.  I still kicked her ass :awesome:  Her ex-bf/my roommate sewed the bra back together and now all is right in the world.  But anyway, she's out of my life for good, so even though things are a little more boring than usual, I can actually be a person and do productive things with my life.




That's beat


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Offlinesun_spots
Good boob day
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Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 14,306
Loc: Nirvana
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: BothHands]
    #22759178 - 01/09/16 08:51 PM (8 years, 20 days ago)

Quote:

BothHands said:
Sun_spots!  How are things with burke and little burke_spots?  Sorry I haven't even been around facebook, so it must look like I fell off the earth.  Sometimes I like to fall off the earth.  I apologize for my current level of alcohol intoxication. :awesome:




No apologies necessary. Truth be told, I'm a little jealous of your intoxication. :lol:

We're doing well.  Not getting a whole lot of sleep, and we haven't had a night out in over a year, but that's to be expected with a 14-month-old in the house.  He's such a cutie, though, and so freaking smart.  All things considered, life is hella good.

I hardly ever post on fb anymore.  I still go on there to see how my friends and family are doing, but other than baby pictures and the occasional  interesting article, I really don't have anything to post about.  People get real dramatic on there, too, and I'm not interested in that bs.  So yeah, fuck facebook for the most part.


--------------------
ShiVersblood said:
shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters

LordSenate said:
Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.


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OfflineBothHands
Dog Coffee
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Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
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Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: sun_spots]
    #22759197 - 01/09/16 08:53 PM (8 years, 20 days ago)

Yeah, that seems to be the way it is.  Still, I envy you guys.  I would like a little one of my own and something stable for sure.  My little brother has an 8mo who is the cutest little thing ever.  I don't think I want to post her photo in a threat about dirty sex though :tongue2:


--------------------
Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.


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OfflinePLURAL
PLUR
Male

Registered: 01/16/14
Posts: 31,320
Loc: PLUR
Last seen: 2 months, 27 days
Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: sun_spots]
    #22759247 - 01/09/16 09:05 PM (8 years, 20 days ago)

14 months already?

Damn, times been going so fast, it doesn't seem like it's been that long, it feels like I was just reading the news a few months ago at most...

It seems like the older I get the faster time goes.

I have a ~16 month old niece, she's so cool. I haven't seen her in like 24 hours and I miss her so much, I'm used to seeing her everyday.


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PLUR


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Offlinesun_spots
Good boob day
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Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 14,306
Loc: Nirvana
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Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: PLURAL]
    #22759426 - 01/09/16 09:42 PM (8 years, 20 days ago)

Yeah dude, time accelerates exponentially as we age, for sure.  It's ironic because the older we get, the more we want to savor every moment we've got left. 

@BH, having a family is amazing, no doubt, but the experiences you've had while single and childless are pretty incredible too.  If I had it all to do over again I'd definitely wait until I'd graduated college and done some travelling before settling down.  As it is, though, there's no point in harboring any regrets.

I should probably stfu now, lol.  Sorry for the derail, people.


--------------------
ShiVersblood said:
shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters

LordSenate said:
Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.


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OfflineSunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe
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Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
Loc: Planet earth
Last seen: 1 month, 21 days
Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: Connoisseur]
    #22760182 - 01/10/16 02:37 AM (8 years, 20 days ago)

Quote:

Connoisseur said:
Wow BH long time no see! a hell of a post right there lol



I say :awesomenod:


--------------------
:sunny::inlove::peyotespectrum::peyotespectrum::inlove::sunny:
And to everyone who thinks life is just a game,
Do you like the part you are playing?
This is the time in life I am living!
And I face each day with a smile :smile:
My music Library of Synthesizer goodness


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Anonymous #67

Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: SunnyD]
    #22788654 - 01/16/16 11:37 PM (8 years, 13 days ago)

I'm currently 22 and a bisexual male. Just a bit of background. Anyway, here's a few.

1. Had another bisexual friend who told me he fucked our other mutual friends' dad (who is about 50 years old, 400 pounds, and on a constant IV. One night all my friends party at said mutual friends' house. By the end of the night I brought up that story to his dad, me being drunk as hell, ended up fucking him. I had him tie my hands behind my back with a Pokemon belt I borrowed from one of my friends that night.

2. Replied to a CL ad by a gay guy who is 2 years older than my dad. (guy was 47, I was 20). Whatever, he was sexy as fuck, and we ended up dating for a while.

3. At my buddy's high school graduation (same friend who is the original mutual friends' dad fucker) I somehow got introduced to a gay guy because my friends knew I was bisexual and they thought I needed to meet more non-straight guys. I didnt know at the time he had a boyfriend. Party was about 1000 feet from the beach of lake Erie. We ended up walking to the beach and he rode my cock as I laid spread eagled on the sand to the sunrise, drunk as hell. Funny part is his girlfriend was at the party, he didnt get laid, and thanks to him, among others, introducing me to that gay guy I did!

4. (Happened a couple of weeks ago) Started talking to a pre-op MtF tranny and met at his house for a booty call. Was supposed to tie me up, but didn't get that far sadly. He fucked me pretty good, ate out my ass (felt good and creepy at same time) and jacked me off until I explosively came while I was feeling up his ass and bra he had on. So smooth, the bra was too.

5. I met a older guy ( like my grandpa) and we met when I saw him get off the bus, using crutches, and I asked if he needed any help. Walked with him for a bit and he asked if I wanted to smoke a jay. Best friends ever since. Anyway we were having a mini vacation in his RV, had it boondocked at walmart. Fuck buddy of mine wants to fuck and neither of us had any lube. Borrowed some lube money from grandpa (he was cool with it). Had the fuck buddy drive over to us at Walmart, invited him in to smoke a jay with grandpa and I. Ended up fucking soon afterwards in the next parking space over in his car for about 2 hours.


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Anonymous #39

Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: Anonymous #67] * 1
    #22788663 - 01/16/16 11:43 PM (8 years, 13 days ago)

I'm not saying your aren't really bisexual. I just don't see much evidence to that effect.


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Anonymous #67

Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: Anonymous #39]
    #22788723 - 01/17/16 12:10 AM (8 years, 13 days ago)

I am. I've had sex with women and enjoy it, but I usually prefer men just slightly more. Most of my crazy sexscapades for some reason or another usually happen only with men. Men on average in my opinion do my sexually crazy acts.

Also #6. Was in jail for a year for a small amount of pot and probation violation...anyway, one of my friends in there is gay and I didnt know at the time. We we're both trustees and went to the main jail in the morning for our shift. Its right after my 21'st birthday and as a joke I asked where my b-day blowie was. I was completely stunned when he said when do you want it? I told him right now. Hid from the cameras on the other side of the washer in the laundry room and he gave me head first, then me him after making out.


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Offlinebloodsheen
ChemChaplin
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Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
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Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: Anonymous #67] * 1
    #22788797 - 01/17/16 12:50 AM (8 years, 13 days ago)

I'm not sure I was consider those things dirty, more...just gay? If you inserted the opposite sex into the opposite role in all of those stories nobody would think twice. Except for the fat dad one, thats pretty dirty :lol:


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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Offlinekoods
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Registered: 05/26/11
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Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: bloodsheen]
    #22788843 - 01/17/16 01:21 AM (8 years, 13 days ago)

Somebody messaged me on Grindr once who was the dad of someone I was friends with in high school. Not my type, but his son was so hot.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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OfflineApostle
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Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
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Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: BothHands]
    #22789199 - 01/17/16 06:51 AM (8 years, 13 days ago)

Quote:

BothHands said:
Nah, the only reason I dislike mellow kitty, is because she came down to FL, crashed at my place, we had a great 'ol time, and then later she starts an online relationship with who was my best friend at that time, and conviced her to stop talking to me because I was doing dope.  Nevermind the fact that this girl introduced me to dope, and mellow kitty, well, is dope.  It was pretty uncalled for, fucking with my actual personal life after I had put her up for a few nights, taken her to the airport, etc.  The friend who introduced me to dope is the only reason I developed a problem, because I had looked up to her since middleschool.  I always thought she could beat my ass, but just recently we had a bit of a scuffle, and I would up with my foot on her throat, though she did tear my favorite bra, bite me and leave a huge scar, and claw up my arm.  I still kicked her ass :awesome:  Her ex-bf/my roommate sewed the bra back together and now all is right in the world.  But anyway, she's out of my life for good, so even though things are a little more boring than usual, I can actually be a person and do productive things with my life.



She sounds like a right cunt.

all my shroomerite experiences have been really positive.


What is it with chicks and giving a fuck about who people have as friends?

Or caring about trivial shit in general?


whatever.

good read tho.


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InvisibleDistorted Vision
The best. Of the worst.
Male


Registered: 07/30/09
Posts: 4,292
Loc: Indiana Flag
Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: Anonymous #67]
    #22790297 - 01/17/16 12:47 PM (8 years, 13 days ago)

That's pretty cool you got random head from your friend in jail!

:highfive:


--------------------


"Yo yo just here to spread my clit and show ya'll what a wonderful and free being we are all inside lets take the acid and turn inside into the outside come on over baby lets smell the roses ohh ohh come on we're about to get lit show my undies to your baby I'll hug it down three times go around frown come on we aint a nice clown kiss me upside down down down come on sorry if you cant handle my wokeness come on lets take her panties off write shroomery on my asshole and taste it lick it make if feel like we was 1978 come on baby lets do the locamotion"-Twig dude


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Re: dirtiest shit you've done sexually [Re: Apostle]
    #22790582 - 01/17/16 02:00 PM (8 years, 13 days ago)

Quote:

Apostle said:
Quote:

BothHands said:
Nah, the only reason I dislike mellow kitty, is because she came down to FL, crashed at my place, we had a great 'ol time, and then later she starts an online relationship with who was my best friend at that time, and conviced her to stop talking to me because I was doing dope.  Nevermind the fact that this girl introduced me to dope, and mellow kitty, well, is dope.  It was pretty uncalled for, fucking with my actual personal life after I had put her up for a few nights, taken her to the airport, etc.  The friend who introduced me to dope is the only reason I developed a problem, because I had looked up to her since middleschool.  I always thought she could beat my ass, but just recently we had a bit of a scuffle, and I would up with my foot on her throat, though she did tear my favorite bra, bite me and leave a huge scar, and claw up my arm.  I still kicked her ass :awesome:  Her ex-bf/my roommate sewed the bra back together and now all is right in the world.  But anyway, she's out of my life for good, so even though things are a little more boring than usual, I can actually be a person and do productive things with my life.



She sounds like a right cunt.

all my shroomerite experiences have been really positive.


What is it with chicks and giving a fuck about who people have as friends?

Or caring about trivial shit in general?


whatever.

good read tho.



I've heard it said that a man is like a dog and a woman is like a cat

When a dog gets mad he'll take a big bite out of your arm and run off

When a cat gets made she'll fucking destroy you, claws and teeth, and leave your tattered body just intact enough to survive

IME thats pretty true


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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